Starbright: The Complete Series

by Hilary Thompson

  But if I am the Maiden, what reason do I have left to push him away?

  And if I have no reason to push him away, why do I still want to?

  My thoughts tumble around in my head, chasing down every insecurity until I bolt off the bed: I need to walk. I promised not to meditate, but I need to put myself back into nature: into the real world rather than the man-made walls that surround me.

  If I am from the sky, I need to see the sky.

  The house is quiet and dark as I make my way down to the yard. I follow a path that leads to the cliff overlooking the water. The same cliff where only a few nights ago I asked Lexan to stay with me, and he agreed.

  I’ve been so selfish. I don’t know how to stop.

  The emotion pulsing through me condenses and focuses, floating a sudden answer into my mind, like the moon appearing from behind a mass of clouds. I will learn to use my grief and anger to access my power. I will fix what I have done wrong. I will return to Asphodel and help my people, who wait for their deliverance from a life of waiting.

  And then, I will discover what threatens our humanity in this outside world, and I will serve Justice there as well.

  Keirna did not kill my mother for nothing, and what she will get from me is also far from nothing.

  My arms shake as I lift them to the night sky. Tears wet my cheeks. The moon above winks from behind a wisp of cloud, and the moon reflected in the water below answers.

  I think about my mother, and for the first time in years, I begin to truly pray.

  As memorized words tumble from my lips, a burning ache of grief and sorrow spreads from my chest, through the veins in my outstretched arms and into my palms. Glancing at my hands, I’m amazed to see handfuls of orange and yellow flames resting in each palm, flickering in the night breeze. I feel the heat, but it isn’t painful. I bring my hands close to me and marvel at the fire I have created.

  The fire I have drawn from within myself.

  I am open, because my mother opened me. She saved me so I could save everyone.

  More tears slip down my cheeks, and I know, for the first time, that everyone was right about me. How could I have been so wrong?

  Footsteps crunch behind me, and I know exactly who is there.

  “Hello, Lexan,” I say, smiling up at the moon. My hands lift toward the heavens again, and I hear him gasp as he sees what I hold. He steps behind me and I feel the warm solidity of his body.

  His hands rest on my shoulders and the flames grow slightly.

  I tilt my head back and rest it on his collarbone. His hands slip forward and cover my sternum, his cool fingertips reaching toward my heart. A gust of wind seems to hollow my ribcage.

  “Let go of your control,” he whispers, his breath warm on my ear.

  I close my mind and open my heart. The flames in my palms shoot upward and arc toward each other, creating a half-circle, then a full circle. And then a giant ball of flame forms between my outstretched arms. Lexan trembles and turns his face from the heat, but he doesn’t let go. If anything, he pulls me closer to him.

  I toss my arms toward the moon and the fire shoots across the sky, arcing across the constellations before falling toward the lake below. The water splashes around it, and sizzling steam rises in a small cloud as the fire vanishes.

  I’ve forgotten to breathe, and now I’m panting with excitement and effort.

  Lexan’s chest is also rising and falling rapidly as he tries to regain the air which my fire has stolen from him. I suddenly feel chilled and drained. I turn into him for warmth.

  That’s when I see Stian, standing at the edge of the trees, watching us.

  His eyes connect with mine and I stiffen, expecting another argument or even fistfight. Lexan turns and I feel his body tense into a protective stance.

  “Stian, I—” I say.

  He shakes his head slowly. Before I can process what is happening, he sinks to one knee and bows his head to his thigh.

  “My Lady.” He whispers it, but the air is calm enough that the words carry to me.

  I don’t know what to do. I don’t want this kind of reverence, especially from Stian.

  Lexan leans down to whisper, “Go to him, Trea. We’ll figure out our powers as we go. But I know you want to be with him. I won’t stop you.”

  I open my mouth to protest, but he withdraws quickly onto the shadowed path. When he is no longer touching me, I feel even more cold and tired. Stian still kneels before me, and Lexan slips past him unnoticed.

