Starbright: The Complete Series

by Hilary Thompson

  Father has always cautioned against the strong, mood-altering pills given by the Counselors, and this is one thing I agree with him on. I do not want the medicine, so I must change. Today is a good day to start, with its promise of shopping with friends, and later, food and dancing.

  I meet Isa and the other girls at the small group of shops that is in a brightly-lit cavern behind the Common Area. The area is crowded with people buying their weekly food.

  For Choosing Day, we will all look for dresses in our sign’s special color. We wear bits of our colors daily, but the dresses must be special, extravagant. My color is red – for fire, and for excitement.

  Mother has always said I carry enough fire on my head to start a revolution. Today, this thought makes me smile, and catching a glimpse of my smile in the shop window, I feel a great leap closer to happy.

  Isa takes a long time, trying on several dresses before choosing a graceful gown: shades of gold, wheat, and butter mingle in the layers of the skirt, highlighting the wavy gold of her hair. The silky fabric flows around her curves, dipping low in the back to reveal her creamy skin. The shoulders join in the back with a single strand of pearl beads.

  Garna, who is a Virgo, chooses a sophisticated, simple dress of navy blue, with delicate silver-gray lace marking the low neckline. It makes her gray eyes sparkle. A bit of lace at each shoulder and peeking from beneath the slim skirt creates the idea of hidden beauty.

  I hang back from the other girls, but the shopkeeper has been watching me as I run my fingers along each dress, reluctant to commit any to the changing room. I’m hesitant to see my plain reflection next to Isa’s curves and Garna’s elegance. She waves everyone away and takes my shoulders gently.

  “Let me find your dress. You should look like the star, shooting from heaven,” she tells me quietly, kindly, her eyes lingering on my diamonds. Her subtle admiration gives me pause – in the midst of all my preparation for the worst, I have failed to remember the hope my Choosing Day means for the people of Asphodel.

  We are an underground people. People who worship the sun, moon, and stars, yet have never seen such things ourselves. My partnership with Lexan allows the prophecy to begin. The Starbright Maiden and her scales of Balance.

  I am – without asking, without wanting – a savior of Asphodel.

  The impending reality of this thought sends me to my knees on the floor of the small changing room. I never wanted this. I’m not even seventeen. I can’t run a city…I can’t even manage my own small life. How can they expect this of me?

  Then I realize that this is precisely why Keirna is angry – in her mind, we do not need a child savior. Surely there are others who feel this way as well, some who are certain Asphodel does not need a revolution, no matter what the ancient prophecy requires.

  A knock on the door. A bundle of red fabric passed hand over hand. A click of the latch. And I’m alone with my destiny.

  I open the door and peek out, shy but strangely proud. Several girls are grouped at the edge of the mirror, chatting and giggling. Isa sees my face first.

  “Well, come on out, silly! I want to see you in that dress!”

  Hesitantly, I open the door a bit further. Isa’s enormous smile lends me the courage I need to emerge, and the girls’ squeals and spontaneous claps prompt me to look in the mirror.

  The dress is exquisite. Brilliant veins of orange and red flow around me, catching the true fiery pigments of my hair. The light fabric envelops my body, showing off muscles I have recently developed and curves I never knew existed. A lower skirt of ash gray, sewn with thousands of tiny crystals, swirls beneath the ribbons of sheer red fabric, sparkling in competition with the diamonds in my cheek and lighting up my dark gray eyes. The neckline is low enough to cause me embarrassment, and the back dips as well, held in place by a dozen thin strands of crystal.

  I am...beautiful, somehow. I was made for this dress.

  I look powerful. Vivacious. I could twirl and combust and consume everyone if I desired.

  A male voice rouses me from my reverie of fire.

  “Wow, Astrea, you look...amazing.” Pallis ignores the giggles of my watching friends and approaches me. “I’ve never seen you so...” his quiet voice trails away, and I hear a strange tone in it, which I think may be regret. Maybe it’s just mine.

