Here and Now

by Wasowski, Mary

  “You okay?”

  “Sure, I’m fine. I just can’t believe how fast time has gone by and my husband is fifty and fabulous. Do you think he will like his party? He’s not much for the big gatherings anymore unless it’s with our kids.”

  “He will love it because he loves you. He knows your heart is in the right place and once he pushes through your front door, he’s going to be incredibly appreciative of all the thought and love you put into giving him a special night and surrounding him with family and friends celebrating him.”

  “From your lips to my ears, I hope you are right. He’s been off lately and very quiet. He says it’s work and new projects covering his desk has him crazy. He only had Rogan be an apprentice until he achieved his master’s and now he has. Rogan can join Lawson full time and be the perfect team like Lawson was when he worked with his father. I know it’s something he’s wanted for a long time and now it’s here. I just want everything to be perfect.”

  “And it will be. You need to follow your own advice sometimes. Go home and enjoy your family. Take tomorrow and enjoy all the pampering I have arranged for you and Emily during your day off, and then tomorrow night, you can party your asses off.”

  “You’ll stop by, right?”

  “Yes, I will be there. Now go!”

  “Okay, Ms. Bossy. Thank you for managing my life the way you do.”

  “You’re welcome. See you at the party.”

  “Yes, you will.”

  As I drove home from my downtown office in Augusta, my mind once again drifted to the lifetime of beautiful memories shared with Lawson. When I think of the first time my father met Lawson Douglas, he just chose to hate him on sight, which only pushed me closer to him. My mother was always on my side and after she forced him out of their bedroom for three full nights, he decided hating Lawson took up too much energy and the back pain he endured was not worth it. So he went from hating to strongly dislike but ultimately waved the white flag for the sake of peace in our family.

  When Lawson was given his deployment orders and seeing how strongly it affected me, that was the day he was welcomed into our family as my future husband. I waited every second of every day for his safe return. He kept his promises and in turn, I kept mine.

  “Where is he? do you see him?” I asked my parents as I stood on my tippy toes through the crowd of excited people waiting for their loved ones to step off the plane. “There he is, mom, oh my goodness, he looks so good.”

  “I see him, darling. You need to take a breath before you fall over.”

  “Mom, I can’t help myself. It feels like forever since I last saw him.”

  “Well baby girl, there he is and he’s on his way. Go get your man.” I looked over my shoulder at my father and thanked him for his support—finally!

  His arms were already opened and I was calling his name as loud as I could. “Lawson!” I screamed and my body was lifted off the ground and in his arms. I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist, but my mother made me wear a dress.

  “Miss me, baby?” and then he kissed me madly.

  PRESENT…

  Lawson

  I tapped my fingers along the Cherrywood finish of my twelve-seat conference table. I feel as if I’ve been held hostage all day with these investors trying to stall the deal that will make my company a great deal of money. I don’t like my time wasted and in about two seconds I’m going to lose my fucking mind. 1, 2, and—my secretary’s phone buzzes. Yeah, saved by the literal bell.

  She gave me a suggestive look and then discreetly took her call. I let out a frustrated sigh and then finally ended the chaos around me and silenced the room. “Gentlemen, enough with the dancing around and let’s make a deal or get the fuck out of my office, it’s that simple.”

  “Excuse me?” I heard from the end of the table as my eyes found the ones that matched mine—my father, Roman Douglas.

  “I apologize but what choice did you all leave me here?” I asked and then I turned to address Winston Lockhart of Creekside Orchards, and landowner of the biggest orchards in the state of Georgia. “Winston, what’s it going to be? If you read over those contracts one more time, you’re going to go blind. What’s the problem?”

  “Lawson, the problem is you want a piece of what I got and I don’t play nice with others, especially when they are trying to steal my land from under me.”

  “Now wait just a minute,” my father roared from where he was seated. I raised my hand with respect and wanted to show him that I could handle Winston. He sat back down and let me do what I was good at.

  “Before another word is spoken, I think we should clear the room because I don’t believe you want me embarrassing you in front of your entire board, now, do you?” He remained silent and looked around before finally waving his hand and one by one his team vacated their seats and Alison was back to escort them to the waiting area.

  I took off my suit jacket and loosened the tie while I was at it. Removing my cufflinks and rolling up my sleeves, I was now comfortable to tell Winston exactly what I thought of him and his usage of improper words.

  “First of all, let’s get something straight. The Douglas Company does not steal, never has nor will it ever. There’s only one thief in this room and I’m looking at him.”

  “How dare you!” he got up to get in my face. I rose with my bigger frame towering over him and then he stepped back before sitting down.

  “No, how dare you?” I retorted. “Ten years ago, Lockhart bought up thousands of acres that had gone deserted. Land that was once prominent farms until the market crashed along with bad weather destroying everything in its path and leaving the farmers to fall on hard times. You swept in and bought it all not even close to market value. I want that land back and you are not leaving this room until I get it. You know we have the money and our offer is a very good one that has been presented here to you. It’s a deal over a year in progress. The filtration systems that Lawson will install will make that land prosper again and bring back those farming families.”

