How Spy I Am

by Diane Henders

  Stemp levelled a penetrating gaze at me. “Did you discover what Cartwright was trying to force you to do?”

  “No.” I gnawed my bottom lip in chagrin. “If I’d known it was him, I wouldn’t have killed him.”

  “If an unknown force was trying to control you, destroying it was the right decision at the time,” Stemp said. “What else do you have to report?”

  “Um.” I sat up a little straighter, feeling obscurely comforted. “The motel bomb may not have been intended for Kane after all, but I still think he needs to be on guard.”

  “And…”

  “And that’s all I can tell you at the moment.”

  Stemp’s impassive gaze betrayed none of the frustration I was sure he was feeling. “Very well. Dismissed.”

  “One more thing,” Kane said. “We need to stay here tonight. And both Aydan’s and my house need to be searched for bombs.”

  Stemp was already nodding when I spoke. “Can we stay in the bunker under Kane’s office instead?”

  Stemp gave me a long stare. “Why?”

  “Um…” I cast about for an excuse. “I have a pretty strong claustrophobic reaction to the secured area here because of the time delay chamber. I’d be a lot happier in the bunker.”

  He held me with his eyes a few moments longer. “Very well.”

  Later, as we stepped into the bright work area hidden below the basement of the small converted house, Kane shot me a look. “Why did you really want to be down here? It’s not really because of the time delay, is it?”

  “That time delay completely freaks me out. You know that.”

  “You were telling a truth, not necessarily the truth.”

  “And the beds are more comfortable here. I’d rather sleep in a bunkroom than a jail cell.”

  “Another truth.”

  I couldn’t tell him it was because Kasper had access to the secured area at Sirius and I didn’t trust him not to murder us in our beds. I sighed and dragged my suitcase off to the small bathroom, determinedly ignoring the fact that I was underground.

  I could get out whenever I wanted. I knew where all the exits were. Not trapped. Stay calm.

  I was brushing my teeth when the next logistical problem occurred to me. I spat toothpaste and stuck my head out the door.

  “John?”

  “Yes?” His voice drifted from the work area.

  “Do you still have spare T-shirts here?”

  He came around the corner, frowning. “Yes.”

  “May I borrow one? I don’t have…” I trailed off. He already knew I didn’t own night clothes. I could wear one of my own T-shirts, but they were short and my underwear wasn’t exactly modest. With surveillance cameras everywhere, some coverage seemed warranted.

  “Oh.” He hesitated. “Of course.” A minute or two later, I answered his tap on the door to accept the neatly folded black T-shirt.

  I was draped in his big shirts and padding barefoot toward the work area when Kane strode around the corner and nearly ran into me.

  I stumbled back, and his hand shot out to steady me. His touch started a warm ripple under my skin, and his gaze flicked down my bare legs before meeting my eyes again. We regarded each other silently for a moment.

  “Just like old times,” he said at last. His velvety baritone tickled my ears, and the warmth spread.

  “Yeah.” I cleared the huskiness from my throat. “Um… which cameras are active?”

  “All except the ones in the bunkroom.”

  “Okay…”

  I closed my eyes briefly, resisting the magnetic pull of his muscular body. A vivid memory of our bodies molded together made me suck in a shaky breath.

  “Good night.” I turned and headed for the bunkroom.

  Sleep eluded me for a long time while I wrestled with desperate and improbable ideas about how to fix Betty’s memories. At last, I settled on a plan that might work. If I could get Sam to help me…

  I woke disoriented. I had closed the door earlier, but it stood open now and the light from the corridor fell across the bunk where I lay. The bed on the other side of the small room was empty, the covers of the lower bunk rumpled.

  After a moment I identified a weight across my waist as Kane’s arm, and I peered at him, bewildered.

  He sat on the floor beside my bed, his upper body slumped on the mattress beside me, his head pillowed on one arm while his other arm lay loosely over me. He was shirtless, his massive shoulders rising and falling in the slow rhythm of sleep. Deep bruises shadowed his right side, cuts and scratches carved dark against the discoloured flesh.

