Starbright: The Complete Series

by Hilary Thompson

  I grab her hand, holding on like I used to as a small child. Why shouldn’t I speak to Father? Was I wrong to trust him? “Mother…”

  “Astrea, things are different now than they have ever been. I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t even imagine. But trust yourself – when the opportunity comes, you’ll know what to do. And remember, I’ll always love you.” She squeezes my hands gently between hers, then rises from the table, turning almost quickly enough to hide the tear she wipes away. “I need you to go to the store for me. Here’s the list.”

  And the day moves forward, as if the conversation was only in my imagination. I wish I had more information, but I am beginning to realize that this information can only come at a price I am likely unwilling to pay. The thought of Mother’s tear frightens me; my mother is a private person, and though her emotions flow like rivers when she tells her stories, she goes to great lengths to keep her personal sadness from me.

  As I enter the Common Area, I notice the noise level is higher than normal for early Sunday morning. There is a small, but growing, group of people near the public cells. My heart speeds up as I approach, wondering if there is a new prisoner. Pushing into the crowd, I see the shopkeeper is standing, her arms spread wide.

  But her head looks funny, sagging at a strange angle. A woman pushes past me, sobbing, and I refocus on the cell.

  The shopkeeper is not standing. She is hanging. A twist of fabric, torn from her tunic, winds around her neck and loops up to the top bars. Her slippered feet aren’t actually touching the floor of the cell. And her arms are not spread wide. They are suspended from strips of fabric, also tied to the bars.

  She resembles a lifeless puppet, and Keirna’s message to me is clear.

  I run for the bathroom, suddenly very glad I haven’t eaten breakfast.

  NINE

  The four elements are fire, earth, air, and water.

  Fire signs, including Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius, are

  aggressive, passionate, and prone to sudden action.

  Air signs, including Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius, are

  intellectual, communicative, and likely to use logic and reason.

  From Understanding Your Horoscope

  Head Minister Charles, year 2073

  Later in the afternoon, I sit with friends in the Common Area, there but not truly present. Although we are all subdued from what is being labeled a suicide, our regular Sunday rituals are quickly returning.

  “Death is easier to bear when life is lived,” Isa reminds me. “And it’s not your fault,” she whispers. But she doesn’t know what I said to Keirna, and so she believes the lies about the shopkeeper’s death.

  A few entertainers play music in a corner, creating gentle melodies. Isa leaves me to dance playfully with Dalen. It seems their courtship has already begun. Several others have formed couples too, and I realize that I’m feeling left out and restless in addition to guilty. I hate feeling like an outsider – and it’s been happening too much lately. I leave my friends, who barely notice. Wandering from group to group, I catch snippets of conversation.

  “My dress for Choosing Day is perfect – don’t you think?”

  “Father wants me to choose Terrin, but I haven’t talked to him in forever.”

  “Lexan and I barely ever talk,” I interject, joining a small group of girls.

  “Well, I wouldn’t talk to him either,” one giggles, “I’d kiss him all day instead!”

  I resist the urge to roll my eyes. These girls have never had a real shot with Lexan, and they know it. But I’m also sure he hasn’t saved everything for our partnership, and he’s been the subject of many hours of gossip.

  I’ve avoided that stigma with the boys by being so thorny and combative that none of them want to risk an injury to their ego. Lexan, though, he’s a charmer: superb at making everyone think they’re important, that they matter intensely. Libra all the way.

  I realize I’m beginning to pace. I find it hard to believe that nobody has concerns other than Choosing Day. When did I become so far removed from my classmates?

  Was I ever really like them? That’s the point, I think. I’ve always been different. That’s why, as much as Lexan infuriates and confuses me, I probably need to talk with him. I hate admitting it, but in marking us different, the stars have thrown us together, and soon I’ll be dependent on him in a way I’m dreading. I scan the crowd slowly.

