Over and Out

by Fenella J Miller

  He was incapable of speech, tears rolling unchecked down his cheeks, but it wasn’t the paper telling him he was a fabulously rich man he was holding but one of the letters from his father.

  Without hesitation she rushed across and put her arms around his shaking shoulders. ‘It’s been a dreadful shock for you. Leave this and come into the kitchen. Come back when you’re feeling more composed.’

  He allowed himself to be gently steered from the room. Jack was just kicking off his boots and saw at once what was happening. She put two heaped teaspoons of sugar in Jonathan’s drink. He needed it for the shock. They sat on either side of him offering him comfort and support as best they could. Even the dog sensed something was wrong and rested his head against Jonathan’s side.

  ‘I’m recovered now. I’d no idea just how much my parents loved each other. It makes a difference to me knowing I was a wanted baby, that they both sacrificed everything to be together.’

  ‘Did you look at any of the other things in the box?’ Jack asked.

  ‘You mean the inheritance? I shouldn’t think I’ll be allowed to have that – it will go to one of her obnoxious distant cousins. They were mentioned in one of the letters.

  ‘Money doesn’t mean a great deal to me. I’m comfortably situated as I’ll inherit from my grandparents who are both well into their eighties. I’m employed by the government, not a lucrative position, but a purposeful one.’

  ‘Your birth certificate is in that box. When I asked my solicitor, they told me that Mary’s will is valid so the money she left is going to be divided between her friends.

  ‘However, as it was written under the name she was using here and not her actual name there’s a case in law for the trust fund to be considered separately. Lady Mary Sinclair could be said to have died intestate, in which case the courts would award her money to her closest relative – which is obviously you.’

  Whilst she tidied and did the washing up in the scullery, she had the opportunity to think about how this unexpected windfall would change his life. Jonathan wasn’t handsome, but he was pleasant-looking, intelligent, charming and soon would be very rich indeed.

  He might have hung back from romantic encounters because of his gammy leg but it certainly wouldn’t have put her off. She hoped he found himself a lovely young lady to fall in love with. Mary would have wanted that for him.

  They sat and talked for another hour and then they retired. ‘Do you think you could arrange for Jonathan to get a seat in a taxi? He’s got to be at work first thing tomorrow morning for a big meeting with some government officials. There must be an aircraft flying somewhere in that direction.’

  ‘I’m sure there is, and when we explain the circumstances to Frankie, he’ll agree. I thought he was a bit cagey about his actual employment. He could be a spook like Mainwaring, don’t you think?’

  She giggled in the darkness. ‘Absolutely not. He’s far too sensitive. I think he’s probably involved in the imminent invasion, designing portable bridges or something like that.’

  Jack didn’t answer but smoothed back her hair so he could kiss her neck. The usual surge of heat rippled round her and she was about to respond when something held her back. She wasn’t sure if it would be safe to make love as passionately as they did so early in a pregnancy.

  ‘No, darling, I don’t think we should, do you? It might not be safe.’

  ‘I haven’t dared to ask. Do you still think you could be pregnant?’

  ‘I do, I really do. We have to wait another three weeks to be sure but just in case I think we shouldn’t make love for a bit.’

  He pulled her close and kissed her, a long, tender kiss that showed just how much he loved her and that he was as delighted as she that after so many disappointments they were going to have a baby together.

  ‘I’m going to tell Frankie. I don’t want you flying those big buggers anymore. In fact, I don’t want you flying anything.’

  ‘You’ll do no such thing. I give you my word that as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed I’ll hand in my notice, but not until then. Agreed?’

  A year ago she would have been angry that he was trying to dictate her actions, but now things were different between them and she understood he only said these things because he was trying to protect her from danger.

  Twenty-One

  June 1944

  Jack was walking around with a permanent smile on his face. He was going to be a dad and it looked like it might be a Christmas baby. Today would be Ellie’s last day in the ATA and from what he’d been hearing on the wireless since he got up, it was also the day British and American troops would start landing on the Normandy beaches.

