Clover

by Cole, Braxton

  “Yes.” She nodded.

  “And what did you say?”

  “I told him no.” She’d actually said a lot more than that, but her dad didn’t need to know that she’d told Vince to fuck off.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Are you serious? I can’t run to you every time some jerk propositions me.” Her dad couldn’t be naïve enough to think that this was the first time it had happened.

  “I wish you would.”

  “Why? So you can worry about something that you can’t change? Some guys are just jerks, Dad. There’s nothing you can do about that.”

  “I can make sure they think twice about being inappropriate with my baby.”

  “And then no one ever takes me seriously in the workplace again.”

  Her dad sighed and his shoulders dropped. “You can’t just ignore stuff like that.”

  “I don’t. I can take care of myself.” She sounded foolish saying that, especially considering what had happened with Vince earlier that day. “At least I normally can.”

  “What else happened with Vince?”

  “Do you remember the day I was late? When my car broke down?” She waited for her dad to nod before she continued. “He decided then that I owed him. Today, he tried to collect.”

  “Damn it.” Her dad clenched his jaw and hit the desk. Then he took a deep breath and said, “Go on.” Clover could hear the struggle to be calm in his voice.

  “My shift was over and he cornered me on my way back into the building. He said some nasty things.” She held up her hand. “Before you ask what, I don’t even remember. It’s all a blur. Then Vince grabbed my arm. Here.” She showed him the spot just above her elbow. The blotchy redness had almost faded completely. “The next thing I knew, Vince was on the ground and Jake was holding me.”

  A flash of pride went across her dad’s face. He’d known Jake for a long time and had always shown an interest in him, starting that first year. He’d sent Clover and R.J. over to say hi, then made sure they’d known when he arrived every year after that.

  “I knew I liked that kid.” Her dad smiled, but it was small and tight. “Did he hit him?” He looked like he really wanted the answer to be yes.

  Clover had no idea how Vince ended up on the ground, but she hadn’t seen Jake hit him. “I don’t think so. I think he just pushed him away.”

  Her dad looked disappointed for a second, then the pride took over again. “I’m glad to hear that. Couldn’t have been easy. Especially for him.”

  “I’m going to do a whole lot more than just hit him.” Brandon spoke from the doorway. He stood there with his arms folded over his chest and his jaw clenched tight. His voice was low and menacing. Clover hadn’t heard when he joined them. He could be super stealthy some times.

  “Don’t do anything rash.” Her dad didn’t sound like he actually meant to dissuade Brandon.

  “I’m just going to introduce the man to my baler, that’s all.” Brandon turned and left without waiting for further input. His words chilled Clover. The baler was a big, scary piece of equipment that claimed plenty of farmers due to accidents. Vince would not survive if Brandon threw him into it. The only thing that could do more damage was the harvester. Clover had never seen Brandon that angry. He was good natured and made a practice of thinking before acting. This version of Brandon was foreign and frightening.

  Clover waited until she heard the front door close, followed by Brandon’s truck starting up. Her dad made no move to follow. “You’re not going to stop him?”

  “He’ll calm down before he gets there,” he said, although he didn’t sound convinced.

  “Are you sure?”

  Her dad looked at her levelly. “No. I’m not sure. I hope he’s still mad as hell when he finds Vince. I hope he makes him regret ever looking at you.”

  “You’re scaring me.”

  Her dad sighed. “He won’t put him through the baler. Brandon would never do something like that. But that doesn’t mean he won’t have a conversation with Vince. Brandon can be very persuasive when he wants to be.”

  “Dad?”

  He leaned forward. “Listen, I’m a numbers guy. I can make sure he loses his job, but a guy like that? It won’t matter. He doesn’t have anything else to take. If he does, I’ll find it and strip him of it. But that’s not enough. He scared you, Clover. He would have done a lot more if Jake hadn’t been there. He deserves to bleed for that. Jake was there when you needed him, but that kind of violence, or even just the threat of it, takes a toll on a young man like Jake. It says a lot about him that he didn’t hit Vince when he found the two of you together.”