  Awake, he seemed so indestructible. Watching him in unguarded slumber, I suddenly realized how much pain he must have been hiding. My hand reached to caress his hair before I could stop it and he woke instantly, tensing at my touch.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered. “What are you doing on the floor?”

  He straightened slowly, and I could imagine how his abused muscles were protesting. “You kept having nightmares. It was easier to just stay here.”

  “I’m sorry.” I traced his cheek with my fingertips. “Go back to bed. Get some sleep. I’ll sit up for a while.”

  “You need the sleep more than I do.”

  I swung my legs out and pulled him onto the bed, his skin cold under my hands. “You’re freezing. And you have to be hurting after being all cramped up like that. Lie down.”

  I vacated the narrow bed and pushed him down on the still-warm mattress despite his protests. “Sleep. That’s an order.” I tucked the blankets around him.

  He smiled up at me, his eyelids already drooping with endearing drowsiness. “Yes, ma’am.”

  My eyes flew open, catching Kane on his way by in the corridor outside.

  “Wait!”

  He paused, and I took in the fact that he was already shaved and wearing fresh clothes, his hair gleaming wet. “Shit, what time is it?” I was scrambling out of bed before he answered.

  “Seven-thirty.”

  “Oh. Good. I was afraid I’d overslept. I want to get into the network as soon as possible.”

  He nodded. “I was just going to grab you some breakfast. I’ll be back by the time you finish your shower.”

  “Hang on,” I snapped as he turned away. “Wait for me. I don’t want you unprotected.”

  He turned back to face me, amusement tugging at his lips. “I’ve managed to survive a few ops all by myself. I’m pretty sure I can make it to the Melted Spoon for a bagel.”

  “And that’s exactly the attitude that will get you killed. Some stupid little errand, and you let down your guard…”

  He sighed, sobering. “I didn’t mean to imply I was taking it lightly. I meant I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I’m still alive because I don’t make stupid mistakes like getting careless over a trivial errand. Believe me, I’ll be watching my back.”

  I blew out a sigh of my own, reminding myself how ridiculous it was to think a top agent like Kane would need a dumb civilian like me to protect him. He’d probably be safer without me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to criticize. I know how good you are.” I bit my tongue, feeling a warm flush rising in my cheeks. “That didn’t come out quite right.”

  His lips curved up, irresistible laugh lines crinkling. “I’ll take the compliment anyway. Back soon.”

  I resisted the impulse to copy Lurene and fan myself as he turned and disappeared down the hallway.

  Chapter 40

  Later, perched on the edge of the sofa in my office at Sirius Dynamics, I surreptitiously eyed Kasper’s morose expression and wondered whose side he was on. Spider and Jack murmured in the corner, their heads together over Spider’s laptop.

  Stemp paused in the corridor to lean into the doorway. “Have you heard from Dr. Kraus?”

  “No.” I bit down on my guilty urge to over-explain. “Why?”

  “I expected him this morning. He hasn’t arrived, he didn’t check in for his flight last night, and he’s no
t answering his phone.”

  I didn’t try to hide my worry. “I hope he’s okay. If I hear from him, I’ll let you know.”

  Stemp gave me a nod and continued down the hall, leaving Jack and Spider looking as concerned as I felt. When Kane arrived moments later bearing the network key, I blurted, “Sam has disappeared.”

  His brows snapped together. “Do you think this is related to the strangeness in the network you found yesterday?”

  “I don’t know.” I pressed my lips shut to prevent any further comments from leaking out.

  Dammit, I needed Sam to help me with Betty. She’d still been catatonic when I’d dropped in to see her on the way to the office, but I didn’t know how long she’d stay that way. If Sam was that scared of the evil knight, why the hell didn’t he just come back to Sirius and lock himself safely in the secured area?

