Trap Goddess

by Sasha Ravae

  “You can go ahead and let that pussy dry up if you want to, or you can live your life. I’m not telling you to go jump in the bed with Los, but I mean they already got you working as a secretary or some shit. Now they get to control who you can be with?”

  “It’s a respect thing…”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, let me get things situated over here. I’ll probably be out there tomorrow afternoon. Do everything I would do,” Yari said hanging up the phone hoping to encourage her friend. It had been three months, and Trina hadn’t even had the desire to look at another man let alone give her body away, but Los was different. He would always be different. Trina loved him before she even knew what love was, and without Jonah or Ron around to look out for her, he was the only person left in the world who made her feel safe, and she wanted to become lost in the feeling again.

  As she walked back up to the table, Los was sitting back texting on his iPhone. “Damn, I thought you dipped. I was just about to call you.”

  “My bad that was Yari. Her and Malachi are on their way out here.”

  “For what?” he asked finally looking up.

  “Long story,” she said sitting back down as she draped the giant, white napkin across her lap, “but they won’t be here til tomorrow.”

  “So that means that we still have tonight then, right?” he asked as a small smile spread across his face.

  “What’s that look for?”

  “What look? We can get all this to go. I ordered some banana pudding cheesecake, blood. I knew I had to get us some when I saw it on the menu. I’m bout to roll one later and have the munchies like a mufucka.”

  “You remembered I love banana pudding?”

  “Trina, you were a big part of my life. I wish you would remember that.”

  After paying the bill, Los grabbed their giant bag of leftovers with one hand and Trina’s hand with the other as they walked back inside the hotel. People filled the shops and other restaurants, but they remained silent in the midst of all the chaos of the night that surrounded them. Trina enjoyed just being with Los at that moment and nothing proved to be a distraction, but soon the walk back to the room seemed like an eternity. She knew she wasn’t ready to give herself to him. She couldn’t get Jonah’s touch, Jonah’s kiss, Jonah’s smell off of her skin and to have someone love her in the same way seemed like blasphemy. As they slowly approached the room, Trina stopped dead in her tracks immediately letting go of his hand.

  “What, what’s wrong?” Los asked turning around.

  “I’m not having sex with you. If that’s what you came all the way out here for then you can politely take your ass right back.”

  “Would you chill? I didn’t pay $600 for a plane ticket on the off chance that I might get some pussy. Look at me, baby, I don’t gotta do all that,” he said stroking the short beard that covered his smooth, butterscotch-colored skin.

  “As long as we’re on the same page, we’re good.”

  “We’re definitely good. Now can you open the door please? You got me out here looking like a trick.”

  Trina pulled the keycard from out of her wallet and slid it through the golden, metal slot. When the small green light flashed, and the lock clicked, she slowly opened the door. There was no turning back.

  “Where the bathroom?” Los asked placing the food in the kitchenette area admiring the enormous suite.

  “Around there,” she said pointing past the bedroom. I can do this. I can do this. She let out a deep breath before she climbed into the bed. As she sat on the edge, she undid the straps around her calves, and after a few minutes, Los walked out of the bathroom with a blunt hanging from his mouth.

  “Yo, this room is plush as fuck. Let me find out you out here hoeing,” he said cutting his eyes at Trina as he continued to moisten the stale brown wrapper.

  “What?” she screamed kicking her shoes off, “Your mouth is gonna get you popped keep fucking with me.”

  “It was just a simple question.”

  “So you’re saying the only way I could be in a room like this is if I’m selling my pussy?”

  “Don’t act like it doesn’t happen all the time. Plus you been on some 007 shit, so you tell me.”

  “I don’t have to do that, Los. I have more than enough money. If you must know, again, I’m out here on business. I help manage the books for a few of Jonah’s companies, and one of them happens to be in Miami. I thought I was gonna be working throughout the weekend, but my meetings ended early. The owner wanted to say thank you, so he set me up with this room,” she said pulling out the card from the fruit Franco sent earlier that day, “See.”

  “Enjoy your time in Miami,” Los said reading it aloud, “Was that so hard?”

  “Yeah, cause you’re an asshole,” she said sitting back down scooting until her back was directly against the headboard.

  “I’m sorry,” he said laying across the end of the bed, “So you’re like a consultant or something?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. They call me when they need me.”

  “That’s what’s up. I’m proud of your big head. You have always been an amazing woman, but now I have no choice but to see it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Can I lay down or are you gonna think I’m tryna hit?”

  “We’re two adults, Los. Of course you can lay down. I’ll stay on my side, and you stay on yours.”

  “Deal, blood. That flight got me so jetlagged.” He hopped off the bed and slipped off the black and gray Jordan’s he wore and placed his ten carat diamond necklace on the dresser. After making himself feel more than at home, he finally climbed in, and she could feel the heat from his body even though they never touched. Trina laid down on her back and stared up at the ceiling, and Los couldn’t help but to laugh.

  “What?” she asked turning over.

  “I’m just hella weak. This is just like the first time I spent the night at your parents’ house. You were scared about me touching you, me talking too loud, so all you did was lay there hella awkward.”

