Shades of Redemption (Mists of the Fae Book 3)

by Jaime Marks

  Reyana sat on her window seat with her hand on her stomach looking out over the courtyard. She thought back to when they had both kissed her stomach, together. A peace, a balance she had always sought but never achieved had settled upon her. It had felt so right. Being with them both tonight had felt so right. She thought she should feel guilty, but she didn’t. If they both accepted this, if neither of them judged her or were hurting because of it then why should she tear herself up for what was in her heart?

  She wanted them both here, by her side. Shaking her head she wondered exactly how she thought that would work. Everyone in the Kingdoms feared, if not flat out despised, Cymeryn. Her own family hated him. There was a long list of people she herself could name that would take his head if they were able. Mythos, Kato, and Grifyn were right at the top. Hell, could Star even accept this. From what she knew he had forced her Father’s awakening on him and though it now appeared that may not have been the truth it had still been Cymeryn’s intention. What about Byryn? How would he handle his Father’s sire being around day in and day out?

  As if sensing the turmoil she was drowning in she felt Cymeryn’s essence flow through her, his love enveloping her. She sighed in relief. It eased her, reassured her. She didn’t know how she was going to get through this, but she knew she needed both of them to do so.

  What was she going to do about the Bonding? She would be expected to bond to Marcus immediately once Mythos found out she was pregnant. She didn’t want to do that to Cymeryn again, despite what he said. That had been the very thing that had opened his heart to Darkness in the first place. For over a hundred years Lazurys had owned his soul as a result. How was she supposed to do that to him knowing what the result had been, knowing that the three of them had bound?

  A shiver of pleasure ran through her as images of the three of them played in her mind. Their hands, their mouths, their sexes caressing and penetrating her in unison. She ached for them.

  Glancing to the door, irritated that Marcus was taking longer than expected, she wondered how long it would be yet. She was going to go crazy if she stayed here alone too much longer. Her mind was scattered, jumping randomly from one thing to the next all centered on this pregnancy and the three of them. There were too many problems and issues. She needed to get away from all this pressure but there was nowhere to go.

  Well, actually, that wasn’t really true was it? Reyana got up from the seat and grabbed her shawl so that if someone saw her at least she could cover her night gown somewhat. She slipped silently out of her quarters and snuck through the halls evading the guards. She just needed some space. Marcus would find her when he was ready anyway.

  Chapter 14

  Cymeryn took form in the woods where he had seen his brother disappear through that entryway weeks ago. Something that annoying faerie had said to him about things once hidden becoming seen or some garbled rhyme made him wonder if he would be able to find it now.

  He walked slowly searching the area as he thought through everything that had occurred this eve. He might want to lie to himself, to tell himself that he could not be Redeemed unless Reyn reached into him and did so herself. That he had to agree to it, choose it, and perhaps not even then be able to achieve it; but he was not a fool. He knew what he felt within himself. Something had changed in him since their essences had merged, even the first time, but this was far more profound.

  A sliver of Light caught his eye as he felt the hum of an entryway and he was unsure if he should feel relief or fear. Reaching out around him he sensed the area to be sure he had not been followed. No one was in the vicinity, not even a human. When he was certain, he approached the portal, studying it. It was similar to the one that they had used to enter the grove by the lake, but larger.

  He stepped inside and was transported to a different realm. Looking around himself he studied the world he had entered. Cymeryn stood in a forest of trees, but the colors were all muted greys, all color merely hinted at through gradients of gray rather than actually representing any actual hue. A soft mist rolled about the ground and seemingly everything else in the realm. If he had to venture a guess as to where he was, he would suppose he would say this was the Realm of Gray.

  Now it made more sense. No one could discover it because no one possessed Gray essence. They would have to be taken here by someone who was able. The real question was how he had been able to sense it now when he could not before? The answer was obvious, but he was not ready to accept it. It was too much.

