Show me this piece. I am joyful of your sights.
Enter Alcibiades, with the rest
Most welcome, sir!
Apemantus
So, so, there!
Aches contract and starve your supple joints!
That there should be small love ’mongst these sweet knaves,
And all this courtesy! The strain of man’s bred out
Into baboon and monkey.
Alcibiades
Sir, you have saved my longing, and I feed
Most hungerly on your sight.
Timon
Right welcome, sir!
Ere we depart, we’ll share a bounteous time
In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.
Exeunt all except Apemantus
Enter two Lords
First Lord
What time o’ day is’t, Apemantus?
Apemantus
Time to be honest.
First Lord
That time serves still.
Apemantus
The more accursed thou, that still omitt’st it.
Second Lord
Thou art going to Lord Timon’s feast?
Apemantus
Ay, to see meat fill knaves and wine heat fools.
Second Lord
Fare thee well, fare thee well.
Apemantus
Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.
Second Lord
Why, Apemantus?
Apemantus
Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.
First Lord
Hang thyself!
Apemantus
No, I will do nothing at thy bidding: make thy requests to thy friend.
Second Lord
Away, unpeaceable dog, or I’ll spurn thee hence!
Apemantus
I will fly, like a dog, the heels o’ the ass.
Exit
First Lord
He’s opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in,
And taste Lord Timon’s bounty? he outgoes
The very heart of kindness.
Second Lord
He pours it out; Plutus, the god of gold,
Is but his steward: no meed, but he repays
Sevenfold above itself; no gift to him,
But breeds the giver a return exceeding
All use of quittance.
First Lord
The noblest mind he carries
That ever govern’d man.
Second Lord
Long may he live in fortunes! Shall we in?
First Lord
I’ll keep you company.
Exeunt
SCENE II. A BANQUETING-ROOM IN TIMON’S HOUSE.
Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served in; Flavius and others attending; then enter Timon, Alcibiades, Lords, Senators, and Ventidius. Then comes, dropping, after all, Apemantus, discontentedly, like himself
Ventidius
Most honour’d Timon,
It hath pleased the gods to remember my father’s age,
And call him to long peace.
He is gone happy, and has left me rich:
Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound
To your free heart, I do return those talents,
Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help
I derived liberty.
Timon
O, by no means,
Honest Ventidius; you mistake my love:
I gave it freely ever; and there’s none
Can truly say he gives, if he receives:
If our betters play at that game, we must not dare
To imitate them; faults that are rich are fair.
Ventidius
A noble spirit!
Timon
Nay, my lords,
They all stand ceremoniously looking on Timon
Ceremony was but devised at first
To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,
Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;
But where there is true friendship, there needs none.
Pray, sit; more welcome are ye to my fortunes
Than my fortunes to me.
They sit
First Lord
My lord, we always have confess’d it.
Apemantus
Ho, ho, confess’d it! hang’d it, have you not?
Timon
O, Apemantus, you are welcome.
Apemantus
No;
You shall not make me welcome:
I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.
Timon
Fie, thou’rt a churl; ye’ve got a humour there
Does not become a man: ’tis much to blame.
They say, my lords, ‘ira furor brevis est;’ but yond man is ever angry. Go, let him have a table by himself, for he does neither affect company, nor is he fit for’t, indeed.
Apemantus
Let me stay at thine apperil, Timon: I come to observe; I give thee warning on’t.
Timon
I take no heed of thee; thou’rt an Athenian, therefore welcome: I myself would have no power; prithee, let my meat make thee silent.
Apemantus
I scorn thy meat; ’twould choke me, for I should ne’er flatter thee. O you gods, what a number of men eat Timon, and he sees ’em not! It grieves me to see so many dip their meat in one man’s blood; and all the madness is, he cheers them up too.
I wonder men dare trust themselves with men:
Methinks they should invite them without knives;
Good for their meat, and safer for their lives.
There’s much example for’t; the fellow that sits next him now, parts bread with him, pledges the breath of him in a divided draught, is the readiest man to kill him: ’t has been proved. If I were a huge man, I should fear to drink at meals;
Lest they should spy my windpipe’s dangerous notes:
Great men should drink with harness on their throats.
Timon
My lord, in heart; and let the health go round.
Second Lord
Let it flow this way, my good lord.
