Mary, Mary

by Lesley Crewe

  “You were.”

  “The marijuana actually helped. I’ve been so lonely and sad and miserable with this cast on and my back always aching. It’s been rough. Only now do I feel better. I got out of bed this morning and noticed my back didn’t twinge. And I get my cast off tomorrow. That will be a huge relief.”

  “There’s something else I want you to ask the doctor about. You should be checked for sleep apnea. Your snoring has gotten so much worse. I could hardly sleep last night.”

  “It’s that bad?”

  “Do you feel tired all the time?”

  “Yes, but I thought that was all the drugs I’ve been taking.”

  “Just do this for me. You can thank me later.”

  “Fine. You, on the other hand, look like a million bucks. I hate you for that.”

  Ted took a sip of his coffee. “I can assure you, I’m not on vacation over there. It’s a completely different world; it brings me to tears most days. The only reason I want to stick with it is because they are so desperate for people with medical experience. I really have to go back. I told them I would. And I’ll be home by the end of the year. I won’t make any more decisions without you.”

  Peggy sighed. “Is it wrong for me to feel left behind? Especially now that Sheena is leaving town?”

  “Of course it will seem lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. You should explore what’s out there. Take up a hobby. Volunteer. Do things you’ve never had a chance to do before. You might like it. Change is good, Peggy. And we were definitely in a rut.”

  “That’s true.”

  “So let’s change things up.”

  “Wanna smoke a joint and go to bed?”

  “What about your back?”

  “You can do the heavy lifting.”

  Mary went to work at noon. Everyone noticed she wasn’t wearing glasses, even her customers. So how was it that her mom and Gran still hadn’t said anything about it? It was probably just because they were hungover, but it bugged Mary to no end. It was like she was part of the furniture to them. Nothing she ever did produced a serious reaction. Was it because she never did anything worth noting?

  As she pulled the groceries towards her one after the other in a hypnotic rhythm, she came to the conclusion that for twenty-three years she’d been living like a dull twelve year old. Mary couldn’t remember being young and carefree as a kid. There was always too much hollering and upset in the house. Since she didn’t have a dad to intervene, she was constantly aware that she needed to be on call in case her grandmother messed up and her mother went into a rage about it. Mary was the buffer between them and they didn’t even appreciate it.

  At least ditzy Sheena had goals, even if they were only to get a man and have a wedding. But she’d accomplished them. What had Mary ever wanted, besides Roscoe? And Daniel, but she couldn’t have him. If she wasn’t careful, one day she’d be alone with her face in a plate of creamed peas on toast.

  Someone was speaking to her. She shook her head and focused her eyes on…Daniel. He was holding a jumbo box of Captain Crunch and a quart of milk.

  “Sorry! I didn’t see you.”

  “You okay?”

  She was about to say she was fine, but there was no one behind him in the line up. “Actually, I’m not. Is there any way you can meet me later? I get off work at five. I shouldn’t be bothering you, but there’s no one I can talk to.”

  He looked concerned. “Sure, that’s not a problem. Do you want me to pick you up? Amber is at her sister’s baby shower tonight. We can go somewhere and grab a coffee.”

  “That would be great. Thank you so much.”

  She rang in his items and gave him his change. He smiled. “You look great without glasses, by the way. Now I can see your gorgeous eyes.”

  Mary felt herself blush. “Thanks.”

  “See ya.”

  Mary counted down the minutes all afternoon. Normally she was calm and patient at her job, but such was her desire to break free today, that she wasn’t her usual pleasant self. She smiled at people, but she didn’t speak unless she had to. Eventually Janet sidled up to her.

  “This is the first time I’ve ever seen you unhappy. Is everything all right?”

  “I’ll be okay. I just don’t feel like being here right now.”

  “God. I feel like that every day. You’re always my little ray of sunshine.”

  “Janet, did you bring your nice red sweater with you today?”

  “It’s in my locker.”

  “Could I borrow it tonight?”

  “Yes! Girl, how many times have I told you to wear some colour?”

  Mary hurried closing up her cash, grabbed Janet’s sweater, and went into the ladies’ room. She scrubbed her face, brushed her teeth, and took her hair out of her ponytail. She put on the sweater and even she could see it brought colour to her cheeks. For once she didn’t look like a little kid. She left the bathroom and went to grab her coat. Janet looked at her.

  “Holy Hannah! You look good! Just a sec.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a lipstick. “It’s the same shade as the sweater.”

  Mary took it and applied it in front of a small mirror on the wall. “I’ve never worn lipstick before, except at the wedding yesterday.”

  “Well, get yourself to Shoppers Drug Mart and buy one. You have lips that need showing off.”

  Mary realized she looked like her favourite customer with her wacky lip colour. It was exactly the look she was going for. She thanked her fairy godmother and raced down the stairs.

  There he was, waiting in his truck near the entrance. She hurried over and climbed in.

  “Hi.”

  He didn’t say anything, just stared at her. She worried she had something in her teeth.

  “Is it still okay if we go?” she asked.

  “Yes! Sorry. You look different…I mean…amazing.”

  She grinned. “Thanks.”

  “Where would you like to go?”

