Pawn (The Pawn Series Book 1)

by Robin Roseau

  Just then the server made his way to our table. We were furthest from the bar, and so he'd actually seen to the guards first. He told us what was on the menu for lunch and took our order, promising to return with our drinks and a basket of bread shortly.

  Juleena and I made small talk for a while. Our meal arrived -- rabbit stew for both of us, and we dug in.

  The stew was good, and I said as much.

  "The food here is simple but hearty," she said. "A perfect meal on a winter day."

  "You've been here before."

  "Yes," she said. We ate quietly for a while, then she said, "So. I wanted to talk to you about something."

  I looked up and studied her. I didn't think this was as casual a conversation as the setting called for. "All right," I said slowly.

  "You and Muranna did an excellent job for the solstice festival." I smiled at her words. "How do you feel about that?"

  "It was a lot of work, but I think our guests enjoyed themselves."

  "I agree," she said. "But how did you feel about being given so much responsibility?"

  I smiled again. "That felt good, too." Then I looked down. "Everything is so different for me here. I miss Mama. But there's only one other thing I miss from life on The Hippa."

  "What's that?"

  "Feeling useful." I looked up. "I took care of the horses. Every day. And all the other duties of a girl amongst the Arrlotta."

  "Life in Garneer is hard," Juleena declared.

  "Life here can be hard, too," I said. "The milliner we met today works long hours, I bet, and she is an old grandma. But she has a warm, dry home, and she eats every day."

  "Just so. You work hard, Yalla."

  "I play violin," I said. "And learn from my tutors. At first, the violin hurt my fingers, but it is not like a long day in the saddle. It is not work. It is..."

  "Learning to be pretty."

  "Yes." It wasn't intentional, but I put a little attitude into that one word.

  "Mother plays six instruments. Did you know?" I shook my head, somewhat surprised. "I play three, although I am not as gifted as mother." I didn't say anything to that. "Other girls your age still take riding lessons."

  "What?" I said in surprise.

  Juleena smiled. "I can't imagine finding an instructor who rides better than you do, but if I tried to give you to one, she wouldn't know what to do."

  "I don't ride like a Framaran."

  "No. Yalla, it may be you will never skin another animal in your life, although it is possible. You may never again need to forage for food or erect a hut in the face of a storm. Other than your riding, you may never require the skills you acquired as a young girl."

  I hung my head again. She was telling me I was worthless, or so that was how I saw it.

  "Instead, there are other expectations for you."

  "To look pretty," I muttered.

  "No. To run a household. To help run the country. To take the skills we are teaching you and apply them."

  At that I looked up. "What skills? Playing violin? My instructor tells me over and over I began my lessons ten years too late to ever show true promise."

  "I know she does, and I've had words with her about that," Juleena said. "I think it's those words that undermined your devotion-"

  "I study every minute she tells me to!" I interrupted, hotly.

  "But you don't enjoy it, and you don't put your passion into it," Juleena said.

  "I've never heard you play," I pointed out.

  "No. I approached my lessons with the same lack of zeal you've shown, and I wish that had been different." That shut me up for a moment. "But those aren't the skills I was talking about."

  "You mean reading," I said.

  "Yes. And learning what you could from Muranna and then from Malta."

  I said nothing. I could tell she was going somewhere with this. I didn't care for her next words.

  "Yalla, I'm going to tell you some things you won't like. But I hope I am going to tell you things you will like as well."

  "Juleena-"

  "Quiet and let me get this out." And so I nodded. "You and Muranna are destined for different things."

  "I don't understand."

  "Muranna is going to always be what she is," Juleena said. And she was wrong about that, but no one could have predicted what would come to be. "She will be sweet and charming and a somewhat colorful member of high society."

  "Which is what you're trying to make me into."

  "Actually, no. We're trying to help you learn to survive in that society, and for those purposes, Muranna was perfect. You are both foreign born, and while we didn't realize it at the time, in a way, you are two peas in a pod. You would not have embraced life here so completely if we'd assigned someone else to you. For this gift she's giving you, Muranna will always hold a special place in our hearts."

  That made me feel good to hear.

  "But in spite of her help on the Winter Solstice Festival, Muranna will never be involved in helping to run the country."

  "And I will?"

  "That is our hope," Juleena said.

  "But why can't Muranna help as well?"

  "Because she isn't Framaran."

  "Neither am I."

  "Ah, but you are adopted into the queen's household, and so, you have become Framaran."

  "I'll always carry this accent," I said. "I'll always carry my heritage."

  "Are you suggesting you haven't become Framaran?"

  "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying Muranna is every bit Framaran as I am."

  "That is not true," Juleena said. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer."

  "I've never lied to you, Juleena."

  "I know you haven't. But I'm stressing how important it is you think before you answer." And so I nodded. "Is your loyalty to me and to Queen Ralalta, or is it to your grandfather, the leader of the Three Cats Tribe?"

  That was an easy question, "You, of course."

  "Perhaps your loyalty is divided."

  "No," I said firmly. "It's not."

  "Are you absolutely sure."

  "Of course I'm sure."