  I stumble toward Stian and he lifts his eyes to meet mine. I stretch out a hand and pull him from his knees for a second time.

  “Don’t ever kneel for me again,” I say, softening the command with a smile.

  “I’m sorry…I just…that was incredible.” He seems stunned. “Do you know what this means? For our people?”

  I nod, the initial curls of embarrassment winding through my chest and heating my cheeks.

  “I promise I wasn’t trying to practice with him. He followed me here,” I say. I don’t want Stian to be angry with Lexan. Especially if he noticed where Lexan’s hands had been.

  “Tre, I’m sorry about earlier. I just get a little jealous.” He shakes his head, his eyes still wide in shock. “I watched the whole time, you know. Lexan followed you and I followed him. I can see that you need him to be more powerful.”

  I reach my arms around his neck. “But I need you, too.”

  He bends and brushes a soft kiss on my lips. “Good to know. Let’s go on back. We have a lot to do before we leave in the morning.”

  I yawn, suddenly exhausted. Calling this strange fire has taken most of my energy, and nearly all of my body heat. I cuddle against Stian and we walk back to Madna’s house hand in hand. When we reach my door, I impulsively pull him inside.

  “Will you stay with me? Keep me warm?”

  His eyes widen and I realize I might be misleading him. “I mean, keep me in your arms tonight?”

  He nods and we curl together on the bed. I pull the covers to my nose and sigh into his chest. I glance around me at this lovely, safe room that I will be leaving tomorrow. I will miss this feeling of security and contentment.

  Just before I drop into the nothingness of sleep, I notice that Mother’s letter rests on the dresser, folded back into neat thirds.

  This isn’t where I left it and a small feeling of unease corkscrews into my sleepy mind. The feeling follows me throughout the night as I toss and turn through a dark dream world, alternately pulling Stian close to me and shoving him away.

  FOUR

  Our stories are what make up our past, but also our future. This is why I write. If we do not remember what we have done and who we have been, it is harder to create a viable future. Our stories help us to remember the most important things about our lives. Our stories are our true salvation.

  From Personal Journal of First Leader Firene

  Published after her death, year 2170

  Stian is gone when I wake the next morning. But a small bouquet of creamy lilies rests on the pillow where his head had been. And beside that waits Madna’s journal.

  We leave today, and it is my turn to write my story.

  My heart pounds at the idea of putting my hopes into real words on tangible paper, for anyone to read later. What if someone discovers it? I shake my head. The idea of someone discovering Madna is ridiculous, really: she would only be found if she wanted to be.

  Stalling, I linger too long in the shower again, waiting for the burst of cold water to clarify me and crystallize my resolve. Other than the steady beat of spring rain on the windows, the house has been silent since I rose. I know I need to move faster so I can help the others prepare, but I’m just not ready to journey into the unknown again.

  Madna’s is safe and familiar and easy and that’s exactly why we have to go.

  I pull everything out of my pack and reorganize it, discarding my ragged clothing from Asphodel. I dress in lightweight cargo pants and a thin shirt, packing
several more of the same. I’ve used most of the supplies I started with. My knives get wrapped in new leathers and Mother’s letter finds a safe interior pocket next to the still-secret jewels and coins from Firene. Mother’s scarf is the last piece, and I wrap it around my shoulders for a moment, imagining I can still smell her incense smoke and lilies.

  Footsteps tap up the stairs and someone knocks. Zarea pokes her head into my room, her boots marking a damp spot on the floor. “The boys are almost done gathering the supplies.”

  “I’m almost finished,” I say, glancing around the room.

  “That’s pretty,” she says, gesturing toward the scarf in my hands.

  “It was my mother’s.” I turn away from her to hide the tears that pool in my eyes. “I’ll be down in a second.” I hear the door close and her footsteps echo away.

  Sighing, I reach for Madna’s journal and begin to write. Once I begin, the story flows from my fingers like one of Mother’s stories.

