The Problem Child

by Michael Buckley

  “Very good,” Snow White said. “I was very intimidated.” Then she wished Sabrina a speedy recovery before getting back in her car and driving away.

  “What was all that sensei stuff?” Sabrina asked her little sister.

  “Granny thought it was a good idea to keep me busy while you were in the hospital. She signed me up for Ms. White’s Bad Apples self-defense class at the community center. I’ve only gone once but she says I’m a fierce warrior.”

  “A fierce warrior, huh?” Sabrina laughed. “Was that what all the warrior-face stuff was about?”

  “Yes, it’s to let an attacker know that you mean business,” Daphne explained.

  “It looked like it was to let an attacker know you were constipated,” Sabrina said.

  “What does constipated mean?” Daphne asked.

  Sabrina leaned over, cupped her hand around her sister’s ear, and whispered the definition to her. The little girl stepped back and crinkled up her nose.

  “You’re gross.”

  Granny led the girls to the porch and dug in her handbag for her key ring. It had hundreds of keys on it, which she quickly sorted through to find the ones that fit the dozen locks on the front door. When she was finished with the keys, she knocked three times on the door and said, “We’re home.” The last magical lock slid open and the family hurried inside the house and out of the cold.

  Daphne had to help Sabrina out of her coat and boots. With her broken arm in its clunky cast, Sabrina realized there were a few things she wouldn’t be able to do on her own. She didn’t like the feeling of helplessness. It didn’t feel natural for Daphne to be taking care of her.

  Still, there was something she could do to help everyone and she couldn’t wait to get started. She made a beeline to the enormous bookshelves in the living room, which housed the family’s collection of journals, clothbound records of everything every Grimm had experienced since Wilhelm Grimm had arrived in the town more than two hundred years earlier. Sabrina was sure there must be something in them about a little girl and her pet monster, but before she could grab a single volume, her grandmother stepped in her way.

  “Uh-uh. No detective work today. You’re going straight to bed and getting some rest.”

  “Rest? I’ve been asleep for three days,” Sabrina complained. “I can rest when Mom and Dad are safe at home.”

  Granny Relda shook her head. “Upstairs,” she said.

  Sabrina scowled and stomped up the steps to her room. The old woman and Daphne followed and helped her out of her clothes. The whole experience was humiliating. Sabrina couldn’t even put on her own pajamas without help. Climbing into bed was equally difficult, and when her grandmother started laying heavy quilts on her, she knew that getting out again was going to be a real challenge.

  “I bet reading one of the journals might make me sleepy,” Sabrina said as her grandmother added another blanket to the mountain of down quilts trapping her.

  “Are you warm enough?” Granny Relda asked as she tucked the sides of the blankets underneath Sabrina, turning her into a human burrito.

  “Yes! You could bake a turkey under here,” the girl said, struggling to free herself.

  Just then, Elvis peeked around the doorjamb.

  “Elvis!” Sabrina called. “Come here, boy! Help me escape!”

  The family’s two-hundred-pound Great Dane let out a soft whine. Despite his imposing figure and a face that said “I can eat you in one bite,” the dog had a sensitive, loving nature. He was incredibly playful and affectionate to the girls, and normally he would have leaped onto the bed and covered Sabrina in happy kisses. There was something wrong.

  “What’s with him?” Sabrina asked.

  “He’s pouting,” Granny Relda said stiffly.

  “Pouting? Why?”

  “I’ll show you,” Daphne said, rushing over to the dog. She tried to pull him into the room by his collar, but Elvis wouldn’t budge.

  “Young man, get in here and say hello,” Granny insisted.

  Elvis snorted and reluctantly stepped into the doorway. He was wearing a green vest, white booties, a saggy red Santa hat with furry white trim, and a long white beard attached under his chin. When he was in full view, he dropped his head and whined.

  “Don’t feel bad, pooch,” Sabrina said, sympathetically. “I might be known as Captain Doodieface until I’m in college.”

  “I think he looks handsome!” Daphne cried, wrapping her arms around the dog’s neck. “He’s my handsome little Christmas baby.”