Apemantus
Flow this way! A brave fellow! he keeps his tides well. Those healths will make thee and thy state look ill, Timon. Here’s that which is too weak to be a sinner, honest water, which ne’er left man i’ the mire:
This and my food are equals; there’s no odds:
Feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods.
Apemantus’ grace.
Immortal gods, I crave no pelf;
I pray for no man but myself:
Grant I may never prove so fond,
To trust man on his oath or bond;
Or a harlot, for her weeping;
Or a dog, that seems a-sleeping:
Or a keeper with my freedom;
Or my friends, if I should need ’em.
Amen. So fall to’t:
Rich men sin, and I eat root.
Eats and drinks
Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus!
Timon
Captain Alcibiades, your heart’s in the field now.
Alcibiades
My heart is ever at your service, my lord.
Timon
You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies than a dinner of friends.
Alcibiades
So the were bleeding-new, my lord, there’s no meat like ’em: I could wish my best friend at such a feast.
Apemantus
Would all those fatterers were thine enemies then, that then thou mightst kill ’em and bid me to ’em!
First Lord
Might we but have that happiness, my lord, that you would once use our hearts, whereby we might express some part of our zeals, we should think ourselves for ever perfect.
Timon
O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods themselves have provided that I shall have much help from you: how had you been my friends else? why have you that charitable title
from thousands, did not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told more of you to myself than you can with modesty speak in your own behalf; and thus far I confirm you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any friends, if we should ne’er have need of ’em? they were the most needless creatures living, should we ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble sweet instruments hung up in cases that keep their sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished myself poorer, that I might come nearer to you. We are born to do benefits: and what better or properer can we can our own than the riches of our friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis, to have so many, like brothers, commanding one another’s fortunes! O joy, e’en made away ere ’t can be born! Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks: to forget their faults, I drink to you.
Apemantus
Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.
Second Lord
Joy had the like conception in our eyes
And at that instant like a babe sprung up.
Apemantus
Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.
Third Lord
I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.
Apemantus
Much!
Tucket, within
Timon
What means that trump?
Enter a Servant
How now?
Servant
Please you, my lord, there are certain ladies most desirous of admittance.
Timon
Ladies! what are their wills?
Servant
There comes with them a forerunner, my lord, which bears that office, to signify their pleasures.
Timon
I pray, let them be admitted.
Enter Cupid
Cupid
Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all
That of his bounties taste! The five best senses
Acknowledge thee their patron; and come freely
To gratulate thy plenteous bosom: th’ ear,
Taste, touch and smell, pleased from thy tale rise;
They only now come but to feast thine eyes.
Timon
They’re welcome all; let ’em have kind admittance:
Music, make their welcome!
Exit Cupid
First Lord
You see, my lord, how ample you’re beloved.
Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing
Apemantus
Hoy-day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!
They dance! they are mad women.
Like madness is the glory of this life.
As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.
We make ourselves fools, to disport ourselves;
And spend our flatteries, to drink those men
Upon whose age we void it up again,
With poisonous spite and envy.
Who lives that’s not depraved or depraves?
Who dies, that bears not one spurn to their graves
Of their friends’ gift?
I should fear those that dance before me now
Would one day stamp upon me: ’t has been done;
Men shut their doors against a setting sun.
The Lords rise from table, with much adoring of Timon; and to show their loves, each singles out an Amazon, and all dance, men with women, a lofty strain or two to the hautboys, and cease
Timon
You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies,
Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,
Which was not half so beautiful and kind;
You have added worth unto ’t and lustre,
And entertain’d me with mine own device;
I am to thank you for ’t.
First Lady
My lord, you take us even at the best.
Apemantus
’Faith, for the worst is filthy; and would not hold taking, I doubt me.
Timon
Ladies, there is an idle banquet attends you:
Please you to dispose yourselves.
All Ladies
Most thankfully, my lord.
Exeunt Cupid and Ladies
Timon
Flavius.
Flavius
My lord?
Timon
The little casket bring me hither.
Flavius
Yes, my lord. More jewels yet!
There is no crossing him in ’s humour;
Aside
Else I should tell him,— well, i’ faith I should,
When all’s spent, he ’ld be cross’d then, an he could.
’Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,
That man might ne’er be wretched for his mind.
Exit
First Lord
Where be our men?
Servant
Here, my lord, in readiness.
Second Lord
Our horses!
Re-enter Flavius, with the casket
Timon
O my friends,
I have one word to say to you: look you, my good lord,
I must entreat you, honour me so much
As to advance this jewel; accept it and wear it,
Kind my lord.
First Lord
I am so far already in your gifts,—
All
So are we all.
Enter a Servant
Servant
My lord, there are certain nobles of the senate
Newly alighted, and come to visit you.
Timon
They are fairly welcome.
Flavius
I beseech your honour,
Vouchsafe me a word; it does concern you near.
Timon
Near! why then, another time I’ll hear thee:
I prithee, let’s be provided to show them entertainment.
Flavius
[Aside] I scarce know how.
Enter a Second Servant
Second Servant
May it please your honour, Lord Lucius,
Out of his free love, hath presented to you
Four milk-white horses, trapp’d in silver.
Timon
I shall accept them fairly; let the presents
Be worthily entertain’d.
Enter a third Servant
How now! what news?
Third Servant
Please you, my lord, that honourable gentleman, Lord Lucullus, entreats your company to-morrow to hunt with him, and has sent your honour two brace of greyhounds.
Timon
I’ll hunt with him; and let them be received,
Not without fair reward.
Flavius
[Aside] What will this come to?
He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,
And all out of an empty coffer:
Nor will he know his purse, or yield me this,
To show him what a beggar his heart is,
Being of no power to make his wishes good:
His promises fly so beyond his state
That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes
For every word: he is so kind that he now
Pays interest for ’t; his land’s put to their books.
Well, would I were gently put out of office
Before I were forced out!
Happier is he that has no friend to feed
Than such that do e’en enemies exceed.
I bleed inwardly for my lord.
Exit
Timon
You do yourselves
Much wrong, you bate too much of your own merits:
Here, my lord, a trifle of our love.
Second Lord
With more than common thanks I will receive it.
Third Lord
O, he’s the very soul of bounty!
Timon
And now I remember, my lord, you gave
Good words the other day of a bay courser
I rode on: it is yours, b
ecause you liked it.
Second Lord
O, I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that.
Timon
You may take my word, my lord; I know, no man
Can justly praise but what he does affect:
I weigh my friend’s affection with mine own;
I’ll tell you true. I’ll call to you.
All Lords
O, none so welcome.
Timon
I take all and your several visitations
So kind to heart, ’tis not enough to give;
Methinks, I could deal kingdoms to my friends,
And ne’er be weary. Alcibiades,
Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich;
It comes in charity to thee: for all thy living
Is ’mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast
Lie in a pitch’d field.
Alcibiades
Ay, defiled land, my lord.
First Lord
We are so virtuously bound —
Timon
And so
Am I to you.
Second Lord
So infinitely endear’d —
Timon
All to you. Lights, more lights!
First Lord
The best of happiness,
Honour and fortunes, keep with you, Lord Timon!
Timon
Ready for his friends.
Exeunt all but Apemantus and Timon
Apemantus
What a coil’s here!
Serving of becks and jutting-out of bums!
I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums
That are given for ’em. Friendship’s full of dregs:
Methinks, false hearts should never have sound legs,
Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on court’sies.
Timon
Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen, I would be good to thee.
Apemantus
No, I’ll nothing: for if I should be bribed too, there would be none left to rail upon thee, and then thou wouldst sin the faster. Thou givest so long, Timon, I fear me thou wilt give away thyself in paper shortly: what need these feasts, pomps and vain-glories?
Timon
Nay, an you begin to rail on society once, I am sworn not to give regard to you. Farewell; and come with better music.
Exit
Apemantus
So:
Thou wilt not hear me now; thou shalt not then:
I’ll lock thy heaven from thee.
O, that men’s ears should be
To counsel deaf, but not to flattery!
Exit
ACT II
SCENE I. A SENATOR’S HOUSE.
Enter Senator, with papers in his hand
Senator
And late, five thousand: to Varro and to Isidore
He owes nine thousand; besides my former sum,
Which makes it five and twenty. Still in motion
Of raging waste? It cannot hold; it will not.
If I want gold, steal but a beggar’s dog,
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