  My eyes linger on the mosaic that patterns the whole of the north wall. Glittering stones, shiny metals, and colored tiles form a picture of the three Fates, which we learn about in our extensive mythology and religion classes. Clotho, the spinner, sits at the left, winding the golden thread of life around a spindle. Lachesis, the measurer, holds a length of thread to the sky, determining the duration and lot of a life. Aisa, the inevitable, sits at the right, and readies a great pair of gleaming shears to snip the thread of life. Although the women are beautiful, the mosaic always sends a rivulet of prickles down my spine.

  Some people think Lakessa was the human embodiment of the measurer, and that Tartarus and Elysium were founded by the other sisters, but I don’t believe that any more than the nonsense that I used to be a star in the sky. The glinting eyes seem to watch me as I turn my back on the Fates.

  “Hey, Trea,” Garna calls, beckoning. “A bunch of the boys have gone to the hot pool to swim. Want to come with me?”

  “That sounds great,” I say in relief. “I’ll grab my outfit and meet you back here.” The pool really isn’t hot enough to swim in for long, but we do it anyways. The room itself is much warmer than others though, as it shares one long wall with the incinerator, which occasionally serves as a crematorium. I shove that thought away immediately.

  I wave to Isa, hoping she’ll join me, but she simply waves back, not interested in whatever it is I’m doing. I wish she weren’t so caught up with Dalen lately – I really miss her. Then I wonder if she turned to him when I got so caught up in training. Maybe that’s all my fault, too.

  I push away the feeling that we’re losing each other, pulling on my swimming outfit. I can’t help but wonder what they wear outside, in Stian’s city. It must be much warmer there, without the constant chill of the cave walls. My arms and legs are completely covered for warmth – a slim version of my daily clothing. Only my middle is exposed, in a rare concession to vanity.

  Garna is waiting for me in the hallway outside my chambers, and we walk to the pool, she chattering away while I pretend to listen. There are lots of upper-level students already there, but again, no adults – most people stay away from here after partnering. We claim a spot against the wall, and I remove my outer tunic, tucking it into my satchel.

  “Hey, beautiful,” I hear, a pair of hands grasping my bare waist from behind. I sigh, recognizing the voice.

  “You’re kidding, right? Didn’t we settle this last week?” I pick the hands from my waist and turn to face Pallis, who’s been drinking – maybe more than last week.

  “Hey, sorry I got a little pushy, but you’re just so gorgeous, I can’t help it,” he says, grinning lopsidedly. I bite my lip to keep from laughing at him; he is awfully cute when he’s bungling an apology. “Besides, everyone in the room can see you and Lexan aren’t exactly together, partnership or not.” He gestures to Lexan, who is stretched by the water, propped on an elbow, smiling down at a small brunette.

  Anger flares to life. “There is nothing wrong between Lexan and me. We have an understanding.”

  “Yeah? Well, if he understands so much, why don’t you ever let go and have a little fun? That’s what he does pretty much every week. But then you try it once, and he flips out.”

  I know Lexan and I have never been what anyone would term “together,” but this is too much for my pride. I need to gain some respect, starting now. Pallis is goading me, hoping I’ll do something crazy, and it’s working. My temper is nearly to combustion.

  “Here.” I push Pallis away. “Just watch.” I smile to myself, thinkin
g that the crazy thing I’ve just thought of is nowhere near what Pallis has in mind.

  I walk slowly to where Lexan is lying next to the girl, quiet anger in every move. Her giggles stop in the flicker of my shadow.

  “Run along now,” I say quietly to her.

  “Whatever, Astrea,” she begins to mouth back.

  “Honey,” I whisper, “you need to leave.”

  And she does. She moves slowly, she pouts, but she leaves. By this time Lexan is standing too, watching me in amusement, a grin slowly spreading. I lock him in my gaze, confident that many people are watching us, anticipating a scene. If I can kiss Pallis to convince myself that I have choices, I can kiss Lexan again to convince him he doesn’t.

  It won’t mean anything to me.

  I grasp his waistband, both to pull him closer and test his resistance. This will be a good show if it kills me. My hand curls around his neck, his head bending easily toward mine. I rest my mouth close to his ear.