  He considered this place. It was the perfect shielding. With the Realm of Light infected with so much Taint the Shade could come and go as they pleased now. They could not risk Reyn remaining there. They would also be able to hide Staryana here in her human form, as well as all the other unawakened because the realm itself would not sway them to one side or the other. They could protect them and not break the covenants. Here they could safely work towards the society they were trying to build without any unwanted interference. In all honesty it was a sort of utopia, he supposed. The one place the war could not reach.

  “Actually, I referred to it as the Sanctuary for many years,” Marcus spoke as he emerged from the trees beside him.

  “I mean no harm, brother. I have not come here looking to disrupt what you have created.” Cymeryn offered as he turned to face the Fae.

  Marcus studied him as he approached. “No, I didn’t think you had. You wouldn’t have reached out and let me know you were here if you had wanted to cause issue.”

  He nodded, “I was just…” He trailed off as he looked around, unsure of what exactly he should say.

  “Lost, confused?” Marcus offered clamping a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, Cymeryn. You don’t always have all the answers.”

  He chuckled, “No, but I have always had a plan.” Hesitating he admitted the truth, “Now, however? I am so torn I could not even begin to reason my way through any strategy.” Cymeryn shook his head as he walked a few paces away, staring into the distance... “I stood there handing out half reasoned orders and justifications, choking on guilt and hoping like hell they could not sense it.”

  “Did any suspect?”

  He shook his head. “No, they are used to me throwing out odd orders that seem counterproductive until my strategies come to fruition. It also would not be the first time I have handed out busy work while I decided our next course of action just to appear in control of the situation. I have never before choked on my own guilt as I have done so, however.”

  “What do you want to do, Cymeryn? I can keep you here until you are ready to go back if you like.” Marcus offered, “There are groves and creeks that are hidden within the realm similarly as at the lake that only the three of us may breach.” Cymeryn turned to Marcus, studying him as he chuckled abruptly. “It seems our love is as restless as you are.”

  He reached out and could sense the turmoil in her, but he almost had to smile when he realized she was in the process of evading her guards “Some things never change I see.” He mused a small smile on his face.

  “Walk with me? I believe I know where she is headed.”

  They walked slowly, quietly through the forest. “I cannot stay, Marcus, you know that.”

  “Actually I don’t know it. I think you’re playing a fool’s game, Cymeryn. You may be able to trick the average Shade, but Alayne will sense you out in a heartbeat and who knows what or how well he has taught Syneous…He reached out to Star tonight.”

  That gave him pause. “Syneous? How is she?”

  “Confused, scared. Her Father’s pull on her is quite strong.” Marcus groaned. “He has been reaching her all this time and she’s hidden it, afraid of what the others will think, perhaps even of what I would think.”

  “It makes sense.” Cymeryn mused. When Marcus gave him a confused look he elaborated. “They all see Reyn as a beacon of Light and hope, it does not matter to them that she is true Gray and actually possesses Darkness within her because they cannot see it. They will not j
udge her for it. Well, provided they never find out about me.” He hesitated thinking of their young growing in this world with such Darkness in his or her soul, but forced himself to continue, “Staryana is unawakened Shade and the Darkness in that line is perhaps the strongest found. It does not matter that you have begun to Redeem, as you call it, the young of the Shade. In her mind she is supposed to be the beacon of Light her Mother is. She fears what they will think of her when they realize she is not.”

  “I hadn’t considered the issue of the crown or such expectations. Thank you for the insight, brother.” Marcus mused. “I couldn’t fathom why she would hide it. Byryn is with her now, the boy is a good match for her. He loves her greatly.”

  Cymeryn scoffed, “He had better at the least. He caused me quite a headache.”

  Marcus laughed, “He is a bit strong willed when it comes to her. You’ll have to forgive me however, for being grateful for that when it comes to your encounter with our bonded daughter.”

