Better to Eat You

by Savannah Skye

  “When did you get a girlfriend?” Sophia asked. “Is she really a dancer? I want to be a dancer!”

  “Uncle Colt, that’s the lady mom let in the building!” Trent exclaimed. “Mom, you were right!”

  “Get in here!” Mama Ange shrieked from the front steps. “Do you want to catch your death with the cold? Madonna mia! Cosimo, what were you thinking? Why are they out here?”

  Blowing out my cheeks, I got out of the car and hurried into the house with the chattering family surrounding us like some sort of dysfunctional Secret Service.

  Once inside, Ava was taking Bella’s coat, Rosco was still flirting with her, Sophia was offering her something to drink, and Mama Ange was scolding everyone.

  “Ava, you lay her coat out nicely, capisci? Rosco, basta. Go away and do something useful. Here, you and Sophia, take your little cousins away. Now. I want to talk to Cosimo and his Bella.”

  The entryway cleared of everyone in thirty seconds flat, and I shook my head. I wished the family would listen to me that way.

  “Sorry we’re late, Mama.” I offered her my biggest smile and a hug.

  Mama Ange squinted at me and then smiled. “Hmph. You have lipstick on your mouth, Colt.” She now turned to Bella, who seemed a little shell-shocked and more than a little unsure. “Bella, thank you so much for coming, today. Oh, and for spending any time at all with this fool.”

  A startled laugh popped out of Bella. “Of course, thank you for having me.”

  “I’m her favorite,” I explained, wiping my mouth as Mama Ange hugged Bella.

  “So he wishes.” Letting her go, Mama Ange patted my cheek a little harder than necessary. “I have no favorites, how could I?” She smiled over at Bella. “You go by Bella, yes? Let me get you a plate, something to drink, hm?”

  “Oh, but it’s your birthday,” Bella protested. “And oh, um, for you. It’s Amarone. Perfect for a special occasion.”

  Mama Ange looked impressed as she took it. “This is the nicest gift yet. I like you already. Colt never brings any girls to meet me. Or nice gifts. Very ungrateful eldest grandson. So, you, you are very special. I can see it.” Bella went bright pink. “Why are you with him?”

  “Oh, see, Bella helped me figure out the glassware for the club,” I teased. “No mason jars.”

  Bella’s cheeks went even brighter pink as she shot me a horrified look, and Mama Ange swatted me, saying, “Cosimo, basta. Oh, that smart mouth of yours.”

  “Did she corner you by the door?” Pop came into the hall, holding a glass of wine, and shaking his head. “Honestly, Ange, at least let them come in ten more feet.”

  “Sputare nel piatto dove si mangia,” Mama Ange retorted. Bella laughed in appreciation, and my grandmother beamed. “Parli italiano, cara mia?”

  “Si. Sei meraviglioso. Buon compleanno,” Bella responded, her cheeks still pink.

  Mama Ange hugged Bella again and thanked her for the birthday wish.

  “You didn’t tell me that, Colt.” My father clapped me on the arm. When Mama Ange finally let her go, he introduced himself, shaking Bella’s hand, then kissing it. “You Italian? Sicilian?”

  “Yes! I see it, too,” Mama Ange said.

  Bella shook her head, a sad, uneasy look darting across her face. “Very little, sorry. I just travel a lot.”

  “Ah, well. We won’t tell anyone,” Mama Ange joked, steering her into the kitchen. My father and I followed. He held me back before we entered, then pulled me down to kiss my cheek.

  “Dante was right, huh? Two of my boys down in less than two months. Damn. That’s amore,” Pop laughed.

  “What was I right about?” Dante appeared behind us, Trent clinging to his leg, and our tiny second-cousin Maria to his hand. “Oh, look at that, Uncle Sal. He did bring Bella.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” My father let me go, pulled out his wallet, and handed Dante two fifties.

  “Are you fuckin’ serious?” I asked. Something hit my ear and I yelped. “Ow, what the h—”

  Mama Ange glared at me across the kitchen.

  “Language, Colt.” She brandished a wooden spoon like a weapon. “Do you see these children? You know better. That smart mouth will not be so clever full of soap.”

