I give him a taste and back away, traveling down until I’m positioned to be able to fuck him. He brings his hands down and tries to touch me with both of them tied together. I slap them away and place them back over his head. “No. I make the rules.”
“You’re rules are cruel. Please.”
“Please what?”
“You know what I want.”
I rock over his stiff cock. “Say it louder.”
“I want to fuck you, Macy. I want so much more than I deserve. Please let me be with you.”
I slide off the bed, taking my candle with me. His pitched dick is staring me in the face, and even though I know he’s going to go crazy, I have to stay in control. He wants pain as much as pleasure and I’m going to take it a step further. The first drop of wax lands on the tip of his penis and he jumps. “Holy shit.”
I like the way it’s making me feel. I’ve never had this kind of power before, and now I understand what he sees in it.
The second drop hits the base of his shaft. It’s obvious the burn is excruciating at first. He’s pleading with me to stop, but I keep going, one more time. I take the candlestick and pour the remainder of the liquid wax onto the tip of his cock and watch as it dries. Then I blow out the flame and clean him off with my mouth. He’s moaning, while it spasms between my lips. I suck on it a few more seconds then back away to wait for a response.
He’s managed to loosen the sock and free his hands. Before I can back away he has a hold on me. I’m flipped over with little effort and staring up at the person who is prepared to punish me back. “You’re a cruel little thing aren’t you?”
I nod and reach for his hair in order to force him to kiss me. When we part he’s smiling. “Paybacks are a bitch.”
“Like you said earlier. Give it your best shot.”
He takes the same sock and binds my hands together. Then he uses the other to fasten my ankles. I’m turned over on my stomach and at his mercy. First I hear him lighting the match, and then moments later I feel the first drip of wax in the crack of my ass. Unlike me, he continues letting it pour out into a strand that runs up the small of my back. He sits on my butt and keeps at it until he’s reached my shoulders. Then, just like I’ve mentioned to him in the past, he places gentle kisses in that exact spot that sends me into a frenzy. I can feel tingles shooting directly to every limb and as the candlestick slides between the crack of my ass I’m beginning to lose it.
He teases me knowing I’m unable to fight. I’m fully aware what he’s about to do and say nothing as I feel it penetrating me. He pushes it in further until I cry out. “Holy Christ. Please.”
“Please what?” He requests.
“Fuck me with it.”
“I am.”
He’s still drilling the candlestick in my ass while I plead for something else. “Take me. Have your way with me.”
“I want that ass, Macy, and now I’m know I’m going to have it, because you can no longer fight me.”
He withdraws the candle and teases the hole with his much larger cock. Ben uses his strength to bring my knees up in order to have my ass in the air higher. He slaps me hard and then rubs it away. I’m still bound, breathless, and prepared for him to take what I want him to have. It’s in this moment where I know we’ve crossed that invisible line. I’ve stepped into his life, but he’s also come into mine. The second he enters me the pain whips through every limb. I scream out into the mattress as he rams me harder each time. The room spins and then I’m overwhelmed with pleasure. His fingers flick my clit as he continues to pound. I feel him tightening and everything in my body explodes.
Ben pulls out leaving me empty. He flips my frail body over and takes the sock from my ankles. He lifts my arms over his head and pulls me into his hold. For a second we kiss on the bed, but then he carries me into the bathroom where we shower to prepare for another round.
It’s not until later when the last bit of proof I need is provided. Ben is gentle, endearing, and most of all emotional. He holds me, kisses me a thousand times, and then makes love to me. Straight love. Nothing else. It’s smooth and precise. It’s genuine and powerful. It’s everything neither of us has ever experienced.
Chapter 22
Ben
There’s a moment in a person’s life where they wake up and wonder how things turned out the way they did. I’m at that crossroad. Macy is asleep in my arms and it’s exactly where I want her to be. We connect in a way I never thought was possible. She’s shown me the difference, when I was supposed to be teaching her. As I watch her sleep I consider what it would be like to have a real relationship with someone I consider my equal. She’s so strong and determined. She’s beautiful and intelligent. She’s everything I’d ever picture having in a woman. The only problem is that I know I’ll fuck up. Somewhere down the road I’ll be tempted, and though I can promise myself that it won’t happen, I can’t be sure.
Hurting her now makes me feel like a monster. She does something to me. She makes me see I can be better. I’ve always lived a certain way to keep from worrying about anyone else. I’ve detached myself from relationships because it was safer that way. I can’t be hurt when there isn’t anyone capable of doing it.
Her innocent face tells me it’s no longer the truth. I waited years to get her into my bed, not knowing she’d find a way to my heart instead.
Macy stirs before turning over to get more comfortable. I loosen my hold to allow her to adjust. Once she's resting on the opposite side of the bed I'm able to get up without waking her.
Quietly, I step out onto the balcony and peer down at the people walking around. The smell of coffee resonates from one of the shops below, and I can hardly wait to have a cup and introduce Macy to fresh Beignets. I enjoy showing her to new things, especially when I'm able to see her beautiful face light up with that memorable smile.