  “Lexan, you need to stop making me look like an idiot who can’t keep a partner. Appearances are important. Now be a man and kiss me.” I pull back and lock onto his eyes to make sure he is in agreement, my fingers trailing along his neck, around his smooth shoulder blade.

  “Just be careful what you ask for,” he whispers, then crushes his mouth to mine. This time I am more prepared for his intensity, but my knees are still weak almost immediately. My nails dig into his waist for support as his hands cup my face, his fingers tangling in my hair. I gain the presence of mind to kiss him back, almost ferociously, matching him. I suck air into my lungs, my fire rising on its movement.

  I feel powerful. I can feel the pairs of eyes on us, sense their surprise, locate their sudden point of belief. Tricking these people into believing the lie of Lexan and me makes my head whirl with excitement. I begin to smile around the kiss.

  I am in control – of myself, of those watching, and even of Lexan.

  And then I begin to feel a tiny fear gripping at the edge of this power. Lexan’s breath has turned shuddery, shallow, and his hands, still tangled in my hair, begin to shake. While I gain power, he loses it.

  I break away abruptly, staring at him, my heart beating heavily. He draws another raspy breath, then grins.

  “That was fun,” he whispers in my ear. My stomach twists; he will never change.

  I smile, sick-sweet, then shove him away as hard as I can. He topples, laughing, into the cold water. Bobbing to the surface, he shakes the water out of his hair, then beckons to me. I dive into the water, and it seems to sizzle around my skin. Others join us and together we play like slightly vicious children.

  I’ve traded a small piece of my pride for what I hope is a larger measure of respect from my classmates. My future citizens.

  Finally, people begin to trickle away, heading home for dinner. As Lexan dries himself with a large towel and I braid my damp hair, his gaze skims my body in its wet fabric. I pretend not to notice, but it tightens and twists my insides.

  “Training with Brenn is really working for you, Trea,” he teases. I continue to ignore him, gathering my things. By now, we are the only two left. “Hey, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about Tella. She’s nothing.” At my look of confusion, he adds, “The brunette?”

  I shrug, then hold up my hand. “I’m still not sure if I can trust you.” I have to be honest with him – it’s the only way to move forward. “I’m not talking about the girls, either. Though that doesn’t help.” I mutter under my breath, but he hears it.

  “I promise you, from now on, I won’t flirt with the other girls. You’re right – we do need to start working harder to convince people we’re together.”

  Unexpectedly, this hurts my feelings. Stubborn pride resents that it’s just pretend, though I certainly don’t know what else to call it. Lexan and I will never be in love, but we can’t let others see that.

  Perhaps it’s starting to sink in that my preferences will always be a luxury. “Asphodel needs to see us together, in love. We’re part of a prophecy. We have a responsibility to the city. And whatever Keirna wants out of this, she’ll have a tougher time of it if we’re together.” I’m using Brenn’s words, trying to convince myself as much as Lexan.

  He takes my shoulders and faces me, looking directly in my eyes. “Trea, whatever negativity we had in the past, let’s forget it. We’re a team now. We have to watch out for each other, trust each other.”

  I nod slowly, his dark blue eyes nearly hypnotizing me. He leans in even closer, brushing his lips against mine. Again, the image of us as partners seeps into my mind. Tightness comes to my lungs as they burst with unspent air.

  “Just so you know, I wasn’t pretending earlier,” he says, his breath warm against my skin.

  I breathe out slowly, then step a safe distance away, clamping a ferocious will over the unexpected skips in my heart. Lexan is trying to confuse me again, and I need to clear my thoughts. Retrieving my tunic and satchel, I allow him to walk beside me for a few steps.

  “You know, it was actually pretty easy to make you breathe that hard,” I say, just before taking off at a run, laughing. He nearly growls, sprinting after me, but my head start is just enough, and we burst into the nearly empty Common Area together, both breathless and laughing.