  "I do not want you asking Muranna this, but if you asked her a similar question, her answer would not be the same as yours, Yalla. Her first loyalty is still to her home country. At the very best, she might be divided, but I don't believe so."

  I stared at Juleena, unsure what to say.

  "Let me spell this out further," she said. "There have been no raids from Garneer into Framara since we left three and a half years ago."

  "Good."

  "But if they were to begin again, I would go back to handle it. You understand that, right?" I nodded, but didn't say a word. "What would you do?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Would you try to stop me?"

  "I-" I thought about it. "I'd beg you not to kill anyone. It could be my own mother you end up killing, Juleena. The Three Cats Tribe did not raid across the Wizard's Gorge."

  "So you would beg me to find a diplomatic solution."

  "Yes."

  "If I asked you to help."

  "Yes!" I said firmly.

  "If I took you along, would you betray me?"

  "Of course not."

  "If diplomacy was breaking down, and you knew the only way to stop me from poisoning the wells was to kill me, what would you do?"

  "Beg you to find another solution."

  "And if I remained steadfast?"

  "Beg you to save my mother."

  "Not the rest of the Arrlotta? Would you kill me in my sleep to stop me?"

  "Of course not. Please, I don't want to think about this, Juleena."

  "You have become Framaran, Yalla. You do not wish to see ill happen to the Arrlotta, and you would fight to stop it, which is right and proper. I don't wish ill to them, either. But in the end, the only way you would betray me is to save your mother. And I suppose that is proper, too. But would you betray me to save your grandfather?"

  "
No."

  "Muranna would not answer this way, Yalla. Do you doubt me?"

  I lowered my eyes. "No, probably not."

  She paused for a moment then reached forward and lifted my chin. "And you are the queen's foster daughter. Muranna is not. And so there is another significant difference. Do you see?"

  I nodded, her finger still under my chin.

  "When I took you from Garneer, I didn't know what I was getting," she said. "It may have been you would be wild and untamable. Or you may have been simple and unable to learn the things you have learned. If that had been the case, your future would have gone one way. But you are you, and so your future goes another way. Do you see?"

  And so I nodded again.

  "Maybe Mother and I see a future you don't care for," Juleena said. "Maybe you don't want these responsibilities."

  "I do," I said.

  This time she nodded. "I'm about to ask you a question, but there are significant implications. I don't want you answering me until you understand those implications."

  "All right."

  "Would you like to be my assistant?"

  I stared for a moment. Juleena let me absorb her question, and some of the implications were immediately obvious, especially in light of the beginning of the conversation.

  "What about Muranna?"

  "There will be times we would invite her to help, but she will have her own duties for Lady Griffen. I imagine you will continue to see her, but it wouldn't be every day and night. You've learned from her everything you're going to learn, and now you have to decide if you're ready to learn from me."

  I thought for a minute. If it weren't for Muranna, I'd have said 'yes' already. Instead I asked, "What other implications are there?"

  "First, you won't be able to tell Muranna the things I have you do, at least not without my permission first. Many of the things I do are known only to Mother and me, and now I'm offering to share that with you."

  "Oh," I said in a small voice. "And you trust me?"

  "I would trust your promise," she said. "Next, I would be counting on you, and you would have to rise to the occasion. Do you understand?"

  "I think so."

  "Sometimes it will be boring. That's a necessary portion of my duties. Sitting through court can be deathly boring. Meetings with the ministers can be boring, especially when Lady Mainer begins talking."

  I'd met Lady Mainer, and I shuddered at the thought.

  "What would I do?"

  "Anything I need," she said. "Anything from running errands to filling in for me when I can't be in two places at once."

  I thought some more then had one additional question. "Is this about teaching me or about helping you?"

  "Both. At first, it will be largely about teaching you, but over time you'll take responsibilities from me." She leaned forward, "as the queen's younger daughter."

  I stilled at that and then nodded. "I'm not just a peace promise anymore."

  "No, you're not."

  "All right," I said with a smile. "I'd love to be your assistant."

  "Good," Juleena said. She leaned forward and clasped my hands. "Today is for us. Tomorrow we begin."

  "What do I tell Muranna?"

  "The truth," she said. "You have enhanced duties to the crown as befits the queen's adoptive daughter."

  "I'm her foster daughter. If she adopts me, that makes you my sister. And you said we weren't sisters. We're friends."

  "Hmm," she replied. "We'll have to think about that a little more then. But do you believe you will be able to handle the conversation with Muranna?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "I have one more thing to say, Yalla, and if you tell me you can't do this, then we can forget this entire conversation." She paused for me to nod. "If Muranna seems especially pushy to learn what you do for me, I need you to tell me. I'll talk to her myself about this, so she should respect you when you tell her you can't talk about something. All right?"

  I nodded. "All right." I paused. "I don't like this part."

  "Neither do I," she replied. "Muranna is our friend. She has been very good for you. But secrets remain secrets only when very closely held."

  "I understand," I said.

  * * * *

  After that, conversation turned to lighter topics. We eventually made it back to the palace, just in time for me to clean and attend my music lesson. Waiting for me was my next surprise. Both Juleena and Ralalta were speaking to Balla as I entered the room. My violin case in my hand, I stared. The three turned to me.

