To Take Her Pride

by Anne Brear

  “Oh, you’re both here, good.” She puffed.

  “What’s the matter?” Sophia frowned.

  “Lily, her pains have started. She was calling for you. Come on.” Jean hurried back into the house.

  Sophia looked at Aurora, her face worried. “You don’t have to go. I don’t want you being scared of what to face when it’s your own time.”

  Aurora heaved herself up. “Lily is my friend. If she wants me then I’ll go to her. Besides, I need to know what I’ll be enduring myself. Nothing is scarier than being ignorant.”

  “But Tom is coming to say goodbye.”

  “Not for hours yet.”

  They washed and tidied themselves, with Aurora donning her coat to cover her stomach, then they crossed the cobbles to Lily’s house. Old Alfie was sitting out on a chair reading his newspaper in the sun and they called good morning to him.

  “Poor Lily is in for a hard day then?” he asked, a pipe drooping from the corner of his mouth.

  “Yes. But worth it in the end,” Sophia replied.

  “Is it? The poor fatherless scrap.”

  Sophia paused on the step. “The baby will have a grandfather and a loving mother, that’s more than some.”

  “Aye. Well, give her my best then.” Alfie lifted up his paper and went back to his reading.

  Aurora rolled her eyes at Sophia when they found the house full of the gossiping women, sipping tea and eating cake.

  “She’s upstairs, lass,” Dilys said, pouring our more tea. “Jean, take this out to Alfie, he’ll dry out in this heat. What is with this weather, I ask you? Cold one minute and back to summer the next.”

  Aurora and Sophia climbed the stairs. “Dilys sure makes herself at home in other people’s houses, doesn’t she?”

  “She’s good hearted though,” Sophia whispered.

  “Indeed, especially when she’s eating someone else’s food,” Aurora muttered, slowly opening the door to Lily’s bedroom. Inside, they found Lily lying on the bed, pale and moaning as a contraction seized her. Rubbing her back was Mrs Murphy.

  “Sure an’ I’m glad to see you two here.” Mrs Murphy smiled.

  “How’s she doing?” Sophia asked, sitting on the side of the bed and tucking Lily’s hair behind her ears.

  “She’s coming on a treat, aren’t you, lass?” Mrs Murphy glanced up at Aurora. “Come round this side, take over from me, I’ll be needed at the other end soon.”

  “Has the doctor been sent for?”

  “Doctor?” Mrs Murphy scowled. “And what would he be needed for? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I’ll have this little ’un out before the sun sets altogether.” As if to convince them of her worth, she got busy down the other end, tidying and sorting, before going to the door and yelling for more towels and fresh water.

  “Aurora.” Lily opened her eyes and smiled. “I was wondering where you were.”

  “We didn’t know until Jean came and fetched us.” Aurora held her hand. “I’m sorry. I would have been here sooner.”

  “I didn’t tell anyone at first because I knew it would take a while. The pains started last night but they weren’t much to bother about. They got stronger this morning after I sent me dad off to work and baked a cake. I started cooking a stew with some dumplings for me dad’s dinner, but I had to stop.”

  “Never mind any of that now.” Aurora stroked her cheek as Lily’s eyes squeezed shut while another pain gripped her.

  “That’s a good girl,” Mrs Murphy crooned from the end of the bed. “You push when you’re ready, I’m here.”

  “Oh no, Mrs Murphy,” Lily said, sucking in a breath, “I’m fine…” She put her chin on her chest and groaned loudly. “Oh, dear God…help!”

  “Go with it, lass. Do you need to push?”

  “Yesss!” Lily strained, the veins popping out on her neck. She squeezed Sophia and Aurora’s hands and Aurora tried hard not to whimper from the pain of it.

  A minute later it was over and Lily relaxed slightly, but Aurora could tell she was bracing for another one. When it came again it was longer and stronger. Lily cried out from deep in her throat.

  Sweat broke out on Aurora’s forehead. “Can we get some air in here?” She looked at the closed window. “Shall I open it?”

  “No,” Mrs Murphy snapped. “It’ll cause a draught on the mother and child. Take your bloody coat off.”