  “Understandable, I suppose.” He studied him, his brother, his twin. It was surprising how simple this was, how easy after all that had passed between them. “I was…very angry with you for a very long time, Marcus. I felt you had betrayed me and I allowed it consume me. The eve you had sent me to the fronts, I had very different plans. I thought she was finally ready, that I would finally hold her in my arms, not as her protector or her friend, but as the one she loved.”

  He paused watching his twin as he stilled on the path just ahead of him, not turning to face him. “When word reached me of your betrothal? Well, let us just say that many of our enemy fell that day. I could not understand it. You had never taken an interest in her, never held her as she cried or hid her from the world when she needed to escape. I was the one who had been there by her side, always, but you had somehow won her heart. I was convinced that you had sent me to the godforsaken war to keep me away from her. When Lazurys found me…”

  Marcus seemed to deflate a little, “I know…She told me. She told me how you were supposed to meet that day and that you had never shown. You mustn’t blame her, but she thought she had misinterpreted your affections, that she had been wrong. She did love you then, but when she received no word from you? In time she moved on, though she has always held you in her heart. I had never known. I had judged you harshly for your hesitation and thought you lazy, when all you had ever been doing was protecting and caring for her. If I had known, brother.” He turned to face him. “I never would have sent you. If I had bothered to take the time to see what was clearly before me, we would both have very different lives I suppose.”

  “When I betrayed her…when you found her Marcus, I never….” He trailed off, turning away, not even able to say it. He felt his twin’s strong hand on his shoulder.

  “I know, Cymeryn. She was with you. She stayed with you trying to reach you but she was beyond the realm of life. She saw the pain and anger in you and the cause of it.”

  He cringed. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him as he had been that day. “I have done so many horrible things.” He shook his head. “I became something so Dark and vile, Marcus and now I cannot break free without placing her in harm’s way.” He felt so weak as his guilt consumed him.

  “She will always be in harm’s way Cymeryn, it is the virtue of her creation. She is the goddess Lunya and Lazurys will always seek to own her if he can find a way. Your choices can’t change or impact that. It was written before we were even born.” Marcus offered. “Even if you had never turned, Alayne would still have been tasked with retrieving her. Whether it’s because he despises you or because it is the Dark Lord’s will, he will still destroy her if given the opportunity. You can’t change that, and you had no effect on it.”

  “I have no idea what I am supposed to do, Marcus. There is no way to atone for all I have done to so many. This pain, this guilt…I have never felt it before. I do not know how to manage it.” He admitted.

  “You look forward, Cymeryn.” A voice sounded to their left. “You make the right choices starting now and you look forward. You can’t change the things you did, or the people you hurt. The past is what it is and it can’t be rewritten. The future is what you make of it, but the present is where we live.”

  They looked over to find Byryn leaning against a tree with his arms crossed studying them both. The light breeze tossing his thick dark hair about his head. The fact that he managed to sneak up on them both was impressive. He was honestly not sure how long the boy had been there and he was certain that Marcus did not know either.

  Cymeryn studied the boy, considering him a moment. He had done horrible things at the direction of his Father. He had taken what he wanted in brutal ways when he felt the desire. Byryn would have made an impressive Shade, but he had chosen Redemption. He perhaps, better than most would know exactly what Cymeryn were feeling.

  “I thought I told you to take care of Star?” Marcus chided.

  “Sorry, Marcus, but I wasn’t about to ignore his presence when I felt it. Grifyn stopped by worried about Star, she was crying when he told her where to find me. It presented me the opportunity to… investigate an issue with the unawakened.” Byryn shrugged a sly smile on his face.

  Marcus grunted, “I would prefer you with her after the state she was in. I’m a bad influence on you apparently.”

  Byryn smirked. “I wouldn’t have left her if she wasn’t calm and I’ll return to her shortly. I don’t want her alone either but I needed to be sure you were safe. You might not like it but it was either this or I was sending Grifyn and Kato. I figured this would be preferable all things considered.”

