“I’m s-”
“Don’t. Please don’t ruin this moment. Let’s just move past it.” I rolled to my side taking his face in my hands. “I love you Gray Weston.” I kissed his dry lips wetting them with mine.
His muscled arm pulled me onto his chest and he slowly started playing with my hair. “I love you, Bennett Reynolds.”
My eyes became heavy a few minutes later. I felt Gray pull the blanket up around our exposed bodies, just as I started drifting off to sleep.
Twenty-Five
My hand slid across the soft sheets trying to find him. I rubbed my eyes open, searching my room for him but he was nowhere to be found. I began to wonder if I had dreamt it all, when I caught a whiff of bacon coming from the kitchen. I slid out of bed pulling on his T-shirt and heading in the direction of the delicious smell. His bare back was to me when I entered. I licked my lips in appreciation of his sculpted body, knowing it was mine. He must not have heard me come in because when I ran my finger across his shoulder blades, he jumped.
“Good morning beautiful.” He turned his face into mine and planted a kiss on my lips.
“Morning.”
I got myself a cup of coffee while Gray finished cooking breakfast. I sat at the table in amazement. It was hard to believe that after all we had been through, that we somehow found our way back to one another. I had missed him terribly during our time apart, both times. I stared at Gray over my cup of coffee with visions of last night’s encounter running through my mind. I could feel the heat between my legs with every passing image. When he turned around to smile at me, a blush swept across my cheeks.
“What are you thinking about over there?” He winked before turning to finish making our plates.
“Nothing to concern yourself with right now.” I smiled.
He brought over our plates of food and I dug right in. I was famished; I had barely eaten anything since I kicked him out of my house a month ago. We shared silent stares while we ate, I was finding hard to remove my eyes from his face. I was afraid if I looked away, even for a minute, he would disappear. After I cleared our plates, we snuggled up on the couch and didn’t move all day.
I was happy to have my Gray back, and even happier that he wanted to be back. I dozed off just as the sun began to set through the living room windows. I woke to Gray shaking me. I didn’t know what was going on. I jumped up off the couch and searched his face for an explanation.
“Button, are you okay?” His face was pulled tight with concern.
“I’m fine, why?”
“You were screaming. Scared the ever living’ shit out of me.” He pushed his hands through his hair before pulling me back onto his lap.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I don’t even know why.”
I rest my head back against the couch wondering what I could have been dreaming about. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open and Gray tucked me under his chin as I dozed off again.
I woke up in bed just as the sun was coming up over the trees outside. I looked over at a sleeping Gray by my side, smiling. I never wanted him to leave. I traced the frown lines between his eyebrows until he started to stir. When he opened his eyes, I softly pressed my lips to his.
“Morning sunshine.”
“How long have you been awake?” He asked.
“Not long.” I answered. “Gray?”
“Yes, button?” He replied with a yawn.
“Why didn’t you tell me you bought your parent’s house?” I didn’t want to ask, but I couldn’t help myself.
“I don’t know it didn’t seem important.”
“Oh.” Was all I could manage to say.
“Button, I need to run home for a bit. I have some things that need to be tied up at home and I need to grab some clean clothes. Are you going to be okay if I leave?” The fear in his voice was inconceivable.
I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to suffocate him. “Yeah, I have some things to do as well. Will you come back over tonight?” I was worried he already needed some time apart.
His fingers pushed back the stray hairs in my face, “Of course I will. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” He smirked.
He kissed me deeply, leaving me breathless before he got up and got dressed. I watched as he pulled his T-shirt on over his head. His stretched muscles had my mouth watering. He kissed me good-bye, promising to be back later tonight. I sighed as I watched him leave the confines of my room.
I finally dragged my sorry ass out of bed a couple hours later. I really had nothing to do, but I didn’t want to seem needy when he was leaving. I busied myself with mindless chores, even cleaning out my closet. A feat for me, considering it was a rare occurrence. I took a quick shower and threw on some jeans and a hoodie. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and went to watch some television. After clicking through every available channel, I came up empty. I was officially bored.
I checked my phone, not expecting him to call, but just in case he had decided to. I slumped back on the couch cushions, just as the doorbell rang. I clambered off the couch, wondering who could possibly be coming by. When I checked the peephole it was black. At the time I thought nothing of it, but I should have listened to my gut telling me to not open it.
When I pulled open the door, he stood there with a smirk on his face. It took everything in me not to smack him, right where he stood.
“Raylon, why are you here?” I was afraid to know the answer. No, I was just afraid of him, period.
“I thought I would come by and see how you were.”
“Because you are all of sudden concerned for my well being?” The words came out before I could stop them. I didn’t want to piss him off; nothing good would come of it.
“Despite what you believe, yes.” His face looked pained and part of me, not the rational part, wanted to know why.