  “Shut up. My dad hated you, so yeah, I was scared. You should have been too.”

  “Nobody was worried about your old-ass daddy. All I had to do was wrap my arms around your waist,” he said turning her back around until his breath caressed her neck, “And you finally relaxed and fell asleep.”

  “Los, what are you doing?” she asked looking over her shoulder.

  “Shhhh,” he said closing his eyes.

  The room fell silent, and Trina stared out into darkness trying to resist the urge to melt into him. His strong embrace made her feel so secure, but that was something Los was always able to do. Her body screamed out for his touch, but she couldn’t give in. Jonah still had her heart. In the quietness of the night, it didn’t take long before Los drifted off to sleep, and soon the rhythmic flow of his breath carried her off to the dream that had finally become reality again.

  . . .

  The next morning, Trina woke up with the sun shining in her face. She rolled over to Los’ side, but he wasn’t there. She sat up and saw that his chains, shoes, and clothes weren’t there either. She bent down over the side of the bed and pulled out her phone, but before she could dial his number, she heard the door unlock.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said walking in with bags in his hand, “I took your key card.”

  “Where you been? I thought you left.”

  “I thought we were kicking it? Why would I leave?” he asked closing the door behind him, “Unfortunately, I found out that you still snore, and being that a nigga can’t sleep with an engine roaring next to his ear, I thought I should be productive.”

  “Thank you,” Trina said feeling silly as he handed her a small orange juice.

  “I swear you always think the worse in a nigga.”

  “It’s not that…”

  “Squash it, okay? It’s good. You not trusting me is not your fault; it’s mine. I gave you more than enough reason not to, but I’m saying that was like t
en years ago.”

  “I know, and I feel stupid even still feeling like this, but when I saw you, everything just came flooding back.”

  “I know that it’s gonna take time, but Trina, I still love you, and I want you to see that I have changed for the better. I want us to be us again, but I know I can’t rush you. I’m willing to put the work into getting us back right, but I need you to let me.”

  She stared up at Los and became lost in his eyes. She had been waiting a lifetime to finally hear those words from him, but she never thought she would. As much as she wanted to run to him, she couldn’t. To everyone else, she was still Jonah’s girl, and that was sacred.

  “Los, I…”

  “Shhhh,” he said handing her a white Styrofoam box filled with cheese eggs, grits, bacon, and toast with grape jelly, “I don’t want you to say anything. I know you got your situation and what not, and believe me, baby, I’m not trying to add to your stress, but the gods meant for this to happen, and I’m not gonna argue. I’m just gon’ go with the flow.”

  “And how do you plan on doing that?” she asked taking a bite of eggs.

  “I told Yari and Malachi to not come out here.”

  “What? Why did you do that?”

  “Cause it makes no sense for them to fly out here, and then we all have to get back to Sac in a day or two.”

  “But I needed Yari…”

  “Look, I have everything under control.”

  “I have to switch my flight…”

  “Trina, I took care of it, okay? I booked my flight and had them change the date on yours, and I called Malachi, and him and Yari are gonna pick us up from the airport. Problem solved,” Los said proud of himself.

  “Except one thing.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “You didn’t consult me on any of this.”

  “Trina, sit back and eat. You know Daddy got this,” he said smiling, “Our flight leaves at 10 a.m.”

  “That’s like in two hours.”

  “Well, I guess we gotta go then.”

  . . .

  Almost half a day later, Trina and Los walked out of the Sacramento airport hand-in-hand. They spent the entire flight talking about their past, present, and future together. Trina felt like she had her friend back and was excited about what was to come, but she still wasn’t ready to cross that line just yet. Los assured her that he understood and never had intentions on pressuring her into anything she didn’t want to do. He just wanted to be near her again, and he was willing to wait as long as she needed him to.

  “You called them?” she asked setting her bags down on a metal bench.

  “Naw, I texted him before we landed though. He said they were already on the way.”

  A few minutes later, Malachi and Yari pulled up in his Dodge Challenger.

  “My bad, blood, I was parked literally right here, but this parking enforcer broad was on a nigga’s nuts. I’ve been circling around for like thirty minutes wasting hella gas.”

  “Babe, it does say ‘No Parking’ though. What you expect?” Yari laughed.

  “It’s good, G, pop the trunk,” he said grabbing Trina’s luggage as she got into the car.

  “Welcome back,” Yari sang.

  “I’ve only been gone for like two days.”

  “Two days too long,” Malachi said looking into the review mirror, “I swear if I hear the word ‘Miami’ one more time, I’ma lose it. This girl was going crazy.”

  “Who wants to stay in boring-ass Sac?”

  “I do,” Trina quickly said, “I’m glad to be back home.”

  “I know you are. You all glowing and shit. Was it good?” Yari whispered.

  “Shut up,” she said blushing a little, “Nothing happened. It’s just a tan.”

  “Tan? How’d you get a tan when you didn’t even do anything?” Yari asked rolling her eyes, “What ya’ll do last night though?”

  “Not a mothafucking thing,” Los said getting into the back, “So what is up for today?”