  “You saw an opportunity to collect and you ran with it. You made a lot of money benefitting from the less fortunate. I suggest you take what has been proposed to you and run with it because the clock is ticking and I won’t be so generous again if you don’t sign today, hell, I might just lose my fucking mind and kill the deal completely, but then we would both lose.”

  “And, why is that? You holding out on me?”

  “No, Douglas does their business the honest way. Let’s just say I have some pull in all the right places and hell will freeze over before that land becomes another fucking shopping mall.”

  “You can’t do that!”

  “Yes, I can and I will if I have to wait another five minutes for your answer. What’s it going to be, Winston? Sign on the dotted line or pay taxes on dirt that will never see structure on it.”

  He huffed in frustration and then asked for those five minutes to speak with his team. I gave it to him which gave me time to collect my thoughts and deal with my father who has had his reservations about this matter from the very beginning. The door closed and I braced myself for a fight but that didn’t happen. He tapped my shoulder which he always did when he was proud of me and then the words followed.

  “I am in awe of you son. If I didn’t see it or hear it, I might not have believed it. You have that guy pissing his pants right now. Tell me this, is it true?”

  “Yes, it is. I already have killed it if he doesn’t sign.”

  “Mind telling me how?”

  “Yes, I do. You made me CEO for a reason, let me do what I do best.”

  “You’re right, son. You asking me here today meant a great deal to me.”

  “Dad, you taught me everything I need to know to be able to do this job, and I hope I have passed that knowledge down to Rogan.”

  “You have, and that boy of yours is so smart. I have no doubt when I’m gone, I can die a happy man.”

  “You’re not dying and certainly not a
nytime soon.” I was about to say more and then Winston returned.

  “You win, Lockhart accepts your proposal and is going to sign off on it today.”

  “Good choice, Winston, a very good choice. Here, use my pen.”

  My team along with my father raised their glasses up in my honor and took a sip of the chilled champagne we held on ice for most of the day.

  “Well done son, you are amazing. Your grandfather is smiling down on you today and I know is very proud too.”

  “Thank you, dad, I appreciate it.” I topped off my glass and gulped it down like it was water. It should have been scotch on account on the day I just had. My father seemed to be in the mood to chat but I was not.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “At the moment, not a damn thing.”

  “Try again.”

  I looked over at Alison and strategically avoided my father and his questions. “Has everything been filed?”

  “Yes, sir, everything is good to go.”

  “Perfect.”

  “Okay, if there’s not anything else you need, I’m going to call it a day.” I silently counted to five and just when she was almost home free, I called her back.

  “Oh, Alison, one more thing.”

  “Sir?”

  “The phone call earlier. Is there anything I need to know?”

  “Oh, no, it was just one of our distributors confirming a delivery date.”

  “Really? Which one?”

  “Son, what does it matter? I’m sure Alison handled it.” I gnashed my molars together.

  “Thank you, dad, but I wasn’t asking for your input.”

  “And, that’s my cue to leave. Talk to you later, Lawson.”

  Fuck! “Yeah, goodnight.” My father was not the one I was pissed at, no that honor went to my assistant here, and one other person I’ve yet to accuse until I confirm what I think I know.

  “So, the distributor? Which one was confirming?”

  “Pittsboro,” she muttered. “You know how they are, always double checking.”

  “You know, maybe I should call over there and get Jim on the line just to put his mind at ease.”

  “No! You can’t do that.”

  “Why not? I’m the CEO, I can do whatever I want.”

  “And, I am your administrative assistant which is so much more than a secretary. I have it handled.”

  “You’re right, and I know better to question you when I know you are the most honest and efficient and trusted person I have here on my staff. I mean, what would I do without you?” I knew I was being an asshole questioning her when I rarely did, but my reasons had not one thing to do with business. This was personal.

  She was biting the shit out of her lip and just when I thought I had her, my phone buzzed in my pocket, giving her the opportunity to escape. She called out, “good night” and was out the door faster than I could blink. I pulled out my phone and didn’t look at the number before answering.

  “Douglas” I curtly answered.

  “Hey babe, are you coming home soon?”

  “Renee,” I deeply sighed. There was silence on the line for a minute and then I felt like a total dick.

  “I’m sure you’re busy, I was just calling to ask if you were making it home for dinner? I’m running late myself and wanted to see what you were in the mood for?”

  I thought, how about a new life? “Sorry, it’s been a long day. I’m leaving here in a few.”

  “Great. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I sighed and then poured myself a scotch. “Happy Birthday, Asshole!”

  PRESENT…

  Renee

  I’d been home for more than an hour since disconnecting with Lawson. I know my husband vehemently told me his reasons why he didn’t want to make a big deal about his birthday but I wasn’t having it, and the kids agreed with me. They wanted their father celebrated and begged me to overrule what Lawson wanted and just do what we want for him. Judging by the tone he used while he was on the phone with me, I think he is on to us.

