Finding Justus

by Bretz, Amanda

  “Oh,” was all Justus could think to say. She felt very relieved and somewhat embarrassed at the same time. “I’d like a drink now,” she said.

  Over drinks, Miguel told her he was hoping to open up a nightclub, restaurant and dance studio, in Miami’s very trendy South Beach. She’d also learned he was native to Cuba, and had moved to the United States as an adolescent. He informed her he was an instructor at a dance academy in Miami during the winter months, and he moonlighted as a waiter, as well as teaching on cruise ships as he’d been doing for the past three summers.

  Once they’d gotten their drinks at the crowded bar, she and Miguel sat at a table, and took a much-deserved breather. Justus felt it was a pleasant conversation, despite shouting over the loud music. She learned Miguel was twenty-eight, and he lived in Miami.

  “Wow! Talk about ambition,” she said of his multiple jobs.

  “Well, any sacrifice is worth it to me, if it helps me attain my dream faster. I’m so close now; I can almost taste the food and see the people dancing at my club. Hey, I’ll be right back. Will you excuse me a minute, Justus?”

  “Sure.”

  She watched his form walking away and moaned to herself. She dropped her gaze to her now empty glass and scolded herself for feeling attracted to him so soon. That wasn’t like her at all. She wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but knew that wasn’t completely accurate. He was so good looking, but there was something else there, drawing her in. Something she couldn’t quite place her finger on.

  “Oh well, I might as well just go with this, whatever it is,” she muttered to herself. A male body materialized beside her, but she knew without looking it wasn’t Miguel. Not the Weasel again, she thought. She glanced around frantically looking for Krystal or Miguel, but she couldn’t find them anywhere. Instead, she looked up at the disgustingly greasy-haired, big-nosed Weasel.

  “Hey, baby you’ve been dancin’ wit that joker long ‘nough, come and dance wit me now,” he slurred as he teetered dangerously and drunkenly over her. “Where is he anyway? The man’s a damn fool to leave some hot lil’ piece like you all alone, come on.”

  “Miguel will be right back, uh…” she tried to remember his name, but all she could think of was Weasel. “Besides that, my feet hurt and I’m about to leave. Actually, would you mind telling Krystal I’m ready?” She asked, giving him what she hoped was a charming smile.

  “What, leave? Leave?” He asked belligerently. “You’re not leaving here until you dance wit’ me like you did that loser. Now come on,” he said grabbing her arm.

  “No! I said my feet hurt,” she said between clenched teeth. “Now, if you don’t want to pass the message along to Krystal, then get the hell on.”

  “Hey, now,” he said in a low voice he obviously thought was sexy, “it’s all right. You don’t gotta get mad, I just wanna dance, baby.”

  He began rubbing her shoulder and trying to get closer to her face. Justus edged away, while he stared into her face with glassy eyes. She watched, as though in slow motion, as a hand gripped the top of his arm. The Weasel looked up angrily, then when he realized the hand belonged to Miguel, his face softened into a mixture of fear and surprise.

  “I don’t think she’s interested,” Miguel said in a tight, controlled voice.

  “I uh, was, I was just askin’ her if she knew where our friends went off to.”

  Miguel didn’t appear to believe him. He reached for her hand and pulled Justus to a standing position. “Look,” Miguel said a touch too loudly. It was obvious to most passerby that his patience had worn thin. “I saw her face, and she looked terrified. I know whatever it was you were saying to her, you weren’t saying with respect. I think you’ve drank enough, so why don’t you leave her alone, put down your drink and find your way back to your room. Have a good night.”

  Miguel, still holding her hand, turned to walk away, expecting Justus to follow, and she did only because it was better than being left alone with the Weasel. As she turned, she saw Krystal on the dance floor and motioned for her to come over to Justus and Miguel. Krystal murmured something to her partner, and joined the two of them.

  “Are you okay? Do you want to stay or go?” Miguel asked.

