A Fine Line

by Emma Leigh Reed

  Grace cried tears for her mother’s loss. How could he have done this to Mom? Was he being truthful and really married someone who bore another man’s child simply because his father insisted? Why had this man been such a coward?

  Grace tossed and turned the rest of the night. She only had more questions after she had finished reading the letters and needed answers. Her mother had never given any indication of a past love, and she knew from seeing her parents together that they had been very much in love.

  After a restless night, Grace woke, feeling like she had been hit by a truck. She stood in the shower with her eyes closed, water raining over her. Her mind raced of the possibilities of her mom’s life and this John’s, whoever he may be. The place to start was at the lawyer’s. Maybe he would know who John was. With a plan forming in her mind, she rushed through her shower and got dressed.

  Entering the kitchen, she breathed a sigh of relief that Xander was nowhere to be found. She doctored up her coffee and breathed in the aroma before taking that first sip. Eyes closed, she allowed the richness to wash over her and warm her from the inside out. She took a deep breath and set her cup aside, reaching for the pad of paper on the counter. A list was what she needed to figure this out. She always had been a list person, feeling it kept order to her life when she felt out of control. And a love affair that her mother had had before her father’s time, well, that definitely fell into the “out of control” column in Grace’s book.

  Chapter 19

  Grace walked into the house. Her mind still reeled from the information she had uncovered. There had to be only one explanation for this situation she was in with Xander. Abigail had been manipulated instead of her manipulating them. Xander and his father – John, former love of Abigail’s, had set this all up to get the McAllister estate. It was all so clear now.

  Holding back the anger, Grace made her way from room to room searching for Xander. She was ready for a fight and wanted to have it out right now. Not finding Xander on the first floor, Grace took the stairs two at a time to check out the bedroom area. It was empty also. She growled in frustration.

  Deciding there was further need now to check out the basement in more detail, Grace started for the cellar and where she had found the letters between Abigail and John. Arriving in the basement, she glanced around to the boxes where her mom’s stuff was packed away. She hadn’t gone through half of them, yet they had been strewn all over the place, with things knocked out of the boxes and scattered across the floor. She bent down to start picking them up to repack them.

  Why did Xander do this? What was he looking for? She paid no attention to what she picked up as her thoughts drifted to Xander and how much she had fallen for his charm. The disappointment in what she had hoped could have happened between them, the thought of an actual relationship, sliced through her. How could she had been so wrong about him?

  “Grace?” Xander’s voice brought her back to the present.

  “Downstairs.” She stood and waited for him to appear, her hands clenched at her side.

  * * *

  “What happened down here?” Xander glanced around, paying no attention to Grace. He bent down to pick up some papers near the stairway.

  “Don’t touch those.” The tone in Grace’s voice startled both of them. “Haven’t you done enough?”

  “What have I done?” Xander took a step back. He searched Grace’s face and saw only fury. Her stance was tense and she looked as if she wanted to plummet him. “Grace?”

  “Why? Why throw Mom’s stuff around like this? Have you no respect?” Tears started running down her cheeks. The sight of those tears was like a fist to Xander’s gut.

  “Grace, I didn’t do this.”

  “Am I supposed to believe that after….after all you and your father have done to manipulate this little set up? How much did it cost you, or Mom, for your father to get his way and go after my home?” Her voice raised an octave.

  “What are you talking about?” Xander took a step towards her. “What does my father have to do with this?”

  “You tell me!” Grace pushed past Xander and ran up the stairs.

  “Grace, wait!” Xander glanced back at the mess on the floor and then at the stairs. What the hell had happened this morning while she was gone for her to be in this rage? With a backward glance to the mess, he went after Grace.

  Xander found her in the living room, pacing. “Want to tell me what it is you are accusing me of?” Xander sat down on the couch.

  “Like you don’t know. Why? That’s all I want to know. Why did you do it?” Grace wiped the tears away. “You played me for a fool.”

  Xander sat forward. “What the hell are you talking about? Are you insane?”

  Grace stared at him. “Am I insane? Am I insane?”

  “That was the question.” Xander stood and walked slowly towards her. “What’s going on, Gracie?”

  “Don’t…don’t call me that.” She turned and faced the fireplace, taking a deep breath.

  Xander wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against his chest. He whispered, “Talk to me.”

  “It was your father.” Grace sobbed, the dam bursting in her.

  “My father what?” Xander held her close.

  “That was Abigail’s love…those letters were from him.”

  Xander’s arms around her tightened. “What letters?” He turned Grace to face him. “My father and your mother…”

  “You didn’t know?” The question of what was the truth hung in the air between them.

  Xander shook his head no. “You’ve got to believe me, Gracie. I didn’t know.”

  Grace shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe.” She pushed against his chest to move out of his arms.

  Xander ran his fingers through his hair. “You know I haven’t been around here.”

  “Yet you had contact with Mom. What am I supposed to believe?” Grace sank onto the couch cushion. “Why seek me out at her funeral? Why?”