  Unless the secured area wasn’t safe for him for some reason…

  Another sidelong glance at Kasper revealed nothing. If Robert was the murderous Knight and Kasper was feeding him information, he was hiding his guilt well.

  “What are we doing today?” Spider’s question interrupted my uneasy rumination. “Stemp said you’d brief us.”

  “Oh.” I gathered my thoughts for a moment, trying to decide what I could safely tell everybody. I blew out a long breath. “There’s not really going to be much for you to do except monitor me, so it’ll be pretty boring. I’m going to poke around in the network. I think… I think I’ll try to get into the secured network in Macon. I really needed more time there. There was something strange about it, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”

  “Maybe it was just because you were using one of their fobs,” Spider suggested. “That might change things.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  Settled inside the virtual file room, Kane gave my hand a squeeze, and I stretched into the data stream.

  Sending my invisible feelers far and wide, I searched for research papers containing Sam Kraus, Terry Sherman, and Bert Cartwright, hoping to find something they’d written that might contain the names of the other Knights as contributors.

  Sam had been a prolific writer. And he’d had lots of different research partners.

  I tried to remember the list of names, but to no avail. I couldn’t retain all the information I’d discovered, Sam’s babblings, Kasper’s oblique references, and all the names as well.

  Floating in the eddies of data, I was stewing in frustration when I had an idea that was so simple and obvious, I would have laughed out loud if I’d had a mouth.

  Jeez, play to your strengths.

  Easing through the firewall of a nearby server, I created a file and happily went to work recording every single thing I knew or suspected about Robert and the Knights. Nobody would ever know the file was there, and even if the owners of the server did discover it, I’d encrypted it so they couldn’t read it. Thank God for my sneaky network key.

  I was finishing up when I realized the sensation that had been nagging at the corner of my attention was actually my distant connection to Kane. I curled my consciousness around my new file, checking it for security one last time, and then followed Kane’s tugging back to the Sirius network.

  When I re-materialized, Kane relaxed visibly. “I thought I’d lost you. I could barely feel your hand anymore.”

  “Sorry, I was really absorbed. Did you want something?”

  “No, but you usually take a break every couple of hours, and it’s been nearly three hours since you went in.”

  “Oh. Lunch time, then. Thanks.”

  Back in the real world, I gobbled a sandwich at the Melted Spoon and was hurrying back along the sidewalk toward Sirius Dynamics when Kasper fell into step beside me.

  “Any contact?” he muttered.

  I refrained from inhaling and casually moved upwind. “No. You?”

  “No.” He gave me dark look and strode on ahead.

  When everyone reassembled in my office after lunch, I surveyed the ring of expectant faces.

  “I’m going to see if I can get into Macon’s network this afternoon,” I told them. “Jack, if you can watch the monitors, that would be great. I don’t expect any ghosts, but you never know.”

  She nodded, her gaze already riveted on her case while her slender fingers tweaked the controls.

  “Um, Aydan…” Spider’s tentative voice stopped me as I was about to step into the virtual network.

  “What is it, Spider?”

  “The Macon facility is secured, right?”

  “Yeah. Sam said it was a counterpart to Sirius.”

  “Have you ever breached that kind of security before?”

  “I don’t know.” I frowned at him, feeling the first quiver of misgiving. “Do you think it’ll be a problem?”

  “I don’t know. Their security might be better than anything you’ve tried before. Fuzzy Bunny’s security is good, but it’s probably nowhere near as good as Macon.”

  “What do you think might happen?”

  “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “You just might not be able to get in.”

  “But if I did, do you think I’d be visible?”

  “I… doubt it…” Spider shot a questioning glance at Kasper. “What do you think?”

  “You’re the hacker. I’m just a developer.”

  “But…” Spider frowned. “You developed all the security and authentication protocols for the Sirius network. I need your professional opinion.”

  Kasper sniffed. “Ms. Kelly breezed through my security as if it wasn’t even there.”