  Sophia’s eyes widened and she faintly shook her head. Heeding the warning, Aurora sat on the chair and patted Lily’s hand. As well as being hot, she felt rather useless.

  For the next hour, Aurora wondered if she could stand it anymore. Poor Lily suffered dreadfully, she hated seeing her in such pain, but now her own back was aching from all the bending and she was drenched in sweat. The room was like a furnace and even Mrs Murphy and Sophia were wilting in the oppressive atmosphere.

  “Open the blasted window!” Lily screamed. “I can’t breathe!”

  Aurora, ignoring Mrs Murphy ran to the window and pushed it up as high as it could go. She leaned into the fresh air, but there’s wasn’t a whimper of a breeze. Lily cried out again and Aurora rushed back to the bed just as the baby’s head crowned. She stood staring at the tuff of hair, her eyes wide. Mrs Murphy murmured softly, coaxing Lily to be steady and not push too hard or she’d tear. Transfixed, Aurora watched Lily push and old hands swivel the shoulders. The baby slithered out in a rush of blood and fluid.

  “There now, there now,” Mrs Murphy roughly wiped the baby over, clearing its puckered little face of white mucus. It let out a small wail. “You’ve a lovely little lad, Lily,” she said. “He’s a good size too.” Mrs Murphy wrapped him up and then noticing Aurora so close, promptly put him in her arms. “Here, have some practice, lass.”

  Over the baby’s head, Aurora stared at Mrs Murphy wordlessly. She knew!

  “Sure, and I wouldn’t be telling a soul, but them downstairs will guess soon enough. You can’t hide behind a coat forever.” She turned away to deal with Lily and the afterbirth.

  Aurora stepped closer to the bed. Sophia was wiping Lily’s forehead with a cool cloth. “Look, Lily, you have a son.” Aurora smiled down at the precious little person in her arms. He stared back at her, one hand free from the blanket. “Welcome, little one, welcome to the world.”

  “I’m calling him William Noah Bradshaw.” Lily sighed and gave a shiver as the afterbirth came away. She held out her arms for her son.

  “A good name.” Sophia nodded as Aurora gave him to his mother and watched them together. “I’ll walk up to the ironmonger’s and tell Noah he has a grandson.”

  “You’ll be all right, Lily?” Aurora asked.

  “She’ll be fine as soon as I’ve given her a bit of a wash.” Mrs Murphy spoke for her. “She’ll be tired and sore altogether, but nothing a bit of sleep won’t put right.” She bundled a pile of bloodied clothes into a basket by the bed. “I’ll sit with her for a while and we’ll have a cup of tea. Then Dilys has offered to sit up here until Noah finishes work.”

  With that settled, Aurora and Sophia went downstairs and spent five minutes talking to the women about the baby. The excuse of going to Noah allowed them to escape the house and cross to their home.

  “Aurora!” Tom hurried up the lane, his arm raised in greeting.

  She put a hand to her hair, hoping she didn’t look as awful as she felt. The August heat baked the cobbles. Tom joined them, bowed and enquiring after their health. She led him inside, but Sophia said she was going to Noah and left.

  In the sitting room, Aurora sat on the chair and smothered a yawn. “Oh, forgive me, Tom. My friend Lily just gave birth to a baby boy and anyone would think I’d done it I’m so tired.”

  He stared around at the boxes. “What are all these for?”

  “We have to move by the end of the week.”

  “That soon? Where will you go?”

  “To Lily’s for now. Her father is keen on Sophia. I think they will marry one day.”

  “But what about you?
”

  “I’ll work that out as it comes. I can make it through each day if I only concentrate on one day at a time.”

  “This is madness, Aurora, madness.” He slapped his thigh. She could see his mind working. “You must marry me.”

  “Yes.”

  “I can take care of you, get you out of here. We’ll find somewhere better for you and the baby and Sophia. I’m your best friend, damn it, let me take care of you. We can go to the church today to have the banns called and…” his voice faded as he realized what she said. “You’ll marry me?”

  “Yes.” She couldn’t smile or be happy. She was doing it for her child. The baby that would soon be in her arms and depending on her for its very life. How could she not try to give it the best she could? Sophia had done it. Sophia had given her up for a better life. She wasn’t about to give up her baby, but she could give him or her a name, its rightful name of Sinclair.