  Looking beyond her, I saw Bella shaking with laughter, never mind my entire family, who were all howling. Rosco was clapping, Nicky saluted me, and Axe shot me a smug look.

  I offered Ange a deprecating smile.

  “Beautiful Nonna.” I placed a hand over my heart. “Mi dispiace.”

  Her cheeks went pink but she just waved a hand and went back to talking to Bella, who was now wiping her eyes.

  “Bella hasn’t run yet. I like her.” Pop winked at me. “Has a great laugh, too.”

  After Mama Ange had made her a plate, they’d eagerly discussed food, wine, and traveling for a while. Then the twins dragged her off to play games. Bella wound up with two cousins in her lap, reaching around to deal her hands. Maria had plopped herself next to Bella and was braiding her hair.

  In no time, Bella had won over my family with her stories, speaking in Italian, and just her fun, warm way. Watching her made my heart feel like it was about to burst out of my chest.

  For with every moment that passed, I was falling more and more in love with her and I couldn’t wait until we were alone.

  Bella

  Checking my watch, I was shocked to see I’d been at this party for over four hours.

  I’d met so many people, eaten so much food, played so many games, heard countless stories, even told stories of my own, and laughed.

  I’d never laughed so much in my life. It had flown by. And everyone was so genuinely happy to meet me, too, then to hassle Colt.

  It was amazing. Wonderful. Perfect.

  But the longer I was there, the more I wished my last name was truly Lesaude. The more I wished I hadn’t tried to play Colt. And, worse, the more I fell in love with him. Watching him charm his grandmother, and tease his sisters, and talk with his father. It was a revelation. One that only made me see the stark difference between them and my own family.

  When I’d woken up this morning at Lisa’s, my head was pounding, my heart hurt, and my mouth had been dry. It was like I had a hangover from learning the truth about the Ruffinos.

  And then late last night, Lisa had delved into the details surrounding my father’s death.

  Now, I couldn’t help but see Axe in a completely different light. Lisa had explained that he’d only pulled the trigger because my father was about to kill Brenna. It sounded like something out of a horror movie. I’d barely slept.

  While I loved being here, it was also tearing me apart. These people were a real family.

  Meanwhile, the Ruffino blood in my veins felt like poison now. I was a fraud, a piece of shit in this house of golden people with big hearts, loud laughter, and real loyalty.

  Never mind how lying to Colt now made my very soul feel dirty and battered. I felt monstrous, evil. I almost expected to be struck with lightning on the spot.

  Watching him with his family, I saw that tender, affectionate side of Colt on full display. It seemed like every other minute, a baby was being thrust at him, a kid was climbing onto his back, or a relative was sliding their arm around his shoulders, eager to talk.

  More than one person gave me a half-joyful, half-impressed look, and while I wanted to feel a sense of joy and pride that Colt was apparently mine, I only felt burning shame.

  He was a good man. How could I have been so blind?

  And Colt always made time to check on me, to flick his eyes over me in appreciation, give me that look reserved for me alone, wink at me, or tug gently on my hair.

  A little later, after everyone had congregated back into the kitchen, I slipped out to use the ladies’ room. I needed a break. Someone had let me hold their new baby and gazing down at that perfect little person had wrung my heart one time too many. Then, looking up, I saw Colt’s face, and it splintered.

  I almost started cr
ying then and there.

  In the bathroom, I took several deep breaths, staring into the mirror. Lisa had urged me to tell him before we even came here, but I’d chickened out. But no more. No matter what it cost me, I had to tell him and I had to do it soon.

  Already mourning what I was surely losing, I wandered back, gazing around at this beautiful house. I was struck again by how warm it felt. It wasn’t just the lovely furniture and the art. It was that same sense I’d gotten in Colt’s apartment. The life, the laughter, and the joy.

  The connection of people and their memories within these walls.

  Peeking into an empty room, I walked in. It looked like a cross between a study and a craft room. There was a picture of a family on the bookshelf, and I stopped, staring.

  Here was a young Colt, grinning impishly, holding his baby sisters in each arm, Axe laughing, and their sister Trina sticking her tongue out. Sal was gazing at the lovely woman he had his arm around, who was also laughing. Without meaning to, I picked it up.