  “We can go back to my house and maybe throw something on the grill,” Trina offered.

  “That sounds like the move,” Yari said, “We can get a few bottles and just relax.”

  “We need to go to the store?” Malachi asked.

  “Naw, I think I have everything at the house. We should be good.”

  “Cool.”

  Thirty minutes later, he pulled up in front of Trina’s driveway.

  “Thank you so much for picking us up,” she said, “I was ready to call a car service.”

  “None needed. A friend of my boy is always a friend of mine. This nigga is like my brother.”

  “I guess we’re just one big happy family now,” Yari said opening her arms wide, “Group hug.”

  “Yari, it’s not like that. Stop it,” she whispered as she walked into the house. Malachi and Los just laughed.

  “Damn, Trina, I didn’t know you were living like this,” Los said walking inside admiring the home’s details.

  “I told you a lot has changed,” she said taking her bags from him, “You guys make yourselves at home. There’s plenty of stuff in the fridge.”

  “You need me to do anything?” he asked.

  “Can you pull some stuff out that we can put on the grill? I should have some steaks and chicken in there.”

  “Alright,” he said walking into the kitchen.

  Trina ran up the stairs to her bedroom and quickly closed the door behind her. She knew she only had one call to make, and with her and Yari’s fake Miami vacation cancelled, she had to check in.

  “What’s up?”

  “What’s up with you? I’ve been tryna get in contact with you since yesterday.”

  “I know, my phone was tripping. I was barely getting any reception in the room, but it’s good. I’m home now.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, with business being wrapped up so soon, I just thought it made more sense for me to come home like you instead of Yari coming all the way out to Miami for a day or two.”

  “I feel it. Ay, you tryna go out tonight? Dre is having a launch party for one of the kings.”

  “I would, Omari, but I’m so tired. I think I’ma just use tonight to rest cause it’s back to money in the morning.”

  “Yeah, well, if you change your mind, we’ll be up there. You heard from Yari?”

  “No, why?” Trina lied.

  “I’ve been calling her phone, but she hasn’t been answering either.”

  “I’ll tell her to call you if I talk to her.”

  “One.”

  Trina sighed out a breath of relief once she hung up with Omari. She didn’t know where she and Los stood, but she couldn’t take the chance on him and Omari ever crossing paths. She didn’t know how her old life would respond to her new one.

  When she walked down the stairs into the kitchen, she saw Los hovering over the stove with a myriad of different seasonings and spices spread across the counter.

  “What’s going on in here?” she asked seeing Yari and Malachi already setting up outside.

  “You know I still got them skills in the kitchen,” he said as he continued to put together his spice rub.

  “Well, what do you need me to do?”

  “Can you still make your mama’s potato salad?”

  “Is that a trick question?” she asked laughing, “Of course I can still make my mama’s potato salad.”

  “Get on that then?”

  Trina walked over to the cabinet and pulled down a five pound bag of russet potatoes.

  “So what’s up with your mom anyway? I haven’t seen her in forever.”

  Trina quickly bent down pulling out a giant glass bowl from the bottom cabinet hoping to avoid the question for as long as she could.

  “Ummmm, I don’t really know. I haven’t talked to them for like five years.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah,” she said trying to stay busy. She buried herself in the fridge looking for mayonnaise, onion
s, garlic, relish, eggs, and mustard.

  “What happened? Ya’ll were always so close especially you and your mom.”

  “They didn’t like how I left home.”

  “What you mean?”

  “When I was 22, I met Yari, and at the time, she was stripping at this club called Wet. Long story short, I started dancing there too. When they found out, obviously, they weren’t okay with it, so they told me I had to stop and go back to school, or get out. I was making so much money then, so I was like fuck school, and I haven’t spoken to them since.”

  “Yeah, I heard about that shit a while back, but I swear I didn’t believe it. I was like, ‘My Trina? Trina Mitchell? Naw, never that’ just cause you were never that type of female, feel me? But I can see why you did it. I mean look at you.”

  “I did it for you,” she said finally stopping, “Well, maybe not for you but because of you. When you left, I honestly thought that I would never see you again, but when I did, it wasn’t because of me. It was because of that bitch, and that got me thinking. You always had this type, and even though I couldn’t put it into words, it somehow translated into me getting my hair dyed every six to eight weeks, working out non-stop, buying this bag or these shoes, and for the first time, I now realize that I don’t where the old me begins or the new me ends. You made me like this, but please don’t take it as a compliment,” she said walking outside not ready to hear his response.

  “Is the food ready yet?” Yari asked with a red cup in her hand.

  “Girl, you know Los hasn’t even started cooking, but I just put some potatoes on for some potato salad.”

  “Well, have a drink in the meantime. You have your stressed face on. You know when your forehead wrinkles up?” she asked scrunching up her face.

  “Shut up,” she said snatching the Ciroc bottle Yari held in her hand, “Today’s supposed to be fun. No stress.”

  “We’ll see.”

  A few hours and a few bottles later, Trina, Los, Yari, and Malachi all laid out on pool chairs as they each looked up at the night’s sky. The weed that was in rotation had them feeling transcendent.