I want to serve her, to be at her beck and call so she returns the favor to me. Then I witness it; two people on the street below having an argument. The woman is smacking her hands into the man's chest accusing him of cheating with some barmaid. I'm sure this happens a lot in a city where drinking and partying occurs frequently, but it strikes a nerve. How long can this thing between Macy and I last? How long will it be before she gets tired of me? How long until I want more than she's able to give?
While I wait for her to wake I'm burdened by the reality of our situation. This won't work. It can't last.
I hear my name being called from inside and peer in through the blowing curtains. Macy is sitting up in bed wondering where I've gone. I make my way back to the bed to climb under the covers and join her. "Sorry, I was admiring the scenery."
"Anything interesting?"
"The view is much better in here." I kiss her while trying to tuck the ill thoughts from earlier out of my mind. I can't spoil this perfect getaway with Macy just because I'm screwed up in the head.
"I wish we didn't have to leave today."
"I'm the boss. We could stay another night if we wanted."
"We shouldn't. There's too much to do with the case, and I need to make sure we get this in before they set a trial date. I don't want the extra paperwork."
She's right. "I guess we better get moving then, especially if we're going to have breakfast before we meet with the witness," I suggest.
She runs her hand over my chest and leans against it. "Or we could skip breakfast and spend extra time in bed. I'm sure we could be productive."
I chuckle at her idea, because it's tempting. "As much as I'd like that, I want some coffee and pastries. When you taste one you'll thank me."
Macy peers into my eyes. She smiles and rests her forehead against mine. "I'm glad you came with me, Ben."
"Yeah, me too."
We shower and check out of the hotel before heading to breakfast. Macy develops a new love when she bites into her first warm Beignet. We sit and people watch while we finish our coffees and then head out to meet the witness.
After the depositio
n is recorded and the paperwork is signed, we take a cab to the airport to catch our flight. We're both quiet, but mostly because neither of us got much sleep. Once we're in the air, Macy leans on me and falls asleep while I remain awake trying to find a solution to my concerns regarding our complicated situation.
Duane picks us up when we land. We head to Macy's house first, and as I help carry her things inside I know exactly what has to be done.
She wraps her arms around me and pulls me close for a kiss. I don't deny her this, because I need it just as much as she does. When we part I take her in, the way she smells, how her skin tastes after we've had sex, the way she smiles when I walk into a room, but mostly how she makes me feel. I've never had this before, and as much as I'd like to say it will work, I know changing her isn't fair.
"I'll see you at the office," I say as I begin walking away.
"Yeah, I'll see you soon."
"I had a great time with you, Macy."
"Thanks again for everything, Ben."
When the car pulls away I stare at her front door. If things were different, if I could change...
There isn’t going to be an encounter with James on Friday, because I’m not going to call him. I won’t let Macy change for me. She’s perfect the way she is, and better without me in her life.
Chapter 23
Macy
It’s been a couple days since we got back from New Orleans and I can tell Ben is being distant. He says he’s busy, but I wonder if he’s just putting some space between us. Much like I am with his lifestyle, he seems to be struggling with mine. I know we’re trying to find common ground, but we’re set in our ways and it’s hard to change, especially when it’s down a path we’ve never ventured.
Tomorrow I’m to sleep with James while Ben watches. I’ve researched this type of thing on the internet and even read forums where couples have found this exciting, while some have said it ended their relationships. Since we’ve not put a label on what we are, I’m not very concerned this will make or break us. I’m more worried I won’t be able to perform with someone I know nothing about. To make sure I can handle it I’ve decided to reach out to someone who might be able to shed some light on what to expect, but it’s up to Ben to make it happen.
I sent him an email nearly twenty minutes ago, but he’s yet to reply. I keep refreshing my screen to see if something pops up, except I get nothing.
He barges in my door like he owns the place and stands at the opposite side of my desk with this serious look on his face. “Why do you want to talk to Lisa?”
“Girl talk. What’s up your ass today?”
“I’m dealing with some personal shit with my Dad. Look, I don’t know if Lisa is the right person to speak to.”
“Ben, I need to talk to someone I somewhat know. Just tell me where she teaches. Give me her number. I’ll find her myself.”
He pulls out a piece of paper with her name and information on it. “This better not bite me in the ass.”
Then I finally get it. “You think I’m going to tell her to back away, don’t you? You think I’m going to find out all the women you’re involved with and tell them you’re off limits, because I want you for myself? That’s what this is. You don’t trust me.”
“I never said that.”
“Have I asked you to be with only me?”
He shakes his head. “No, but you don’t need to say the words to tell me that’s what you want. You’ve made it known that’s what you want.”
I’m getting angry because he knows, but refuses to give me an inch. “I’m not stupid. I wouldn’t ruin your precious relationship with all your women. I know you’d only get angry and force me out of your life. You’d probably fire me while you’re at it.”
His jaw clenches and I can tell he’s irritated. “I wouldn’t. I can’t. You signed the papers.”
I correct him. “Yes you would. You threatened me a long time ago. You forget I know you better than they do. I know exactly what you’re capable of when you want something, and I’m also aware of how long you waited for me to come around. That tells me you’d go to extremes to punish me for hurting you. You’d make me miserable until I want to leave.”
