Time to Trust

by Rosemary Badger

  Matthew's whoops of laughter trickled right down to her toes and she joined in as they remembered her clumsy attempts at art. When the laughter finally subsided Matthew's voice became suddenly wistful.

  'I miss you, Kate. I wish Christmas would get here so you can come home.'

  Pain tore at her heart. Home. The cottage. Soon there would be neither. Poor little Matthew! How was she ever going to tell him that after Christmas they might never see each other again? She knew he had come to love and trust her. He was just a child, a baby. He would never understand that she had to leave, that there was no place in his home for her, just as there wouldn't be in the cottage after it was sold. God help us all, she thought as tears sprang to her eyes. We're victims of love, the three of us—Matt, Gerard and myself. What about Ria? A voice inside her screamed. Suddenly Kate understood. Ria had the key which held them prisoners. Until Ria relinquished that key, Gerard would never feel free to love Kate the way she knew he wanted to. He was a man of honour, of deep pride, and it was this honour and pride which made him feel personally responsible for the failure of his marriage. He blamed himself, and he would go on blaming himself until eventually he was destroyed.

  'Kate? Katie? Are you there?' Matthew's anxious voice broke into her thoughts.

  'Yes, yes, of course I am, darling.'

  'I thought you'd gone without saying goodbye,' he said tearfully.

  'I would never do that, Matthew,' Kate said gently.

  'Well, you didn't hear what I said,' he came back accusingly. 'I said I love you.'

  How young he sounded and oh, how very, very vulnerable!

  'I heard you, and I'm glad, because I love you too, sweetie. So very, very much.'

  'And you'll be home soon?' he continued anxiously.

  'You bet I will!'

  But there was something she had to do first. Early the next morning Kate was on a flight heading for Melbourne. In her handbag was the address of the Boyntons, given to her by Mrs Abbott after Kate had finished speaking with Matthew. Surprisingly, Mrs Abbott hadn't questioned her about why she wanted the address.

  Kate leaned back and closed her eyes. She was tired, having had next to no sleep the night before. Gerard had rung her just after she had hung up the phone from speaking with Matthew and Mrs Abbott. A half-smile formed on her lips as she remembered their conversation.

  'Kate? I've been trying to reach you the whole day. Where in blazes halve you been?'

  'I went to the park.'

  'The park?' his voice had exploded over the phone.

  'Yes, I felt restless and I needed to think.'

  A heavy silence drifted through the wires before Gerard spoke. 'You went to the park to think when you're just over a virus?'

  'Yes.' She had taken a deep breath. 'I always go to the park when I'm . . .'

  'Troubled?' He had supplied the word for her and she had nodded into the phone. Gerard accepted her silence and understood. 'Oh, Kate!' he had groaned, and she knew he was clutching the telephone just as tightly as she was. 'What have I done to you? To us?'

  'We might have a chance yet, Gerard,' she whispered, while tears stung her eyes. She had rushed on, 'When will you be leaving Melbourne?'

  He was a while in answering. 'I'm holding a conference first thing in the morning and flying out before lunch.'

  He would be gone from Melbourne before her plane landed. There wouldn't be even the slightest chance of running into him while she was there. The success of her plan depended on his absence. Kate knew Gerard would never allow her to visit his ex-wife.

  'Kate?' Her name had been followed by a tortured sigh. 'I'll be going straight to Bargara Beach. I ... I won't be stopping in Brisbane.'

  No! Was this his way of saying goodbye? 'I see,' Kate had whispered achingly.

  Another heavy silence. When he spoke again Kate could barely recognise his voice. 'Take care of yourself ... my darling!'

  Then he hung up, and Kate had sat holding the phone for a long time before she finally replaced it on the receiver. No matter what the outcome of her meeting with Ria, Kate knew Gerard's last two words would remain with her for ever. My darling!

  She shivered in protest against the air-conditioning which she was certain was turned up full. The male passenger sitting next to her smiled down at her pale face. Kate didn't notice the smile nor the way the young blond man edged closer until his shoulder was touching hers.

  'Not very talkative, are you?' he enquired smoothly, and Kate raised startled hazel eyes to the smiling face.

