RunningScaredBN

by Christy Reece

  Since she knew he’d be a few minutes, Riley took the time to brush her teeth again and comb her hair. Although she didn’t own any perfume, Anna had given her some scented lotion for Christmas. Riley dabbed a little of it on her neck and at her wrists.

  She stood back and stared at her reflection. She saw a hint of fear in her eyes, but more than anything, there was anticipation. Being in Justin’s arms again, even for a few short hours, sounded wonderful to her.

  She took in her appearance, wishing she had something pretty to wear other than her sensible pj’s. Wishing even more that she had the courage to strip out of them and walk into the bedroom completely nude. She was brave in some things, but this wasn’t one of them. If she were on an op, she’d slip into a role and walk nude through a large metropolitan city without a flicker of embarrassment. This wasn’t a role. This was real life. And this was Justin, her partner, her friend. And so much more.

  Frustrated with herself, Riley jerked the door open and walked out. The instant she walked into the bedroom, an amazing calmness washed over her. Justin stood at the edge of the bed, waiting for her. His shirt was already off, and he was in the process of toeing off his shoes. He looked up at her and grinned, and she knew everything would be all right. Because this was Justin. Her partner, her friend. The man she had been secretly dreaming about forever was standing at the bed, waiting for her. Wanting her.

  Her heart pounding in anticipation…in need, she went to him.

  He took her hand, pulled her against him, and just held her. Riley closed her eyes at the glorious feeling of his hard, naked chest warming her. She drew in a breath, delighting in his male scent, savoring this incredible moment.

  His voice rumbled beneath her ear. “Are you as nervous as I am?”

  She raised her head to look at him. Having guarded her emotions for so long, admitting vulnerability was difficult for her. But with Justin it felt so easy, so right. “A little. Even though we’ve done this once before, for some reason this feels different. Does it seem that way to you?”

  “Yeah. Seems like I’ve been waiting forever for you.”

  Her heart glowed. Not just the words warmed her, but the emotion in his voice, the desire in his eyes.

  “But it also feels like it’s the most natural thing in the world.”

  “We’ve entrusted our lives to each other. This feels as natural as anything that’s ever happened before.”

  Any remaining nerves dissolved. She pressed a kiss against his chest and hugged him hard. “Yes.” She breathed the word against his skin.

  “Can I undress you?”

  She took a step back and gave him a look that told him everything he needed to know. She was his.

  Instead of pulling the top quickly over her head, his big hands slid down her hips and then moved back up slowly, lifting material as he went. Warm and callused, gentle yet insistent, his hands awakened and sensitized her skin. Riley closed her eyes, moaned at the sensation.

  Finally, the T-shirt came over her head. Then his hands moved in the other direction. Hooking his fingers in the waistband of her shorts, he tugged hard. She laughed softly, noting he was becoming much less patient now.

  Once she was completely nude and standing before him, she watched as Justin’s eyes roamed down her body. Riley told herself he wasn’t judging her, but still she felt her spine stiffen as she waited for his next words.

  “How could anyone so delicate-looking be so incredibly strong and brave?”

  Tears sprang to her eyes, and her throat clogged with emotion. She took a step forward and lost herself in his embrace.

  Justin groaned at the incredible woman in his arms. She felt small, delicate, so damn breakable. But that was window dressing. Beneath the façade of vulnerability was a resilient, determined, and courageous woman with a depth that he was just beginning to understand.

  There was so much he wanted to say to her, so many things he wanted to ask her. But that would have to wait for later. For right now, he wanted to shower her entire body with kisses and show her with his hands, mouth, his entire body, how very special she was to him.

  He led her to the bed. She sat down, and he took the time to unzip his jeans and drop them to the floor. He heard a gasp and grimaced. Hard as hell to hide that he was hard as hell.