  My timing was completely off when I called Alison earlier to see if Lawson was still in his meeting. She was supposed to call me when he wrapped up his meeting but it was taking longer than expected and I called her back interrupting her in the middle of it. Now I was screwed because she doesn’t lie well and knowing how Lawson’s mind works, I’m sure he drilled her with his incessant questions.

  I don’t understand why he’s behaving like this. What is the big deal about having a party and celebrating with people who love him? The kids don’t get it either but I assured them all would be fine but now I am doubting my own good intentions.

  It’s no secret he has been distant since losing his mother. His father expected it for a while now but not Lawson. He never gave up faith and held on to all the hope he had. He was devastated when his father had phoned him in the middle of the night with news of her passing. Her only wish was not to die in a hospital or anything resembling a hospice. After talking with her family and making sure they all understood her wishes, the decisions were made and she signed herself out. Lawson spent every minute he could with her and the night before she died, we all had dinner together and laughed about every story Lawson and Roman could fit in a short amount of time before she tired and asked to go to bed. We all gave her a hug and told Becca we loved her never knowing it would be the last time we would hear her voice or see her smile.

  She fought her cancer to the very end, so brave and strong. When Roman called us to tell us the news, Lawson got up without saying a word to me and drove over to his parents’ home. It would be a full day before he came home to me. I knew where he was but I never understood why he would just coldly shut his family out. We always leaned on one another and never went to bed angry. It was a rule we made very early on in our marriage. Both our parent’s marriages were loving and strong, we always vowed to be better than both of them put together. Lawson said our love was invincible and we would always be happy. It’s what I’ve been trying to do for him every day since his mom died but I feel as if I am failing at every turn.

  “Mom, are you home?” Perfect timing! Emily’s here.

  “Hi honey, I’m in the office.”

  “Mom! Come on, Cosmos on me.”

  “Can I get a hug first?”

  “Yes, you can.” Emily wrapped her arms around me and squeezed as hard as she could. We’ve always had a close relationship and she is the perfect remedy for my mood tonight.

  “So, I thought we were meeting at the spa tomorrow morning? What brings you by tonight? Not that I’m complaining because I love that you’re here.”

  “Ugh! Gus is studying and kicked me out telling me that I was a distraction. I didn’t even get mad because he said it in such a sweet way and then kissed me all over and begged me to go or he would change his mind and fail his test.”

  “He’s sweet, one of the good ones. I’m happy I have such an understanding daughter when it comes to her future husband’s priorities.”

  “When’s his exam?”

  “Tomorrow morning at nine.”

  “He’s going to pass it with flying colors and then I can officially bring him on board at the wellness center. You two have worked so hard in school and in your internships. I am so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, mom, we just fit, you know?”

  “Yeah, I know a thing or two about that.”

  “Ice cream?”

  “Yeah, and lots of it.”

  “Okay, I’ll fill the bowls, you pick the movie.”

  “I’m on it.” I looked down at my watch and deeply sighed. “Where are you, Lawson?” I thought and then pulled my phone from my pocket and called my missing husband only to get his voicemail. I ended the call and decided not to stress over it. “He’ll come home.”

  Emily had gone to bed way before the closing credits had begun. I told her I was right behind her but wanted to wait up for her dad. When she c
aught the time she was taken back by how late it was and questioned why her father hadn’t arrived home yet.

  I assured her that all was fine and he had a late meeting. Our daughter was very smart and I knew she wasn’t buying the bullshit story I was trying to believe myself, but with a hug and kiss the subject was dropped and she went to bed.

  “Lawson, it’s me, again. Where are you? Because I know where you’re not and I’m worried. Emily is here and Rogan will be here tomorrow. Please come home to your family. We love and need you. Okay, I’m going to go to bed now. Please wake me up when you get home.”

  After the clock struck two, I went to bed without Lawson by my side and left to wonder if he would come home at all.

  “Mom, coffee’s on,” Emily called up from the bottom of the stairs.

  “I’ll be right down,” I called out and then closed my bedroom door sliding down to the floor. I hugged my knees and fought back the tears that would fall if I wasn’t so strong to hold them back. I was worried last night but now I’m angry that Lawson hadn’t returned my calls or messages, and I still have no idea where he is. The kids are home and it’s his birthday, so I am going to refrain from flipping out and ruining this weekend that our children have been looking forward to. When it’s over and it’s just us two again, Lawson Douglas has some explaining to do.

  “Good morning, Emily, how did you sleep?” I asked my daughter before giving her a hug.

  “Slept great and then I was so energized this morning, I went for a run and as I was coming in, I nearly crashed into daddy on his way out. He’s always telling me to take my headphones out but I never do.”

  “So, dad was home?”

  “Um, yeah, where else would he be?”

  “I guess I was just curious because I waited until two and he hadn’t come home yet.”

  “Well, he was dressed and leaving for work when I saw him, so I’m sure he came home. I wouldn’t worry. Now, are you ready for our spa day because I know I am.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Let’s go.” Yup! Like I was saying, Lawson Douglas, you have some explaining to do.