Better to Eat You

by Savannah Skye

  “Yeah, but you can be fuckin’ reckless, especially where Brenna is concerned,” I shot back at him.

  Axe opened his mouth to retort, then made a face like got me there. “Okay, big bro. I promise. Super, extra careful.” He smiled and left the room.

  Once I was alone, the unsettled feeling in my gut grew. Pop’s voice echoed in my head.

  Justin called you out by name, Colt.

  Burying my feelings of unease, I pulled out my phone and checked my calendar.

  A smile spread across my face. Tomorrow was Mama Ange’s birthday. Maybe there was a way to ease Pop’s mind about one thing, and make Mama Ange’s day at the same time.

  Going into my recent calls, I hit Bella’s number, and drummed my fingers on the table.

  “Hey there,” she murmured.

  Just hearing her voice made me feel better. A spot of sunshine on a shitty day, and the fact that she sounded just as happy to hear from me was a bonus.

  “Hey there yourself, Rabbit. Got any plans tomorrow? There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  Bella

  “Oh, he was so cute, now look at him!” Lisa was laughing so hard people were turning around. “Like a giant thumb-man.”

  I pushed aside my persistent thoughts of Colt and grinned at my cousin.

  “Lisa, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your high school sweetheart always looked like a thumb.” I peered at the picture of a hammy football player on her phone. “He was your first?”

  “Oh, shut up, Bebe. We couldn’t all be on the other side of the Atlantic with sexy French lovers to punch our V-cards.”

  It hadn’t been as spectacular as it sounded, and I found myself wishing Colt had been my first. I swallowed hard as I thought of our phone conversation earlier that morning.

  He was bringing me to meet the family.

  If that wasn’t serious, I didn’t know what was.

  Lisa waved the waitress over. “Hey, good-looking, we want another round.”

  “I think you put the happy in happy hour.” The girl laughed. “You’re my favorite table.”

  “And you’re my favorite waitress!” Lisa cried out.

  “And you’re not even drunk.” I shook my head, munching on more chips, enjoying the salty crunch. “Tell me about your new job.”

  “Oh, girl. You’re so sweet. Okay, so it’s this new start-up helping the fashion industry go more eco-friendly. It’s basically getting paid to drink and hang out with up and coming designers. Then tweet about them. I love New York City.”

  “Damn, if the margaritas didn’t make my head spin, that would. You’re amazing,” I said, shaking my head in awe.

  “Stop.” Lisa flushed. Tonight she was wearing a metallic choker, an off the shoulder peasant top, and bright green pants. As bright as the look was, in El Azteca, she blended right in with the colorful decor. Smiling at me, Lisa leaned forward. “Can I just say, you’re looking sort of glowy today, my Parisian ballerina. Something’s up with you, huh?”

  I brushed her off, asking another question about her new job. For a while, it worked. But, like a bloodhound, Lisa had scented something, and wasn’t about to let it go.

  “Alright, alright. You’re stalling. What’s going on?” Lisa swayed in her seat suggestively. “Give Colt another lap dance?”

  My cheeks burned and I cleared my throat. “Kinda?” Lisa’s mouth dropped open. “Okay, yeah. I did. Last night.”

  “Woah, what? Last night… Opening night?” Lisa’s eyes were huge. “Tell me everything.”

  Leaning forward, I whispered the events of the evening to Lisa, who squealed more than once. When I got to the kinky stuff, she put her hands over her mouth, and I dropped my head.

  “Lisa, it’s not just the sex, which is fucking mind-blowing, don’t get me wrong. It’s… I think… I don’t know, I wanted to…” I kept stumbling over my words, embarrassed about my plan to make Colt fall in love with me.

  Especially since it had so epically backfired.

  Biting my lip, I blurted out, “I’m so confused. So, okay, tomorrow, get this. I’m going straight into the heart of the Capestranas. I’ll meet them all. His father, his grandmother. It’s her birthday.” I stared at my hands and twisted my fingers together. “I don’t know how to feel about Colt, but I think if he wasn’t a Capestrana, he could be…the one.”

  My breath caught. I hadn’t meant to say that.