  'No,' she muttered, edging away from him to view the clear blue sky which held not a trace of cloud. The plane was circling over Sydney and the passengers were treated to a breathtaking view of the coast leading up to the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the spectacular Opera House. The sparkling blue waters churned under the activities of small speedboats darting out of the paths of hydrofoils and huge lumbering ferries, their decks crowded with people.

  The sun blazed down on graceful skyscrapers which speared the blue skies. There were plenty of parks, and it seemed to Kate that every tree was in blossom while rolling green lawns gave way to masses of flower beds which provided a sea of shimmering colour. The pilot spoke and she obeyed the order to fasten her seat-belt.

  There would be a one-hour wait before her connecting flight to Melbourne. She refused an invitation from the young man to have a drink in one of the many airport lounges, and when he shrugged and walked away Kate silently wished him better luck on his next trip.

  Kate spent the hour anxiously waiting for it to pass! She hadn't been able to eat the breakfast served on the plane, and while she felt hungry she couldn't swallow the raisin toast she had ordered in the cafeteria, although she did manage three cups of coffee. The hot liquid helped relieve the pain in her throat which was fast becoming swollen. She wished she had remembered to bring the tablets the doctor had prescribed, and despite the comfortable temperature in the cafeteria she felt cold and shivery. The virus had a good grip on her now.

  Kate dozed on and off during the flight to Melbourne. The passenger sitting next to her, this time an elderly woman, had to wake her up to tell her they were landing and to fasten her seat-belt. She managed this with shaky fingers before drifting again into a dreamless world only to be awakened by the stewardess informing her they had landed.

  Melbourne was suffering from a heatwave, and after stepping from the air-conditioned plane on to the tarmac Kate felt she had entered a furnace. By the time she had walked the distance to the terminal her blue skirt and lighter blue blouse were clinging to her. She could feel the perspiration running down her back.

  She managed to get a taxi almost immediately, instructing the driver to take her to a hotel she had stayed at with her parents the few times they had visited Melbourne. Kate knew it to be fashionable, respectable and, above all, reasonably priced. She couldn't afford to be too extravagant. Her air fare had taken a big chunk from her savings as it was.

  It was with no small amount of relief that she finally found herself in the comfortable quarters of her hotel room. The first thing she did was to remove her notebook from her shoulder bag and dial the Boynton residence. The telephone rang several times before it was finally answered, allowing Kate plenty of time to build up her anxieties. It hadn't occurred to her that the Boyntons might not be at home.

  Enid Boynton sounded pleasant and had been expecting her call. Abbey, bless her heart, had rung earlier, thereby paving the way for Kate. Kate accepted an invitation for afternoon tea at four o' clock. After she hung up, she remained sitting on the edge of the double bed for several minutes before getting up to shower and dress for the occasion.

  The occasion.

  Kate was never able to forget the next twenty-four hours of her life.

  CHAPTER NINE

  'So Gerard doesn't know you're here?'

  Kate sipped at the iced tea Mrs Boynton had poured into her glass and shook her head.

  'No,' she answered, carefully placing the glass o
n the small wicker table which separated them.

  'Then I don't think we should be discussing him.'

  Kate leaned forward. 'I haven't come all this way merely to gossip! Please, Mrs Boynton,' she pleaded, 'you've got to help me. I must know about Ria!'

  'But why?'

  'Because she hurt Gerard and Matthew. She hurt them badly. I ... I love them, Mrs Boynton, but -'

  Mrs Boynton's eyes narrowed shrewdly on Kate's flushed face. 'Does Gerard love you?' she asked quietly.

  Kate hesitated. 'Yes, I think he does.'

  Mrs Boynton arched her brows. 'You think he does?'

  'Yes,' Kate answered simply, and Mrs Boynton saw that love in her beautiful hazel eyes. She was silent for several minutes as she studied the quiet determination on Kate's face, and Kate knew she was considering just what she would say and how much she would reveal.

  'Gerard was a young geology student when he first met Ria,' Mrs Boynton slowly began. 'Ria was studying art at the same university. Her family had a great deal of money, while Gerard had to take on part-time work to keep himself at the university.' Mrs Boynton shrugged. 'They fell in love and got married.'

  Kate sighed. 'I had already guessed that,' she said softly. 'What happened after they were married?'