  Tuesday June sixth would always be a date he remembered. Ellie was moving about in the bathroom so would be down soon. He was going to have to try and be sensitive to her feelings. She’d once said that anyone could have a baby but only a handful of women could do what she did.

  Tomorrow they were going to Glebe Farm for a couple of days and Ellie was going to give Fred and Mabel the good news. Only Frankie knew why she was leaving as she’d been adamant that she didn’t want a fuss.

  ‘Good morning, sweetheart, I’ve been listening to the wireless and it’s finally happening.’

  ‘You’ve got it on so loud in the drawing room I could hear it perfectly well upstairs.’ She wasn’t smiling and looked a bit washed out.

  ‘Sorry, I’ll turn it down.’

  ‘No point doing it now. It’s a good thing we don’t have neighbours near enough to complain.’

  She ignored the dog who was waiting for his morning stroke and sat at the place he’d laid for her. She ignored the toast and scrambled eggs.

  ‘You should eat, Ellie, it’s not good for you or the baby…’

  ‘Don’t keep telling me that. I don’t like being cosseted and fussed all the time. I’m pregnant not ill. I don’t see why I can’t carry on working until I show.’

  ‘You do show a bit already. I’m sure someone would have commented soon.’

  She rubbed the slight roundness. ‘I suppose so.’

  ‘You promised me you would leave when it was confirmed. It’s not as if you’ll be able to take kites to France – women aren’t allowed to. You’ve done your bit, this bloody war’s almost over, it’s up to the invasion force now.’

  ‘What am I going to do whilst sitting around here all day? I’m going to be bored silly. I need something serious to do for the next few months.’

  ‘Learn to knit, do what other expectant mothers do.’ He hadn’t meant to snap at her but it was too late to retract.

  She put down her mug, slowly stood up and turned to face him. ‘You have absolutely no idea how I’m feeling, do you? I’m one of a handful of women who can fly four-engined bombers, have been invaluable for the past four years and now I’m relegated to being little more than a broodmare. I’m leaving now. I’m going to walk.’

  He didn’t try and stop her. She would recover her temper by the time she got to work and didn’t need him to intervene. He’d felt absolutely bloody awful when he’d lost his hand and thought he was no longer useful. It wasn’t until he’d joined the ATA that he’d recovered and she must be feeling the same sort of despair.

  *

  Ellie walked briskly along the pavement already regretting her childish outburst. It wasn’t that she didn’t want this baby, but she’d loved being part of a man’s world, getting equal pay for doing equal work, and after today she would be relegated to bring just a wife and expectant mother. The little woman at home.

  Her lips curved. The thought of spending her day knitting after the life she’d been leading was just plain daft. A battered van rolled to a halt beside her.

  ‘Morning, Mrs Reynolds, your old bike given up? Want a lift?’ The speaker was Jimmy the local builder.

  ‘Thank you, that would be wonderful.’ She scrambled in and slammed the door. ‘Jimmy, you haven’t forgotten we’ve got a big project for you to do when you’ve got time.�
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  ‘As it happens me and the lads could start tomorrow. I’ve just called in and told your hubby that we’ve managed to find everything you need.’

  Ellie turned her face away as a wave of heat coloured her cheeks. Jack must have sent him after her, so the builder would know there was nothing wrong with the bike.

  ‘That’s splendid. Don’t worry about taking me any further I can walk the rest of the way.’ She was out and closing the door immediately he pulled up.

  If anyone thought it strange that she’d arrived on foot without Jack they didn’t comment. She already knew what her chits would be. She was collecting and delivering Spitfires to Kent all day.

  The taxi was waiting. She scrambled into her flight suit for the last time, collected her chute, but left her overnight bag in the locker. She was the first to climb in and made her way to the back. She thought it unfair that she couldn’t continue to at least fly the taxi for another few weeks even if she wasn’t allowed to deliver operational aircraft.