  Peeking up at Lisa, I saw that she’d gone still, her face shadowed, and eyes full of conflict.

  Twisting my hair, I waited for the judgment I so rightfully deserved. How I was fucking up the revenge I so desperately wanted by falling for the enemy. How I was a sucker of the worst kind. A traitor and a fool.

  But Lisa’s eyes went bright and she reached across the table. “Bebe. Say his name again.”

  “C-Colt?” I asked, puzzled.

  “Oh, Bella.” Lisa took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. “You want my advice? Follow your heart.”

  I almost pulled away from her, I was so surprised.

  “But my heart is telling me two things, Lis. To avenge my family. That’s how I was raised. How we were raised.” I waved my free hand between us. “I’m failing the Ruffino name. What daughter of Emilio’s would let this stand? And what kind of sister would I be to do this to Justin?”

  Lisa gently pulled away from me. At first I thought it was the lighting, or the drinks, but I realized my cousin had gone paper-white.

  Her eyes darted around the restaurant. A feeling of unease prickled up my spine and I glanced around as well. Why did she look so fragile? So fearful?

  “What? Is something wrong?” A strange sensation lurched through me, like I’d stumbled to the edge of an abyss, and I was about to fall in.

  “Um.” Lisa cleared her throat, now looking distinctly ill. “I-I need to tell you something, Bella. Something I should’ve told you a long time ago.” She pulled her chair closer, her face a mask of misery. “Remember the last Christmas we all spent together? The one time you came to Staten Island for the holidays?”

  “How could I forget?” I studied her. “It’s one of my few holiday memories with family. I treasure it.”

  She flinched as though I’d stabbed her.

  “Oh, Bella, God forgive me. I knew I’d have to tell you this one day.” Her face became serious. “You hadn’t been home in a while, right? Justin was in his early teens.”

  I nodded, my heart hammering, as the abyss yawned before me.

  “Justin, he uh…” She swallowed. “He tried to molest Steffie that night.”

  Her mouth was moving, but my ears were humming so loud, I couldn’t hear the words.

  Justin. My brother had tried to molest my young cousin?

  “N-no. No, that can’t be right,” I murmured through numb lips.

  Now Lisa was shaking as she squeezed my icy hand in hers. “We were too afraid to tell your father. He wouldn’t have been happy, y’know? And the silence ate Daddy alive, he started using worse than ever. I’m not saying he didn’t make his own bed, but…” Her head bent as she trailed off.

  Blood pounding in my ears, it felt like the floor was moving under me, and I grabbed the table. Sweet little Steffie? She was probably ten at the time, with her pigtails and green eyes like mine?

  “Emilio never wanted to deal with Justin’s issues. But it was like the second Justin turned thirteen, he snapped. Your dad’s only response was, ‘just boys being boys’.” Her voice was bitter. “Me and Steffie avoided him after that. I think your dad knew, though. I think there were others. Eventually, your father decided the best way to handle it was to keep the Ruffino girls away from him. Let Justin work out his frustrations… elsewhere.”

  It was like I’d been encased in ice. Vaguely, I realized I was nodding.

  An image of Justin, as he was now, played behind my eyes. Violent, angry, and cruel.

  “Bella, he’s sadistic. You should cut off contact with him. I mean, one time he poisoned our dog because Steffi
e wouldn’t let him in the house. He came back and fed Roo a laced sandwich. We had to get the poor thing’s stomach pumped, racked up my mom’s credit card. Once, he threw a neighborhood cat off a roof to see if it landed on its feet. As he got bigger and started taking steroids, it only got worse. Everyone was afraid of him. It was like he was possessed or some shit, honey.” Lisa must’ve seen my expression and winced. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop. I wanted to tell you, but he was in jail and what good would it do to drag all that dirty laundry out? I was hoping you’d see it on your own. I’m so sorry, love.”

  Reaching out with a shaking hand, I took a sip of my margarita, and let the alcohol burn its way down my throat. I suddenly wished it was a sleeping potion.

  I’d never known my little brother as an adult, had I?

  I’d been right to think that the Justin Ruffino I used to know was dead. But the Capestranas weren’t responsible for that. My father was. And so was Justin, himself.

