Ryder shook his head and grinned. “Well, yeah, darlin’, you could at that. But you’re going to have to be the one who tells Lynn.”
Ryder looked at Ashley and noticed that she’d clenched her hands in her lap. “Anxious?” he asked.
Ashley’s response was a shaky smile. “Wouldn’t you be?”
“I reckon so. But I think you’ll like my family, once you get to know them. Lynn can be a handful, but she’s got a big heart and she’s kind and loyal. Deke. well, you’ve met him. He’s pretty much like you’ve seen. Easygoing and full of himself. Jake’s a little harder to get to know. He doesn’t say too much, so don’t think he doesn’t want you there.”
“I’ll try to remember that,” Ashley replied.
Ryder nodded. “We’re here.”
Nine
Ryder turned down a blacktopped road. It wound up a hillside, trees lining both sides of it. When they cleared, there was a large wood-and-iron sign welcoming visitors to the Bar M Ranch.
As the truck came over a small ridge, Ashley saw fenced pastures and several large outbuildings. There was also a narrow airstrip with a Cessna parked outside a hangar. It quickly became apparent that Ryder hadn’t truly impressed upon her bow large their operation really was. This wasn’t a just family-run business; it was a small dynasty.
Ashley watched as they passed fenced pastures, a gigantic barn and what looked like a long row of stalls. When she caught a glimpse of the main house, her breath caught. She’d had no idea that his family’s ranch was so immense or that he lived in such a beautiful home. The large ranch-style structure was extremely well kept. It sat nestled in a small grove of trees, a neat flower garden adorning it
“Oh, my, it’s beautiful here. And what a lovely home.”
“Thanks. My dad built it when I was fifteen. My parents only lived in it for a few months before they were killed.” He pulled to a stop in front of the house.
Ryder hadn’t told her how his parents had died, and it seemed apparent from his tone that he wasn’t used to talking about them. She wondered if he was always so quiet about things that bothered him.
“It’s magnificent,” she said, taking in her surroundings.
“Do you keep horses or cattle?” she asked.
“Both.” Ryder opened his door, then came around for her. “We started out with cattle, then got into horses as a side business. We train quarter horses.”
“I’m impressed,” she said with all honesty. Ryder gave her a fleeting smile, which momentarily turned his mustache up at the corners.
“We do our best.”
Before Ashley could say anything else, a young woman came out of the front door and hurried down the steps. She was definitely a McCall. She had most of the markings, blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes and a friendly smile. She wasn’t striking, but she was pretty and petite. Ashley was warmed by the way her eyes lit with enthusiasm.
“Hi! You’ve got to be Ashley. Ryder’s told us about you, but not nearly enough.” She shot her brother an affectionate look.
Ryder put his arm around his sister. “This is Lynn, the brat of the family.” Lynn socked him in the arm and he winced. “Behave.” He playfully smacked her on her fanny. “This is Ashley Bennett.”
“I’m so happy to meet you,” Lynn said, grinning while she rubbed her backside.
“Thank you for having me. I hope you didn’t go to any trouble on my account,” Ashley said. It was obvious the two had a lot of love between them. Though she thought it was wonderful, in a strange way she felt saddened, also. She was reminded again of how much she’d missed by not growing up with a loving family.
Lynn linked her arm with Ashley’s and ushered her toward the door, talking as if she’d known Ashley all her life. Ashley was quite startled by Lynn’s warm welcome and caught only her last sentence before she stopped talking.
“I’ve been so excited about meeting you.”
Ashley glanced back at Ryder, who was walking close behind them. She wasn’t used to someone so warmhearted and cordial. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too.” And it was. She envied Lynn’s passionate personality. Growing up, Ashley had never been allowed to express herself so freely. She had a feeling they could easily be friends.
Lynn showed her around the house. It was a sprawling structure with six bedrooms. Exposed beams supported the ceiling in the den, which also had a stone fireplace. The kitchen was rather large and had all the modern appliances. Ryder trailed behind them, his boots pounding against the immaculate wood floors.
