by Naomi Niles
“Mia,” Leslie said as they approached. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, Renni always gets to and from school, but we never see who drops her off or picks her up,” Martha said, in a slightly accusatory tone.
“Is there a card I need to punch in or something?” I asked with a smile.
Leslie laughed. “Don’t mind Martha; she likes to see and hear everything.”
Martha rolled her eyes at Leslie. “I’m accused of being a gossip half the time. The truth is I’m merely interested.”
“Right,” I nodded. “How are the kids? I haven’t seen TJ or Louisa in awhile.”
“Oh, they’re good,” Martha said, including Leslie’s daughter in her assessment. “We hear you’re dating again.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What?”
“Apparently, he’s a hot young fireman from what we’ve heard.”
Leslie was smiling uncomfortably, but I knew this was the real reason they had come over to say hello. “What have you heard exactly?”
“His name is Sam, and apparently he’s quite the knight in shining armor.”
“I think Renni’s been talking a lot about him in school,” Leslie said, by way of explanation. “And, the kids tend to bring home that information.”
“How young is he?” Martha asked, bluntly.
“He’s legal,” I replied, slightly annoyed, but knowing that this was unavoidable.
“Renni really seems to like him,” Martha said, fishing for more information.
Thankfully, at that moment, the doors opened and the children flooded out. I saw Renni leading the pack and within moments she was at my side.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said loudly. “We’d better get to Aunt Vanessa’s place. She’s waiting for us. Goodbye, Leslie, Martha; it was nice catching up with you.”
Then I grabbed Renni’s hand and led her to the car. Relieved to have gotten away, I strapped her into the backseat and started the drive to Vanessa’s place.
“Well, bunny?” I asked. “Had a good day at school?”
“I was stressed, Mommy,” Renni replied.
I couldn’t help but laugh. She had heard me use the phrase enough times and was just repeating it now, but it never failed to amaze me how she got the context so right.
“Stressed, darling?” I asked. “How come?”
“Missing school yesterday,” Renni replied. “I have lots to do to catch up. That’s why I’m stressed.”
I smiled. “Well, I don’t blame you. It’s tough being a five year old these days. Everything is so competitive.”
“Tell me about it,” she replied, and I was forced to suppress my laughter.
Renni was excited to see Vanessa and the two exchanged a big hug as Vanessa twirled her around the practically empty living room. Once the hellos were out of the way, Renni immediately launched into a conversation about Sam and the day we had had yesterday.
“It was so, so fun, Aunt Vanessa,” she said. “We to the zoo and the aquarium and the museum and the planetarium…”
“Dear Lord,” Vanessa said, looking at me in shock. “You really covered all that in one day?”
“Sam helped me!” Renni replied before I could. “He said we could do it all and we did. He took me to the park, too, and pushed me on the swings, and then he bought me an ice cream cone with two whole scoops. And when I couldn’t finish it, he helped me finish it.”
“Wow,” Vanessa smiled. “He sounds really fun.”
“He is,” Renni nodded vigorously. “So, so fun. And I was so full from the ice cream, I could barely walk.”
“No!” Vanessa said, matching Renni’s enthusiasm.
“Yes!” she nodded. “So Sam carried me on his shoulders… I was the tallest one in the park.”
“Wow, you had quite a day.”
“I did,” Renni nodded. “I wish we could do it again.”
I laughed. “I think you’re going to have to give Sam and I time to recover, bunny,” I said.
“Next time you should come, too, Aunt Vanessa,” Renni said readily.
“That sounds perfect,” Vanessa nodded. “Especially since I would love to meet this famous Sam.”
“You have met him,” Renni reminded her. “When you came to pick us up when we had the accident.”
“That wasn’t a proper introduction,” Vanessa said. “I want to get to know the real Sam. The Sam that you seem to know and love.”
Renni looked at me with wide eyes. “That’s a good idea, isn’t it, Mommy?”