  “Aurrie.”

  She couldn’t see him for the tears clouding her eyes. “Tell me I’m doing the right thing, Tom.”

  He crushed her into his arms. “You are, dearest girl, you are.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “How are we going to hide you? I can’t believe how big you’ve suddenly become.” Sophia gave Aurora a distressed glance as she paced the front room of number 10.

  “You said it was about time I started to show properly.”

  “I know, but Dilys knows something is going on. I’m certain of it.”

  “If they find out then so be it.” Noah folded his newspaper. “It’s no one else’s business.”

  “Don’t be foolish, Noah,” Sophia snapped. “In this lane it’s everyone’s business what goes on.” She paused, a look of dismay on her face and she reached out her hand to him. “I’m sorry.”

  “Nay, I know you don’t mean it.” He gave her a private smile and then turned to Aurora. “Speaking of babies, I heard you have a cradle now?”

  “Anthony found one for me.” Aurora grinned. “You know what he’s like. It was a little worn, and well, I would have liked a new one, but he spent a few days painting it and it’s beautiful. He’s keeping it in his room for now until we need it, as Mrs Murphy said it would be bad luck to bring it over here before the baby is born.” She glanced to Sophia. “Mrs Murphy has knitted two sweet little bonnets. One for Will and one for my baby. The neighbors think they are both for Will.”

  Sophia groaned. “It’ll get out, I tell you it will. Mrs Morrison won’t stand for it. I know she won’t. I heard that she once threw a stone and whatever muck she could find in the gutter at a girl in the next street who got with child before marriage.”

  “Then she’s a hypocrite.” Noah sucked on his pipe and finding it unlit, proceeded to fill the bowl with tobacco from a pouch in his pocket. “I know when she came to this lane as a bride her waist was thick and their daughter was born only five months later.”

  “Yes, but when you’re already married it doesn’t matter so much.” Sophia paced, worrying her thumbnail.

  Aurora placed her knitting needles on her lap, the little jacket for her baby half finished. “I’ll keep inside a lot, at least for the next week and then it won’t matter, I’ll be married to Tom.”

  Noah lit his pipe, squinting through the smoke. “And soon we’ll all be gone from here. So why should we give a toss to what any of them say?”

  “Are you absolutely sure you want to come with us, Noah?” Aurora asked for the hundredth time.

  “I told you, yes. Lily and I will follow you two where ever you go. There’s nothing here for us if you leave the lane.”

  “But the country is very different than the city. Some people can’t take to it. They aren’t used to the quiet and the space.”

  “I’ll be fine. I grew up in the country.”

  “But Lily hasn’t.”

  “Lily will be fine also,” Lily said coming into the room, carrying baby Will. “Please don’t worry, Aurrie. I want to go to the country with you. It’ll be a better life for Will. There he can grow up to be big and strong and have fresh air to breathe and good food. I won’t deny him that.” She gave the baby to Sophia. “I’ll make us all a cup of tea.”

  Knitting another row, Aurora dwelt on the happenings of the past days. Before Tom left for London to finalize his concerns, he had organized their wedding for Friday. She didn’t know how he had managed it, although she believed he had paid the local vicar an enormous sum of money for them to be married without the three weeks reading of the banns. Instead they had only a one week banns and left it up to the vicar to explain the rest, apparently something along the lines of mixed communication or some such. Thankfully, he was a forward thinking man and muttered things about “a man fighting for his country” and all that. After the ceremony, Tom would leave immediately for his ship to take him to his regiment in Africa.

  After Sunday’s banns reading, the women were agog with the news and crowded into number nine wanting to know all the facts. Aurora believed that most of the women knew she was pregnant. She had caught more than one of them on occasion looking at her thick waist and knew it was only a matter of time before one of them spoke their thoughts out loud.

  Aside from the wedding plans and moving into number 10, Aurora had received a letter from Tom in London. He had told her of a cottage and smallholding he owned near Hebden Bridge in West Yorkshire. It had been a part of his inheritance when he gained his majority, and he had signed the whole of it over to her. If she wished, she and Sophia could move there straight after the wedding. When Noah heard of this, he went quiet for days and Lily confided to Aurora that he wasn’t going to ask Sophia to marry him now. He didn’t want to make her choose, or give up the chance of living somewhere nice away from the lane. Aurora instantly spoke to Sophia about it and together they decided to ask Noah and Lily to move to Hebden Bridge with them.