  “What do you mean?” Clover’s head swam. She’d never imagined her dad as one to seek vengeance. Or Brandon. They were both loving and kind to her. Their need to strike out, be it with financial or physical force, surprised Clover. Still, she found it all understandable. Sort of. But the comment about Jake was out of left field. She had no idea what her dad was implying.

  “Jake hasn’t had the best life. His parents have been pretty hard on him.”

  She’d figured that much out when they were kids. Who sends their seven-year-old boy away for three months at a time? The seriousness in her dad’s voice made her feel like there was more that she didn’t know about, though. “Remember how you told me to speak plainly?”

  He sighed. “It’s not my story to tell, Clover.”

  She stared at him without responding.

  “Look, have you ever noticed how rough he looks when he shows up? And how his eyes get clearer the longer he’s here? And how the biggest bruises have all faded by the time he heads back home?”

  Clover nodded. She had noticed all that, but she’d never put it together in quite that manner. The sick feeling in her stomach had almost disappeared, but her dad’s questions brought it back stronger than ever. “His dad hits him?”

  “I don’t know that for sure.”

  “But you think it.”

  “We reported it to the authorities. Their investigation came up empty.”

  Clover didn’t like her dad’s non-answer. She asked the question a second time. “But you think it?”

  He nodded. “I do. And for a young man with his history to not resort to violence when things get difficult? That’s something to be proud of. I like Jake, Clover. But you need to know what you’re getting in to.”

  There were a lot of differences between her and Jake. When they were kids, the only ones she saw were the fact that he was a boy, three years younger, and that he didn’t live here year round. That had been enough. She’d spent a lot of summers with him simply because it was expected, but she’d never allowed herself to get attached. Now, she was irrevocably connected. There was no way she could extract herself from Jake. Not without breaking her own heart in the process. Her love for him, whether she was able to say it loud or not, made those differences shine all the brighter. His family was poor. That added up to a lot of little things, like a beat up truck and community college. She didn’t know how her new insight about his parents would factor into her thinking, but she didn’t see it as a flaw in Jake. It just made her want to hug him and promise that she’d never, ever hurt him.

  The look on her dad’s face told her that she’d missed the point.

  “What do you mean? What am I getting in to?”

  “If Jake has been abused, which I strongly suspect, then the odds are very high that he will repeat that cycle. I’d rather he not repeat it with you.”

  Clover shook her head. The thought of Jake ever raising a hand to her in violence…she couldn’t even fathom it. “Jake would never. He couldn’t.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “I know I am.” Clover didn’t have even the slightest doubts. If Jake had violent tendencies, she would have seen them before today.

  “Okay.” Her dad nodded. “I’ll trust you to come to me if that changes.”

  Clover’s eyes stung. She’d made it through the conve
rsation about Vince without crying, but the thought of Jake hurting her flooded her with emotion. It was too much to conceive of, and that her dad was so resolved to it as truth, hurt even more. She needed to change the subject. “I’m not going back to the pool. I’m done there.”

  “Of course. I’m sorry I ever made you take that job in the first place. You could have been working for me this entire time. I just wanted you to have one last summer. Do you understand?”

  Clover nodded. “I think so. But why not let me go with Lexy?”

  “I thought you’d be safer here.”

  The irony of his statement wasn’t lost on Clover. Her dad had brought her home to the one place he’d always trusted to be safe. Unfortunately, that just wasn’t the case this time.

  “I need to call the city. Let them know that I’m not going to finish the summer at the pool.” Just like every other time in her life, Clover found that focusing on the details, her to-do list, made things a little easier. If she dwelled too long on why she couldn’t go back, then she’d get caught up in all the negative emotions that went with that. If she focused on ticking items off a list, she could avoid the entanglements.

  “Let me do that.” Her dad reached for the phone.

  “No. I’m a big girl. This is mine to do. You can call whoever you want to after I’ve had a chance to explain myself.” She stood. She’d rather have the conversation on her cell phone, away from her dad’s office.

