Starbright: The Complete Series

by Hilary Thompson

  The truck jerks to a stop, throwing me backward and into Lexan. He steadies me as Stian curses, peering through the back window.

  “Should we go back?” Zarea asks.

  “”We need to know who that is,” Stian answers. “Lexan and Tre should stay hidden, I think. Madna won’t say anything if it’s dangerous. But they’ll have heard and seen the truck. We can’t risk anyone following and surprising us.”

  He backs the truck meticulously down the hill until there is a clearing wide enough to turn us around. Then he speeds as much as possible toward the bright green lawn ahead. I poke my head up to see, and he curses again. I duck down and under my blanket, feeling like a scolded child.

  “Stay down here,” Lexan whispers. “It could be another hunting party.”

  I nod, realizing that we could all be in a lot of danger if the wrong person has just arrived at the safe house.

  Stian stops the vehicle and he and Zarea exit, slamming the doors. Taking the blanket off my head, I can hear voices drifting through the open windows, but nothing loud enough to understand. Lexan does the same.

  I give him a look and he glares, shaking his head. I know it’s only been a few minutes, but my stomach is churning with unease. How will I help Stian if I don’t even know what is happening?

  I count to sixty in my head, then again and again, until at least ten minutes have passed.

  Footsteps and voices approach and I yank the blanket back over my head. I hear the doors open and people settle in the seats, then the doors slam shut and the engine revs to life.

  “It’s okay. You can get up,” Stian says as the truck begins to move.

  I shoot up and immediately peer through the window as Stian pulls back onto the mountain path, even faster than before. The ground shifts beneath the wheels and I have to grip the seats in front of me to avoid toppling over. Madna and the stranger disappear inside her house.

  “Well?” I demand.

  Zarea sighs, and my heart speeds up. There’s something she doesn’t want to tell me. “That man was from a different Tribe, but he’d been searching for Asphodel too.”

  “And he found it a lot more easily than I did,” Stian adds, his voice tight.

  “Your Leader has moved people topside already,” Zarea clarifies.

  “But that’s early,” Lexan says, his voice full of anxiety. What would make Keirna advance the prophecy almost a year? Then it hits me.

  “With us gone, there is no prophecy,” I say. “Keirna can do what she wants. Make her own schedule. Her own rules.”

  Lexan glances at me and I can see the fear in his eyes. Our families are in danger.

  “We have to go back,” I say, images of Father and Brenn and Isa flashing through my head. “We can help them!”

  “No,” Stian says. “It’s even more dangerous for you now. We have to stick with our plan - head for Tartarus and get help. Plus, we need the information they have about the prophecies. Your people will have to defend themselves for now.”

  A sinking pull wraps itself around my heart. My people. The ones I was supposed to save. They’ll think I abandoned them.

  I did abandon them.

  I ran away from them to be selfish, to follow a boy, to deceive my destiny.

  “I have to go back!” I say, feeling my heart constrict even more.

  “We will,” Lexan says, and his voice is low and strong and soothing. He grabs my hand and laces his fingers with mine. “We will go back. But not without help. Trea, if we go now, we can’t help anyone. But if we get the knowledge we need, or help from one of the Tribes or from Tartarus, we can overthrow Keirna. Make things right again. You’re not ready to serve Justice. But when you are, we’ll go back. I promise.”

  I know he’s right. I sit back down, feeling hot tears of shame and helplessness slide down my cheeks. I pull my fingers from Lexan’s and bury my face in the stuffy blankets, wishing I’d done everything differently.

  Lexan rubs at my back awkwardly for a few minutes, and everyone is silent. I feel myself drifting into a black zone and I pretend to sleep so he will leave me alone. Finally Lexan punches his pack into a pillow shape behind his head, then stretches out as straight as he can and yawns.

  “Tell me when we get there,” he says. Then he throws an arm over his eyes and soon begins to snore quietly. How can he actually sleep?