  My name is Astrea, and I am from the hidden cave city of Asphodel.

  Many people have taken years, spent resources, and lost lives looking for our city, and specifically for me. They have all hoped to claim my power for their own and rescue a dying world with an ancient story.

  I once thought I would disappoint them all. But here in the wilderness, I have seen the truth, however difficult and strange it may be for me to accept:

  I am the Starbright Maiden of Asphodel’s prophecy. The Lady of Justice.

  I have with me the Scale of Balance.

  Today we leave this safe house to travel in search of the great desert city of Tartarus. We hope to be granted audience with Lord Hadeon and win his support in our waiting battle with First Leader Keirna.

  Whatever our Fates have planned for us, know this: we are strong, and we are ready. We will learn your secrets, use the powers given to us, and conquer the evil that violated our world one hundred years ago, and which still waits to destroy what we have saved.

  And when we are finished, we will write our own stories, and create our own destinies so that others may do the same.

  I close the book with a snap of finality and set it on the dresser. I don’t look to see what Lexan has written, or if Stian or Zarea have added an entry. I’m tired of looking behind myself at every step: I’m ready for our future.

  Tucking the scarf safely inside the pack, I hoist it over my shoulders and hurry down the stairs. Excited voices drift across the lawn, coming from Madna’s large barn, and then a choked buzzing, rattling noise breaks into the morning air. Several birds break into frightened flight and shoot toward the cliffs.

  I sprint through the rain, my pack bumping awkwardly against my shoulders. In the barn, it takes my eyes several seconds to adjust to the shadows. Lexan is laughing and hugging Zarea. Stian gives a loud whoop and squeezes Madna’s broad shoulders. The source of the strange noise is a large metal contraption, shaking and puffing white steam into the humid morning air.

  “Tre!” Stian yells, finally noticing me. “Look what Madna has given us!”

  “What is it?” I call, making my way toward him. His face and arms are streaked with sweat and dirt.

  “A turn-of-last-century, hybrid solar-steam truck!” He is nearly bouncing with excitement, and I still have no idea why. Then he reaches inside the machine and twists something, and the noise blessedly stops. Now that I can focus, I can see the outside is painted in patches of browns and greens; it melts into the shadows if I don’t look directly at it. There’s an open part in back, and a partially enclosed area with seats.

  “Transportation,” he clarifies, as I jiggle a finger in my ear. “These are incredibly rare, but Madna said she was trying to fix it, and saving it for something special.”

  “I can’t think of much more special than the prophecy coming true,” she laughs in return. “Astrea, dear, it runs on sunshine. And if there’s no sunshine, it can run on heated water - steam. Most people before the Cleansing had something like this, although this one was used by the army, the warriors. It was found in an abandoned camp not long after the Cleansing, and kept hidden by our people ever since.”

  I run my fingers along the rough metal sides, finally starting to be impressed. Not necessarily with the truck’s history, but the dawning realization that I don’t have to walk to Tartarus. Two thousand miles across hills, valleys, mountains, and deserts suddenly seems possible.

  “I just have a few more adjustments to make and we’ll be ready,” Stian says. “I’m trying to make it quieter.”

  I nod, trying to hide a smile. “That would be helpful.”

  “They used to be silent, the stories say. But something’s wrong with the water filtration tank on this one and it keeps dumping the sludge back into the engine.”

  I nod again, like I have any idea what he’s talking about.

  Lexan takes my pack and stashes it inside the truck, then turns to me. “We’re not leaving until later this afternoon, so Stian can fix the truck. Rea and I are going to hunt for a few hours when the rain lets up. Want to come?”

  “Not really,” I laugh, and Zarea smiles. If Lexan is going to be okay with Stian and me, then I’m going to be okay with Zarea and Lexan. It actually makes me feel less guilty and conflicted to see him interested in a girl again: he seems more like the Lexan I knew before all of this strangeness happened.

  If his happiness is not my responsibility, perhaps I can find my way sooner.