  “No, she didn’t,” Spider argued, looking perplexed at Smith’s recalcitrance. “She just accessed it internally. Her network key spoofs a valid user. She didn’t hack through your external firewalls.”

  “Then I haven’t a clue,” Kasper said.

  We all frowned at him, and he twitched his shoulders irritably. “I have no way of knowing,” he snapped. “I’d only be guessing.”

  “Then guess.” Kane’s intonation included an unspoken, ‘Or else.’

  “Fine.” Smith crossed his arms and glared. “My wild guess is that you’ll be stopped by a security server inside the DMZ.”

  “Um…” I eyed Spider, hoping for a translation.

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” he said solemnly.

  “Will that harm Aydan?” Kane demanded.

  “No, I doubt it,” Spider replied. “She’ll just get turned away because that type of server only responds to very limited types of data requests.”

  “But if I get in, will I be visible?”

  “I don’t think you’ll get in,” Smith said.

  “But if I do…”

  “In the unlikely event that you do, you probably won’t be visible,” he replied grudgingly.

  “Fine. Then let’s just try it. There’s no downside, right?” I appealed to Spider.

  “I… guess not…”

  With that dubious reassurance, I blew out an impatient breath and stepped into virtual reality.

  Seated once more in the virtual file room, Kane gave my hand a squeeze. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks.” I faded into invisibility.

  I found the Macon location without too much difficulty. The data stream buffeted me gently while I hovered outside, sizing it up. It didn’t seem any different than any other server or firewall. I gave a mental shrug and eased into it.

  The benign data stream morphed into a vicious riptide, and my consciousness tumbled helplessly. Around and around, slamming into the server only to be repelled and dragged under again, I spun with dizzying speed, panic building. I couldn’t even identify back or forward. Which way was retreat?

  Utterly disoriented, I flung my consciousness in all directions, visualizing a spiderweb with sticky anchors at each nexus. Some of my anchors connected with the data tunnel, and I dragged myself out of the vortex, my data packets quivering with the terrified pounding of a heart I didn’t even possess. Floating in the data stream,
I willed calm, waiting for the shock to subside. At last, I collected myself and turned for home.

  It was gone.

  Chapter 41

  Panic suffused me. Not even a trace of my connection to Kane remained. No scattered remnants of myself to follow back to Sirius.

  Oh, God, what if the connection had ended somehow? What if the Sirius network had gone down, and my consciousness was trapped here forever?

  Trapped in endless data tunnels…

  The tunnel imagery induced a rush of claustrophobic terror. I tried to breathe through the panic attack, but my lungless self couldn’t draw a breath.

  Suffocating!

  White blindness descended while my hysterical consciousness churned the data stream into a maelstrom of unconnected bits.

  Unmeasurable time later, slow thought penetrated my terror. I was only data, electrical impulses held together by my own consciousness. Data doesn’t need to breathe.

  I slowed my struggle, and the data stream around me resumed its course like a muddied brook running clear again.

  Stay calm. There had to be a way back. I’d found Macon without any markers. Surely I could find Sirius.

  I cast careful feelers out.

  Nothing.

  Stay calm. There had to be a way.

  I extended my quivering consciousness farther. Soon I’d find something familiar. Soon I’d find my way home.

  Still nothing.

  Panic swooped in again. I was fighting it with grim desperation when the first faint echo called my name.

  Aydan Kelly.

  I snapped my virtual self into focus, diving after the data packet.

  Aydan Kelly.

  More packets from the same direction.

  Aydan Kelly.

  Glorious realization flooded me. Spider was doing web searches. Calling me home.

  I gobbled up the packets and followed the trail.

  When I burst into Sirius’s virtual file room at last, I flung myself at Kane’s avatar, clinging to him desperately and completely heedless of our audience.

  “Aydan, thank God!” His arms closed tightly around me. “Come on.” He hustled me to the network portal and we stepped through together.