  “Anywhere.”

  They didn’t go far. They ended up in a quiet corner at Starbucks, drinking coffee and eating lemon loaf.

  “What happened today?” he asked. “You looked upset this morning.”

  “Have you ever had a moment when you wondered what you’re doing with your life?”

  He chuckled. “Every second day.”

  “It hit me that I never do anything unexpected. I don’t rock the boat. I don’t make waves. I stay in my corner and try not to get in trouble. And I realized the only fun I’ve had ever is when we were exchanging drugs and you kissed me on the porch! How pathetic is that?”

  “You’re a nice girl.”

  “That’s what everyone says! I don’t want to be a nice girl.”

  “You don’t realize how few nice people there are out there. Your niceness is what made my grandmother love you. There’s so little kindness in the world. There’s nothing wrong with being nice, Mary. I wish Amber were nice. Or nicer to me at least.” He looked away and she watched him struggle with his feelings. “I have no business being here with you, because I think you’re lovely, and given half a chance, I’d take you in my arms and never let go.”

  “And I’m saying that I’m always the girl who does the right thing. And I don’t want to do the right thing. Now tell me. Is that wrong?”

  He pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get out of here.”

  They drove to a quiet dead-end spot and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It was frantic and steamy. Mary had never had such fun in her life, and she was amazed at how well she did. Obviously watching HBO had helped. She cried out, she moaned, she giggled, and when the finale arrived, she got an A+ on her first try.

  The cab was about a hundred degrees when it finally stopped rocking. As beads of sweat ran down their faces, they looked at each other with surprise and wonder.
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  “Am I still a nice girl?”

  “You are the baddest girl I’ve ever met.”

  Mary raised her arm in triumph. “Yes!”

  Ted drove Peggy to the hospital and took the cast off her arm. As he cracked open the hard, dirty shell, she said, “This is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me.” She sighed. “God, this feels good.”

  He laughed and gave it a final push. She pulled out her arm and looked at it in horror. “My God, it’s so skinny and awful looking! Do they always look like this? Is something wrong?”

  “Your arm has been through the wringer. It’ll get much better over the coming days. I’m just going to wrap it for now so you don’t damage it.”

  “Wait…I have to scratch it first.”

  Peggy took great pleasure in rubbing her nails up and down her poor sickly skin. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. This is heaven.”

  Even better was walking out of the hospital feeling as light as a feather. She swung her arm at her side and relished the feeling of freedom. It was like walking in shoes for the first time after months of winter boots.

  Peggy called to tell Carole that, since it was Ted’s last night home, he wanted to treat the whole family to dinner. She told her sister to wrangle the troops and meet them at Kiju’s Restaurant in Membertou at seven.

  Carole hung up and yelled from the kitchen. “We’re going to dinner tonight at seven. One last expensive gesture from Teddy boy.”

  “Seven?” Ethel fired back. “I eat supper at four. I ain’t goin’.”

  “You are so going! It’s Ted’s last night here.”

  “That’s his problem.”

  “Did you hear me?” Carole shouted louder.

  “I heard you!” Mary hollered back from her bedroom. “I’m sure they heard you upstairs too.”

  “Make sure you order a couple of appetizers and some dessert. We can wrap them up and take them home.”

  “Classy, Mom.”

  Carole immediately got up and walked to Mary’s bedroom door. “I’ll thank you not to take that tone with me.”

  Mary kept brushing Roscoe, who was loving his new grooming tool. “There is no other tone to take. Who tells someone to order more food so they can haul it back to their house? That’s rude. Isn’t it enough they’re paying for our dinners?”

  “What has gotten into you lately? Everything I say, you bite my head off.”

  Mary got off the bed and stood in front of her mother. “You are never grateful for anything. You make snide remarks about Aunt Peggy and Uncle Ted all the time. They are unfailingly generous with us but you turn up your nose, saying it’s charity or that they’re trying to lord it over us somehow.” Mary’s heart was pounding as she picked up momentum. “Where would we be without them? Why don’t you accept anything gracefully? Why can’t you be happy? Why do you insist everyone else be as miserable as you?”

  Carole slapped Mary hard across the face. Mary stood there and never took her eyes off her mother. Carole turned and disappeared behind her bedroom door.

  Gran crept down the hall and looked at Mary with big eyes.

  “You okay?”

  Mary sighed. “Yes, Gran. I’m always okay.”

  Once again, Peggy and Sheena stood together and waved goodbye to Ted at the airport.

  Sheena held on to her dad for a long time. “Thank you so much for coming back. It made the wedding really special for me.”

  “I only have one daughter. I’m happy I made it. Don’t fret so much about moving to Halifax. This is the beginning of a new chapter. And don’t worry about your mom; she’s stronger than you think.”

  Peggy held on to him too. “Thank you for coming home for the wedding.”

  “I only have one daughter. I’m happy I made it. Don’t fret so much about Sheena moving to Halifax. This is the beginning of a new chapter for both of you. She’s stronger than you think.”

  Two hours later, they waved Drew goodbye from the house. He came over, his car packed with his belongings, ready for his trip to Halifax. He walked over to Peggy and hugged her tightly.