  Mrs Boynton chuckled. 'You're really determined to drag all that I know from me, aren't you?' she asked, and then at the look on Kate's face, became suddenly serious. 'Very well, then, if it does any good I'll be glad. I'm sure any information I give you will be treated sensibly, and I believe you when you say you love Gerard and Matthew. They're both very special people,' she added quietly, 'and I have a feeling that you must be special to them.' She reached across the small table and patted Kate's hand. 'Where should I begin?' she mused aloud.

  'After their marriage,' Kate prompted gently.

  'Yes—well, as I've mentioned, Ria's family had money and, as they were obviously taken with their new son-in-law, wanted to help Gerard in his business. Gerard refused help, and that's when the trouble began. He was determined to make it on his own, while Ria was equally determined not to do without any of the creature comforts she had grown up with. Gerard had started his oil-drilling exercises and Ria spent money faster than he could make it. He was away for long periods at a time, and when he was home she made life unbearable for him. They'd decided on a divorce when Ria discovered she was pregnant. Naturally Gerard called the divorce off.'

  'Did they try to make a go of things after that?' asked Kate, thinking of the joy the prospect of a baby would bring.

  Mrs Boynton smiled sadly. 'No, if anything the situation became worse. Ria became very bitter. She didn't want the child and wanted to have an abortion.'

  'No!' Kate gasped.

  'I'm afraid so, and she would have succeeded if Gerard hadn't become suspicious. He got to the clinic just in time to stop her.' Mrs Boynton brightened and smiled. 'Isn't Matthew a lovely child?'

  'He certainly is,' Kate agreed, chilled by the knowledge that he might never have been. 'He's so much like Gerard.'

  'A perfect replica,' Mrs Boynton nodded.

  Kate sat back in her chair and pressed her fingers to her throbbing temples. 'What was Ria like as a mother?' she dared to ask. 'Matthew was very upset when they first moved to Bargara Beach. Perhaps Abbey told you the trouble we had with him. He refused to talk to anyone.'

  Tears filled Kate's eyes. 'He and Gerard just seemed so ... so alone!'

  Sympathy flooded Mrs Boynton's eyes at Kate's obvious distress. 'You must remember what they'd both been through,' she gently reminded Kate. 'But they're not alone any longer, are they, dear? They have you now!'

  'Oh, Mrs Boynton,' she sighed wistfully, 'if it was only that simple! I don't think Gerard will ever risk marriage again.'

  'But you said he loves you.'

  'Yes, I believe he does.'

  'And you obviously love him.'

  'Yes, I do.'

  'Have you told him how you feel?'

  'Yes,' Kate sighed, 'I have.'

  Mrs Boynton's brows shot up. 'And?'

  'He told me -' Kate cleared her throat with great difficulty, 'he told me to look for love with someone else.'

  Mrs Boynton chuckled and Kate looked up in surprise.

  'Dear Kate,' the older woman said, 'never listen to what a man says! Listen to what his heart tells you. You said you believe he loves you. You've been listening to his heart.'

  I have been listening to his heart, Kate thought as she gazed across the spectacular landscaped gardens towards the swimming-pool. The three Boynton children, all in their teens, had arrived home from school and were having great fun in the pool. There was love and understanding in this home, and Kate had no doubt that Mrs Boynton was responsible for most of it. She had made their house a home and she was without doubt the centre of her family's security. She was, quite simply, the children's mother, her husband's wife. The world would always seem a better place for them because they had learned to trust it from the very beginning.

  Kate turned back to Mrs Boynton and smiled. 'You've taught me a great deal today,' she said. 'Thank you.'

  Mrs Boynton responded by passing Kate a tray of sandwiches and refilling her glass. 'If I've been of any help I'm glad,' she said when she had settled back into her chair. 'However, I'm certain you would have come to all the right conclusions on your own. You strike me as a sensible girl.' Her eyes twinkled. 'Sensible and beautiful. Gerard is a very lucky young man.'

  Soft colour flooded Kate's cheeks as she turned once again to watch the children in the pool. They were conducting races now and there was much laughing and cheering.

  'Would you consider it sensible if I paid Ria a visit?' Kate asked softly as she continued to watch the children.