  “He’s one miserable baby,” Sabrina said, laughing.

  “I’ve been working on that costume for days!” Granny exclaimed.

  Elvis dropped his head and whined again.

  “OK,” Granny surrendered. “Take it off him.”

  Elvis ran around in circles happily, knocking Daphne to the floor as she tried to remove his vest and hat. He gave her a slobbery lick on the face when she succeeded in removing his white beard. She handed it to Sabrina. “You want this? It’ll hide the goatee.”

  Sabrina frowned and shrank down so that the covers were just beneath her nose. “The fairy boy is dead.”

  “Your sister’s bunking with me tonight, so you’ve got the bed all to yourself,” Granny said.

  “What about Mom and Dad?”

  “Your parents are fine. You said yourself they looked as if they had been sleeping the whole time. For now, I think it’s best if we just wait until we get another chance to rescue them. I don’t believe chasing after that girl and the Jabberwocky is wise.”

  Sabrina couldn’t believe her ears. Granny Relda, one of the famous Grimm detectives, was turning down a mystery, and one that involved her own flesh and blood.

  “But what about that building Puck and I discovered?” Sabrina cried. “There could be something that survived the fire that could tell us where Mom and Dad are.”

  “You and your sister don’t need to be snooping with that thing running around,” Granny said. “Promise me you will not go back there, Sabrina.”

  The girl scowled.

  “Promise me, Sabrina,” the old woman demanded.

  “She promises,” Daphne said. “We won’t go up there.”

  Satisfied, Granny led Daphne and Elvis into the hallway. When she reached the doorway, she turned, flipped off the light, and stood in the darkness watching Sabrina.

  “I can’t lose you, liebling,” the old woman said quietly. “I’ve already lost too many.”

  “Mom and Dad need us,” Sabrina said, feeling her anger rise in her throat.

  Granny nodded but said nothing and then vanished down the hallway.

  Sabrina lay in bed for hours brooding over what had happened. Was her grandmother really going to ignore everything that Sabrina had discovered? She had seen her mother and father. She knew what their kidnapper looked like. She’d been at the location the bad guys had been using for a hideout. How could her grandmother say it was best to wait for another opportunity when they were so close?

  She scowled again in the direction of the doorway, where her grandmother had stood so silently, and caught sight of something that she realized might explain her grandmother’s behavior. Mr. Canis’s bedroom door was directly across from her own. Most nights, she heard the restless old man as he fought the demon that lived inside him. His alter ego, the Big Bad Wolf, was a killing machine, but Granny had believed in him. He had been her companion and best friend, and, despite his horrible past, the one person in Ferryport Landing who she trusted completely. Now he was gone.

  Sabrina realized how selfish she was being. Granny Relda was heartbroken and certainly not ready to plunge the family into another dangerous adventure, even if it meant saving Henry and Veronica. Her grandmother needed time to mourn.

  Sabrina would have to rescue her parents on her own.

  When she was sure everyone was deeply asleep, Sabrina struggled from her blanket cocoon. It took her nearly half an hour to maneuver herself to freedom but eventually she
escaped and headed downstairs.

  She crept through the house, doing her best to avoid creaky floorboards. Being in the foster care system for so long had taught her a lot about how to be sneaky. She could creep out of someone’s house right under the person’s nose.

  Once in the living room, she reached over and flipped on a table lamp. Elvis was lying on the couch, a place he knew very well he was not supposed to be. He cocked his head with a guilty look.

  “You don’t say anything and I won’t say anything,” Sabrina whispered. The big dog seemed OK with the deal. He plopped his huge noggin back down on a cushion and fell asleep.

  On the far wall were the bookshelves that held the family journals, as well as the largest collection of fairy-tale stories and studies Sabrina had ever seen, including such volumes as The Seven People You Meet in Oz, Cheap Eats in Wonderland, and a weighty one called The Paul Bunyan Diet. The library spilled onto the floor and into the other rooms. Some books held up wobbly tables, others were literally swept under the rug. Sabrina had once found a book inside the toilet tank. Tonight she didn’t need to search for what she wanted. She reached over and scooped up as many family journals as her good arm would hold. Crossing into the dining room, she placed them on the table and then went back for the rest. Once she had gathered them all, she flipped on a tiny lamp by the table and sat down to read. Someone in this family has to know something about the girl in the red cloak and her pet Jabberwocky, she thought.

