The Thing About Love... (The Thing About... #1)

by J. M. Raphaelle

  I need him to know that I am only his, that no one will ever mean more to me than him. I need him to know we're okay.

  No more regrets. No more doubts.

  He finally smiles, kisses me gently on the lips, and shifts, so only half his body is on top of me.

  "Get ready, baby," he says and burrows his face in the apex of my neck, kissing it, then my throat, my shoulder, my chest, until he reaches my breast, and settles on my nipple. He's suckling my right nipple, and his fingers are circling and pulling at the left one, making me moan.

  Holy shit!

  His mouth continues suckling, but his hand follows a downward path through the middle of my chest, stomach, and down my pelvis, until he finds his goal. He slips two fingers inside me and begins circling, thrusting, pressing slowly then fast again and again, torturing me deliciously.

  My hands are in his hair, holding on tightly, keeping him in place so he can have his filling of my breast. I moan louder and louder, between muffled cries of his name.

  My Jack is here, with me, touching me, savoring me, loving me. I've waited so long for this, to feel his fully naked body on mine, to have him in my bed making love to me.

  I'm in rapture.

  The feel of him, his exuberance, the intimacy of his mouth on my breast, the feel of his fingers invading me again is unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's my first time, my real first time being loved with this intensity, with this reverence, and with this kind of unrestrained love.

  And he's all mine!

  My body tenses, my legs tighten, and I explode screaming, "Ahh, Jack!"

  I'm breathing heavily, elated and satisfied he can love me so much.

  He gives me a quick respite, while he puts on a condom. He hovers above me and tenderly kisses my forehead, one cheek, then the other, the tip of my nose, and lastly, my lips.

  He looks into my eyes. "I'm going to have you now, baby. I'm going to make you mine. You hear me, mine. I'm going to bury myself deep inside you, so you can feel what you mean to me. And I'm never letting you go," he says, as he penetrates me in one quick, delicious thrust.

  He's inside me, where I've wanted him to be, where I've yearned for him to be for so long. I'm relishing every delicious inch of him.

  He's filling me, stretching me, claiming me.

  He feels divine, heavenly, hard, and tight inside of me. I feel his warm, labored breath on my neck, where he's buried his face.

  My legs are wrapped around his hips, my arms around his neck, and my fingers are digging into his back. He's thrusting, hard, fast, urgent, claiming me over and over.

  I'm holding on to him for dear life, sucking and biting his shoulder, trying to quiet my loud moans. He's going to have a vampire bite tomorrow, but I don't care. He's mine to bite if I want.

  He pulls me up so I'm straddling him. His mouth is on my nipple again. "Move for me, baby. Show me how much you want me," he commands, between suckles.

  "How much I love you, Jack, love you!" I correct him. "I'm yours!"

  I feel his smile on my breast.

  He grabs my hips and moves me to his rhythm. It's so deep and intense. I'm riding him fast, hard, deep, voraciously.

  My love, my Jack.

  "Ahh, mine," I moan. "I love you. Love me, baby, please. Don't ever stop loving me. I need you…mine," I mumble incoherently and suck on his shoulder again, hard, as the pleasure is racing throughout my entire body.

  "Yes, baby, always," he pulls at my hips harder, so I can feel him deeper inside me.

  "Mmm, you're so warm inside..." he moans. "Feel me, baby. Take me, hard," he commands. "This is what you do to me. I'm yours, Ellie. Yours!" he grunts.

  Hearing him is enough to bring me closer to the edge. We're both close, very close.

  I thrust my hips to push him deeper inside me, and I can't contain the swirl of emotions overtaking me. I come loudly screaming, "My Jack!"

  Happy, gratified tears roll down my face.

  With one more, heady push inside me he finds his own release. "Yours, baby!" he groans.

  He's still inside me, holding me in place. We look at each other, and he notices my tears. He gazes at me with inquiring eyes and wipes them with his thumb.

  "They're happy tears," I promise him.

  He smiles and kisses my forehead.

  We're breathing heavily, sated, and blissful in each other's arms.