Chatting away, Lynn led the way to the bedroom she’d prepared. Ashley felt Ryder’s hand on her back as they stepped into the room. Shivers ran up her spine, reminding her of all the things he made her feel, how much she wanted him...and that she could easily lose her heart to him.
“Deke already put your bags in here. He arrived a little while ago,” Lynn informed her. She turned and gave Ashley a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She smiled and looked genuinely happy.
“Thank you,” Ashley replied, a little taken aback by Lynn’s impulsive show of emotion. She had grown up without any display of affection. This was going to take some getting used to.
“Take your time unpacking. When you’re done, I’ll show you around the ranch.”
“She might be tired, Lynn,” Ryder interjected, reading Ashley’s bewildered expression. “Give her a chance to breathe.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lynn apologized quickly, then touched Ashley’s shoulder with her hand. “Of course you are. Please let me know if you need anything. All of us want you to feel at home here. I’ll leave you in my brother’s good hands.” Her eyes sparkled as she gave him a wink. “We can visit more later.”
Ashley assured her she would, and Lynn left Once again Ashley was alone in a bedroom with Ryder McCall. She took a deep breath as she turned to face him, feeling as if she’d been caught in a whirlwind and was just coming down from it For such a small, delicate person, Lynn McCall was like a little ball of fire. “Well, your sister is certainly...” She hesitated, searching for the right word.
“Overwhelming,” Ryder finished for her. “I tried to warn you.” His gaze slid away from hers. He hoped she didn’t take offense at Lynn’s manner. He’d never known anyone his sister couldn’t get along with, except maybe their foreman. “She takes some getting used to.”
Ashley smiled at him as his gaze came back to her. “She’s very nice. And very pretty. You all look quite a lot alike.”
“You haven’t met Jake, yet,” Ryder said, thinking of his older brother. “His eyes are brown and his hair is dark brown. All of us joke about him being left on the doorstep and adopted.” He grinned at her. “Actually, he’s the only one who takes after my father’s side of the family. The rest of us look like our mother.”
Ashley nodded as she walked around the room to familiarize herself. “Is this a picture of your parents?” she asked, noticing a framed photograph on the dresser.
“Yeah. It’s the last picture they had taken together before they were killed in a plane crash.”
Ashley moved closer to him to see the photo. His parents looked so happy. And much too young to have died. “I’m sorry. I know it must have been hard on all of you,” she said, her voice nearly a whisper. She had a feeling that it had been especially hard for him. It seemed to her that even though many years had passed, he still felt a tremendous amount of sorrow.
“Mostly for Jake,” Ryder told her. “He quit college to raise us and keep the ranch going.”
“I’m sure your parents would have been very proud of all of you.”
Ryder looked away. “Yeah.” Without saying anything more, he shifted his stance, then tucked his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “I thought maybe you’d want to rest for a while,” he suggested, changing the subject.
Ashley touched her stomach, as the baby chose that moment to stir. She wore a thin pair of cotton slacks and could feel her belly move slightly. Her surprise registered on her face
and her eyes flew up to meet Ryder’s.
“What is it?” he asked. His gaze fell to where her hand rested. Immediately he was alarmed. “Maybe you should sit down,” he suggested, unsure of what to do.
Before she had a chance to answer, he was beside her and guiding her to the bed. “I’m fine, really,” Ashley insisted, amused by his reaction.
Ryder sat on the bed beside her, his weight shifting her closer to him. He slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Are you sure?” The look on her face had about scared him half to death.
Ashley turned to look at him, her heart pounding from all the emotions bouncing around inside her. If experiencing the baby’s movement wasn’t enough, his nearness was sending shock waves straight to her heart. When she looked into his blue eyes, her breath caught.
“What was it? Is the baby okay?”