He begins to laugh in this sick and demented manner. “That’s just it. You can’t hurt me if you’re just someone I fuck.”
He leaves the office without saying anything else. I’ve got to say, it rips a hole in my heart. I haven’t been doing this just for the sex. I want more with this man, and although I think he’s full of shit, it hurts to hear him say I mean nothing to him.
So I do what every woman in my position would do.
I storm right into his office and walk around his desk until I’m standing between his legs. My heart feels like it’s going to plummet out of my chest and my head is spinning around while I consider what I’m about to say. “How dare you? How dare you say something like that to me? I gave myself to you. I’m about to let your friend fuck me because I know you’ll find enjoyment in it. I’ve proven I can handle your lifestyle thus far and you’re going to treat me like all the others when I know that’s not how you feel. Like it or not, you care about me, Ben. You said I was different.”
“I said what you wanted to hear.”
I slap him right across the face. “Liar!”
He takes my wrist and holds it so I can’t hit him again. His teeth are gritting together as he speaks. “I wanted to fuck you, so I said whatever I had to in order for it to happen. Then I fucked you some more, and you spread your little seductive legs and let it happen. You might have taken a while to come around, but you were an easy lay, Macy. I thought since we worked together you’d be interested in my lifestyle, but I changed my mind. Walk away. We’re done here.” He drops my hand and turns away like I’m nothing at all.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks, and I can’t understand how this is happening. Just days ago we were in New Orleans. None of this makes sense. “Why? I want to know why you’re doing this. You told me you’d teach me to love myself, so tell me why you’re giving up.”
“I was wrong, okay? I made a mistake.”
I shove him so hard the chair moves. “No.” My head is shaking. “It’s something else. For a month you’ve been good to me. You’ve taken me places and we spent nights together. I slept in your arms. You were the one to ask me to stay. You invited me into your life.”
He’s running his hands over his face, but says nothing.
“Why are you pushing me away? Is it because I want to talk to Lisa? I only want advice on how to handle you watching me with James. I’m nervous. I wanted the opinion of a woman, that’s all.”
His eyes seem distant and agitated. “It’s not happening, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
My throat burns. I want to crawl in a hole and die. I’ve never felt so inadequate. “Why won’t you tell me the truth?”
He takes both of my wrists and forces me to look at him. I’m embarrassed I can’t keep it together. He’s obviously seeing that he’s way more to me than a few screws. Then I notice a familiar spark in his eyes. He’s fighting it, but I know it’s there. “Macy, I need you to walk away from this. I don’t want this life for you. You’re right. I enjoyed being with you. I liked throwing myself into something new and seeing how it felt, but I can’t pretend it’s right for me. You’re not the type of woman who should be used for someone else’s pleasure. This life isn’t for you.”
I want to tell him I can be what he wants, but I’m still unsure. I don’t think I can do it forever, so I simply take a step back and break his hold on me. “Fine. I guess it’s over then. I’ll just go back to pretending to hate you in order to get through the day.”
“Whatever you have to do.”
I wait until I’m at his door and about to exit. “I would have done it for you, Ben. I would have gone through with it for you.”
He nods as I leave, and I don’t expect him to come looking.
The next day on my lunch hour I’m sitting
across the room from my psychiatrist filling her in on everything I’ve gone through since my last visit. She knows I’ve been spending time with Ben and that we’ve been intimate, and I’ve even told her I’ve explored my sexuality more, but I have yet to discuss feelings. Today I think I need to, because I spent the entire night crying a river over Ben. “Why does this hurt so much?” I ask.
“It’s obvious. You’ve developed feelings for him. I have to tell you, Macy. I think it’s for the best. You don’t need to involve yourself with someone who seems self-centered. He’ll never change for you.”
I’m taken back by how fast she attacks the idea of me holding onto hope. “Why would you say that? You told me I should pursue this.”
“I’ve seen this type of relationship before. I think you made the right choice to see where it could go, but now you know it’s nothing you want to involve yourself in.”
Maybe she’s right. I just feel like she’s been burned by a man with similar qualities, or maybe she’s having a tough time at home and isn’t on her game. No matter what the case, she’s not helping me to feel better. “What if my feelings for him don’t go away?”
“He’s just a man, Macy. Don’t put Ben on such a pedestal.”
She called him Ben. It’s the first time she’s acknowledged his name, and although I’ve said it to her a dozen times it comes out like she knows him. Then I begin to wonder if she does. I was referred to her by others at my firm. Perhaps she knows exactly who the Ben is I’ve been talking about and she’s been biting her tongue until I wised up. “Excuse me, but do you know my Ben? Is he a patient of yours?”
“I have no idea who Ben is. I’m giving you general advice, Macy.”
For some reason I don’t believe her. I stand and grab my purse. “My mind is made up. I think I’m going to start over fresh somewhere else. Thank you for seeing me, but I won’t be needing your services any longer. You’re right. I don’t want Ben and he never deserved me.”
She stands with me. “Good for you.”
Bound (Seven Year Itch) Page 14