  We've both wanted this for far too long, but there was always something in the way. We always found reasons not to make love. The timing wasn't right yet. There were too many fears, too many ghosts between us. I'm glad it happened now, when we truly belong to each other.

  CHAPTER 40

  HE'S ON HIS side facing me, our legs entangled, and his hand is playing with mine.

  He's studying me with apprehensive eyes.

  "I love you, Ellie," he reassures me.

  "I love you too."

  "I don't want to lose you. You are my everything. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. How could I? I don't have a future without you. You're my reason to be, to dream, to hope, to soar. I exist for you, Ellie. Please believe me," he implores.

  I'm staring at our fingers twist and turn, like they've done so many times, listening closely. I let him say what he's wanted to say from the moment he burst into the shower.

  "I'm sorry I said I didn't know if I love you. I lied. I was scared. Not of Mike or losing his friendship. I was scared you could never love me the way you loved him," he looks at me with longing.

  "But when you said those things about love, I knew you were right, but I had already fucked up so badly. And when you said goodbye, my world ended. I felt lost, adrift in a daze, because I had ripped out my own heart by letting you go. I realized I'd rather have you, even if you loved me half of what you loved him, than not have you at all. I felt like a fucking punk for not fighting for you, for not holding on to you. I don't think I've ever been in so much pain, Ellie. It was torture, baby."

  This is quite an apology and confession, if I've ever heard one.

  "Say something, please."

  "You have my heart, Jack," I gaze into his eyes. "You put it back together and strengthened it. You own it, and it's yours to do as you please. You can safeguard it, or you can rip it to pieces and cripple me for life. I'm at your mercy. Does that convince you?"

  "But you chose to leave. Would you have left him too?" he sulks.

  I sigh heavily.

  It worries me that he keeps bringing up Mike.

  "Please don't make any more comparisons," I kiss him and gaze into his expectant eyes. "My love for you is intoxicatingly blissful, it occupies even the most microscopic space in my heart," I sigh. "It's everything and more. Mike's love, or lack of, weakened me. Yours strengthens me. That's why I'm able to leave, because I love you, not because I don't. So please don't bring him up again."

  "You're still leaving, then?" he asks sadly.

  "Do I have a reason to stay?"

  "Yes, baby. Me, because I love you," he replies forcefully, like he needs to get his answer in before a deadline expires. "I want you to stay. I need you to stay and be mine, be my best friend, my girlfriend, my lover, my wife," he takes my hand and kisses it sweetly.

  His wife…Yes, I'd like to be his wife one day.

  "Am I expecting too much from you?" His eyes are guarded, waiting for my response.

  "No, you're not, Jack. But I also need to know you are mine, only mine!" The thought of him with those other women still hurts and vexes me.

  "You have my heart and soul, Ellie. Of course I'm only yours. I've always been yours, from the moment I first kissed you, maybe even before."

  He moves on top of me, hovering, propped up on his elbows. He kisses me softly on the lips again and again and smiles, that glorious smile that belongs only to me.

  "Now that that's settled," I giggle, "What made you come running over here?"

  "Marie," he grumbles, and turns on his side agai
n. I do the same, so we're facing each other.

  "Of course. What devilish deed did she do?" I run my fingers through his soft, wavy hair.

  "It's what she texted me," he quips. "She said you were moving in with Rob and his tall, hot, rich roommate, who was thrilled to meet you because you're just his type. And he had Rob's stamp of approval. The perfect guy for the perfect girl," he rolls his eyes, amused but annoyed at her audacity.

  "You know she was lying, right? There's no roommate," I grin, admiring his luscious lips twisting in ire.

  "Everything went dark when I read her text. I was pissed and scared. I knew I had to get you back. I got in my car, drove like a madman, stormed in here, and jumped in the shower."

  We're both laughing at Marie's antics, while Ricky Martin is singing "Perdido Sin Ti." I reach for him and hum the melody on his lips.

  "Mmm, perdido sin ti," he replies on my lips and eagerly proceeds to lick, suck and kiss every inch of my body, just like he promised.