  Tom’s gift of the cottage meant more to Aurora than she could express. She wrote to Tom, explaining it was too much, that such a gift was unnecessary, but he’d refused her excuses. He wanted peace of mind while away, and with them living in the house he felt relieved. The security of having a home of her own lifted Aurora’s spirits. Since agreeing to marry Tom, guilt plagued her about abandoning Reid. It was silly really. She couldn’t have Reid and she wanted him to be happy in his life, so why couldn’t she do the same for herself? The past had to be forgotten. Although it was easy to say, it was far less easier to do.

  The next day, Aurora broke her promise to stay indoors and walked to the shops. She needed a little peace and the cramped conditions at number ten didn’t provide the solitude she wanted to think. So while Lily rocked Will to sleep upstairs and Sophia did the weekly washing in the scullery, Aurora wrapped a long shawl over her shoulders and across her stomach and left the house. Heavy dark clouds threatened rain, but she hoped they’d hold for an hour while she cleared her head.

  Old Alfie was sitting on his chair outside his door and she crossed the cobbles to him. “Good morning.”

  “Morning, lass. You off out?”

  “To the shops.”

  “Don’t be long, rain’s coming.”

  “I’ll hurry then.” She paused. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

  “No ta, lass. I’m right. I walked down early and got me paper and some fish off the market. I like a nice piece of haddock for me supper.”

  “Well, I’ll be going then.” As she rounded the corner, she waved and smiled in greeting to Hetty Barclay, but not wanting to chat, she put her head down and kept going.

  Ignoring the threat of rain for a while she meandered along the river, stopping every now and then to watch the men working on the boats. She liked to imagine each boat’s destination and the goods they carried. Once, dreaming she was Reid’s wife, she had envisioned sailing the oceans with him. Travelling to America and Italy, shopping in New York, listening to opera in Venice. There would be trips to France, Germany and Africa, maybe even the Orient. She and Reid would d
ine and dance in exotic places, visit ancient ruins, sleep under the stars in tents on dry plains. Such girlish dreams. How long ago all that seemed. Another lifetime.

  She turned away from the river towards the throbbing city and tried not to think of Reid, but it was difficult. Where was he right at this minute? Was he busy meeting interesting people in New York, or seeing fascinating places? Was he thinking about her as she was thinking about him? Sighing deeply, she put him from her mind.

  Soon enveloped into the crowds of the busy York streets, she wandered aimlessly, content to window shop. She had a shopping list in her reticule but as yet felt inclined to carry goods. With the baby’s growth, she tired much easier now.

  Turning into Goodramgate, she felt with prickly sensation of being followed. Stopping to look at a window display, she used the glass to see behind her. Over her left shoulder, across the road, a man wearing a black hat waited. To another person he seemed like a fellow with time on his hands, but as Aurora moved off, he also started walking. When she stopped again and so did he. When she went into a shop, he loitered outside. How dare someone torment her this way? She was so tired of fighting for peace of mind. It must be Ellerton. Fury replaced her fear.

  Coming out a glass and china shop, she hurried over to confront the man, taking him by surprise. “You there! Why do you follow me?”

  Taking a step back, the man glanced up and down the street. “I’m not.”

  “Yes you are, so don’t deny it.” She pointed a finger in his chest. “Who sent you?”

  “No one.”

  “Liar!” She fought the urge to grab his labels and shake him. “I’m tired of it, do you hear? Leave me alone.”

  The fellow smirked, revealing a missing front tooth. “I’m only doing what I get paid for, Miss.”

  “Who is paying you?”

  “That I can’t tell you.”

  “Well, you can tell him that if he doesn’t leave me alone I’ll go to the police.” She knew it must be Merv Ellerton behind this. Blast the man!

  “I wouldn’t advise that.” The fellow’s eyes narrowed. “Such an action would bring…unpleasantness to you and your loved ones.”