  'I would not!' Mrs Boynton responded vehemently.

  Kate turned sharply. 'But why?'

  'Because there would be nothing gained,' Mrs Boynton answered simply.

  'But she was Gerard's wife!' Kate responded, anguish showing plainly in her eyes.

  'Yes, she was, Kate, and that's a fact you'll never be able to change.' Mrs Boynton leaned forward. 'Ria belongs in the past. If you're sensible you'll keep her there,' she added shrewdly.

  Kate knew Mrs Boynton was right. There was nothing to be gained, and Ria did belong to the past. Still -

  'She may no longer be Gerard's wife, but she'll always be Matthew's mother.' Kate's voice broke.

  Mrs Boynton sighed and shook her head. 'Ria used her child just like she used everything in her life. She was never actually a mother to him, not in the way you or I would use the term. Nannies took care of the boy when Gerard was away on business, and you must remember, Kate, Gerard and Ria haven't lived under the same roof for years. The divorce was merely a formality.'

  'But Matthew was so upset when Gerard took him from her,' Kate protested as she wrung her hands.

  Mrs Boynton smiled sadly. 'Yes, I can imagine the act Ria would have put on but, believe me, it would have been to hurt Gerard. Ria wouldn't have cared what damage she did to the child.'

  As Kate prepared to leave Mrs Boynton offered to drive her to the hotel, but Kate declined. 'I've taken up enough of your time,' she said, kissing the older woman's cheek.

  'Time well spent, I hope,' Mrs Boynton responded smilingly. 'I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of you.'

  Kate returned the smile but didn't answer. She knew she would never be truly satisfied until she faced the enemy, and Ria was still the enemy. She had caused grave damage to the two people Kate loved most in the whole world. She had to be certain Ria would never hurt any of them again. She took a deep breath and quietly asked Mrs Boynton for Ria's address. Mrs Boynton started to protest, but at the look in Kate's eyes sighed and gave it to her. Kate jotted it down in her little notebook and hurried to catch the waiting taxi.

  She instructed the driver to let her out half a block before Ria's house. She paid the driver and walked slowly down the leafy tree-lined street. Dusk was fast approaching and t
he street lights were already on. The air felt hot and clammy and not a leaf stirred. Kate counted the numbers off as she passed each home. Ria's place was in the same exclusively wealthy district as the Boyntons' and the homes were old and well established. Despite the almost overbearing heat, Kate shivered when she finally found herself standing outside Ria's gate. She suppressed a powerful urge to smile when she read the signs prominently displayed on the wrought-iron enclosure: TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED and BEWARE OF THE DOG. From what she had learned about Ria the warnings seemed in character.

  But they did nothing to boost Kate's self-confidence. She stood staring at the words While visions of herself being torn apart by ferocious dogs raced across her mind. Further up and almost obscured by the ensuing hedge was another sign: RING FOR GUARD. Below this was a round white button. Kate started to reach for it when suddenly the gates started to swing open. At the same time there was the distinctive sound of a car's motor. Kate darted to one side of the gate, pretending she was a passer-by as a long, low and very sleek red sports car zoomed between the parted gates and halted just outside them. A tall blonde woman stepped from the car and took the few steps necessary to reach the white button which shut the gates. Turning back to the car, she glanced at Kate, and Kate was struck by the cold, flat, blue eyes that flicked carelessly over her. The woman's brows were highly arched, giving the long, rather thin face a look of perpetual surprise. Kate was about to speak when another voice sounded from the car. It was far from pleasant.

  'Hurry up, Ria. Do you want us to miss the opening number?'

  Despite the warmth of the evening Ria wore a mink wrap. She turned up the collar as she hurried to get back into the car. Kate caught a glimpse of a fat, balding man wedged behind the steering wheel, his pudgy fingers adorned with gold rings.

  'Darling, don't be such a grouch!' Ria admonished laughingly. 'Did you notice that waif beside the gates? A most unusual-looking creature. I had the feeling she wanted to speak to me for some reason.'

  The car roared off, drowning Ria's words. Kate watched until the vehicle was out of sight. Sighing heavily, she turned and walked back down the street. She hadn't spoken to Ria, but now she knew it was no longer necessary. Ria's cold blue eyes had told her all she needed to know.