  Her hands reached out and touched him, holding him in her palms. The concern that he had frightened her dissolved, and a wave of intense heat flooded him. His body told him to push her onto her back, cover her, and mate with her. Show her she was his…only his. His mind and his heart said no way in hell. This was Riley’s moment. If she wanted him to stand here all night while she explored his body, well, then, that’s what he’d damn well do. Of course, he’d probably die from need, but that was okay. Dying with the memory of her soft hands all over his body wouldn’t be a bad way to go.

  “Your hard and soft at the same time.”

  Any kind of coherent word was impossible. He thought he managed a grunt but wasn’t too sure. He looked down at her holding him and almost lost complete control. She looked both fascinated and turned on.

  “Riley,” he finally gritted out. “I need to—”

  “Shh,” she whispered. Leaning forward, she kissed him, and then her tongue came out to taste him. He pulled in a breath and held it, sure that he was going to explode.

  She looked up at him then, her eyes dancing with humor and not a little bit of wickedness. “You have amazing control.”

  “And you have a mean streak.”

  Laughing softly, she released him and scooted back on the bed. “Yes, I do. Want to find it?”

  His lungs exploded with air, and he followed her down on the bed. Having Riley tease and laugh was a delight. She wasn’t nervous or afraid of him. This was joyous loving, and he wanted to show her how damn good he could make her feel. His hands began their own exploration.

  Riley closed her eyes at the glorious feel of Justin’s hands. She was burning from the inside out, incinerating. He was everywhere at once, leaving a blazing trail of need as his hands moved over her. His mouth followed his hands, kissing, sipping, licking. Riley was squirming on the bed, stretching sensuously. Never had she felt more desirable, more feminine. More needed. Justin’s groans and words of adoration and praise made her feel cherished and wanted.

  He kissed her everywhere, from her mouth, to her chin, to the hollow of her throat. And with every kiss, her body responded with answering zings of heat and need. When he stopped to pay homage to each breast, his tongue encircling a nipple, she gasped at the sensations. But when his mouth covered her nipple and suckled, her entire body arched off the bed.

  “Justin…please.”

  “I’m just getting started,” he growled. And proved his words with actions as his hands and mouth continued their fiery exploration. He kissed her stomach, swirled his tongue in her belly button, and then moved down and stopped. She looked down at him. His eyes were glittering like hot coals, the heat in them amazing her. And then she saw the question, saw what he wanted. Without a hint of embarrassment, Riley opened her legs. The heated approval in his eyes brought tears to her own.

  And then all coherent thought dissolved into a tornadic, mind-altering experience beyond her imagination. He licked, kissed, suckled her into a need she had never imagined. An unfathomable vortex of heat and want whirled inside her, taking her to a place she’d never known existed. She was flung into the stars.

  Justin could wait no longer. He had to be inside her now, this second. Coming over her damp, heaving body, he propped himself above her and looked into her face. Even though she’d been incredibly responsive, he wanted to make sure this was still what she wanted. If he had to stop, he figured he’d die, but damned if he would scare her. What he saw in her face reassured him, and turned his heart over, too. Never had he seen such satisfaction or acceptance.

  His entire body rigid with need, he slid slowly, carefully into her heat and groaned at the fire consuming him. He told himself to go slo
w, easy…to be careful. This was just their second time together. He wanted her lost in passion, overwhelmed with need. Frightening her in anyway was something he could not bear.

  Riley demolished his concern. The instant he buried himself inside her, she wrapped her legs around his waist, settled her hands on his ass, and pulled him in even deeper. Even if a freight train had crashed into the bedroom, he couldn’t have stopped. Plunging, retreating, and plunging again, he gave her everything he had. In return, she gave him her all.

  And with a shout, perhaps of victory, but mostly surrender, Justin exploded into bliss.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Hours later, Riley woke. The feel of strong arms holding her didn’t scare her. The sound of shallow breathing was a comfort, the soft snore in her ear a surprising delight. The man in her bed was Justin Kelly. Never had she felt so safe, so treasured. So whole.

  “Everything okay?”

  His gruff, sleep-filled voice caused all sorts of delicious shivers throughout her system.