  Justus gave him a dirty look and shrugged, “I’m really surprised you’re actually asking me! I figured you would just tell me when I’m supposed to leave,” she said.

  “What? Justus is everything okay?” Miguel asked her with a perplexed look on his handsome face.

  “Yeah, I want to go, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Stay, if you want to.”

  Miguel looked at the dance floor and gave a dismissive wave toward it. “I don’t care about staying, I dance every day,” he said with a small, tender smile.

  Justus felt her resolve slip a little, and then she remembered how angry his scene with the Weasel made her.

  “What’s going on?” Krystal asked.

  “I’m kind of ready to go, that’s all. Is that okay with you?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” she replied looking at Justus suspiciously.

  “I think you should tell the guy you were dancing with his friend needs to go back to his room. He’s had way too much to drink,” Miguel said as he wrapped a possessive arm around Justus.

  The reminder of the scene, plus the way Miguel had his arm around her shoulder, made Justus quake with anger all over again. She turned abruptly and started walking toward the exit without as much as a backward glance to Krystal or Miguel. They finally caught up with her right outside of the club. Miguel reached her first and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

  “You know, I don’t need you to fight for me, or protect me. I can stand up for myself.”

  Krystal let out a gasp and tried to sputter an excuse for Justus, but Miguel cut her off.

  “Well, I don’t need to fight for you or protect you. I wanted to,” he said before turning to walk away and leave both women open-mouthed in surprise.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “What’s going on? What are you two fighting about?”

  “We aren’t fighting, because there is nothing to fight about.”

  “Then what the hell just happened?”

  “That guy, that ugly, weasel-looking guy, was drunk and decided he wanted to get a little friendly with me while Miguel went to the bathroom. So, when Miguel came back, he saw it, got all pissed off and jealous, and kindly took the Weasel’s hands off of me, and told him I wasn’t interested.”

  “And…?”

  “And nothing, I don’t need him to get jealous and try to fight for me. It’s not his place first of all, and secondly, Miguel was being too possessive.”

  “Too possessive? Wow,” Krystal closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. “He didn’t do it because he needed to Justus, did you stop and think maybe he did it because like he said, he wanted to. Maybe because he likes you? Justus, I can understand how hard it is for you to relax and be able to trust in someone, especially after what happened with Alex, but I honestly think Miguel likes you and wants you to like him as well.”

  Justus stood next to her friend with a rigid spine and her arms crossed over her chest. When she allowed Krystal’s words to sink in she dropped her defensive posture. Finally she let her arms droop to her sides while she thought about her silly and rude behavior toward Miguel.

  “Krys, I know you’re right. It’s just my whole life I’ve had a problem trusting people, and the one time I finally let my guard down and did trust someone whole-heartedly, it came back to bite me on the ass.” Krystal said nothing in return, but merely nodded her head in agreement.

  “I know having trust in Miguel isn’t like what I went through before. I know he’s not Alex. I know this Krystal, honestly I do, but I really have my doubts as to whether or not I can convince my emotions otherwise. I’m just trying to protect myself, you know. I guess I came off a little too harsh. Can we not talk about this anymore tonight? We planned on having fun tonight
, and I would still like to.

  “I have a sudden burst of energy,” Justus said. “I don’t feel a bit tired. How about we go back to the room and order some room service? I’m talking about the really fatty stuff, and stay up all night talking, laughing and getting delirious. Sound good to you? I need to have a good old-fashioned girl’s night in tonight. Well, what’s left of the night.”

  “Sure why not. We haven’t done anything like that in a really long time.”

  Less than an hour later they were sitting in their room, lounging in their pajamas and eating everything from pizza, to burgers, to cheesecake.

  “This is the life,” Justus said around a mouthful of pizza.

  “Mm-hm,” Krystal grunted, her own mouth full as well. Krystal swallowed her food and cleared her throat, her expression suddenly serious. “I’m glad you decided to come on this cruise, and I am even happier you brought me along with you. It has really given us a chance to bond with one another again.”