“You need to leave, Gray will be back anytime now.” I lied.
“I don’t think he will, Baby. He got a call from work.” A dangerous smile played at his lips.
“What did you do, Raylon?” I tried to keep the fear out of my voice.
“I didn’t do anything, Baby. I told you he got a call.”
I needed to get away from him, without pissing him off! I slowly started closing the door, “Good-bye Raylon.” Just as the door was ready to close, his foot shot between the opening.
“I don’t think so.” I knew the look on his face all too well, and I dreaded what would happen next.
Even though everything in me was screaming to run, I sat with the door ajar, patiently awaiting his next move. “What do you want Raylon?”
Me!
“I think you know what I want Bennett.” He forced the door slightly and it propelled me back. I turned and ran full speed into the kitchen, looking for some sort of protection. I slid into the counter, wincing at the pain that shot through my hip, after it collided with the corner of it. Remembering my phone was still in the living room, I frantically dug through the drawer for a knife. As I turned my head I felt his cold clammy hands shove me hard. My head smacked into the cupboard above the sink with blunt force.
My feeble body sunk to the floor, just as my vision became hazy. As I tried to pull myself in a standing position, I caught my hand on a glass of water on the counter. The glass went crashing to the ground, sending shards of glass across the tile floor. I felt another hit to my head and everything started to fade black. I could hear the water from the broken glass dripping on the floor. Everything was instantly in slow motion. My feet slid out from under me when it came in contact with the trickling water.
I felt a tug as his large hand wrapped my ponytail around it. He tugged hard, and it felt as though my hair was being pulled from my scalp. I reached back to try to pull my hair free, but it was no use. I flipped my body around as he began dragging me by the hair down the hall. I scratched and pulled until the pain became unbearable.
I finally gave in.
When he pulled my body over t
he threshold of my room, he slammed the door shut with his foot. His strong arms threw me like a rag doll onto my bed. I scrambled up leaning into the headboard wondering how I could escape. I looked at the window and he just shook his head. Warm tears started streaming down my face, as the reality of the situation sank in. I wasn’t getting out of here, at least not alive.
He was rummaging through my drawers in search of something, but my eyes never left his form to find out what.
“If there’s one thing you should have learned, it should have been that you couldn’t leave me that easily. I don’t give up what’s mine.” My stomach churned with his words. I couldn’t swallow back the bile rising in my throat. “If I can’t have you, neither can he. It’s as simple as that really.”
I flinched, when I saw the shiny metal blades of the scissors in his hands. Trying to catch my breath, images of my scars on my breast flashed through my mind. I had nothing to defend myself with and no one was home. Panic and adrenaline surged through me as my survival instincts took over. I lunged at his large body, scratching his face and punching at his chest. He caught my hands with ease, tossing me back onto my bed. He straddled my chest, pinning my arms down with his legs.
My eyes went as wide as saucers, as I saw the scissors near my sweatshirt. With one swift motion my hoodie laid wide-open, bare breasts exposed. My pants were next and I was thankful that I had remembered to put underwear on this morning. He shred my pants up both pant legs and yanked them out from underneath me. I clutched at the cut hoodie, but it didn’t stop him. He yanked that off as well, throwing it to the side of my bed.
I closed my eyes not wanting to see the lust in his eyes. I refused to give him the satisfaction of a fight. I felt the smooth metal against the inside of my thigh as he slid them up my panties, shredding them as well. I squeezed my eyes tight and tried to go to a different place.
Gray’s face appeared before me, looking sad. His fingers ran across my lips and then pressed his into mine. My creased brow relaxed and I felt at ease. He was here and Raylon couldn’t hurt me. My eyes shot open in pain seconds later, and I realized it was all a dream. Gray wasn’t here and Raylon was. The metal sliced through my skin on my thighs like butter. I could feel the warmth of my blood, pooling below me. I sucked in a breath, as is hand came up and sliced the other. I wanted to cry out in pain, but I knew it would only fuel his raging fire. So, I lay there, lifeless, waiting for it all to end.
Twenty-Six
As the blade slid across my belly, I cried out in pain. I let out a loud sob as his fist cocked back, aiming for my face. I instinctively threw my hands up for protection, praying for this nightmare to end. One long excruciating minute later, I felt the cracking of my jaw as his fist collided with the bone. The force of the blow knocked my head to the side, sending everything into a blur.
His fists connected with my body a few more times, before going back to the scissors on the bed. My body went numb and my mind pushed itself to a far off place. I could feel the pressure of the scissors cutting into my now blood stained skin, but I was paralyzed. When he stopped and threw the scissors to the ground, I thought maybe he would leave.