“It is,” I smiled. “I’m sure Aunt Vanessa will get to meet Sam soon.”
“Soon is so vague,” Vanessa said, raising one eyebrow. “I prefer tomorrow – will that work?”
“Don’t you have an exhibition tomorrow?” I asked, giving Vanessa a quizzical look.
“I do,” she nodded. “And, I’m hoping my best two critics will be there…with Sam.”
“Can we, Mommy?” Renni asked, as she grabbed my hand. “Can we please go and take Sam, too?”
I hesitated a moment. “I can always ask Sam,” I replied. “But he’s pretty busy. I don’t know if he’ll be able to make it.”
“Ask and see,” Vanessa encouraged. “I would love to meet him.”
“Okay,” I nodded as Renni beamed. “I will.”
“Aunt Vanessa?”
“Yes, honey?”
“Can I do some painting?” Renni was, bouncing on her feet.
“Please, you don’t even need to ask,” Vanessa laughed. “You know where my painting room is, don’t you?”
“Uh-huh,” Renni nodded.
“Well, run along then and go crazy.”
“But don’t disrupt Aunt Vanessa’s work space, please,” I called after Renni, who was already running away from us.
Vanessa laughed and turned to me. “How about some wine?”
“Umm…isn’t it a bit early?”
She shrugged. “I’m an artist. I dance according to my own tune.”
“Oh, go ahead then,” I nodded.
Vanessa poured out two glasses of red wine and handed one to me. Then she sat down and looked at me with searching eyes. “So,” she started. “How are things?”
I took a deep breath. “Yesterday was…a strange mix of emotions for me.”
“How so?”
“It actually felt like we were a family,” I admitted. “It was more than just about how we looked together to outside eyes… I actually felt that like a family.”
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Vanessa asked, taking a sip of her wine.
“It’s so soon, though,” I said. “I shouldn’t be feeling all this so soon.”
“You can’t help how you feel, hon,” she said. “You should know that better than anyone.”
“I do… It’s just…”
“Yes?”
“I haven’t felt this way about anyone other than Clint,” I confessed. “And, a part of me feels guilty.”
“Guilty?” Vanessa repeated. “Oh, Mia.”
“I know it’s probably irrational.”
“That is completely normal, hon,” she comforted me. “This is the first man you’ve let into your life since your husband died. Of course you’re feeling a little all over the place.
“But I knew Clint well enough to know that he would have wanted you to move on. He would have wanted you to be happy, Mia, you know that.”
“I do,” I said, in a quiet voice. “But this is not about him… I just feel as though my loyalties are being tested.”
“Maybe they are,” Vanessa said. “But this is not a question of opposing loyalties. You can be loyal to both men – Clint and Sam. Just because you’re with Sam, doesn’t mean you have to forget Clint.”
I smiled. “You know, Sam is the one who brought up Clint yesterday. He wanted to know how we met and how we fell in love.”
“That’s a good sign,” she said. “It means Sam recognizes Clint is an important part of your history and he’s ready to accept that.”<
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I nodded. “Sam is a good guy,” I said, mostly to myself.
“Then I suggest you make this work,” Vanessa said encouragingly. “And bring him to the exhibition tomorrow night.”
I smiled. “I’ll do my best,” I promised.
By the time Renni and I got home that night, we were both exhausted. Her bubbly little face was scrunched up in sleep, but she had spent the night bouncing off the walls at Vanessa’s, so I wanted to give her a quick shower before bed.
“Come on, munchkin,” I called. “A quick shower and then it’s off to the land of nod.”
Renni followed me into the bathroom and undressed before I could help her. I sat by the bathtub and rubbed her back with a warm sponge as she patted down the water with her palms.
“Mommy?”
“Hmm?”
“Next Friday is parent career day,” she said.
“Really?” I asked. “That came around fast.”
“Nelly’s daddy is an architect,” Renni said. “And Jolie’s daddy is a surgeon.”