  "We have a special treat today, Yallameenara," Balla said. "The Queen and the Princess are going to play for us."

  "They are?" Okay, I was struck a little dumb. I admit it.

  Ralalta smiled. "We realized you haven't heard either of us play. We thought we should remedy that." Then she turned to Juleena. "Although I wonder if my daughter remembers a single note."

  "I'll need sheet music," Juleena admitted. But then she opened her arms, and I moved forward, setting my violin case down, and stepped into a hug. That was a little strange, as we'd parted only a half hour previously. Then Ralalta asked for a hug as well, which was nearly as strange.

  Juleena gathered my hand. "Can you turn pages for me, Yalla?" She pulled me towards the piano, and we both took places on the bench. There was music already waiting on the stand. "Can you read that?"

  "Yes," I said. The music was in loose papers printed only on one side of each sheet, so my job would be easy.

  Ralalta moved to stand beside the piano. She was holding a flute. "What key, Yalla?"

  I looked at the music. "Um. F-major?"

  "Is that a question or a statement?" the queen asked.

  I thought before answering then lowered my eyes. "I don't know how to tell between F-major and D-minor."

  "Well, it says good things you realize that," she said. "Maybe you'll decide before we're done." She readied her flute and nodded to Juleena. Juleena took a moment, lifted her hands, and then began to play. Four measures later, the queen began to play her flute, playing without reference to the music.

  I was able to follow the music and slide pages as necessary while also listening to -- and enjoying -- the music. It was a stirring piece, although well beyond my own capabilities. But it was a joy to listen.

  And it was also a joy to watch the queen as she watched Juleena. The princess had said she wasn't a good player, but she was certainly far better on piano than I was on violin, and the pleasure the queen took in playing with her was clear.

  Then they reached the end of the piece, the last notes lingering on the piano before the room grew quiet. I paused a moment then began a one-person applause. Ralalta bowed her head to me.

  "That was lovely," Balla said. "Thank you, Your Majesty. Your Highness."

  "What has Yallameenara been working on lately?" Ralalta asked.

  "An Ode to Lolla Green," Balla answered for me.

  "This one?" Juleena asked, and she played a small portion of the piece I'd recently learned.

  "Yes," I said.

  "But piano is not the right instrument," Balla said firmly.

  "If there is a cello here, perhaps I could play with Yallameenara," Juleena suggested.

  "I-" I said. "Um. I'm not ready."

  "You'll have to do your best," Balla said. "Why don't you tune your violin, Yallameenara?"

  I gulped but moved from the piano bench and set myself to the task. By the time I was done, the three of them were waiting. The queen had a viola, and Balla had her own violin. Only Juleena and I had music stands. I moved into place and gulped again.

  "I haven't played this with anyone else," I said. "I don't know what to do."

  "It starts with solo violin," Balla said. "You will set your tempo and begin. Juleena will come in as cello. And you should not be surprised by what Queen Ralalta and I do. Focus on your playing and do not grow startled."

  I nodded then closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I let it out slowly and opened my eyes. I looke
d at the notes, lifted the violin and bow, counted in my head, and then began to draw the bow across the strings.

  The song began with a sixteen-measure section played twice. The other three were silent as I played through it once. Juleena's cello joined me for the second playing, adding a rich sound I hadn't known was lacking from violin alone. Near the end of the second playing, Ralalta said, "Play that twice more." And so, still playing, I nodded.

  She and Balla came in when I reached the front of the music again. They were playing without music and not even playing the same notes. Instead, it was as if they were playing around me, not exactly with me.

  It was startling, but I focused on the notes and played through.

  An Ode to Lolla Green is actually a sad song, but it had never before moved me emotionally. This time it did, and after drawing the last note from my violin, I brushed tears from my eyes, then stared at the paper. The room was quiet for a moment, then Ralalta said, "Now, that was lovely. Thank you, Yalla."

  I looked up at her and brushed another tear away. The queen was gazing at me kindly. "Is that how the song is written?"

  "What Balla and I did?" she asked. "Of course not. We took a song meant for two voices and added two more. You and Juleena played the voices of the lovers. Balla and I played the voices of the anguished spirits, hoping to turn the love tragedy into a happy ending."

  "You failed."

  "Sometimes that is the nature of life," she said. "What did you think?"

  "It was sad," I said. "And beautiful."

  "And we couldn't have played it without you," Ralalta said. "Yours was the voice of the innocent lover, and it loses its poignancy if played by someone less innocent than you are."

  "When this piece is played at concert," Balla said, "even when the rest of the concert is composed of the greatest professionals, your part is always played by a teenage girl."

  "I made mistakes."

  "Just like in life we all make mistakes," Ralalta said. "But what did you think?"

  "I think," I said slowly, lowering my eyes for a moment. Then I lifted them and looked straight into Ralalta's eyes. "Could we play it again?"

  "Oh, now there's the spirit!" replied the queen. "But how about something more joyous? What else does she know, Balla?"