  “Thanks for all your help with the wedding and everything. We really appreciate it.”

  “No problem. We’ll spend the week getting her stuff organized for the short term. The rest of her things can stay here until you find somewhere to live.”

  “Sheena, Dad said to just go over to the dealership tomorrow to sign the papers for the new Jeep. He’s already got a buyer for your old one.”

  “Okay, I will.” She smiled. “Love you, Mr. Corbett.”

  “Love you too, Mrs. Corbett.”

  They kissed long and hard before he got in the car. They waved until they couldn’t see him anymore. Sheena turned to her mother. “I don’t like being called Mrs. Corbett.”

  “Don’t worry. No one will call you that. You’d be surprised how few times in your life it happens.”

  Peggy set about making tuna sandwiches for lunch. Sheena was texting at the island, then suddenly stopped. “What do you think was going on between Mary and Aunt Carole at the restaurant last night?”

  “They were pretty quiet.”

  “Yeah. Did you notice how nice Mary looks without her glasses? She was even wearing lipstick.”

  Peggy nodded as she cut the sandwiches and put them on plates. “I did notice that. I mentioned it, too. She really is a stunning girl. You should give her some advice about clothes.”

  “She never wanted any before, but I’ll ask her over when I’m cleaning out my closet. Maybe she’d like a few things.”

  “That’s very sweet of you, honey.” She placed a plate in front of her daughter.

  Sheena smiled and took a bite of sandwich. “Did you give her the money for contacts?”

  Peggy sipped her milk. “No….” Sheena gave her a look. “Okay, yes. But don’t tell Carole.”

  “My lips are sealed.”

  True to her word, Sheena did invite Mary over one night that week, which was a surprise for Mary. Her and Sheena usually only saw each other when their mothers were together or at family functions. She wasn’t sure what was up. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that her cousin was moving away.

  When she arrived, Aunt Peggy hugged her and told her to go up to Sheena’s room. When she got there all of Sheena’s clothes were strewn over the room, with most of the stuff on the floor. Sheena was on her knees digging through it.

  “Hi…” Mary said uncertainly. “Were you robbed?”

  “Oh, hi, Mary. Come sit down.”

  “Okay…but if you asked me over here to help with your laundry, I’m leaving.”

  “No. I have to sort through my stuff and figure out what I’m taking with me to Halifax and what’s staying behind for now. Who knows how long it will be before we find a place to live?”

  Mary joined her on the floor. “Are you excited?”

  “I guess, but it’ll be hard to leave.”

  “I can’t imagine that. I wish I had somewhere to go.”

  Sheena stopped in the middle of folding a cashmere sweater and gave Mary a long look. “Is it hard living with Gran?”

  “It’s hard living with my mother. Gran can be annoying, but she’s harmless. Until you add my mother and then the two of them go at it. It’s like living with toddlers. I have a constant headache.”

  “I never really thought about how it must be for you. Why don’t you leave? Get your own place?”

  “I don’t make a lot of money at the grocery store. I’m thinking of going back to school, but I’m not sure what I want to do. Whatever it is, it better pay me enough to leave home.”

  “When I move to Halifax, maybe you can come and visit me. That would get you out of the house. I’m sure my mom will be coming up every second weekend, so you can hitch a ride with her.”

  “Than
ks! I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “In the meantime there’s lots of things I’m giving to Goodwill. Stuff I haven’t worn in ages or don’t want anymore. Go through the pile and take whatever you like. You have got to stop wearing only black or white T-shirts.” Sheena gave her an appraising look. “You’re beautiful, Mary. Dress like it.”

  Mary spent three hours sorting through Sheena’s clothes. Mary tried on a few items here and there and her cousin told her what looked good and what didn’t. They were at it so long, Aunt Peggy arrived with drinks, crackers, and cheese dip. Then she sat and offered up opinions.

  By the time Mary left, she had two huge garbage bags full of clothes, most of them hardly worn twice. She put them in the trunk of her car and stood under the chilly April night sky. Her aunt and cousin were on the doorstep, holding their arms over their chests against the chill.

  “Thank you. I….” Mary was lost for words. She wasn’t used to being fussed over.

  Aunt Peggy gestured for her to come over for a hug. “It’s our pleasure, sweetheart. Anything for you.”

  Even Sheena hugged her. “If I don’t see you before I go, don’t forget to come visit me.”

  Mary stopped and bought a small coffee on the drive home, then took it back to the car and drank it in the parking lot.

  Something broke inside. Her eyes filled with tears. Aunt Peggy and Sheena had shown her that she was worthy of nice things. And Daniel had shown her that she deserved to be loved.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Carole and Ethel took their frozen dinners out into the living room to watch Dr. Phil. Today’s episode was about a freeloading son who wouldn’t get a job or do any work around the house and stole money from his parents.

  “You watch,” Carole said. “It’ll be the mother’s fault. It’s always the mother’s fault.”

  Ethel ate a forkful of mashed potato. “It generally is.”

  “Well, it is in your case.”

  “Hold your horses. You have a job, you work around the house—sort of—and you don’t steal money from me, as far as I know. So it looks like I did a great job.”