“Impressive careers.”
“What was my daddy?”
She wasn’t looking at me. Her green eyes were fixed on the water in front of her. She didn’t look sad or upset. She was merely asking me a question that required an answer. I realized that all the emotion was coming from me.
I kissed her soapy forehead. “Your daddy was in advertising,” I told her. “He used to help different companies sell their products.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh,” I nodded. “Remember that commercial for nougat chocolate bars?”
“The one with blue teddy bear?” Renni asked, her eyes going wide.
“That’s the one,” I smiled. “Your daddy is the one who worked on that campaign. It’s a few years old now, but it was popular at the time.”
“Wow,” she said in awe.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, darling?”
“What was daddy like?”
I smiled, trying not to let the emotion show too much on my face. “Your daddy was…
“Well, you had him wrapped around your little finger. He used to play with you all the time. He used to take you to the park and push you on the swings. He used to make you breakfast and then help you eat it. He used to read stories to you at night and sometimes would even act them out for you. He made you laugh so much…much more than I could.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I nodded. “Come on, puppet, let’s get you dry now.”
She stood up in the bathtub, and I wrapped a towel around her and pulled her out of the water. Then I wiped her dry and helped her into her soft pink pyjamas. I combed her hair out before we headed for her bed. She was all settled down under the sheets when I reached for one of her favorite bedtime stories.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Instead of reading…can you tell me more stories about my daddy?”
I looked into her green eyes and saw myself reflected in them. And despite how much Renni looked like me, I could see that her deepest nature was her father’s. I was glad she had inherited that from him. She was kind, just like he had been.
“Of course, angel,” I nodded.
I spent the next half an hour talking about Clint. I told Renni little stories about him. How he had loved her. How he had made mistakes with her, but above all, how hard he had tried to be the perfect father. I told her how funny he was and how much he loved playing with her.
“He sounds like Sam,” Renni said, after a moment.
I let that sit for a moment. “You’re right…he does,” I nodded.
Chapter Thirty-One
Sam
I had never been to an art exhibit before let alone an art gallery. I had no idea how to dress, how formal to be, or how big a deal this was in cultured circles. I felt like some dorky, uneducated fireman who would have to pretend to understand what he was looking at the whole night.
I decided to stick with Renni. I couldn’t know less than a five-year-old, right? Then I remembered that Renni was no ordinary five-year-old and would probably know more than me. Sighing, I stared at myself in the mirror. It was a strange new experience, to not only be conscious of myself, but to also worry about if I looked presentable or not.
I wouldn’t exactly call myself vain. I liked to pretend I was to amuse the people around me from time to time, but I wasn’t one of those guys who actually thought he was the hottest thing in the room. That being said, I was honest about my looks. I knew I was a good-looking guy, which gave me the confidence I needed with women.
But being with Mia was different somehow. I knew looks alone wouldn’t cut it with her. She was smart enough to see through me, and if personality was all she was looking at, I felt much more exposed than I wanted to be.
I had opted for black pants, a white long-sleeved shirt, and a black belt with matching shoes. I toyed with the idea of wearing a tie, but I changed my mind at the last moment. A tie just wasn’t me, and despite the fact that I wanted to impress Mia tonight, I wanted to impress her looking like myself. I decided to just go for a more casual open collar look.
I checked my reflection in the mirror and decided I looked quite presentable. I was sure they wouldn’t kick me out of the gallery, at the very least.
I stopped by a special florist Madison had told me about a few days ago to pick up something unique for Mia and Renni, and then I drove over to their place and rang the doorbell. It was Mia who answered the door. She was wearing a silky dressing gown cut just above her knees. Her hair was gathered up in a messy knot above her head, her face looked fresh and clean and her feet were bare.
“Wow,” I said. “You look beautiful.”
She smirked at me. “I’m not ready yet.”
“Really?” I teased. “This isn’t what you’re wearing tonight?”