  She found her first reference to the Jabberwocky in her great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Wilhelm’s account of his Altantic crossing with his magical passengers. Wilhelm had brought the Everafters to America to help them escape persecution, and from his earliest entries, Sabrina could see it hadn’t been an easy voyage.

  What’s the Vorpal blade? Sabrina wondered, but Wilhelm never mentioned it again. Sabrina searched the other journals and found no other references to the Jabberwockies or the blade, except in two entries by her great-great-great-grandfather Spaulding Grimm.

  Sabrina closed the journal and looked over at the clock on the wall. She’d been working for nearly three hours and sleep was finally creeping up on her. The only other thing she had discovered was strange but unhelpful—some of the pages in her father’s journals had been ripped out, a great many of them in fact, at the end of his writings.

  Her eyes fluttered. She wondered if closing them for a moment or two might help.

  No sooner had she rested her head on the dining room table and closed her eyes when someone said, “Time to wake up.” Sabrina bolted upright in her chair and glanced around the dining room. Sitting at the end of the table was the girl in the red cloak. The Jabberwocky was seated next to her, breathing so heavily Sabrina could feel his breath from across the room. The two intruders were hovering over a filthy tea set laid out on the table. The little girl poured a thick, stringy substance into two cups and set one in front of the monster. Its teeth gnashed and a rope of drool fell out of its mouth.

  “Have some tea,” the little girl said to Sabrina. She poured a third cup and slid it across the table. Whatever was in it was bubbling and black.

  “How did you get in here?” Sabrina asked.

  The little girl in red giggled.

  Suddenly, Henry and Veronica materialized in the seats next to Sabrina. They looked terrified and worried.

  “Sabrina, you have to save us,” her father said.

  “You’re our only hope,” her mother cried.

  “But I’m just a little girl,” Sabrina protested.

  Just then the shrill cry of an unhappy infant filled the room.

  “You’ve woken the baby!” the little girl wailed.

  The Jabberwocky tossed the table aside, sending the tea set smashing to the floor. The creature leaped forward and wrapped its huge talons around Sabrina’s neck.

  And then Sabrina woke up. The Jabberwocky, the girl in red, and her mom and dad were gone. She sat silently for a moment struggling to calm her breathing.

  She glanced down at the journals in front of her, noticing that her grandfather’s journal was flipped open. There was something very small written at the bottom of one of the pages and Sabrina had to strain to read it.

  Sabrina’s heart rose up into her throat when she saw the last name on the list. The little girl in the red cloak who had taken her parents was Little Red Riding Hood! Now that it was right in front of her, she felt stupid. How could I not figure that out? But how could she? She’d read the story many times. Little Red Riding Hood was one of the good guys. She wasn’t evil. She was a victim. Why would she kidnap Henry and Veronica Grimm?

  And then it dawned on her. All the rooms she had seen in the abandoned building she and Puck had been transported to had been hospital rooms. It was the Ferryport Landing Asylum.

  She leaped from her chair and hurried through the house, back up the steps, and down the hall to Granny’s room. She did her best to open the door without causing it to creak and found her sister sound asleep next to their grandmother. Sabrina rushed to her side and gently shook the little girl awake.

  “What’s wrong?” Daphne whispered as she rubbed the sleep from the corners of her eyes.

  “You were mad at me for not including you when I went to get Mom and Dad, right?” Sabrina said.

  Her little sister nodded.

  “Then get up. We’ve got some work to do.”

  ou promised Granny you wouldn’t go back to that place!” Daphne said as the girls rushed down the hallway.

  “No, you promised,” Sabrina said.

  The little girl stepped in front of her sister and crossed her arms defiantly. “I won’t let you go!”

