Finding June

by Caitlin Kerry

  His eyes wandered across my face, taking me in. “June, I heard stories about you while you were away during the summer. The stories don’t even compare to the woman you are. You are a bundle of strength, humor, passion, and love. When you ran into me at work and swore at me, I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. Mostly because you ran into me pretty hard.”

  I laughed and kissed him.

  He broke the kiss way too soon. “Before you attack me, I’m not done. You came into my life and I haven’t been the same since.” He paused as his eyes swept over me. His look spoke the words he was trying to say.

  “I love you. I love you in the quiet times, I love you in the rain, and I love you in the frantic pace of your life.”

  It was my turn for me to gaze into his eyes, to tell him I felt the same.

  I kissed him on his nose and said softly, “I love your tiny kisses and the constant reassurance. I love how you put up with my craziness, but mostly, I love you.”

  And we kissed. We kissed with love and passion, a kiss that was made for movies.

  Reece broke the embrace and said, “That moment when you fell asleep on the way back from the winery. The sun lit up your golden hair and you looked so peaceful. It was at that moment I knew I had come home. I had found my home. It doesn’t matter where we are or what is going on in this life, you’re my home. So don’t think because I slept with you I felt like I needed to say this, because you won me over a long time ago.”

  I took in his words as we held each other. “Are we crazy?” I barely whispered. “Because we have known each other for a little over two months. Is this crazy?”

  Reece kissed me on the forehead, moving his lips down to the spot right below my ear that drove me crazy. “Looking on the outside in, yes it would seem we are crazy. But here … now, holding you, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. I can’t imagine loving anyone else, June.” I kissed him again, my hands finding his.

  “Did you know I saw you on your last day?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was walking in for my first day of work and you bumped into me, but you never looked up. You never saw who you ran into. I turned around and saw your hair light up in the sun. It took me a while to figure you and that girl were the same, but when you were standing on the mountain and the last of the sun shone before it was hidden behind the clouds, I saw the same golden light. I knew it was the same girl. The feeling I had when I saw you that day in May, the feeling like I shouldn’t let you walk out that door because it felt so wrong, made sense. You were never meant to walk out of my life.”

  This time there was no need for words. As I wrapped my arms around him and met his mouth with mine, I let him be my home. We laid on the floor of the kitchen and made love, exploring each other’s body with thought and care. There was no rush, just time to show each other the love we had professed.

  Afterwards, as we crawled into bed, I threw over the down comforter as it began to get even colder at night. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight. It was almost my birthday and this year was almost over.

  While I had cried over all of the things that went wrong, I forgot to rejoice in the things that went right. Reece was definitely something that went right this year. I didn’t want to be in a relationship when I moved home, but Reece crept in and made himself comfortable before I even realized what was going on. I was never so happy to be blindsided before. This was the part where I counted my blessings, the fact I had a roof over my head … well, not mine, but a roof nonetheless. A job, not one in my degree, but a job and that was more than many in the country could say. I had food and clothes … okay, some clothes, but I was warm and not homeless. And I circled around back to the man next to me.

  I saw the clock turn midnight and thought about the new day. I turned around and felt Reece put his arm around me, pulling me closer to cuddle. I heard him whisper in my ear, “Happy Birthday, June.”

  The next morning I woke up with the bed to myself, minus Morrison burrowing into Reece’s side. I looked at the clock to see that it was already eleven. Apparently, after all of the emotional turmoil, I was spent. Or it could have been the intense sex session that might have happened in the middle of the night when I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Reece didn’t mind one bit.

  I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of Reece’s sweats and a tank top from the Target bag. I walked out to the kitchen to the smells of bacon. Rounding the corner, I saw Reece cooking. Sadly he was wearing a shirt, but for safety reasons and what not. I guess I wouldn’t pout … too much.

  “Hey there, my pretty birthday girl,” Reece said as he flipped bacon.

  “What are you making?” I slid onto one of the barstools and watched Reece cook.

  “Bacon and pancakes. I decided to steer away from making crepes, since last time I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out alive.” Reece winked as he flipped golden, fluffy pancakes. Shit, I would keep Reece around just so he could screw my brains out and make me breakfast in the morning. What more does a girl need?

  “Is there coffee?” I asked.

  Reece smiled and reached into the cupboard to grab a cup. I was still a little sleepy and didn’t notice him set the mug down in front of me. I grabbed it, not looking, and took a sip.

  “Happy Birthday, June,” Reece said. I gave him a confused look and saw him nod his head toward the cup in my hand. I glanced down to see a new mug with a picture of adorable puppies cuddling together and in loopy red writing it said, “Puppy Love”.

  I felt tears in my eyes as I looked up at Reece.

  “I know it’s not a lot, but I figured we could restart your collection.”

  “I love you,” I said. There was nothing else to say.

  Jo came over to Reece’s house later on in the afternoon with a birthday present. It was a new sundress for my party tonight.

  “This year was actually pretty easy to find you a present, since ... ya know, you don’t have anything.”