  Justus set down her slice of pizza for a moment. “Krys that’s such a sweet thing to say, thank you. I’m really happy you came along with me, too. Oh gosh, listen to the two of us, getting all weepy. This is supposed to be a fun girl’s night. Perhaps I need to lighten the mood a bit,” Justus said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

  “You know, I never told you this, but Alex was really horrible in bed. I mean he was totally selfish. He always had to take care of himself first, and I kind of got thrown by the wayside. You know the little blonde at the hotel was actually begging him to stay! I don’t know who I have less respect for, him for cheating on me, or her for begging him stay.”

  “You’re crazy!” Krystal said as she wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

  “Why, because I’m dishing up personal details about my ex-fiancé at three a.m., on my honeymoon, might I add?”

  “No, you’re sane in that respect. I meant you’re crazy for staying with someone like Alex knowing he was a rotten lover as well as an uptight loser.”

  “Well, I knew about the rotten lover and the uptight part, but the loser part didn’t come until much later.”

  “So, I guess L-O-V-E made his bedroom skills, uh, how can I put this delicately? Bearable?” Krystal asked with a laugh.

  Justus laughed herself and said, “I really don’t know, I mean I think it’s just one of those things in hindsight you realize was awful, but at the time it seemed okay. I mean I thought since we were in love it didn’t matter. But, I now realize you can’t really change a bad lover who’s unwilling to change.”

  Justus and Krystal both started laughing even harder at this and continued for several minutes, finally Krystal said, “I’m drunk, but I get what you are saying, Jus. You looked past his flaws, and in my opinion he had many, but you loved him anyway. That’s the way you’re supposed to be in a relationship.”

  “Right, so since I don’t have any flaws,” Justus said jokingly, putting one hand on her chest, while the other held her drink.

  “Why were you the one who got screwed over?” Krystal finished for her.

  “Yeah, I think so. I don’t remember at the moment, I guess I’m getting a little tipsy. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t tell you about this before. I was embarrassed I guess. Maybe I felt as though you would think I was naïve or gullible. I mean, he was engaged to me and I couldn’t see he was a cheater, for crying out loud.”

  “It’s okay Justus. You can’t blame yourself for everything. You weren’t doing anything wrong by trusting in Alex, that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

  She shrugged, “Yeah, I know you’re right. Well, Krys this is off the subject, but I could really use some shut eye right about now. I think all the alcohol has finally caught up to me.”

  “Me too, goodnight,” Krystal said as she pushed her empty plate aside and snuggled down into the covers.

  ***

  The next morning the ship pulled into the first port of call. After eating breakfast, they walked onto the top deck to get a bird’s eye view of their stunning surroundings. “Wow, look at how beautiful it is here, Krystal. We’re in Puerto Rico, isn’t it so exciting?”

  “Yes, it’s unbelievable. I never even imagined tropical places like this existed.”

  The two hurried down to the bottom level of the ship and walked out into the brightly painted port of San Juan. They went shopping and sight-seeing, with Krystal practically dragging Justus into every store in the quaint area of Old San Juan. Justus would have been happy to simply sit and people-watch taking in the unique sights, sounds and smells surrounding her.

  Justus’ eyes feasted on the centuries-old buildings, and the Spanish colonial-style architecture. She noticed the cobblestone streets as soon as they’d left the dock and would’ve liked nothing better than to grab a cup of coffee and find a comfortable seat at the Plaza de Armas, which according to the literature she’d brought with her from the ship, was Old San Juan's main square. As Justus followed Krystal into the various shops, she read more about the Plaza’s four statues which represented the four seasons and was located in the center of the Plaza de Armas. While she quickly scanned her brochure about the port, she learned the statues were over one hundred years old and the area had served as a social meeting area for generations.

  “Oh, look at that cute little shop,” Krystal said excitedly, interrupting her reading. Justus stifled a groan and bid a silent farewell to any hope of seeing the rest of the old metropolis. She wanted to learn more about the city’s antique architecture, but she knew Krystal didn’t share her enthusiasm for historic construction.