  “Thanks, Pallis,” I smile, flattered. Then the smile takes on a wicked turn as a sudden idea idles in my brain. My heart skips a few beats and my skin feels hot and dry. Eventually I will be with Lexan, but I’m not partnered yet, not shackled to a boy who has shown me that he would rather be with a dozen other girls than anywhere near me. I want to have some fun with someone who likes me.

  Pallis has perfect timing.

  “Maybe I’ll see you tonight. Dancing?” I maintain my flirtatious grin, daring a step toward him. Pallis returns the smile, surprise in his eyes.

  “Absolutely! I’ll see you then.” He turns, nods politely to the group of girls, and leaves the store, still grinning. Something hateful in me stretches and curls in satisfaction, loving the idea that I could show Lexan just how it feels to watch your future partner dance in someone else’s arms all night.

  Isa gives me a best friend look – a “what are you doing” look. I shrug happily, not caring, and twirl around to admire the dress again.

  The shopkeeper gives me a discount. I know she does. I have nearly half my stack of cards left when she hands me the dress box in a large, crisp bag. I hope she won’t get punished for it, but she refuses to take the cards I offer her.

  “It was wonderful to meet you,” she smiles as I turn to go. “Good luck.”

  “Thank you.” I wonder if she knows how much luck I really need. A dress may change my looks and lift my spirits for a minute, but tomorrow will be classes, and training, and thoughts of danger again. And soon the dress will mean Choosing Day.

  “Come on, let’s go look at the other shops!” Isa pulls me away from the group of girls, who are headed back to the Common Area to show off their purchases.

  Once we are by ourselves, she turns on me.

  “What are you doing with Pallis?”

  “What do you mean?” I try for innocence, but it really just comes out as defensiveness.

  “I mean, you know you can’t lead him on like that. You can’t partner with him!”

  “So? He knows that, too, but he still keeps flirting with me. Why can’t I have a little fun before I’m partnered with Lexan? Isa, he can’t be the only person I ever kiss.”

  “I still don’t understand why you don’t like him. Trea, you do realize that most of the girls in our class would give a year’s worth of point cards to choose Lexan if they could, right?”

  “Yes, you’ve told me that a thousand times. He’s just...creepy. I can’t explain it.”

  “Well, Choosing Day is only two weeks away. I think you need to start getting used to the idea. Why don’t you just get to know him? He’s not as bad as you think.”

  “Leave it alone. You can’t understand because you had three boys to choose from! Three! Probably more. I don’t get a choice – not in anything. Maybe it looks like I got a good deal, but it’s not me, Isa! Lexan doesn’t match with who I am.”

  She is quiet, her eyes pinned to the floor, and I know I’ve hurt her. I don’t care. She hurts me with her indifference, her inability to understand. She is just like the others.

  She begins walking away, and I follow, both of us silent. Then I brush her arm, suddenly sorry, panicked that she will leave me.

  “Isa, I just want to feel wanted – you know, like I’m attractive. Pallis does that. Lexan doesn’t. Lexan doesn’t even like me,” I say, not realizing how sulky I sound until it’s too late.

  “Wait a second.” Isa catches my whiny tone, too practiced in figuring me out. “You’re mad because he doesn’t like you, even though you can’t stand him?” She begins to giggle, and before I know it, we’re both holding our bellies from laughter, the outburst forgotten.


  Isa calms, wiping a tear from her eye. She smooths her wavy blond hair back and squares me up, holding my shoulders. “Okay, but here’s what you do. Go ahead. Have some fun with Pallis. Not too much – you know about him, right? I’ve heard he has a little…experience.”

  I grin, thinking that’s one of the best reasons to choose him to lead my little rebellion.

  “But even a little kiss will probably make Lexan jealous. That could be a good thing for both of you,” she says thoughtfully. “He takes you for granted, I think. Just don’t let things get out of hand.”

  I know she speaks from experience, and I poke her arm. “Like with Dalen?”

  She grins without shame. “Hey, once I decided I wanted Dalen, I had to be sure he wanted me. So, yeah, I made out with Carr, Dalen flipped out, and I got what I wanted! I do feel a little bit bad about Carr, though.”

  “Yeah, his eye was black for days,” I say, remembering.