  “I promised Abigail I would check on you…and then I spent time with you and well, I enjoyed your company. Is that so hard to believe?”

  Grace closed her eyes, not even opening them when Xander sat down next to her and took her hands in his. “Grace, you are a wonderful person…beautiful, funny, a joy to be around. You make me relax and want to just celebrate life. I haven’t felt that way in a long time.”

  “This can’t happen.” Grace pulled her hands away from Xander’s. “There is too much at stake here and if you think for one second I’m walking away from Mom’s…my home, you’re wrong.”

  “God, Grace, I would give it all up in a heartbeat if it would just go to you. The only reason I’m here in this house with you is because of the stipulation that you would lose everything. Well, that and I want to be close to you.”

  “Why? Why do you need to be here—beyond the stipulation?”

  “Stop overthinking it.” Xander stood and started for the door. “Take some time…we’ll talk later.”

  Grace raised her hand to stop the words, but she knew he was right. It was a conversation that they had to have and one she dreaded at the same time.

  * * *

  Xander sat on his motorcycle, staring at the house. Why did she push him away at every turn? Why did it hurt so much to think she didn’t want him? He was the one that could take or leave any woman that was in his path. He prided himself on the fact that he never got involved with any one woman, but loved his bachelor life…yet, Grace had worked herself into his heart and he couldn’t deny that he, for the first time ever, wanted to settle down and see what could become of a life with her.

  With a sigh he started the bike, and turned towards his parents’ house. Funny, he never considered it his home. It hadn’t been since he had been sent away. It was time for answers and apparently his father had more answers that Xander could have ever imagined.

  Chapter 20

  Xander took a deep breath as he approached the front door. He paused before kn
ocking, trying to put his mind in order. The door swung open by Gerard.

  “Mister Sebastian? I thought I heard your bike. You’re here to see your father?”

  “Yeah, Gerry. Is he around?”

  Xander smirked as Gerard shuddered, giving Xander a withering look. “In the study, sir.”

  “Thanks.” Xander started down the hall, steps slowing as he came closer to the study. He knocked softly on the door and waited for his father’s usual, “Enter”.

  Xander walked in, partially shutting the door behind him. He approached his father’s desk, taking in the law books on shelves behind it, the dark wood making the room gloomy.

  “Sebastian, I wasn’t expecting you.”

  Xander nodded and sat down. “Funny, I wasn’t expecting to be here, but then I’ve been hearing some things and I want to know the truth. Think you can be honest for a few minutes?”

  John sat back in his chair. He gestured for Xander to continue.

  “When did you have a fling with Abigail McAllister?”

  “What?”

  “Honesty for a change, Dad.”

  Xander watched his father’s expression and the softness come to his features that Xander had never seen before. A smile lit up his face and his eyes gleamed. “Well, Sebastian, I guess it’s time you knew.”

  John stood up and came around the desk to sit in the chair next to Xander. “Abigail was the love of my life. Grace looks a lot like her when Abigail was her age. Sometimes it’s hard to see Grace around town, she looks so much like her.” His voice was soft as he drifted off into his memories.

  “When?”

  “Years ago, before your mother and I married.”

  “What happened?” Xander sat back and waited.

  “Your grandfather, well, he didn’t feel she was the right class for me.” John chuckled. “You know, she could light up a room when she walked in. She was always smiling, laughing at something. She was so beautiful, so full of life.”

  “I’ve never seen you filled with so much joy, Dad.”

  “Xander…” John smiled. “She was so angry at me for calling you Sebastian after you changed it to Xander, did you know that?”

  “You still had contact with her? I thought there was a feud?”

  John stood. “Let’s get a drink.”

  They walked in silence to the kitchen where John poured himself two fingers of scotch and handed Xander a beer. “It wasn’t really a feud. There was a social class difference. It was all very stupid and well, at the time I didn’t have the backbone to stand up to my father. Not like you.”

  “Me? I haven’t really ever stood up to you.”

  John nodded. “You have, subtly. You left and didn’t come back. In a way, you were saying you had enough. And I get it, I do. I was hurt, but I also could see I was acting so much like my father and it pissed me off. But still, I didn’t change.”

  “Tell me about you and Abigail.” Xander sat on bar stool.

  “I loved her. She was the greatest love of my life. I learned to love your mother, but it wasn’t a heart racing love. Abigail was the only one I ever had that with. I allowed your mother to dupe me into a marriage that I knew I shouldn’t have said I would do, but it was to keep the peace with my father. Well, and to keep my inheritance. Yes, I allowed money to make my decision.” John finished his Scotch and poured another.

  “I was a coward for ending it by letter. Abigail knew about Elizabeth being pregnant and she knew I was being forced into the marriage, but she just let me go. I don’t know if I expected her to fight for me, and for a while I was ticked that she never did, but in the end I knew it was because she loved me that she let me go. She didn’t want to come between me and my family.”

  “Where you cheating on Abigail with Mother when she got pregnant?”