  I follow Madna back into the house, where the air is cooler and less humid. I sit to eat breakfast, then busy myself with helping Madna clean. We have made quite a mess of her little house, and I want to help her set things right.

  “Thank you so much for everything, Madna,” I say as I dry dishes. “What would we have ever done without you?”

  She laughs, a tinkling sound, and says, “You would have survived, just like you are meant to. The Maiden is not meant to perish in the preparations for battle.”

  Her word – battle – sends a chill down my spine and our journey abruptly feels much more real. She’s only too right: warriors typically perish in battle, not before.

  Yet for all that we’ve been through, I still feel like the same girl who Brenn had to threaten to train. None of this can possibly be as bad as everyone thinks. Can it?

  Perhaps the Tribes are peaceful, Tartarus is content within its desert holdings, and Elysium is but a haze of mist at the edge of the world. Perhaps I will be free to dispatch Keirna, allow Asphodel to elect a new leader, and settle a simple life for myself somewhere in the midst.

  Perhaps.

  After placing the last dish in the cabinet, I grab a towel and climb the three flights of stairs to spend my final moments at Madna’s house in my favorite place – the bird-nest.

  Stian finds me there much later, after the sun has finally made an appearance in the lower half of the sky. I’m seated on the smooth wooden floor, hands balanced on each knee, small flames dancing in the slight breeze. I’ve been calling fire for hours, but have not been able to muster more than an inch or so of flame.

  He crouches next to me and passes a finger over the fire, flinching back as he learns it is no illusion. “That’s never going to stop being amazing,” he whispers.

  I smile at the sun and fist my fingers, feeling the warmth shrink away. “Is it time to go?”

  “We’re all ready. The truck is purring like a puppy now, and Lexan and Zarea killed a large buck for Madna. We wanted to replace some of what we’re taking with us.”

  I stare up at his grass-green eyes and wavy brown hair, and I’m grateful he is still mine. Right now, I think, I need him more than he needs me: even if we are complicated, I like knowing he’s there. I let him pull me to my feet and down the stairs.

  In the yard, Madna gathers me in a lingering hug. “Stay true to who you are inside, star-child,” she whispers in my ear, then pushes me toward the truck. I blink back the tears that pool in the corner of my eyes.

  She hugs Zarea and Stian quickly
. “Keep our future safe,” she warns, glaring at Stian for a long beat. They laugh, but I see a strange look cross over Zarea’s face, and I wonder if she isn’t resentful that the future rests in such inexperienced hands as mine.

  Last, Madna pulls Lexan to her and whispers something in his ear. He grins and his cheeks pinken before he bends to kiss her cheek, nodding.

  “Now, be off with you, while you still have some daylight! Those front-lights don’t work anymore.”

  We arrange ourselves in the vehicle. Stian is the only one who knows anything about how to drive, and Zarea has control of our maps. This leaves Lexan and me to sit behind the bench seat, on the bumpy floor of the truck. It looks like seats used to be there, but now all we have are several thick blankets and pillows to line the metal bottom. I feel a little like Lexan and I are riding on an uneven bed - one that is too awkwardly small for both of us.

  Zarea leans over her seat, eyeing me. “You two should hide under some blankets back there if we’re surprised by anyone. It won’t be easy to avoid travelers. Even though it’s a lot quieter now, we’ll still be traveling the old roads as much as possible, for the speed. No hiding in the forest until we stop at night.”

  I kneel up and wave to Madna as Stian starts the engine, which has been reduced to an almost pleasant rumble beneath us. We lurch forward and are gone, the tires squelching through the wet earth on a narrow trail I’ve never noticed. As we zigzag up the side of the small cliff, I watch out the back window as Madna grows smaller the farther away we are.

  Just as she has shrunk to the size of my hand in the back window, I see something moving at the back of her property.

  A horse bursts from the trees behind her house and a small rider throws himself down, embracing Madna.

  “Stian! Someone’s just arrived!” I say, keeping my eyes on Madna.