  “Funny, Jo,” I deadpanned as I slipped the dress on. It was a deep blue wraparound dress that flirted with looking too nice but still casual. The blue dress had white flowers patterned on it, giving it a retro vibe. Jo handed me another box that held a pair of funky black flats. Of course my best friend knew me and everything fit perfectly. I straightened my hair, layered on some mascara, and even went extra fancy today and put on eyeliner. You only turn twenty-four once.

  “So you shacked up with Reecey-Boy and are madly in love now?” Jo asked.

  “I shacked up with Reece because my place burnt down.” Yes, there was more to it; subconsciously I wanted to be here. “I’m looking for my own place starting tomorrow. Or at least in a little bit while I wait for my insurance check to come in.” Having parents who were on top of everything can, at times, be annoying. But not so annoying when they insisted that you had renter’s insurance and then suddenly, you actually had to use it.

  “And yes. We are madly in love. That one I will admit.”

  Jo coughed as she tried to take a drink of the beer she was holding. “Damn, I never thought I would hear you admit that. I totally owe Bethany twenty bucks.”

  Pausing, I turned to my best friend. “You bet on it? Seriously. Actually, never mind. That would be something you would do.” I returned to applying my makeup.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I figured it would take at least another month before you said the three big words. I also thought you would have had crazy monkey sex by now as well.”

  I stopped what I was doing and glanced over at Jolene.

  “Holy shit, you already have had the crazy monkey sex? Tell me now.”

  “Last night. Yes, it was amazing. The man has some talented hands. It was never like that with Owen. I mean, it was good, but with Reece, it’s so much more.”

  “Damn,” Jo said.

  Reece walked in at that moment and asked what we were talking about. At the same time I said, “Nothing.” Jo
said, “The hot monkey sex you are having.”

  “Jesus, Jo. Censor yourself.” I threw her a dirty glare.

  She raised her hands in defense. “Says the girl who doesn’t even know the meaning of censoring!” Jo snapped as she left the room. Hooker.

  “I hope you were only saying good things,” Reece said as he wrapped his arms around me.

  “What do you think?” I jabbed him with my elbow.

  He let go and kissed me on the top of my head before he walked away. However, he made sure to say, “That I am the best you ever had,” before he walked out the door.

  Yeah, I wasn’t going to admit to him that he was right. His ego didn’t need to be anymore inflated.

  I was already two glasses of wine into my birthday and I was hoarding the bottle, walking around with it and filling my glass when needed. It was my birthday. I didn’t have to share.

  I was observing the room. My friends from work were here. I had insisted Reece invite Hannah, even when he fought it, afraid of underage drinking, but I made sure he watched her. I surely couldn’t because I was on my way to birthday tipsy town. But what I was watching was pretty interesting. Caleb and Jolene were cozy on the love seat, Jo animatedly talking with her hands and Caleb couldn’t look away. The look in his eyes were quite familiar, since it was the same one I had given Reece so many times. Like the person in front of you held all the answers. And another interesting factor in this scene was the young Hannah, who was talking to Reece, but kept stealing glances to Caleb. I bit my bottom lip as I internally groaned; this situation could get messy pretty quick. I saw Reece turn and catch my eye, he winked and I moved over to him and Hannah. Soon, it was the five of us sitting around the living room drinking wine and laughing at Jolene’s stories. I was surrounded by people who cared for me. It could have been the wine talking, but I had all the warm fuzzies going on right now.

  As the party went on, I continued drinking my birthday wine and celebrating with friends. After glass four I think Reece might have tried to take the bottle from me, but it was almost empty so I finished the last in my glass and gave it to him instead. At this point, who needed a fucking glass? As I walked around in my less than sober state, I finished the bottle in my hand, chucked it into the trash, and reached for another one.

  “I should really try to stop you right now, huh?” Reece asked as he watched me twist the cap off. Because, yes, screw corks in a bottle, I was going straight to classy town with my twist off cap.

  “Do you need help?” Reece asked me. I saw my attempt to twist off the cap was failing. Maybe I really did need to stop drinking if I couldn’t even get the cap off.

  Oh, fuck it.

  No one likes a quitter. I held out the bottle to Reece and watched him effortlessly remove the top.

  “I don’t know who is going to regret this more, me or you, June,” Reece said as he handed me the bottle back. I took a drink straight from the bottle.

  “Probably you.”

  And that was all I remembered.

  The next thing I knew I was waking up in a really dark room. I swear it was never this dark in Reece’s room. Usually the sun shining through the blinds woke me up. And wow, wherever I was, it was really cramped and uncomfortable. What the fuck? Where was I? And Holy Jesus Christ, Mary, and Joseph did I feel like shit. I moved and felt something cold meet my back. I looked down to see I was only wearing a bra and panties.

  Suddenly I felt like my head was going to explode when a light was turned on.

  “Oh shit balls, please turn off that light!” I covered my eyes, still not knowing where I was.

  “I see you’re awake.” Reece. At least I wasn’t lost. The light was turned off and I felt marginally better. But not really.

  “Where am I?”

  “In the bathtub.”

  I sighed. “Why am I in the bath tub?”

  “Because you insisted you sleep in here in case you had to throw up. You were worried you were going to get sick on me and you couldn’t deal with that.”