  “Well, yeah, but I mean bad about leading him on. It wasn’t really nice. I did give him time to get over it and find another girl, though. That’s what I’m worried about with you – with Choosing Day so close, Pallis needs to be focusing on the other girls. Not you.”

  “Well, that’s his problem. Plenty of girls like him – he’ll be fine. Isa, you know Lexan has probably kissed a dozen girls by now. I don’t want to spend my whole life only knowing the one man I never wanted in the first place. Anyways, I know what I’m doing.” I don’t want her to voice any more reservations. I might lose my nerve.

  “Trea, I’ve known you too long for that. You do not know what you’re doing.”

  FIVE

  Stars, stars, beings of sky,

  Our sacred lights, wish-granters on high.

  Illumine our Fates, oh daughters of Night.

  Elysium bodies, beam forth your light.

  When Justice is come, to battle we cry,

  Then Order and Peace will evil defy.

  Circles of flame burn purely bright,

  Justice and Balance give men divine sight.

  From The Book of Ministry, Second Edition,

  Chapter Seven: Prayers

  Translated by Head Minister Charles, year 2086

  As the gathering begins, Asphodel remembers any community members who have died recently. Today we honor two, a partnered couple who were nearly eighty. They died within days of each other, and Mother has told me their love was so strong they couldn’t bear to be apart, even in death. She and two other entertainers perform an ancient song to honor this love, and I let the trio of voices lull my nervous thoughts, the notes like cool fingers on my temples.

  It is uncommon to die from anything other than old age in Asphodel. Unlike the times before the Sickness, we have very little disease. No malnutrition, no cancers to speak of. There are unfortunate accidents, but mostly there are those who grow old and take their last breath calmly with their loved ones surrounding them.

  Head Minister Saloman stands on a natural ledge and prays, then offers consoling words to the community. Although he always strives to end on a hopeful note, a flicker of melancholy passes into my chest, my lungs feeling tight as I again think of my future with Lexan.

  The Leaders move to the front, and I sit up a little straighter to watch them. There are seven in all. First Leader Keirna, plus one representative for each Fire and Air sign: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius. Aitan, Lexan’s older brother, stands amongst them as the youngest Leader. He is an Aries, like Keirna, and me. We nearly share a birthday, separated by four years and one day. One day that also separates him forever from First Leader; he was born only hours after the Equinox ended.

  I wish he had entered the world sooner, leaving me a different destiny to follow.

  He also stood in the way of Lexan choosing the vocation of Leader. Immediate family can’t hold more than one leadership role, and Aitan got to choose first, leaving Lexan to become a minister. I wonder how Lexan avoids hating his own lack of choice.

  Keirna stands at the front behind a small podium and reminds us of the upcoming Choosing Day. The crowd buzzes with whispers, and I feel as though she stares a hole in my direction. Her voice is sour. She announces that there are no laws to review, but that there is one punishment the community must vote on. The whispers join and expand to form a tangible fear – we do not often have serious punishments in Asphodel, because we do not often seriously disobey. I think of Brenn, and my stomach wrings acid up the back of my throat.

  Two protectors emerge from a hallway, each holding an arm of a small woman. I squint, trying to see if I’ve met her. Then my stomach drops.

  The shopkeeper.

  “This woman,” First Leader Keirna begins, “is accused of stealing from the store in which she works.”

  My palms are cold and dry, but my cheeks flare with understanding. I look at Isa to see if she comprehends. Her eyes are narrowed with worry, and her hand hovers over my leg, a warning to keep still.

  “We propose that her punishment be confinement in a public cell until the money she stole is repaid with community donations, plus a Level Three punishment of two weeks’ confinement. Are there any objections?”

  Keirna moves to wave away the protectors, but without warning I find myself standing, a lone resister in the student section, ignoring Isa’s frantic pull on my tunic.

  “Please, First Leader, how much did she steal?” My voice burns through the whispers to the front of the room. A challenge.

  “Sixty-four points,” Keirna returns harshly, her black eyes glinting like the diamonds at her temple.