  He nodded once in agreement and set down his phone. “Are you going to see Jake later tonight?”

  “I don’t know.” She hadn’t even thought about it. She was exhausted. As much as she wanted to see Jake, she wanted a nap even more. “Maybe.”

  “Tell him thanks for me. And let him know that I’d still like to talk to him.”

  Clover didn’t have the energy to ask what that was about. She left her dad’s office and headed to her own room. She had one phone call to make, then she could finally let herself rest.

  Chapter 36

  Two Years Ago

  Clover adjusted her collar again. It just wouldn’t lay straight no matter what she did.

  “Screw it.” She slid the shirt off and pulled on a tank top. Teddy had seen her in worse, so why was she stressing about it now? She evaluated herself one last time in the mirror and called it good.

  Teddy would be here any minute, so she headed into the living room. Her dad, R.J., and Brandon were all there, waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. They were not a very welcoming sight.

  “You promised you’d be nice.”

  Her dad nodded. “And we will.”

  “I can be nice while I clean my guns,” Brandon said. It was absurd. The only gun he owned was a twenty-two rifle that had been his grandfather’s. Clover wasn’t even sure it worked.

  “Teddy is a stupid name.”

  “R.J., that’s enough.” Her dad intervened before Clover could smack her brother.

  “Well it is. The two of you promised to be nice. I didn’t. I don’t even want to be here.”

  Clover didn’t understand why R.J. was so resistant about meeting her boyfriend. She was twenty-years-old, well past the prime age for bringing home her first boyfriend. “Don’t do this.”

  R.J. puffed himself up and folded his arms over his chest. “Why not? You’re my sister. I’m not supposed to like your boyfriend. I’m supposed to threaten him and make sure he treats you well.”

  Clover really tried not to laugh, but she just couldn’t hold herself back. “He’s twice your size.”

  “Is he twice mine?” Brandon stood next to R.J. and mirrored his pose.

  Clover threw up her arms in frustration. “Dad? Make them stop. You guys are being ridiculous.”

  She wondered how they would feel if they knew she’d abandoned the virtue they seemed so bent to protect months ago. She’d met Teddy in September, right after school started. Since then, she’d spent more time sleeping at his apartment than at her own. She didn’t think she was in love with him, but he was a nice guy and, for now, they had similar goals.

  As much as Clover loved Lexy, she slept better at Teddy’s. Lexy brought a lot of traffic through their apartment. She said she felt obligated to take advantage of college being her experimental stage. After she graduated, she’d settle down with a nice guy. For now, though, she didn’t want to get to know anyone long enough to know if he was nice or not. Lexy was very vocal. If she enjoyed something, she made sure everyone three buildings over was aware of it.

  Clover’s dad sighed. “I don’t know what you expect. We know you’re not a little girl anymore, but that doesn’t mean we’re ready to see you acting all grown up in front of us.”

  “Are you kidding me? If I were any other girl, you would have met my first boyfriend when I was sixteen.”

  “You had a boyfriend when you were sixteen?” Her dad’s face flushed red.

  “No! That’s my point. Stop treating me like I’m a little kid.” Clover was beyond frustrated. Teddy would be here any minute and they chose now to throw this macho posturing at her. She couldn’t really blame them. She’d be protective if she were meeting R.J.’s girlfriend for the first time. But R.J. was thirteen and she was twenty.

  “Baby, I don’t know that I’ll ever stop thinking of you as my little girl. I’m sorry.” Her dad sounded sincere, but the glint in his eyes said he wasn’t. He was enjoying making her squirm over this.

  “You know what? Forget it. He can check into a hotel and I’ll stay with him there.” She would hate that. For the most part, hotels creeped her out. The thought of sleeping in a bed under the same blanket that someone she’d never met had used the night before was enough to turn her into a germaphobe. But it would be better than worrying that her family was going to alienate her boyfriend.

  “Now hold on.” Her dad looked scared enough by her threat that she thought maybe he’d be reasonable now.