  Once they boarded the ship again, Justus and Krystal put away their purchases and prepared themselves for dinner. It turned out they were able to squeeze some sight-seeing in between shopping. They had visited a brewery and between the two of them, they had purchased the maximum bottles of alcohol they could bring back onto the ship.

  “Well, I think we can safely say we have a lifetime supply of rum,” Justus said with a laugh.

  As Krystal laughed with her, Justus realized she was getting back to her old self. This was the real Justus and her personality had started shining through over the past couple of days. She knew Krystal hadn’t seen this version of her friend for a long time. As much as Justus was a strong, independent, and opinionated woman, she now knew somehow she’d lost a lot of herself when she had been with Alex.

  ***

  After dinner Krystal wanted to go back to the cabin but Justus wanted to walk off her food so she toured the ship alone.

  “I shouldn’t be more than half an hour.”

  “Oh, Jus please, I don’t mind how long you walk. Don’t worry about coming in late and waking me either. I’m just not up for anymore activities today.”

  “Okay, but I probably will only be thirty minutes, so if you’re hinting around that I can find Miguel and stay out late with him, don’t waste your breath.”

  “I wasn’t,” Krystal said with mock innocence.

  Justus rolled her eyes and turned to walk in the direction of the deck. Once she was there she walked around the pool, since her knowledge of the boat was still limited. As she looked up, she couldn’t help but admire the sky. It was a beautiful night, clear and full of bright stars. It looked to her as though the heavens and the ocean met and were almost one.

  “It’s beautiful out here isn’t it?”

  At the sound of his deep, accented voice Justus turned toward Miguel. “Hi. Yeah, it really is.”

  “I try to come out here as much as I can when I’m on the ship. The sky looks so different out here. It’s so much bigger and clearer without all the lights of the city to get in the way.”

  Justus nodded in agreement and turned to face him, “Miguel, I’m sorry about last night, about how I acted.”

  “It’s okay, Justus, I understand. You were upset.”

  “No, no I have other reasons and I want to tell you, because I feel like you should know this, for some reason.” She took a deep breath and pr
oceeded. “I’m just not good at relaxing and letting a man act like a gentleman. That may not make sense to you, but it does to me. What I mean is, I’ve never really had anyone take up for me so I’ve always taken up for myself, and I know that’s good, but I have to admit it felt great to know someone else was there to look out for me for a change. I took it wrong last night though, and I looked at it as undermining me as a feminist, instead of you respecting me as a woman. My pride got in the way, that’s all.”

  Miguel took a step toward her and reached for her hands and took them into his own. “That’s okay. I understand, and like I said, I don’t need to know all the reasons why you did what you did. You know why and that’s all that matters to me. Yes, I will admit last night I was angry. I got over it and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way.”

  Justus was getting lost in the emerald pools that formed his eyes and in the beautiful melody in which he spoke. They were still locked in a gaze when Justus realized he was going to kiss her and this time she wanted him to.

  “Miguel!”

  Justus whipped her head to the left to see Tammy coming toward them and stopping suddenly when her eyes landed on Justus. “Oh, I didn’t notice you had company. Am I interrupting anything?” Tammy asked as she looked from Miguel to Justus and back again.

  Justus and Tammy exchanged heated glances and Justus couldn’t help but notice Tammy was wearing another one of her barely-there ensembles. Tonight she was wearing a red sequined mini-dress and her large silicone enhanced breasts were popping out of the spaghetti-strap top. Justus thought Tammy looked cheap and tawdry, but she wondered if Miguel found her attractive. She looked at his face to try to read his expression, he looked perfectly normal, but his fingers, which were still laced through hers, felt tense.

  “No, you weren’t interrupting. Justus and I were taking a walk.”

  “Oh,” Tammy said with a pout. “Well, I guess I’ll just call it a night. It is a beautiful night for a stroll, but I don’t want to walk alone so…I’ll see you in dance class tomorrow morning, Miguel.”