  “Isn’t she beautiful?” a soft, lilting voice asked.

  Gasping, I jumped a mile, and nearly dropped the picture. Whirling around, I stared at the girl in the doorway. She was petite, with long dark hair, and incredible teal eyes.

  “B-Brenna, right?” I asked, hastily putting the picture back. “I’m sorry…. I…” Trailing off, I stared at her. Brenna Fiore was Axe’s girlfriend, an ethereal, breathtaking beauty.

  Now knowing Axe’s real name, Angelino, I’d watched him with Brenna all night from afar, and thought about how fitting it was. Her savior. Of course he was Mama Ange’s namesake, too. Colt’s big, dark, and muscular younger brother was like a guardian angel to this girl. I’d seen the way he looked at her, the gentleness, the fierce protectiveness, and the love.

  It’d made me both want Colt even more, and to run far away. He deserved better than me.

  “Don’t apologize.” She was so sweet. “Their mom…Colt has her eyes.”

  “Yeah, I noticed that,” I murmured.

  Brenna gave me a strange look, the same one she’d given me when I was introduced to her. But we’d been interrupted by Colt’s sister Trina. In fact, I’d caught Brenna eyeing me more than once.

  I flushed. Maybe she’d noticed me watching her and Axe.

  She turned and closed the door behind her gently before facing me again.

  Her gaze was troubled, her posture stiff, but nothing could prepare me for her words.

  “I know who you are, Bella.”

  I froze. Blood roared through my body and my hands started to shake. Vaguely, I realized my knees were buckling. Brenna rushed to me, leading me to a small couch.

  “H-how?” I finally got out. “Did you tell them?”

  “No.” She bit her lip. “I saw a picture of you at the Ruffino estate last year. You were a little girl then, but you look the same. Your face is unforgettable. The red hair, the smile.”

  “Oh, God.” I couldn’t hold back anymore. My body curved in and a sob tore from my chest. “I didn’t know what he’d done to you. Please believe me, I’m so sorry.”

  To my complete astonishment, Brenna slipped an arm around me. “I know. They kept you away on purpose. I heard them talk about you. Heard them make up the lies to tell you, even. You’re a dance prodigy, right?”

  “Did they hurt you?” My eyes went wide as I stared at her. “Did he…? Did Justin?”

  A haunted look came into her eyes, and Brenna stared into the distance. “No, it’s not what you think. They had to preserve me. The mind games were the worst.”

  A small cry fell from my mouth.

  “How can you even look at me, never mind touch me? I’m one of them. Please, you don’t have to do this.”

  Brenna looked at me with far more empathy than I deserved. “I spent time with your family, Bella. I know how they manipulate people. What I need to know is if you do, too.”

  I clenched my hands together, wishing I could tell her I’d never had any intention of hurting them, but that would be a lie.

  Time to let it all out.

  I explained briefly, then concluded, “They told me Justin had taken the fall for something he didn’t do, that the situation had been manipulated so that our family lost all our power, and yours gained it. Wanted to use me to get close to Colt, especially. Because he’s so important, so beloved. My cousin just told me the truth last night, if you can believe that. For years, they fed me fairytales about our family, and lies about the Capestranas. I didn’t know. I swear, I didn’t know.”

  I sensed Brenna nodding. “I figured it was something like that.”

  “I had been away for so long. I didn’t know my brother had changed so much. And I never knew my father well enough to see his dark side… I used to dream about coming home. It was lonely, though. I’d worry about Justin. Our mother died right after he was born, I can’t even remember her. Justin, I remember. He was premature, with very weak lungs. Became asthmatic, and almost died. He was my responsibility, my purpose, you know? I cared for him, taught him things.

  “And by the time he was six, he was better. Perfect timing,” I said, my voice becoming bitter. “My father sent me away right after that, business was booming. He told me that with my gifts, I had to train at the best schools, make sacrifices, and that would honor my family. What a fucking joke.”