  “I don’t know what else to do. Teddy is a nice guy. He doesn’t deserve this.” She gestured toward her bother and Brandon. Brandon’s posture softened, but R.J.’s didn’t.

  “This isn’t easy for us, Clover,” Brandon said.

  “What’s so hard about it? Lexy is coming to visit next month. Are you going to react like this to her?”

  “That depends. Are you sleeping with her?” Her dad asked.

  “Who said I’m sleeping with Teddy?” Clover did not want to have this conversation in front of R.J.. He knew just enough about sex at this point to be obnoxious.

  “Are you saying you’re not?” Her dad’s eyes narrowed and he gave her a hard look.

  “I’m twenty years old!” It wasn’t a direct answer, but it was enough to make her dad sigh and drop his head into his hands.

  “Tell me you’re being safe.”

  Just then the doorbell rang. Teddy had arrived. Clover grabbed her keys and phone and headed to the door. “We’ll be back in time for dinner.”

  “Clover…” Her dad called her back.

  “No. I love you guys, but right now I’m angry. I can’t bring him in here like this.” She kissed her dad on the cheek, then Brandon. She stared at R.J. for several long seconds, then pulled him into a hug. “Just give me some time to calm down, okay?”

  Her dad nodded tiredly. In that moment, he looked old. “Okay.”

  Clover squeezed out the door without opening it wide enough for Teddy to see inside. He held a backpack loosely in his hand and smiled when saw her. His smile faded into confusion when she closed the door without inviting him in. Still, he bent and gave her a gentle kiss.

  “Hey. I missed you.”

  “Me, too.” Clover pulled him back in and kissed him just a little deeper. Teddy didn’t make her see fireworks or anything, but she liked him. He was sweet to her and didn’t resent the time she spent studying. He worked just as hard, so it was a good match.

  “Are we going inside?” Teddy hefted his bag. “I want to meet your dad and put this away.”

  “Not right now. Leave the bag her
e. Let’s go for a drive.”

  “Sure.” Teddy set his bag on the porch swing, then held her hand as they walked back his car. “I’d love to see where you grew up.”

  Clover didn’t point out that he was looking at it. She just smiled and climbed in the car.

  “Where to?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Just drive.”

  A faded green F-150 pulled into the driveway as they were pulling out. She didn’t turn back to see who it was.

  Chapter 37

  Present Day

  Jake gave his aunt her shopping bags from town and retreated to his room. He could, and probably should, have found some work to do, but he needed a moment to clear his thoughts. He needed to figure out what his reaction to Vince meant. He’d never been so close to letting his temper loose as he was that afternoon. Clover was precious and that Vince didn’t see that hurt Jake deep in his gut. That Vince put his hands on Clover filled Jake with a rage so powerful he’d barely been able to contain it.

  He’d always thought he was better than his dad, who chose to communicate through violence and anger. Now he wasn’t so sure. Once that kind of anger was unleashed, was it possible to control it ever again?

  The only thing Jake was sure of now was that his control was worth less than keeping Clover safe. He would do anything to protect her and the line that had been so clear to him before had all but disappeared. He didn’t know that he’d ever find it after today. And he didn’t know if he cared.

  Maybe this was where his dad went wrong. Instead of using all that energy to protect his family, he’d turned it on his wife and son. Not that his mom was any different. She met his dad halfway and then some. Jake was never sure, listening to them go at it, who would come out the victim and who would be the victor. He couldn’t really tell afterward either. They just looked beat up.

  Jake glanced at the calendar. August fifteenth, the day Clover was scheduled to leave for Portland, was circled with bright red Sharpie. Seven more days and then she’d be gone. He’d thought he could let her go, that they’d figure out a way to make it work with her there and him in Salem. He knew now that he could never let that happen. The summer had gone too quickly, but the love he felt for Clover was too deep to be denied. He needed her like he needed the air that filled his lungs. He wouldn’t survive without her and he believed she felt the same. Not that she’d said it. So far she’d avoided answering when he’d said he loved her, but that didn’t keep him from seeing it in her eyes. At some point, she would catch up to where he was emotionally. He had to believe that.