  “Daphne, I know who kidnapped our parents,” Sabrina said.

  Her sister gasped. “Who?”

  “Little Red Riding Hood.”

  “Nuh-uh!” Daphne cried.

  “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. That hospital where I found Mom and Dad was an insane asylum. Little Red Riding Hood was a patient there. I have to go back. There might be clues that survived the fire that will tell us where the little nutcase took our parents.” Sabrina stepped around her sister and continued down the hallway.

  Daphne chased after her. “We should wait until morning. Maybe we can convince Granny to take us up there herself,” the little girl said.

  “We don’t need to bother her with this. She is sad about Mr. Canis and needs some time before she can help us do anything. Unfortunately, every minute we wait is another minute Red Riding Hood can take Mom and Dad farther away,” Sabrina said. “She’s already got a three-day head start on us.”

  “But—”

  “Daphne, listen!” Sabrina interrupted. “I’m bringing Mom and Dad home with or without you. Every ounce of misery we’ve experienced in the last year and a half could have been avoided if Mom and Dad hadn’t been kidnapped. We would never have been in foster care: we’d still be living at home, safe and sound. If we can get our family back, then things will go back to the way they were.”

  “What about the Jabberwocky thing?”

  “I’ll deal with that if and when I have to,” Sabrina said, trying to sound confident. Her sister’s doubtful expression told her the words didn’t sound as convincing as she’d hoped.

  “Then we have to take Puck with us,” Daphne declared.

  “No way!” Sabrina said. Her anger at the boy felt almost physical, like it might bubble over inside her body and pour out her ears.

  “Yes way,” Daphne insisted. “If you’re going to make me break a promise to Granny then you’re going to have to let him come along.”

  “Then I’ll go on my own,” Sabrina snapped.

  “And I will scream at the top of my lungs and wake Granny before you get a chance to go.”

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Try me!”

  Sabrina snarled. “Fine!” she said as she marched to the door at the end of the hall. On it was a crude drawing of a crocodile that read INTRUDERS
WILL B EATIN. Ignoring the sign, Sabrina turned the doorknob and dragged her sister into the room.

  Puck’s room was every little boy’s fantasy come to life, but it wasn’t exactly a room. In fact, the only thing about it that even remotely resembled a bedroom was the door that led to it from the hallway. Where the ceiling should have been was an open night sky filled with thousands of twinkling stars shining down on a lagoon below. A roller coaster rolled along a track above the water, and an ice cream truck sat parked on the shore. There was a boxing ring set up off to the right, where a kangaroo wearing boxing shorts and gloves slumbered peacefully. Sabrina noticed a new addition to the room, a mechanical bull splattered with eggs. Dozens of cracked shells and empty egg cartons lay below it.

  Puck was nowhere in sight, and the only sounds were those of chirping birds and what was probably a chipmunk digging in the brush. Sabrina shouted for the boy but there was no reply.

  “Should we look for him?” Daphne asked.

  Sabrina shook her head. “The last time we barged in here we wound up in a vat of glue and buttermilk,” she said. She was still having trouble getting the gunk out of her hair. “Hey ugly, we need to talk!” she shouted.

  “Maybe he’s busy,” Daphne said.

  “Busy doing what? Picking his nose?”

  Just then a spotlight illuminated a book lying on the beach by the lagoon.

  “Puck, what’s going on?” Sabrina said, suspiciously. Puck didn’t reply.

  “I want to see what it is,” Daphne said and she marched to the lagoon and snatched the book off the sand. She flipped it open before Sabrina could stop her.

  A couple of pages into the book, Daphne put the palm of her hand into her mouth and bit down hard. She always did this when she was excited. Sabrina walked over to see what was so interesting.

  She found pages of cute baby animals cut from magazines and books glued inside. There were puppies playing with kittens, little foxes peeking their heads out of bushes, a pony racing along a field with its mother, little bunny rabbits eating lettuce, and precious white-furred baby seals frolicking on a beach. Sabrina thought her heart might melt. “Oh, they’re so cute,” she said out loud.