  Grief rocked through my body as I thought about the little boy I taught to skip rocks and tie his shoes. The boy whose chubby hand I held when we went to the playground. As I tried to wrap my head around this new reality, I realized Lisa was trying to subtly wipe away her own tears.

  The guilt must’ve been killing her, but this wasn’t on her. As much as I wanted to be mad that she never told me, I understood. My father had a terrible temper and long reach. She and Steff must’ve been terrified.

  “Lisa, thank you for telling me.” My voice shook. “I’m sorry, please don’t think I’m angry with you.”

  Suddenly, I froze. This had been kept from me, just as I’d been kept away. Jesus, had the Capestranas had it right all along? What other ugly secrets did I not know about my family?

  My cousin looked nervous, as though sensing what I was about to ask. And taking a deep breath, I worked up my nerve, and plunged into the abyss.

  “What about Emilio?” I asked, my entire body now shaking.

  If I’d thought Lisa looked upset, and haunted before, now she looked downright petrified.

  “Um, what do you mean?” Her lips were bloodless.

  My heart sank. I could tell by her face she knew what I meant, and it wasn’t good. “Justin talks about him like he was a king, a great man.”

  Suddenly something Lisa had said to me in the coffee shop raced through my mind.

  A real King Midas with his hush money. Just be glad he didn’t turn you into gold, huh, princess?

  Lisa sighed. “Oh, Bella. They lied to you. It’s all lies. Haven’t you heard the rumors about the rotten Ruffinos?” My stomach lurched as I nodded. “The sex slavery ring, the girls, that poor kidnapped virgin… It all happened. Our family broke the Trinacria agreement. I saw it going down and I got the hell out of town. That’s why the Capestranas went to the Feds. They had no choice.” She shivered. “Emilio, he’d lost his mind, I swear.”

  The auctions. With the girls that my father had sworn to me were active participants out to make a boatload of cash. Girls who were of legal age, who had consented and chose to make their money in the world’s oldest profession.

  Pressing my hands to my stomach, I leaned forward, gasping for air a little. For a moment, I thought I was going to be sick, as the room spun around me, but then I clenched my teeth.

  I’d been manipulated. My cousins, my brother had lied to my face. Lied about lying.

  Told me the rumors had been invented by the Capestranas and the Feds to destroy my father. Ensure Axe walked free. Give Colt and his boys room to make money.

  Like a fool, I’d bought it.

  Suddenly I was angry. How dare they use me like this? Calling me home, using me like a pawn, and acting like my father was a goddamn saint.

  If half of what I’d heard was true, he’d been the devil incarnate.

  Looking up, I realized Lisa was sobbing, and I reached across the table now. Taking her hands I squeezed them.

  “Hey, hey. It’s okay. Please don’t cry, Lisa.”

  “I should’ve told you sooner. Shoulda told you weeks ago, years ago.” Lisa wept harder. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you, I wanted to protect you. But now you’re being manipulated… Rudy and Nevio were always Justin’s lapdogs. They just do whatever he says. I-I’m sorry, Bella.”

  “I forgive you. Don’t apologize, I get why you kept it from me,” I whispered.

  Several things from over the years were clicking into place. Now I understood why people in Ehlrich revered the Capestranas and spat on the Ruffino name.

  With a terrible, painful thud, I landed at the bottom of the abyss.

  My family was absolute shit.

  Sitting there, holding Lisa’s hands, and watching her cry, I struggled to keep my own tears in.

  My entire plan had been so fucking misguided. I was so stupid, so clueless.

  And now I was in love with Colt and it was all too late. I’d already dug my own grave.

  Staring around the restaurant, pressure building behind my eyes, heart splintering into pieces, I tried to figure out what to do.

  If I came clean, at worst, Colt might have me killed.

  At best, he’d hate my guts.

  But if I didn’t tell him who I really was? I couldn’t live with myself.

  Fine mess you’ve gotten us into this time, Rabbit.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Colt

  Too pumped to stay in my truck as I parked outside Bella’s apartment, I hopped out. Temps had dipped below twenty, the sky was heavy with clouds, but that didn’t shake my mood. We had to manage some shit with the Ruffinos, sure, but tonight was all about family. Breaking bread, talking and letting everyone get to know Bella.