  John shook his head. “Dale wasn’t my child. I couldn’t stand to have him in this house. He was a constant reminder of what I had to give up.”

  Xander drained his beer and set the bottle down. He wasn’t surprised by the news, yet it still seemed to catch him off guard. His brother was only a half-brother. “Is that why I was sent away too?”

  “Elizabeth said if Dale couldn’t be here, you couldn’t either. I’m sorry, Xander. I should have stuck up for you.”

  Xander stood. “We’ll talk later. I need to just process all this.”

  “Wait. How did you find out about Abigail?”

  “Grace found your letters to her.”

  John stared at his empty glass. “She kept them all these years.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “God, Abigail, I’m so sorry.”

  Xander left his father to his grief. So many questions, yet a lot had been answered about his childhood. Things he never even really questioned suddenly became so clear.

  He left his parents’ home and headed to the McAllister barn. He didn’t want to see Grace right now. He needed to wrap his mind around his father actually being in love. He never felt any love growing up between his parents, but never questioned it, since his grandparents’ household was the same way. The hay loft had become his go-to place to think, albeit he usually spent his time there thinking of Grace. Today, she was on his mind, but second to the realization of how dysfunctional his family really had been.

  Chapter 21

  Grace sat on the couch until she could no longer hear Xander’s motorcycle. In her mind, she knew by his reaction that he had no idea of the relationship between Abigail and John. But she wasn’t ready to be logical quite yet. She wanted answers, and they eluded her at every turn. Bob had told her she should let it go and just concentrate on the business at hand. She had stormed out of his office and was hell bent on having it out with Xander. Well, she had it out with him…but he hadn’t fought back.

  He had accused her of being insane. Maybe she was. This whole business was maddening. The mess in the basement didn’t just happen. She sighed. The mess in the basement, yes, she should get that straightened out and see what else was down there.

  She spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up and repacking her mom’s belongings. There was nothing else unusual down there and Grace wasted no time going through everything. Once it was straightened out, she vowed she wouldn’t be back down to look again as she headed up the stairs.

  Her stomach growled. A reminder that she hadn’t eaten anything all day, with the exception of the cup of coffee first thing that morning. She went to the kitchen and stared out the window at the barn. Their business. They had to get it started, Bob reminded her this morning, or it would void the will, leaving her and Xander losing everything. Obstacles in her life at every turn. Could she not just live her life without having to please everyone else first? She was so tired of not doing what she wanted. She wanted the freedom to get on a motorcycle and just take off – like Xander. Yet, he was here with her willing to work at whatever they needed to do to get the inheritance. Would he leave her then?

  Her daydreams were interrupted with the slam of the door. She asked, “Hungry?”

  She turned to see Xander leaning against the kitchen door. “A little. You?”

  “Starved. What do you feel like?” She wanted to apologize to Xander, yet she said nothing at first, then offered, “Let’s go out for a pizza.”

  Xander nodded. “Give me just a few minutes to clean up. I smell like a barn.”

  Grace smiled as he left the room. She thought back to those kisses they shared in the hayloft. How far would it have gone had she not put the brakes on? Why was she always the practical one? She just wanted to let her hair down for once and not think of responsibility.

  Grace raced upstairs with a last minute decision to put some make up on and redo her hair. She had just put on the finishing touches when a soft tap came on her door.

  “It’s open.” She called.

  Xander opened the door and smiled. “You’re beautiful.”

  Grace stepped to him and smoothed his blue polo shirt. “You clean up pretty nice yourself.”

  Xand
er’s hands rested on her hips. He gently kissed her lips. “You ready?”

  Graced nodded. They rode to town in Grace’s car in silence, a comfortable silence that encouraged Grace that this evening could be turned around.

  They found a quiet booth in the back of the local pizza restaurant. After agreeing on a pizza and ordering, they sipped their drinks and made small talk.

  “Look, Xander, I’m sorry for earlier.” Grace played with the salt and pepper shakers.

  “It’s okay. I get where you were coming from, although you were a little crazy about it.” He grinned at her.

  Grace melted as she stared into his brown eyes. “Crazy? Really?” She shook her head.

  Xander reached for her hand. “I went and talked to my dad after I left. I think he was a bit relieved that someone actually finally knew about it. He truly did love her. Abigail was the one great love of his life.”

  “But he broke it off with her?”

  Xander nodded. “Yes, because he was a coward and had no backbone to stand up to my grandfather. I don’t know if they had much contact after their marriages, but I would like to think that maybe living so close to each other that hopefully Dad was watching out for her.”

  “Did he give you any details?”

  “No, not really. Let’s not think about it now. Let’s work on us…what we need to do to get through the next two years and then we can have our lives back.”

  Grace felt like she had been slapped. Xander wanted out. “Of course.” She picked up her drink and took a sip.

  The rest of the meal was stilted, with the only talk focusing on the horses they would be receiving to open their therapeutic riding business. Grace felt heavy hearted as they headed for home. She had hoped that Xander had wanted to see where things were going to go, yet he made it clear he wanted to move on with his life…without her.