  My skin is over sensitized, and now Chris Isaak is going on about "Wicked Game."

  Hmm, time to torture him…

  I push him on his back and straddle him.

  "My turn to be wicked…with my mouth," I warn him. I grind my hips against his erection, so he knows where I'm headed, and start my exploration down his body kissing, licking, sucking, and biting.

  "Holy fuck!" he groans.

  CHAPTER 41

  I WAKE UP to Jack spooning me, one of his hands on my boob.

  Even asleep he loves them.

  I turn slowly to face him, careful not to wake him. There's a trace of a smile on his lips. My heart swells with joy.

  Damn, he's beautiful, and he's mine…finally.

  I want him again, but we've barely slept all night, and my limbs are aching from all the exertion. I slip out of bed carefully, and put on my PJs. I grab his boxers and jeans from the floor. They're still quite damp. I empty his pockets, so I can put them in the dryer, and he'll have something to wear when he wakes up.

  Crap, his iPhone is in his back pocket — that's a goner!

  I pick up his shirt and socks from the bathroom and head to the kitchen to grab something to drink.

  Marie's sitting at the table having breakfast.

  "Good morning," she says, not even trying to hide her devilish grin.

  "I'm just getting some orange juice," I smile at her, "and putting these in the dryer." I show her his clothes.

  Why do I feel so shy?

  She clearly knows what was going on. She instigated the entire thing, so he'd come running over.

  I'll have to thank her later.

  "Rough night, huh?" she teases.

  "You could say that."

  I can't look at her. Our bedrooms are wall-to-wall, and I'm sure she heard every moan, groan, and scream.

  "Thanks for the soundtrack," I walk to the dryer, place his clothes inside, and turn it on.

  "You're welcome," she mocks. "I figured I should muffle the noises, if I wanted to sleep."

  "Did you?" I ask, as I'm making my way to the fridge to grab the juice.

  "A bit," she puns.

  I'm mortified.

  I'm glad the orange juice is at the back of the fridge, so I can hide behind the door for a second longer. I'm kidding myself. She's is still there, teasing me with her mocking grin. She must've heard everything.

  "I didn't hear anything," she puts me out of my misery. "Aside from blasting the music near our mutual wall, I had my headphones on, listening to my own playlist."

  "Oh," I twist my mouth relieved.

  "I just heard, 'Jack!'" she screams, laughing.

  "What!" I laugh too, because the neighbors down the street probably heard me as well, music or not.

  ●●●

  I sit with her and catch up, until Jack's clothes are dry, but I don't eat, despite her offer to make pancakes. I want to wait for Jack.

  The dryer buzzes. I take the clothes out, grab the glass of orange juice, and head back to my bedroom. Marie follows me.

  When I open the door, I see Jack's awake with his back resting on the headboard, his arms crossed. He looks beautiful but worried.

  He grins when he sees me, and before I walk in, I catch Marie asking me quietly, "Is he awake?"

  I nod yes.

  "Good morning, Jack!" she screams. "You're welcome, Jack!"

  He laughs at her outburst.

  I walk in and close the door behind me. He's pensive, and it frightens me. I place his clothes on top of the dresser, crawl back in the bed, and kiss him gently on the lips.

  "What's wrong?" I ask. We had such an amazing night. I hope he's not having doubts again.

  "Your iPhone is soaked," I inform him and point at the nightstand.

  "Yea, I didn't think about that one," he replies distracted.

  "Is that why you're so worried?"

  "Ellie, I'd destroy a million iPhones for you. Come here," he reaches for me.

  I move closer to him and hand him the glass of orange juice. He takes a drink, places the glass on the nightstand, pulls me until I'm leaning against him, and embraces me.

  "If you want to go to New York, you should go," his lips are against my hair.

  "What!" I look at him perturbed and frightened at what he's implying.

  "It's not what you think, baby," he regards me. "I don't want to hold you back. If New York is where you can reach your career goals, we can do the long distance thing, until I can move there with you."

  "No, Jack, no! It won't work!" I reply distressed and alarmed.