Ashley shook her head, her gaze never leaving his. “The baby moved. I’m not quite used to it yet.” She marveled at how it made her feel. It was scary, yet exciting.
“You can feel the baby moving already?” Ryder asked and sounded amazed.
“Not all the time. So when he does, he surprises me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Would you like to feel it?” she asked.
“I guess.” Ryder was still a little anxious about all this baby stuff. Until now, the baby seemed unreal, though he knew that was just his way of dealing with it.
Ashley took his hand and gently pressed it to her stomach. “He doesn’t move very often yet,” she told him again, not wanting him to be disappointed.
“He?” Ryder repeated, his mind more on Ashley than the baby they’d created. He moved closer, close enough to breathe in the essence of her. His response to touching her was immediate. Blood thickened in his veins, making his heart pound even harder. He wanted, needed to take her mouth with his.
Ashley’s gaze dropped to his lips, which were mere inches from hers. “Um. I don’t really know. That’s just how I refer to the baby.”
The baby hadn’t moved again, yet Ryder kept his hand on her belly, not wanting to end the intimacy between them. He knew it was crazy, but he just had to taste her again—just for a moment.
He whispered her name, then bent to touch his mouth to hers, expecting her to resist. Her eyelids lowered, and she didn’t pull away, didn’t move an inch. Ryder traced her lips with his tongue. “Open your mouth for me,” he whispered, his voice low and thick.
Ashley complied as he slipped his tongue past her teeth to taste her fully. She moved closer to him, and he deepened the kiss, completely covering her mouth with his. His blood warmed. He wondered how he ever thought he’d be able to live without touching her, kissing her, making love to her. He lifted his mouth and began to trace kisses down her throat, knowing he should pull away, but unable to make himself do so.
He started to take her mouth again when he felt her stomach move. Instantly Ryder pulled away and stood, distancing himself from her as he silently cursed himself. He’d forgotten about the baby. All he’d been thinking about was wanting Ashley, being inside her. This was crazy! He felt as if he was on a roller-coaster ride and wasn’t able to get off.
Ashley froze, stunned by his reaction. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d want to experience the baby moving.” She’d learned her lesson. She wouldn’t press him again.
“It isn’t that,” Ryder said, unable to express what he was feeling. “Well, not exactly.”
Ashley wanted to ask what exactly it was, but caught herself. It was obvious that he wasn’t really ready to accept the baby into his heart or his life. He’d said he wanted to help her through the pregnancy. Now she knew that his offer had just been lip service. From this point on, she wouldn’t count on him at all.
“I’m really tired. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll rest awhile.” She didn’t even look at him.
Ryder moved toward the door, aware that he’d hurt her. He couldn’t find the words at that moment to explain his behavior. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was feeling anymore. “I’ll check on you later.”
“That isn’t necessary. I’ll come down in a little bit.” Ryder left the room, his expression grim.
Well, hell! It seemed that when it came to Ashley, he couldn’t do or say anything right. He hadn’t meant to react that way when the baby moved. It had just surprised him, that’s all. He’d been thinking of making love to her, and the baby moving had been like a bucket of cold water dumped over him.
Ryder stormed through the house, passing through the back porch and out the back door, slamming it behind him. He didn’t stop until he was at the barn. He saddled his horse, mounted and took off, deciding to spend a few hours riding range. He wasn’t fit company and he needed some time to think.
Hours later he rode back in, feeling as if he’d wasted his time. Though he’d checked the fences around the south pasture and noted a couple of places that needed repair, he hadn’t come to terms with what he was going to do about his feelings for Ashley.
It was strange. The days he hadn’t seen her had slowly driven him crazy. He’d tried to stay busy and keep his mind on his work, but she’d always been in his thoughts. Ryder had told himself that once she was at the ranch, he’d be able to keep his distance from her, give her the space she seemed to need.
Fat chance.