  My pulse kicked into high gear when I saw her.

  She was coming out the door, checking her pockets, her bag, fixing her hair, clutching a bottle of wine, and looking completely distracted. Her copper penny hair and beautiful face glowed against the gray day and I let out a wolf whistle.

  Her head shot up and her lip curled in anger. Then, she rolled her eyes when she saw me.

  “You about to throw down?” I asked, striding over, and wrapping her in a bear hug.

  “Maybe.” Her voice was muffled and she punched me lightly as I let her go. “You should know better than to mess with a redhead on this street.” She shook her head at me. “Hey, it’s freezing, why didn’t you wait in the truck?”

  “Couldn’t wait to see you.” I leaned down and kissed her. I’d meant for it to be quick, we were already running late, but I couldn’t stop.

  Finally, Bella pulled away, a little breathless. For a moment, she looked like she wanted to say something, but then looked down. “Let’s go before you freeze. We are so gonna be late.”

  “I don’t know, I’m gettin’ pretty warm.” I slid an arm around her shoulders as we walked to the truck. “And we’re not that late…”

  “Colt.” Bella gave me a sassy look and I almost kissed her again.

  “Kidding,” I said, opening the door, and helping her in. “Someone’s feisty.”

  “I’m not feisty,” Bella demurred, tossing her head. “But I am a little nervous.”

  Laughing, I shut her door, and jogged around to my side. As I hopped in, I said, “They’re gonna love you, Rabbit. Don’t worry. And you didn’t have to bring gifts, you know.”

  She smiled softly, shrugging one shoulder. I paused before starting the truck, studying her under the glare of the streetlight. She seemed a little off, I realized. Something in her face had changed. The green of her eyes was glass-like, fragile even, and her skin almost as pale as the rainy night she’d shown up on my doorstep.

  “What is it?” She bit her lip. “Do I have something on my face?”

  “Rabbit, what, do you not own a mirror, or something? No. You’re gorgeous.”

  And clearly nervous, as she’d said. I turned the truck on, and drove away.

  Picking up her hand, I pressed it to my lips for a long moment. She settled back in the seat and hugge
d the wine bottle to her chest. I wanted to reassure her that the only thing anyone should worry about when meeting Capestranas were their eardrums but she didn’t seem inclined to talk so I turned the music on.

  An old song by Alicia Keys came on as we continued to drive and I turned it up a little. If I Aint Got You. Too perfect. Bella flushed pink when our glances met.

  A shy, sexy smile touched her lips, and her eyes grew soft.

  If I hadn’t known I was in love before, that look would’ve shot me straight through the heart. And I was going to tell her tonight. For the rest of the ride, we listened to music and I held her chilly hand in mine. The second she met the fam, this would all fade away. They’d love her, and she’d see that she’d been worried for nothing.

  When I parked in front of Mama Ange’s, the driveway already packed with cars, Bella started, and looked around. Her mouth fell open as she gazed up at the big house, the extensive grounds, and the gates in the distance.

  “Are we in Tuscany?” Her face lit up as she looked at me. “How did I miss driving in?”

  “Get enough sleep last night? Or was thinking about me keeping you up?” I grinned as she flushed and tried not to smile. “Seriously, you okay?”

  Someone banged on my window at that moment and I sighed. Turning, I saw a bevy of Capestranas waiting outside, shivering, and grinning. “Goddamn it,” I muttered.

  Bella blinked as the truck was surrounded by people. “Wow. Um, are they always like this?”

  Suddenly a little embarrassed at my rowdy family, I muttered, “Uh, yeah. Hope you like dinner and a show, because you can’t have one without the other here.”

  Rosco was opening Bella’s door, the little shit, and offering his arm. “Ms. Bella, I presume? My name is Rosco, I’ll be your escort for the evening.”

  “Rosco, sei carne morta,” I snarled, but he shut the door in my face, winking.

  “Colt!” My door was now open and my twin little sisters were screaming in my ear.

  “Why’re you so late?” Ava demanded. “Were you making out with your girlfriend?”