  “Do not be so hard on the boy Marcus, you were never one for placing orders above duty either if memory serves.” Cymeryn reminded him. “I would not trust you with me either if I were him. The boy knows me well enough to be cautious.”

  They met each other’s stare as he felt Byryn sensing him. He allowed it, it was obvious the boy already knew by the way he regarded him anyway. “Impressively perceptive.”

  He nodded but ignored the praise crossing his arms. “If you go back Cymeryn, they’ll sense it. You might make it pass for a short while, but anyone stronger than Crytos will see it clearly.”

  Cymeryn laughed trying to hide the minute panic that crept in at his words. He knew how gifted the boy was with essence. “I fooled Tatyna and Narcyion easily enough.”

  “Yeah, but they haven’t been around you enough yet to know they should be concerned. You can misdirect them for a short while easily, but it won’t take much for them to look more than skin deep. It was Trevyn you relied on most and I can assure you he would’ve already known. So would I if I was still in that world.” He retorted.

  “Tatyna and Narcyion?” Marcus requested glancing between them.

  “My progeny. The last of them aside from Syneous.” Cymeryn replied turning back to him. “I must apologize brother, but I sent them to find the Fae stationed in the city. It was the only task I could think of to give them and it needs to look as though I am still actively pursuing a way to obtain Reyn and avenge Trevyn’s death.”

  “I’ll send out a warning to be aware but it honestly isn’t anything that they aren’t already prepared for.” Marcus shrugged.

  “Marcus, do you trust this boy, has he proven himself to you?” Cymeryn requested.

  “If he hadn’t I would never have allowed him and Staryana to be betrothed. Then again he also likely wouldn’t be alive,” His brother chuckled.

  “Yeah,” Byryn snickered, “Let’s just say your brother does a fairly convincing Cymeryn when he chooses.”

  “Indeed? Perhaps you will have to show me someday, Marcus.” Cymeryn’s brow rose in amusement as he studied the interaction between the two. Marcus had taken the boy under his wing. He was quite attached to him. “You should know Byryn, Dracyn is Crytos’ son. He was sent by his Father to see if the Darkness could still be called forth in you. I do not know if he sent more but he seemed confident in his abilit
y to reach you. Crytos has taken control of the Brood, by virtue of Michael. They intend to ambush you when you make an attempt to free the female young. It is their intention to reclaim you. They also seek a Gray they can use to find and access the portal.”

  He nodded looking slightly pale as pain laced through him. “They can try. I wish them no harm, but there’s a reason I commanded the Brood. I’ll do what needs to be done if they force me. I’m not afraid of them.”

  “Still,” Marcus interjected. “Perhaps Kato and Grifyn should both accompany you when you go. There’s no reason to be reckless. I’m well aware of what occurred the last time you faced Michael.”

  “It won’t be a problem.” He dismissed as he regarded the two of them. “You should stay, Cymeryn. You above all have set the standards for the price of betrayal but Alayne will take it fifty paces beyond and you won’t be the one to pay the price. If you’re caught he will know you’re Gray and he’ll know your weakness.”

  Cymeryn looked away pained at the thought. “If I do not return, there will be no doubt and he will know why anyway.”

  The boy nodded. “I’ll take my leave, there’s obviously a lot for you to discuss and I promised Staryana I wouldn’t be long. Besides, Dad will get suspicious if I’m gone much longer and the last thing we need is that happy reunion. I don’t think they’re anywhere near prepared to run into you having an idle discussion with your twin since you haven’t bothered to tell them anything, Marcus.”

  “He’s already suspicious, which only makes him good at his job really.” Marcus gave the boy a devilish grin as he chuckled, “And I will be certain Cymeryn is not seen. If your Father asks I’m on the trail of our Queen once more. She evaded her guards.”

  Byryn shook his head looking back and forth between the two of them. “Don’t want to know.” He glanced to Cymeryn, “The patrols will be through here soon. For what it’s worth Cymeryn…” He paused seeming to debate something. “Grandsire, whatever you decide I wish you well.”