  “Everything’s wonderful. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

  His arms tightened around her. “Having trouble sleeping?”

  “Not really.”

  She bit her lip as she remembered what Eden and McKenna had told her hours earlier. Could she get the poison out of her once and for all? Could Justin handle it? Was he ready to learn things she’d never told another living soul? Things that kept her awake, cringing with mortification and soul-wrenching pain? Could she handle him knowing?

  She took a breath, let it out slowly, and said, “He made me bark like a dog.” The whispered confession took every bit of her strength.

  She knew he was awake, that he had heard her. His body was rigid, and he seemed to have stopped breathing. His single strangled, “Fuck,” conveyed both rage and pain.

  She closed her eyes for a brief second. Lance it like a sore. That’s what they told her. Be quick but get all the poison out.

  “That was for his amusement. Bark, meow, other animal sounds. He made me crawl. A lot at first, but when I started developing blisters and scabs on my knees, he told me to stop. Said they marred my beauty.

  “I don’t know how many times he raped me. I was a virgin, of course. Had never even been kissed. My parents, or whatever the hell they were, forbade me from having any kind of friends, much less boyfriends.

  “I knew about sex, of course. Human anatomy was part of my learning curriculum. That included reproduction. But I never knew more than that. Until him.”

  “That was probably part of the plan.”

  “How so?”

  “The bastard wanted you as innocent as possible.”

  “Well, he got his money’s worth.”

  She forced herself to continue. “He’s, I guess, what you’d call a classic sadist. Hurting me turned him on. Whippings with belts and canes were his favorites. He said he didn’t want to mar me, though—spoil my beauty. So he never went beyond bruising me.

  “When he punished me, he never used his hands to beat or whip me. I think he knew he would go too far. His punishments were physical discomfort and humiliation. He’d lock me up for days in my room. Keep the electricity off so the only light came from sunlight. Sometimes, he’d starve me with a bread-and-water diet. Occasionally, a protein milkshake, if he thought I was getting too skinny.”

  She swallowed hard. “The box was the worst.”

  “Box?”

  “It was his most severe punishment. Infractions like not saying ‘yes, sir’ or not answering quickly enough. It was four-by-four-by-four.”

  “So you weren’t able to stand.”

  “No. At first, there was only a small air hole. I passed out once. Maybe even stopped breathing. He had three more holes drilled.”

  “How considerate.”

  The bitter sarcasm made her smile. Which seemed totally incongruent with what she was telling him. She realized Eden and McKenna were so right. Getting the poison out was freeing.

  “The scars?”

  “I said he never punished me in anger. But he did once.” She laughed, though it was a thick, awkward sound, almost unrecognizable as humor. “I was so very stupid. So incredibly naïve. I had convinced myself that my parents didn’t realize they’d given me to a monster. I lied to myself that they cared about me, that if they knew how horribly I was being treated, they would do something. Come for me. Rescue me.” She shook her head. “Sometimes it amazes me how very stupid and ignorant I was.”

  “What happened?”

  “I swiped a cellphone from one of the guard’s pockets. Ran to a closet, shut myself in, and called my mother. She sounded genuinely shocked when I told her what Dimitri had been doing to me. It was only later that I realized the shock came from me calling her, not because of his treatment.”

  “What did she say?”

  “That she was horrified. That she’d believed that because Dimitri was so wealthy, I would have everything they couldn’t afford to give me.” She sat up in bed and covered her face with her hands. “Can you believe I fell for that? How stupid can one girl be?”

  “Not stupid. Innocent.”

  “Yeah, well, not after that I wasn’t.”

  “What happened?”

  “She told me to go to my room, that she would tell my father, and they would come for me. I didn’t question how she would get me away, how she knew where I was. I knew I was living on borrowed time. People would soon notice I was missing.

  “I was smart enough to mute the ringer of the cellphone and hide it beneath a potted plant in the foyer. I thought if something didn’t work out, I’d go back for it.

  “I went to my room and waited. Dimitri arrived within the hour.”