  I cringe at the amount as Isa manages to pull me back to my seat. It is, indeed, the same amount the woman refused from me today. Brenn was right. Keirna is dangerous. Even more, she is watching me.

  The crowd murmurs softly – it is a decent amount, but maybe not as much they expected. The shopkeeper should only have a Level Two punishment – one week’s confinement.

  Keirna raises her hand for silence. “Are there any other objections?”

  As a group, the crowd says, “Let it be done.”

  My temper burns, futility and frustration coursing a hot path in my veins. They whispered that it wasn’t fair, but they did nothing. I did nothing. Isa tightens her grip.

  “Do not challenge her again,” she says, close to my ear, her tone panicked.

  The feast begins. I eat, tasting nothing. I talk, remembering nothing.

  The dancing begins. I am frenetic, trying to erase my feelings of guilt and fear with physical exhaustion. I dance with Pallis again and again, barely noticing the warmth of his hands and smiles. He begs for a break, laughing, out of breath. Instead of sitting, I dance with his friends, and he watches from the edge, shaking his head at my endless energy and harsh flirting.

  As exhaustion finally finds me, I rest, dreading the guilt that is sure to return. My feet are swollen in their slippers, and strands of hair cling to my neck. As I sparsely listen to Pallis and his friends, I glimpse Lexan on the dance floor, holding a different girl each song. Every one of them looks a bit star-struck, relaxing in his arms. I’m only struck with an overpowering annoyance.

  Isa is right – he does take me for granted.

  I wonder what the people think of their chosen couple – if they notice how he ignores me and I despise him. My cheeks flush, angry with new energy. He rounds near me, and I block his path.

  “May I?” I ask the girl, but glare at Lexan.

  He barely falters as he seizes my waist and hauls me into the crowd. I’m flustered by his enthusiasm, until I notice his eyes. Sparking. And his lips, pressed into whiteness.

  “What exactly are you doing?” he nearly spits at me.

  Until this second, I haven’t realized Brenn is training my mind as well, teaching control over my fiery reactions. I force a calm I do not feel.

  “I didn’t expect you to be jealous of my dancing. After all, you-”

  “I’m not talking about Pallis, you idiot!”

  I
stop dancing, my hands trembling to sting his sneer away. “Excuse me?”

  He only pushes my resistance aside, easily forcing me back into the rhythm of the music. He leans closer, his breath hot and fierce in my ear. “Why would you ever challenge Keirna? Has Brenn taught you nothing?”

  We are on the other side of the room from Isa now, and I see her grinning at me. She probably thinks we are playing nicely, and that she is to thank for it. I’m disgusted with myself for even trying to talk with Lexan. He can go to Hades.

  Then it registers that he knows about my training with Brenn. I swallow my fire.

  “I just asked her a question. People do that.”

  “Not with Keirna. Aitan says nobody questions her. Ever. She’ll ruin your life, Astrea.”

  “No, Lexan, you will ruin my life,” I say, shoving him away roughly. I cannot handle another lecture today. I hurry back to Pallis, pulling him toward the dance floor.

  He protests, laughing. “Hey, we’re going down to the hot pool. You should come!”

  Normally, I would never go to the hot pool after a gathering. It’s a place where the older students hang out, those who are in courtship. They don’t usually welcome the younger students. Then I realize, in two weeks I’ll be in courtship too. With Lexan.

  “Pallis, I would love to go to the pool with you,” I say loudly, linking my arm in his. A quick look over my shoulder shows Lexan glaring, his mouth almost invisible in a tight little line. I wink at him, and his cheeks color in anger.

  The hot pool is soon filled with students my age, the older couples having left it for better, more secretive places. Someone has brought along a strong, sweet wine, and I drink deeply when Pallis hands me a cup. It sends a welcome fog into my brain, and I enjoy the slow, heavy feeling it lends my arms.

  Pallis and his friends laugh at jokes I don’t understand, but I barely notice. Suddenly everything seems silly and easy to manage, and I finally begin to relax.

  Isa and Dalen arrive and sit together across the pool. They look happy. He strokes her hair, and she fiddles with the buttons on his shirt, as though her fingers would wish them undone.