I made sure to lie still, although I’m not too sure I could have moved anyway. I felt the mattress give as the weight of his body lifted off of me. I heard the door crack open and I prayed that he was gone. I tried to turn my head but the force of his punches rendered it impossible. I slid my fingers against the sheets, before pulling them back alarmed. I lifted my hand and saw the amount of blood that had latched on to my skin.
I ran my fingers across the top of my belly, trying to assess the damage. When my finger dipped into the gash, a new round of tears began to flow. This is how I was going to die! Before the thought could sink in, he was back! His body trapped mine against the bed as his fingers laced around my neck.
I could smell the booze emanating through every one of his pores. The faint smell of cigarettes lingered on his clothing, and I wondered when he had picked up that habit. I lay limp underneath his weight and prayed for it to be over. I didn’t have the strength in me to fight back anymore. This was it for me. I whispered my silent good-byes to Gray, as the darkness creped into my vision. No one was coming to save me. There was no white knight riding in on a horse, and I had accepted that.
My eyes closed for the last time, as relief washed over me. I could breathe. I no longer needed to punish myself for all the wrong I had done. All I could hope is that Gray would know how much I loved him. I would have given him anything, even my life.
That’s the funny thing about life, it never turns out the way you think it will. We spend our existence believing in love and happiness, but reality is much more grim. We make decisions that hurt others then blame them when we can’t fix them. I had loved Gray with all of me, not just a part of me.
There are never enough hours in the day or months in the year to express how much love can affect you. Gray had been my world, my lifeline when all was dark and lonely. In the end it was his love that made my life worth living.
Epilogue
My only regret in this life was never being able to give Gray the family, and life that he deserved. But, I knew Gray, and he was resilient. Eventually, he would find it in him to move on, while keeping the memories that we shared in tack. Our once disastrous relationship had made it through so much loss, that this would soon find its rightful place, in the shadows. My only wish is that he knows the love I feel for him, and the baby I had taken away.
I could hear his voice. As I lay here dying, his voice is all I could hear, calling and comforting me. I wanted to reach for him. I needed to let him know that he was going to be okay.
I heard his angelic voice whisper, “Button, you are my world, my only reason for being. Please just hold on and don’t leave me.”
I smiled knowing I felt the same way. I tried to stay in that moment for as long as my restless, un-beating heart would allow. I whispered back, “I love you Gray,” knowing he couldn’t hear me anymore. But, the words still rang true.
“THEO, GO GET THE DOCTOR! I swear I heard her say something. Bennett, Baby, say it again.”
I could hear him as clear as day now. No! No, please don’t take him. He deserves to live. Tears were falling endlessly down my face, with no feeling.
“I love you Gray, please fight to stay alive. Fight Gray!”
“Bennett, open your eyes. Bennett I can hear you, please Baby, open your eyes.”
I tried to do as he said, but it wasn’t feasible. I tried with everything I had in my dying body. I needed to see him, if only for a second.
“That’s it Baby. Just relax and open them. Please Baby, I need you to look at me.” I could hear him choking on his tears. I pleaded with my body to reach out to comfort him. There was no reason for both of us to suffer.
I was astounded when I heard my own voice break through the still air.
“Gray, don’t cry.” My eyes fluttered open and I watched his blood shot eyes taking me in. My vision was hazy but I swear I saw a smile creep across his lips. He was a sight for sore eyes, literally and figuratively speaking. My heart skipped a beat looking at his gorgeous face coming towards me.
“I thought I had lost you forever.” His hands clutched my tender face, as his lips claimed mine. “I promise to never leave you again. I’m so sorry.” His lips were kissing every inch of my face. He pressed his forehead against mine, his callused hands still gripping my swollen face.
“I promise you the same, Gray.”
He kissed me swiftly, and then pulled away as the doctor entered the room.
“Well, good morning, Miss Reynolds. I’m Dr. Raind, thanks for finally joining us.” A smile stretched across his worried face. “How are you feeling? Any pain yet?” He continued to check the monitors above me as I cleared my throat to answer him.
“My cheeks and my stomach hurt pretty bad, and my throat.” I grabbed at my neck and flinched as my hands made contact with my sensitive skin.
Gray’s hands clasped around mine, “Baby, don’t touch.”
“Miss Reynolds, you have quite a few things going on. Let’s start with the most obvious. Your trachea was bruised inside, along with the outside. You have bruises and contusions covering your face, and deep lacerations across your belly and inner thighs. Your jaw was dislocated and we had to put it back in place, so you have some swelling around your mouth and jaw. Don’t worry, the swelling should subside in the next couple of weeks.”
He paused glancing at a smaller monitor to my right. “You’re very lucky that your friend over here,” he pointed to Hannah, “has the same blood type as you. You lost a lot of blood and we had to give you a blood transfusion. I hear it’s not your first? You’re healing beautifully though, so I wouldn’t worry too much. You were very lucky someone showed up when they did, young lady.”
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