  “She called him.”

  “Of course she did. And he was livid. I’d never seen him so angry. He told me my punishment would be beyond anything I’d ever experienced. He was right.

  “He carried me to the punishment room, tied me to the whipping post. I’d been there before. Even though I dreaded what came next, I thought I knew what to expect. Turns out, I didn’t.

  “He left me alone. The lights went off. It was silent, quiet for a long time. Then the sounds started. The first ones were rats. At least I think they were. It sounded like there were hundreds of them. That lasted for I don’t know how long. Then there was total silence. A little while later, it was snakes. I could hear them slithering around, hissing and spitting. That lasted awhile, and then the rats returned. I finally realized they were just sound effects. But there was always that horror that at some point I’d feel that first bite.

  “I don’t know how long I hung there. A long time. By the time he returned, I’d urinated, defecated, and thrown up. The stench was hideous. My eyes were swollen shut from crying.

  “The lights came on suddenly. Blinding me. When I was finally able to focus, he stood before me with a whip. He’d never beat me with one before. I was barely conscious, but I remember feeling vaguely relieved, thinking the total darkness and sounds were the worst part. I knew the pain would be horrific, but he had never drawn blood before. That changed that night.

  “I don’t know how many lashes he gave me. I passed out long before he finished. When I woke up, I was in bed, and my entire body was on fire. I was covered in bandages.”

  She swallowed hard, suddenly realizing her throat was parched.

  As usual, as if he could read her mind, Justin said, “Hold on.” He jumped out of bed and seconds later returned with a chilled bottle of water.

  “Thanks.” She took a long swallow.

  “What happened after that?”

  “I didn’t see him for weeks. I figured he decided he no longer wanted me. I was scarred, no longer his beautiful doll.”

  “But he did come back, didn’t he?”

  “Unfortunately, yes. He told me the scars were a good reminder that there were worse things than our everyday encounters. He said if I ever tried to contact anyone again, I might not survive the punishment. I knew he was
telling the truth.

  “After that, we went on as if it had never happened. I submitted to whatever he wanted. I learned to go someplace else in my mind. I convinced myself there was no hope. No way out. That this was my life.”

  “But you did escape.”

  “Yes. On my twenty-first birthday, I gave myself a present and finally left.”

  “Why then?”

  “He held a special dinner party. I had attended a few in the past.” Her voice quivered, but she found her control and continued, her voice harder. “For entertainment purposes.

  “But I wasn’t asked to do anything other than sit and look properly submissive. When dessert arrived, bottles of champagne were opened. Dimitri raised a glass and announced that I was to be his bride. I had apparently passed some sort of test for him, and he’d decided he was going to keep me. He also announced that he would make sure that by the time my next birthday rolled around, I would be…heavy with his child.”

  “Oh hell no.”

  “I could not let that happen. I might not have had the courage to escape just for me, but I was not going to expose a baby, an innocent child, to that fiend. So I took a chance. Hid in a dinner cart that the servants pushed into the kitchen. And that was that.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know how I did it, really. Never thought I’d find the courage to escape. I was weak, scared. I’m not sure how long I walked, and of course, I had no idea where I was going. I only knew that if I didn’t leave, I would have to kill myself. No way in hell was I going to be his wife or have his child. I thought maybe at some point I’d just find a place, curl up, and die. That sounded so incredibly peaceful. A release.”

  “You stowed away on a ship. How’d you get on it?”

  “It was a cruise ship. I’d spotted a ferry and thought that would’ve been my best bet. But it started backing away from the pier. I thought I was doomed. Then I saw the cruise ship and headed that way. It was enormous and I thought surely one little person could hide in it and not get caught.

  “This large family…there must’ve been a dozen of them, half of them teenagers, were boarding the ship. There was a man standing at the entrance, waiting for passports. The man, the father I guess, was so harried and frazzled, he just shoved a dozen passports at the guy, and then, all at once, everyone swarmed onto the walkway. No one noticed that I was in the middle of them.”