  After a while, I notice the vehicle has started to tilt down instead of up, so I assume we’ve crested the hills around Madna’s house. After wiping my cheeks and trying to straighten my hair, I pull halfway up so I can see between Stian and Zarea, through the front window of the truck. Stian reaches over his shoulder and squeezes my arm. “So we’re headed north?” I say, keeping my voice steady.

  “And west,” Zarea nods, her dark waves falling over her face as she studies the map. “It will take us closer to the Tribes than I would like, but it’s the fastest way. And when you have two thousand miles to go, that’s a fair trade.”

  “They should be moving to the summer hunting areas soon, though,” Stian adds. “They probably won’t be anywhere near our path. I’m more worried about roaming scouts trying to steal our supplies.”

  “And the truck,” Zarea says, glancing behind us at the truck’s short open bed, full of rusted solar panels, a large drum of rainwater, and several oiled sacks of food and drinking water.

  “You might as well get some rest now,” Stian says to me. “I don’t plan on stopping until it gets too dark to see. Then we’ll need to spend a few hours scouting before we camp.”

  “Stian?” I say in a small voice. He glances over his shoulder at me. “What else did the man say about Asphodel?”

  He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, his shoulders moving up and down. “He didn’t talk with anyone there, just spied on them. So some of his assumptions could be wrong. But the people on the outside are being worked pretty hard, Tre. They’re building a community of some kind, making weapons like spears and bows, and they’re doing it fast. Some of them aren’t used to the work…” He trails off and I can hear the unspoken words. Some of them are dying.

  “It won’t be long before they find people to trade with for other weapons,” Zarea adds. “They’re preparing for a battle.”

  “And he said that only the men are topside. The only woman he saw was someone that sounds like Keirna. Tre,” he glances back at me again. “They’ll be okay. They’ll wait for you, and you’ll go back and fix everything.”

  I sigh and lower myself to the blankets. I’m not tired, and my brain is certainly not ready for sleep. But I don’t exactly want to have this conversation - not when the only thing I believe in wholeheartedly is my own guilt for what has happened.

  I stretch out on my stomach beside Lexan, trying to give him as much space as possible in the cramped floorboards. Lying down, I don’t get any of the fresh breeze that enters through the empty window holes. The blankets smell musty and I pull my shirt collar over my nose. Eventually the motion and the hum of the engine lull me into a sort of waking sleep. My mind spins through random memories and faces from home as the truck bounces along, creating its own path through the tall weeds.

  Everyone has been quiet for probably an hour when I hear Zarea sigh quietly. Her seat squeaks as she readjusts her legs.

  “So the children are asleep,” she says in a voice low enough that it can only be meant for Stian. I nearly open my eyes to prove her wrong, but then I decide to listen. Cautiously, I shift to my side to hear better, even though this means I’m now facing Lexan. His lashes shadow his cheeks, which are flushed with sleep. I close my eyes tighter against his proximity.

  Stian grunts. “I wish you would stop calling them that. They’re only two years younger than us.”

  “But children in experience. Infants. They’ve never killed, never lost everything. Never spent the night with a lover and felt the early morning sun on their naked bodies.”

  “Rea…” Stian says, his tone embarrassed. He shifts in his seat also,
and I wonder if they have shared all of those things. “I guess you’re right, though. When it comes to the evil in the world, they’ve only seen the edge.”

  My stomach twists as I wait for them to continue, wondering what secrets I might gain. For several long moments, all I can hear is the sound of the truck climbing over small grassy mounds and crunching through broken pieces of the ancient road. Lexan shifts in his sleep, twisting against me. His arm lands heavily on my waist, draping over my back. I tense, waiting for him to wake and move it. But he doesn’t.

  “What do you see in her, Sti? Why her?”

  My heart pounds as I realize how sad Zarea sounds. Wistful. Even though she is talking about me, and I should be angry, I only feel her sorrow in losing Stian and her confusion in his choices now. And I know in my heart that he wonders the same about her and Lexan.

  I guess some loves you never really get over, like Mother and Brenn.

  “She’s brave, and strong,” Stian answers softly. “And smart.”