  Ah, I had again found a perfect opportunity to embarrass myself in front of Reece. Apparently being in love still made it possible to be embarrassing. It looked like any time an opportunity presented itself for the occasion I was all over it. Happy birthday to me? Fuuuuccck.

  “Did you at least get to answer your question?” My head was pounding and my stomach wasn’t feeling too hot either. Wine hangovers were the worst.

  “What question is that love?” Reece sounded way too smug right now. If I had the energy to get up I would totally attack him.

  I closed my eyes. “Who regretted it more?”

  “Oh that’s you. Definitely you,” Reece said as he laughed.

  I sunk deeper into the cold tub. I had no plans on leaving it any time soon. Reece had other plans and grabbed me under my arms, lifting me up.

  “I’m going to throw up on you if you don’t let go.” I was only half kidding.

  I was able to stand on my own when it hit me and I knew I wasn’t kidding at all. I moved away from Reece and luckily was able to hit the toilet easy enough. I knew there was a reason why I insisted on being in the bathroom. Reece held my hair like a true gentlemen. This man kept proving to me over and over again he was a keeper.

  After I was finally able to leave the bathroom, I put on a pair of sunglasses and sat in the living room. The brightness of the sun was making my headache ten times worse. I was sure I looked like a hot mess at this point. I probably hit hot mess status when I finished the second bottle of wine the night before. At least, I think I had finished it. I also noticed a make shift bed on the ground, but no one was here. Morrison was currently making use of the bed.

  Reece put aspirin in my hand, made me drink a full glass of water, and then gave me coffee. I didn’t want to eat anything and he didn’t push me. He grabbed his own cup of coffee and sat next to me on the couch.

  “Give me all the details. Things start to get hazy after the second bottle of wine. Did I drunk cry? Please tell me I didn’t drunk cry.” No one likes a drunk crier.

  Reece chuckled. “No, June, you didn’t drunk cry. There was some small drunk screaming, but not crying. You looked like you were having fun. I tried to get you to drink some water, but that is where the drunk screaming came in. You were not going to have any of it. Then you said, acting very sober I might add, that you loved me and that love propelled you to not throw up on me. So you grabbed a blanket and a pillow and headed into the bathroom.”

  “I actually used the word ‘propelled’?”

  Reece nodded his head. “Sure did. It was pretty impressive.”

  “So you were impressed and not running in the other direction? Because I could see you running. I am not a fun drunk.”

  “You’re a fun drunk. You are also a bit loud and demanding. But I do love you, June, and that means I love all the parts of you. Or at least I love most parts enough to deal with the others.”

  I threw my sunglasses at him. He laughed, and even though I felt like I had been scraped off the sidewalk, for the moment, everything was right in the world.

  “What’s up with the bed? I know it wasn’t made just for Morrison, even if he is one of the cutest dogs in the world.”

  “Umm …” Reece looked down at Morrison, obviously not wanting to answer the question.

  “Reece. Who slept in this bed?”

  Reece sighed. “Jolene and Caleb.”

  “What!”

  “I know, but they both couldn’t drive so I threw down some blankets, thinking they would each take a couch, but no. They didn’t. Then for some reason Hannah got really quiet and kind of mad. She left pretty quickly after that. Weird.”

  Oh Reece. He was blind when it came to the fact that Hannah had a crush on Caleb. Do I burst that bubble?

  Reece got up to grab more coffee. From the kitchen he said, “I’m glad Caleb came out last night, but I hope he knows what he is getting into with Jolene. And I should probably call Hannah and make sure she is okay. She
isn’t usually that down.”

  “You don’t see it, do you?”

  Reece sat back down on the couch, grabbing my legs and draping them over his lap. “See what?”

  “Hannah has a crush on Caleb and Caleb couldn’t keep the stars out of his eyes anytime he looked at Jolene.”

  Reece scoffed. “No. Hannah does not have a crush on Caleb. She is way too young. And Caleb and Jolene … not my place to make judgment. They are both adults and can do what they want, maybe Jo will be good for him.”

  Or ruin him even more. Jo was my best friend, but she wasn’t a flightily thing, she could be extremely real and honest and that had moments of pushing people away. I had also decided to let Reece live in his happy world where his younger sister didn’t have a crush on his best friend. That would, I was sure, come crashing down at one point.

  Reece and I fell into a routine. We both worked, and when we were home together we would cook, laugh, and make love. It was easy to be with him and easy to live together. It was a totally different experience than when I lived with Owen. Owen and I had a large adjustment period and that should have been a red flag, how difficult it was for us to live together. Hindsight was a beautiful thing.

  As October turned into November, the cold was becoming more common. I was saving money to move out, or so I was telling myself. I did like the company and I felt if I got my own place, Reece and I would still be spending our nights together. I had become addicted to his comfort and warmth during the night. I liked waking up next to him. I was an addict and I needed my Reece fix.

  I had received my check from my insurance and with that I bought essentials. The rest I put into savings; it was enough to maybe put a deposit on a place, but not enough to furnish it as well. I didn’t want to put myself into too much debt since I was about to leave my grace period for my student loans. All reasons I used to justify my lack of finding a place to live. I might have been living in the world of illusions.