  Brenna was quiet, and I took a deep breath, continuing, “I just have that image of that little baby boy in my head, and I can’t seem to reconcile him with that vicious, tattooed monster. I keep expecting Justin to show up somewhere with that sweet smile.

  “How could he have done those things? How could my father do those things?”

  Brenna let out a long breath. “I don’t know, but I believe you. And I don’t blame you. I blame him. That said, you have to tell Colt. I have a responsibility to Axe and his family and if you don’t tell Colt, I have no choice but to tell him myself.”

  Stammering, I said, “I-I’ve been trying to. I swear. I don’t know how. He’ll never forgive me. And who can blame him?”

  “For all that smart-assery, he cares. Deeply.” She smiled. “When a Capestrana man falls, they fall hard. Give him the chance to prove you wrong.”

  “I just don’t know if I’m even worth forgiving,” I murmured.

  “Listen, once I tried to stab Angelino.” Brenna laughed at the stunned expression on my face. “They like a little spirit, those two. If anything, Colt will admire you for nearly pulling one over on him. I didn’t even think that was possible…but he’s got to hear it from you, Bella. It will be tough at first, and may take some time, but I can see how he feels about you. It will work out in the end. Capestranas fight for what they want. And Colt wants you.”

  With that in mind, I made it through the rest of the night, but it wasn’t easy. Every time I looked at Colt, my heart broke a little more. Later that night, driving to Colt’s apartment, I tried to find the courage, but it had slipped away like sand dissolving in water.

  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the words out.

  Just one more night, I promised myself.

  I would have one more night with him before I said the words, so I could hold it close to my heart when he walked away.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Colt

  Sneaking a glance at Bella sipping tea in the kitchen, I smiled at the picture she made. Even in her simple blue dress, heels off, hair down, she was breathtaking. Then I knelt and looked Toro in the eye as he snuggled on the couch.

  “You’re gonna stay here, right bud?” I whispered, scratching his ears. “You got your bones, your toys, you’re good.” And I swear that brilliant dog winked at me. “Good boy.”

  “Are you bribing the dog?” Bella asked. I looked up to see her leaning over the back of the couch, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Just tuckin’ him in.” I stretched, and shot her a wink. “C’mon, let’s get you all tucked in, too, Rabbit.”

  Bella bit her lip as I came around
the couch and again I had that sense that something was bothering her. I’d felt it the whole way to Mama Ange’s and the whole way home, and it was tying me in knots. I hated that something was causing her pain. But, if she was anything like me, she needed some time to deal with things in her own mind before she talked them through. Those were the kind of things that came with time between people…things we needed to learn about each other, and I said a silent prayer for patience.

  With a sigh, I pulled her close and kissed her temple.

  Then and there, I decided not to pull out the jewelry box in my jacket pocket. Sometime earlier in the day, watching Bella with my family, I saw a flash of longing in her eyes. A ring so soon might overwhelm her, cause her to panic, and bolt. Even with tonight, just staying over was already making her skittish. I could feel her getting weird on me, and the last thing I wanted was for her to turn that bunny tail and hop away home.

  I let out a laugh at that thought.

  “What’s so funny?” She leaned back and looked up at me.

  “Oh, nothin’.” I shrugged, giving her a quick grin. “Let’s get ready for bed.”

  We brushed our teeth side by side and I winked at her in the mirror, bumping her hip with mine. Domestic shit like this used to make me want to run for cover, but with Bella, I wanted it all.

  But even as I grinned at her, her eyes overflowed with tears. She seemed shocked by it herself, raising a shaking hand to her face, and muttering between clenched teeth, “Fuck.”

  I swiped my mouth off with a towel and grabbed her shoulders. “What? What is it? Come on, will you please tell me what’s wrong?” Tears tracked down her face and my jaw clenched. “Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

  She laughed and then let out a hiccup. “Damn, I hate crying in front of other people,” she murmured, almost to herself.

  Trailing my thumbs across her cheeks, I wiped away her tears as she took a deep breath. “You gonna tell me what’s going on?”

  Bella closed her eyes and pressed her hands over mine. “Thank you for inviting me into your world, and into your family,” she said softly. “Thank you, Colt. It was an amazing night and I’ll never forget it.”