  “So I’m a stupid coward?” Her voice bites at the quiet.

  “No, Rea, that’s not what I said. You’re an amazing protector and I know we loved each other with that fierceness only innocents can have. But we’re not anymore. Innocents, I mean. We’ve been too close and too far away. Never together in the middle.”

  “And she’s your new innocent.” It isn’t really a question, but Stian answers it anyways.

  “So what if she is. Sometimes I’d like a little innocence in this life, what with all the horror we see. And do.”

  “If I recall, you seemed to get great joy from corrupting me,” Zarea switches tactics swiftly, and a flirtatious double meaning laces her voice, lifting one tension and replacing it with another.

  “Likewise. We were pretty bad for each other, right?” I hear the smile in his voice, and it makes me nervous. I’m not exactly interested in being his pet innocent to corrupt slowly, for entertainment. Nor am I interested in being a soft white contrast to his hard world.

  “And what about you? Is Lexan as innocent as Tre?”

  Zarea laughs and I flinch. Lexan’s arm tightens reflexively around my waist, creating an awkward heat when his fingertips push beneath the hem of my shirt. I risk a glance up at his face, but his eyes are still closed and his features relaxed in sleep.

  The only thing more awkward than overhearing a conversation about myself is overhearing an intimate one about Lexan.

  “No, Lexan is not as innocent as Tre. In many ways. But really, Stian, he at least seems to know how serious all of this is. I don’t see how she could possibly survive a battle of any kind. She’s not that kind of strong.”

  My eyes fly open at this accusation and I nearly sit up and tackle her. But Lexan chooses this moment to snore loudly and I tuck my face against his chest, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as I feel two faces swivel toward us.

  “Look at the sweet children, clinging to each other in sleep,” Zarea coos, laughing derisively.

  “Shut it, Rea. Tre’s not a child. Although I’d like to stick Lexan in the back with the solar panels about now.”

  “Do you love her?” Zarea asks in the most serious voice I’ve heard her use yet.

  Stian shifts in his seat again, the cracked leather rasping as he moves. He doesn’t answer, and my heart begins to slow as the silence in the truck grows.

  I don’t love him yet, but he has claimed he loves me.

  Why doesn’t he answer her?

  “That’s what I thought,” Zarea says, and her voice is so bitter. “You probably haven’t even plucked her yet. I bet she won’t let you.”

  “Shut it, Rea! You have no reason to ask that and no right to know.”

  She snickers. “Yep, I’m right. You’ll get tired of trying to pluck her before she gets tired of telling you ‘not yet.’ I know you.”

  The truck bounces hard over a series of small ruts and Stian is definitely driving too fast.

  “I’d rather have Tre’s innocence than someone who gives herself to nearly anyone!” Stian’s voice sounds a little too pointed for this to be a casual comparison. I push my mouth against Lexan’s chest harder, stifling laughter. I wish I could see Zarea’s face right now.

  “You need someone to offer that,” she shoots back. “I’d help you out but I have my eye on a different sort of man right now. Besides, you never complained about my willing nature before.”

  Stian laughs a bit now, conceding. “True. On all accounts.”

  A chill of unease creeps up my spine like a blanket being peeled away. I know Stian has more experience than I do – also in many ways – but I never worried about it. Until now.

  What am I willing to do to catch up to him?

  Would he feel the same for me if I did catch up? Or would he just poke fun at me like he does now with Zarea?

  Maybe I’m simply an amusement for him – something to pass the time with.

  Maybe my perceived innocence is what he loves, and not the growing fire within me. Once, he was a weary wanderer, who needed my fire to survive. But what happens when my fire grows too hot or too wild to carry with him?

  Maybe the answer to my unhappiness wasn’t in running away from my partnership to Lexan, just to run into something similar with Stian. For the first time, I begin to wonder if I really do need Stian at all.

  I wonder if the key to finding my power is in learning to be who I am - and who I’m meant to be - outside of any partnership. As long as I can remember, I’ve been defining myself by what others need from me.