  The last time she’d flown over Southampton harbour it had been crammed full of ships but now it was completely empty. She hoped the soldiers, sailors and airmen were successful and that this was indeed going to be end of hostilities.

  She should really have waited until Jack turned up so she could put things right between them. He’d been an absolute brick and understood how she felt yet she’d treated him really badly. Tomorrow they were going to tell the family their good news and she was looking forward to that.

  Her Tiger Moth was still safely stored in the hangar at Glebe Farm and next summer they would both be able to fly it again. Her days of being a pilot weren’t over, they were just postponed for a bit.

  There was scarcely time to grab a sandwich between deliveries. The sky above Dover was thick with fighters following the invasion craft and providing much-needed air cover when they landed on the beaches.

  When she eventually stepped out of the taxi Anson for the last time at White Waltham, she was exhausted both physically and mentally. The thought of how many of the brave men setting out today would never return was unbearably sad.

  She put her Sidcot suit and parachute in her locker as she always did, then collected her overnight bag and walked out of the building as if her heart wasn’t breaking. No one wished her goodbye, good luck for the future, as no one was aware this was her last day.

  Jack walked towards her and she fell into his arms. He held her tight. ‘It’s okay, honey, I understand how hard this is for you. We’ll walk home together; I expect that big mutt will be waiting outside as usual.’

  ‘I’m sorry about this morning.’

  He kissed her tenderly. ‘Forget it, I already have.’

  With his arm around her waist she was able to put on a brave smile, hide her sadness, and leave the ferry pool confident she’d made a valuable contribution in the few months that she’d worked from there.

  Grey was ecstatic that his two favourite people were on foot and not on bicycles. They were now as well-known in the neighbourhood as their dog and it took them almost an hour to get home because they stopped and chatted with everyone they met.

  ‘I was going to suggest that you spend a week or more with your folks, give yourself time to adjust without seeing me in uniform every morning.’

  ‘That’s a good idea and I don’t really want to be in the house when the builders are pulling up the floorboards to put in pipes and so on. Are you sure you don’t mind being on your own for a while?’

  ‘I’ll hate it but now that I don’t have to worry about you every time you take off, I’ll be fine. It’s not just since you’ve been pregnant, I spent every day on edge since I was grounded.’

  ‘I know exactly what you mean. It’s impossible to worry about anything apart from flying once you’re in the air. We’re so lucky. Imagine what the wives of those that have left England today must be feeling. For us and our family the danger’s over. We can begin to look forward to the future in a way that they can’t.’

  She stumbled and only his quick reactions stopped her from hitting the ground. ‘You don’t look well, sweetheart. Do you feel okay?’

  ‘Just tired and fed up. It’s going to be a dreadful wrench every time I hear an aircraft overhead.’ She blinked away her tears. ‘I remind myself that next summer we can get out the Tiger Moth and go for pleasure jaunts like we used to.’

  ‘Fred and Mabel will be pleased as that means they’ll see more of us.’

  Although she told him she was fine there was a dragging sensation in her stomach. Not exactly a pain, more a dull ache. It could be nothing, but she thought she would be better off in bed with her feet up. She wasn’t going to tell him she was worried about the baby. He would insist on taking her to hospital and she didn’t want to be prodded and poked by men in white coats.

  ‘I don’t want any supper tonight. Do you mind awfully if I go to bed? I’m sure I’ll feel tickety-boo tomorrow morning.’

  ‘You go up, darling, and I’ll look in on you in a couple of hours and if you’re awake, I’ll bring you something up.’

  She managed to smile. ‘There’s no need to worry, I’m just tired and fed up about leaving.’

  *

  Jack was so concerned about Ellie that he rang Glebe Farm in order to postpone the visit. ‘Nothing to worry about, Fred, but I think she needs at least a day to catch up on her sleep before we have to brave public transport.’