  Whatever is developing between us, it is not what I expected, and that makes me nervous. Something isn’t right.

  I know there was a real reason why I never trusted Lexan. But as I get closer to him, that certainty is beginning to dissolve, eroded by the gentle breaths of his charm.

  TEN

  In the years immediately following the Great Sickness, many people came to the gates of Asphodel, seeking shelter. Our brave First Leader turned away all who were sick with the disease, protecting her people above all else. It was believed at first that other communities such as ours were surviving, in places known as Tartarus and Elysium. However, as the years stretched forward, this became less of a possibility. It is quite likely that we are, indeed, the sole survivors of the human population.

  From Community History, Chapter Two

  Leader Lorcan, year 2080

  Once I’m sure Mother and Father have gone to sleep, I slip into the kitchen and take more food. I need to visit Stian, and see what else he will tell me of the world beyond Asphodel. Part of me wonders if I should tell Lexan, but I reject the idea immediately. Some form of trust is developing, but this is a totally different kind of secret. I know Lexan would be very worried about what I’m doing. I think this is part of my reason for doing it.

  I’m learning that if something is dangerous, it’s probably important.

  Stian has been sleeping when I enter the room, but he’s awake and alert instantly, standing upright with knife in hand before I have taken three steps into the room. I curse and bend toward my shoe, ready to palm my own blade if necessary.

  “Thank God,” he says when he realizes it’s me, tossing his weapon casually to the floor. “I’m terrified some other person will find me and I’ll be done for.”

  “What makes you so sure you can trust me?” I hand over the small sack of food after he’s lit a candle.

  “Well, you feed me. And I know you keep a lot of secrets. You’ll probably keep mine.” Seeing my eyes narrow, he continues, “See, you come here at odd hours, and nobody else seems to know about it. So you must be hiding something. Maybe from something.”

  “It’s not like that. I used to use this room to meditate,” I gesture to my pillow, which has become part of his bed. “But you’re right that nobody knows about this place. I’m careful, because I don’t want to lose it – it’s mine, nobody else’s.” I try not to sound annoyed that this is obviously no longer true.

  “Does that pool go anywhere?” he changes the subject abruptly, but I don’t comment.

  “It joins with our other pools and rivers. The whole system supports our city. We use the water to generate electricity, too.”

  “How can you guys have survived down here fo
r so long? Honestly, when I set out to find Asphodel, I expected to get a bunch of albino cave crickets and dried-up bones. Not a girl with fire in her hair and a knife in her shoe.”

  I ignore the teasing. We don’t know each other well enough for his familiar tone. “You thought we’d all be dead?”

  “Yeah, I did. What exactly do you know about the rest of the world?”

  I’m quiet just a second too long.

  “I bet, until I showed up, you didn’t even think there was an outside world. Am I right?”

  His easy arrogance, and the fact that he is almost exactly right, lights up my temper like flicking on a switch. “If you’re going to make fun of my ignorance, I’ll just leave and let you poke around for another way in.” I know I sound like a child, but we both have our cards to play. His is knowledge, mine is access.

  “There are whole cities up there, much bigger than yours. How many people do you have now? A thousand?”

  “Nearly three thousand, actually. How many are in your city?” I’m not going to be the only one answering questions.

  “I don’t really live in a city, but there are two that I know of. Tartarus and Elysium. They both have several thousand, but Tartarus is bigger. Then there are the Tribes, where I’m from. I have no idea how many of us there are, because we’re never in the same place together.”

  I’m not remotely sure what to ask next – my mind is spinning in a thousand directions. I’ve never even thought of the possibility that there are more people outside of Asphodel than in it. Sure, we learn about the other two cities, but nobody really believes they still exist.

  “I always thought everyone else died during the Great Sickness, a hundred years ago. How did all these people survive?”

  “Great Sickness? You mean the Cleansing?”

  “Cleansing?” I repeat. The term sounds horrible, like people are filthy things that can be simply wiped off the earth with a giant dirty rag.