  What about what I need from myself?

  They are quiet long enough that I finally manage to silence this paralyzing circle of thoughts and drift toward an uneasy sleep, forcing my thoughts to a dark corner of my mind. Just before sleep claims me, I hear Zarea again.

  “I know I let you walk away, Sti. But let me know when you get tired of waiting for your innocent to grow up. I wouldn’t let you go again.”

  The truck jerks over a dip in the road, but Stian doesn’t answer.

  FIVE

  I’m afraid we do not have all the information necessary to break the code of the prophecies. I pray that there are still people alive in Tartarus and Elysium, and that together we might combine our knowledge to save what is left of our world.

  From Personal Journal of First Leader Firene

  Published after her death, year 2170

  “Trea, wake up.”

  I groan a little and twist my head away from the soft voice, which rumbles beneath my cheek.

  “You’re drooling on my shirt.”

  My eyes peel open and I glare at a damp spot on Lexan’s shirt. “It’s your fault,” I mumble, rubbing my eye with my knuckles.

  “And why is that?” he asks, his mouth quirking into a grin.

  “Come on, let’s go!” Stian calls from somewhere outside the truck. I push up onto my elbows, realizing we have stopped and the light has gone from the sky. My back is stiff from lying on the floorboards for hours and I roll back onto my knees, trying to stretch out the kinks in my muscles.

  “What?” I ask when I notice Lexan hasn’t moved, still watching me. He just shrugs, his expression noncommittal. My eyes focus on the small journal in his hands. “Will you translate more of that for me to read?”

  Lexan hesitates, glancing down at it. “Or I could just-“

  Stian pokes his head in the window. “We need to scout around. I thought we could split up. Two stay here and two go for a walk.”

  I yawn and climb toward the door, accepting Stian’s hand down. The night sounds have begun – small chirps and invisible movement tracked only by the swish of air above us. Thank the stars it isn’t raining, although there are still puddles in low areas.

  Lexan steps close behind me and taps my arm with the journal. “The code breaker is us, Trea. You and me,” he whispers as he slips the journal into the side pocket of his pack.

  I glance at him but his face is blank, as though the exchange never happened. Perhaps he doesn
’t want a translated version available for Stian or someone else to read. But what does he mean by code breaker?

  “I want Tre to come scouting with me,” Zarea announces, interrupting my thoughts. She rummages in the truck bed, retrieves her bow and quiver, then pulls mine free.

  “Rea—“Stian begins.

  But she just waves a few fingers at him. “She needs the experience and I need to stretch my legs. You boys can cook. Tre, start a fire for them and we’ll be off.”

  Lexan grins. “Yeah, I guess we don’t need flint anymore.”

  I roll my eyes, but I know it’s not worth the effort to protest. She’s going to order me around anyways. Stian places a handful of dry leaves onto the stacked wood and I lift a hand, letting an inch of fire pool in my palm. The leaves catch quickly.

  “Nice,” Stian says, his fingers tracing my waist lightly. “Have fun.”

  I shrug and turn away, following Zarea into the trees. I catch up to her quickly, not even trying to be quiet.

  “So what are we looking for?” I ask.

  “Any evidence of other Tribes or scouts - anyone who was here recently. It’s a little harder at night, but I thought you would make a good torch.”

  “Glad I can help.” I don’t bother to keep the annoyance from my voice.

  “Me too. After all, it would be a shame not to practice your powers.”

  She’s right, of course. Zarea might be condescending and she definitely doesn’t like me, but I can tell she would protect any of us with her last breath. There’s something disturbing about such a contradiction in commitment, and I can’t help but wonder if I could ever feel that way.

  Something in me is just too selfish, I think.

  “Here. Look.” She points to a stack of smooth stones placed at the base of a tall pine tree. They make a rough pyramid shape, rising about six inches off the ground. “This is a spring scout stack. Most of the Tribes use something like this to mark where they’ve been. So we don’t cross hunting paths too often.”

  “How do you know it’s from this spring?”