  ‘Don’t you worry about it, son, better to leave it until after the invasion. Don’t want to get in the way of the tanks and lorries.’

  They didn’t know that Ellie had stopped working for the ATA. ‘I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right. We wouldn’t have arranged to come this weekend if we’d known today was to be the day the troops landed in France.’

  ‘You stop at home, son, and tell our Ellie to rest. We’re not going anywhere and with any luck this lot will be over in a few months and you’ll be able to come whenever you like.’

  Jack replaced the receiver. He knew nothing about the first few months of pregnancy but for some reason he thought something was wrong. He checked his watch – was it too late get the doctor to call?

  He would contact Jimmy first thing and put him off. They didn’t want builders tearing up the place at the moment.

  Before he rang the doctor, he’d see how she was. When he’d looked in an hour ago, she’d been fast asleep so maybe he was worrying unnecessarily. He wanted this baby as much as she did but it must be much harder for the woman. If she lost it he wasn’t sure how she’d recover from the double blow.

  He pushed open the bedroom door and she was still sleeping peacefully. Her colour was better and the weight on his chest eased a little.

  ‘Jack,’ she said as he was going out, ‘I’m hungry now. I’d love some toast and tea if you don’t mind bringing it. I’m feeling far too lazy to come down and get it myself.’

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’ll do it immediately. I won’t be long.’

  When he returned, she was sitting up in bed. The curtains were now drawn back and the late evening sunlight streamed in.

  ‘Here’s the toast, I’ll go and get the tea.’ At times like this he really resented his lack of a hand. He’d like to take Ellie a tray with everything on it, not rush up and down stairs bringing one thing at a time.

  On his third journey he brought his own tea. She had already demolished the toast. ‘I’ll make you some more. In fact, I’ll make enough for both of us.’

  An hour later she was fast asleep again and he was no longer concerned. She’d taken it well when he’d told her he’d postponed their visit and agreed with him there was no rush.

  He drew the curtains, and the blackout, before returning downstairs to listen to the nine o’clock news. Spending the next three days just pottering was exactly what they both needed. Much better than traipsing across the country.

  They hadn’t discussed what they were going to do about Eliza. They could afford to kee
p her on but Ellie might prefer to do her own cooking. This was something they could discuss tomorrow. He listened to the news and was heartened by the announcer saying that D-Day had been a resounding success and that victory would surely follow soon after.

  *

  He was woken in the early hours by Ellie shaking him vigorously. ‘I’m bleeding. I’ve lost the baby. You need to call the doctor in the morning.’

  He was out of bed before she finished speaking. ‘Can I fetch anything? Towels or something?’

  ‘I’ve got some. There’s nothing the doctor can do – it’s too late.’ She was crying and he dropped back onto the bed and held her whilst she sobbed. If she said it was too late then she must know what she was talking about.

  ‘Do I need to call an ambulance?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ She pointed to the metal lidded-bucket that they used, if necessary, during the night. ‘It’s in there. I felt it come away. I’m so sorry…’

  He was horrified she’d had a miscarriage and he’d slept through it. ‘It’s not your fault, darling, these things happen.’ He cradled her in his arms and she dozed off a while. He gently put her down on her pillow and got dressed.

  ‘Don’t go, Jack.’

  ‘I’m going to ring the doctor.’

  He was put through by an officious secretary who demanded to know the reason for the call but he told her it was none of her business.

  ‘Doctor George speaking. How can I help you, Mr Reynolds?’

  ‘My wife has had a miscarriage. You saw her a week ago to confirm it. She insists she doesn’t need to go to hospital but would like to see you.’

  ‘Is she bleeding heavily?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then make sure she has plenty of fluids and stays in bed until I get to her. It will be later this morning. If there’s any change in her condition ring for an ambulance immediately.’

  ‘Right, thank you. You have the address?’

  ‘I do, it’s on her medical record.’