  "I'm not Mike, Ellie."

  I narrow my eyes at him, as soon as he says it.

  "What I mean is we will make it. I will move to New York with you in time. I just need a couple of months to settle my businesses here," he explains.

  "Please don't bring him up again. And no, I'm not going!"

  "Ellie, I promise…"

  I put one finger on his lips to quiet him, so I can finish what I have to say.

  "My boss would actually prefer that I stay. She was being very accommodating about the move to New York, but I'm sure she'll be thrilled when I give her the good news that I'm staying. She has been dropping hints here and there about making LA my base. Believe me, she'll have no problem with the change, and my career won't suffer. I promise."

  "Are you sure?" he frowns, examining me.

  "Yes, believe me. I will be saving them a lot of money by staying in LA. Plus, I wouldn't go now anyway," I smile and kiss him. "But seriously, it's all good."

  "Okay, good," he smiles and hugs me tighter. "God, I love you, Ellie. I'm one fortunate SOB."

  I kiss him again. I want to jump him right this second, but he still looks anxious. I undo his embrace and straddle him. I need to look at him in the eyes to figure out what's going through his mind.

  "What else is troubling you?" I ask concerned.

  "I know you don't want to hear the name, but I have to talk to Mike about us immediately," he says softly.

  "No, no, no! I don't know what he's going to say to you or what it will do to us. I'll talk to him."

  "Fuck no! No, you hear me, no! You're not going near him. You're mine!" he says starkly and pulls at my hips.

  "That's for sure," I roll my eyes and kiss him. "But what if he says something that makes you change your mind about us again?"

  My hands are twisting on his chest. I just want to end this conversation and make love to him. But I sense he's not going to give up this crazy idea.

  "That shit is over and done, Ellie. I'm not afraid of him or losing his friendship. I was scared your love for me wasn't as strong as what you once felt for him. That's in the past and buried, baby. I know we love each other in equal measure. My love for you is boundless. You and I were meant to be. We were written in the heavens, and there's nothing anyone could have done to keep us apart. You. Are. My. Life!"

  Hearing him say that is my nirvana
, my heaven on earth!

  CHAPTER 42

  I'M NOT CONVINCED a conversation with Mike is the best idea right now.

  We spend the next half hour going back and forth on why he should or shouldn't talk to Mike. When I offer to talk to Mike again, he immediately shuts me down.

  I can stand up to Mike. Nothing he says will change my love for Jack.

  Meeting Jack was a fortunate accident, and falling for each other was meant to be, but neither of us went looking for it. If I know Mike, and I know him well, he'll think I somehow concocted this entire thing just to piss him off, to get back at him.

  Wouldn't that have been the sweetest revenge?

  He would have deserved it, too.

  He didn't see how devastated I was, how lost I was, and how I spent weekend after weekend in bed crying for him and feeling sorry for myself.

  I had no expectations with Jack. How could I? I had nothing to offer. I was a mess of tortured emotions, a broken girl that no one could ever find remotely attractive. My joyful spirit was gone. Yet somehow, Jack saw something in me, and he stayed, and he cared, and he was there for me. I came back to life because of him.

  If Mike disrupts that, he will answer to me!

  For Jack's peace of mind, I accept his request, but he knows I'm worried.

  "I hate that you feel you have to do this now. I will agree, but swear to me you don't have any reservations about us, and promise that no matter what he says, you'll come back to me," I beg.

  He doesn't respond. He just smiles and moves me from his lap, gets out of bed, and puts on his jeans in a hurry.

  He looks so damn yummy slipping on those jeans without his boxers. I'm gawking at him, imagining all the lustful, sexy things I want to do with him.

  He's smirking, thoroughly enjoying that I'm drinking him in with my eyes.

  "Marie!" he shouts, zipping up his jeans.

  She's in my room in two seconds, eyes wide.

  "Sup?" she asks, as she walks in.

  "Grab that pink hair ribbon and come here, please," he points to the dresser.

  I smile, because that's not a hair ribbon. It was wrapped around the Christmas present my mom sent me.