He wasn’t sure what kind of relationship they would have, but being friends just wasn’t going to cut it. He still wanted her to marry him, so his baby would have his name. Though now, with Ashley hurt and upset, it wasn’t a good time to bring up the idea again. He thought about the kiss they’d shared earlier. She hadn’t rejected him, which told him she had some feelings for him. It didn’t matter to him that whatever was between them was just physical.
He knew it wasn’t love, and he had no intention of falling in love with her. His experience with Ariel had left his heart bitter. God, he’d been a fool. Her piercing laughter still struck a tender cord when he let himself remember his humiliation. Well, he wasn’t going to put himself through that kind of hell again by becoming emotionally involved with Ashley. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t want her. He’d been aching for her all afternoon.
No matter what happened, he had to deal with the fact that he was going to be a father. He could do that. He’d make sure his child never needed anything.
He cooled his horse down, then headed for the house to check on Ashley. He wanted to explain why he’d reacted the way he had earlier, though he wasn’t sure he’d be able to put it into words.
Ashley glanced toward the door when she heard it open. She quickly looked away when Ryder entered.
“Well, hey, Ryder,” Lynn greeted him with her usual bright smile. “Ashley and I were just getting acquainted.”
“That’s good. Have you met Jake, yet?” He directed his question to Ashley to force her to look at him. She was standing next to Lynn, a dish towel in her hands. She turned to face him, her gaze landing somewhere behind him.
“Not yet.” Her answer was clipped and to the point.
“You’ll meet him at dinner, more than likely. How are you feeling?” he asked, watching her closely.
“I’m fine,” she answered shortly.
“Dinner won’t be for a while,” Lynn said, breaking into the conversation. “I hope you got something to eat while you were out. Or I can make you a sandwich if you want one.”
“I’m not hungry,” Ryder answered, shaking his head.
Lynn gave him a curious look. “You must be sick. I’ve never known you to turn down food.”
“Well, I’m not sick,” he replied stiffly, “I’m just not hungry.” He shifted his stance. He wanted to talk to Ashley, but not in front of his sister. “Would you like to see a little of the ranch?” he asked Ashley, once again forcing her to look at him.
“I’m helping Lynn with dinner preparations,” she said, and seemed glad to have an excuse to refuse.
Lynn took the towel from her. “Oh, go ahead. I can do the rest by myself.” She gave As
hley a little shove. “There’s not much left to do.”
Ashley looked from Lynn to Ryder. “All right,” she agreed. He stood aside and motioned for her to precede him out the door.
Once outside, Ashley noticed how late it was getting. He’d been gone a long time, and she’d wondered what he’d been doing, though she wasn’t about to ask Lynn where he might be. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Ryder started talking about the ranch as he showed her around, pretty much avoiding looking directly at her.
He introduced her to Russ Logan, who was a handsome man, with brown hair and a slim build and strong arms. But Ashley noticed an emptiness in his green eyes that made her wonder about him.
The barn was a huge red-painted structure with a fenced corral on the side of it. They stepped inside and Ashley was immediately cognizant of the potent smell of hay and horses. As she listened, she found there was a lot she didn’t know about ranching.
Ryder seemed careful to keep his distance, as if he wasn’t sure he should touch her, or didn’t want to. She wasn’t sure which. She guessed it didn’t matter. He’d made his feelings known when he’d bolted from her and avoided her for hours.
He showed her some of the horses, stopping at the last stall to introduce his own horse, Blaze, a large black animal that Ashley found a bit threatening. She listened as he talked, looking at the animal instead of at him.
Finally he focused his gaze on Ashley and said, “I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”
Ashley turned to look at him then, her eyes distant and cool. “It’s okay,” she whispered, the hurt still inside her. It was better this way, she told herself. She turned to leave, stopping only when he reached out and gently grasped her arm.
“I’d like to try and explain,” Ryder said, his gaze searching hers.
“It isn’t necessary,” she replied quickly, feeling the effect of his touch run through her. She shrugged free of his hand and he let her go.
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