I heard a giggle from behind her and that was when I noticed Renni peering in through the narrow hallway.
“Hi, cutie,” I said. “I brought something for you.”
“Really?” Renni said, her eyes going wide with excitement.
“Come on,” Mia smiled, nudging me inside. “Would you mind hanging out with Renni for a few minutes? I still need to figure out what I’m going to wear.”
“Sure thing,” I nodded willingly. “But first, I should give you lovely ladies my little gift.”
“You brought something for Mommy, too?”
“Of course,” I nodded. Then I pulled out the hand I had been strategically hiding behind my back to reveal the bouquets I was holding. Each bouquet held three long stems, one that was held together by a red ribbon and the other was held together by a blue ribbon. I handed the blue-ribboned bouquet to Renni.
“Mommy, look,” Renni said, in awe. “It’s not flowers… it’s –
“Cookies,” Mia laughed. “Flower cookies.”
“Double chocolate chip,” I told them. “And for you, my lady.”
I presented Mia with the red-ribboned bouquet from which stood wrapped Godiva chocolates on each stem. She accepted it with a wide smile and gave me a wink. “This was a brilliant idea,” she told me. “Thank you, Sam.”
“It was my pleasure.”
Mia looked at Renni’s delighted face and laughed. “Why don’t you put those in some milk, sweetheart?”
“Can I?” she asked.
“Sure,” Mia nodded. “Dinner might be late tonight, so a snack might help. Now, I’ve got to go get ready.”
Mia disappeared into her room, leaving Renni and I alone. “Let’s eat the cookies, Sam,” Renni said immediately.
“Sounds like a plan,” I nodded willingly. “How about some milk?”
“In the fridge,” she replied, as she ran to get it for me.
I got out two glasses and then poured out the milk that Renni brought me. We sat together at the kitchen table, clinked our glasses together, and dunked our cookies into the milk.
; “Thank you for the cookies, Sam,” Renni said, after taking the first bite. “They’re yummy.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“They’re yummy,” Renni said again, as though she wanted to make sure I knew that.
“So Renni…” I started.
“Uh-huh?”
“How much do you know about art?”
She smiled, with crumbs coating her lips. “I know that art is pretty, but Aunt Vanessa says that it can be…sub-juc-get-ive.”
I smiled. “Subjective?”
“Uh-huh,” she nodded. “I think it means that different people can like different art. That’s why I like art so much – no one can be wrong about it.”
“Have I ever told you how smart you are?” I asked, shaking my head at her. “I think you may be smarter than me.”
Renni blushed instantly and gave a little giggle. “Mommy says I’m smart, too,” she confessed, as though she was slightly embarrassed to admit that. “But I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t always understand everything,” Renni admitted. “And sometimes when I learn math, I get the answers wrong. And when I read books, I can’t always say some words.”
“Hmm,” I said thoughtfully. “How old are you, Renni?”
“Five and three quarters,” she replied promptly.
I smiled. “Well, I’m twenty-four and three quarters and I still get certain answers wrong, I still read and can’t always pronounce certain words, and I don’t always understand everything, either. No one can understand everything. The point is that when we don’t know something, we ask so that we can learn about them.”
“I always do that,” Renni said happily.
“And that’s what makes you smart.”
She beamed. She was quiet for a moment, as though lost in her own thoughts. Then she looked up at me suddenly, her little green eyes boring into mine. “I’m glad Mommy has you, Sam,” she said with a maturity that defied her age.
I was touched, but covered up my emotion with a smile. “Does that mean you approve of me, Renni?”
She smiled. “Uh-huh,” she nodded. “Very much. I’m happy when you’re around. And so is Mommy.”
They were simple, honest words, yet they filled me with so much hope and happiness. I was intensely grateful that Renni liked me and that I got to be part of her life. Our cozy little conversation was interrupted when Mia came back into the room. I took a deep breath as I stared at her beautiful classical silhouette.