What Might Kill Us

by M. N. Forgy

  Two Days Later

  “Come on, come out and meet everyone,” Bull asks, helping me out of the bed. I’ve been in this bed for two days, and I desperately want to get a shower and get some fresh air, but meeting everyone makes me tense.

  “I need a shower Bull, and some clean clothes first. I don’t want to meet everyone looking like this,” I respond, gesturing at myself. I’m wearing a shirt of Bull’s that smells of him and says Sturgis on it, with a pair of green shorts he brought me that are a tad too tight for my hips. I’ve had them on since I got here, and would kill someone for some sweatpants right now.

  He cups my face. “You’re gorgeous and look natural and real. I want them to see you for you, and this is the best time to see that,” he replies with a tone of honesty. I roll my eyes, this man knows the game and plays it very well. Saying exactly the right things, at the right time.

  “Fine, but I can walk Bull,” I smack his hand away. He doesn’t listen, he wraps an arm around my waist and escorts me out of the room.

  A long narrow hallway leads us to a main room. Black leather furniture sits in one corner and a bar in the adjacent one. Men and women are gathered around it drinking beers and laughing cheerfully. Eyeing the liquor I glance at Bull, curious how he’s handling the temptation. His eyes smile when they look at me, not giving anything away.

  “Hey!” Bull tries to grab everyone’s attention, but they continue talking. “Hey! Shut the fuck up!” Bull shouts, successfully catching every single person’s attention.

  Sweat beads in the center of my back, my cheeks flush, and I feel like I can’t breathe with everyone looking at me. They’re all so tough looking. Everyone wearing some kind of leather, and most covered in tattoos or piercings.

  I am so out of my league here, then again I never really fit in anywhere.

  “This is Anahi, she’s mine so don’t fucking think about it.” My head whips in his direction when he says I’m his to his entire club. My heart swells and my stomach does this fluttery thing. Bull points at a couple of the guys who are nodding their heads in a lustful manner. This also gets me a couple eye rolls from a few women standing by the bar.

  “She the reason we on lock down?” a woman asks, hate dripping from her tone. She has reddish brown hair and bright red lipstick. She looks mean with her pinched face and leather attire. Her eyes find mine, and as bad as I want to look away I lift my chin and meet her eye for eye.

  These people hate me, I’m now the gringo.

  “Vera, take a fucking chill pill,” Bull orders, the bitch face now having a name. She throws a hand dismissively and turns her back toward us. I exhale, knowing I wasn’t the first to turn away has to stand for something. “Anahi is here under my protection and anyone who has a problem with that can come see me and afterwards you can fuck right off,” Bull informs with a tone so serious I instantly feel protected.

  The crowd begins to resume their conversations, acting like what just happened − didn’t.

  “What is lockdown?” I look up at Bull.

  “Nobody goes in or out without my permission. Not until this shit with The Cartel is settled, or blows over,” Bull informs me.

  “Hi, I’m Dani,” a woman steps in my line of sight, her hand held out for a handshake. She’s beautiful, dark hair with bright green eyes that remind me of Bull’s.

  “Hi,” I smile, and shake her hand. At least there’s someone who doesn’t look at me like a tramp that just snuck in the back door.

  “This is my daughter,” Bull informs, a little smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. My eyes flare with recognition looking at Dani. She has Bull’s dark hair and eyes, how I didn’t notice the resemblance before I haven’t a clue.

  “You here long?” Dani asks, tilting her head to the side. And there it is. She doesn’t like me much either.

  “Dani,” Bull warns, but she doesn’t take her eyes off me.

  “Um, I don’t know,” I respond.

  Her eyes pinch together, as if she’s trying to read me. “How old are you?”

  “Dani!” Bull barks, but she doesn’t flinch.

  “I’m twenty-one,” I answer honestly. Her face lets go of its judgmental expression, before turning into a wolfish smirk. “Well, nice to meet you Anahi,” she smiles, as if I passed some unknown test and turns on her heel to walk away.

  My head begins to ache, my shoulder starts to warm. Tugging on Bull’s cut, he dips his ear near my mouth so he can hear me.

  “I think I need to lay down,” I tell him.

  He nods and escorts me back to the room. Once in he shuts the door and I let out a breath I’ve felt I’ve been holding since everyone looked my way. That was intense, and I don’t look forward to doing that again anytime soon.

  “You okay?” Bull questions, rubbing my back. Closing my eyes I nod, rolling my lips onto one another. I was homeschooled so I never had to deal with cliques or give a second thought to what others thought of me.

  I have no idea how to handle this. I want to tell them all to fuck off, but I don’t want to ruin this.

  “If you want their respect, push back,” he advises. I laugh and look up at him.

  “How is stepping on everyone’s toes going to gain respect?” my tone laced with incredulity.

  “It will, trust me.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. “If they see the fire that I do, they will know you’re just like us.”

  Biting my nails I ponder on what he’s telling me. Curious what he means by “just like us”.

  “That offer to get a shower earlier still on the table?” he whispers in my ear.

  The question laced with more than solicitude, it heeds sexual tension and desire. My thighs instantly ache, as my panties dampen from the thought of Bull taking me in the shower.

  “Yeah, that sounds fucking perfect,” I whisper with a heavy breath.

  Her whiskey colored eyes go heavy, her breathing becoming heavier when I slide my hands up her sides. Her skin is so soft and pure beneath my palms it causes my dick to swell instantly. I’ve been trying to figure out what this woman means to me for days. What these feelings I have for her mean and the answer terrifies me.

  “You’re on my mind too fucking much, Anahi,” I verbally blurt before fucking thinking. My admission making her cheeks turn pink and her mouth part as if she can’t believe what she heard. Is it so hard to believe I think about her?

  As my hands make their way up her frame I pull her shirt over her head. Trying to be careful of her shoulder that is bandaged from the gunshot. Her small breasts secure in a purple bra. Fingering one strap I lower it down her arm, then the other. Her skin prickles with goosebumps from my touch, and I have to bite my bottom lip to keep from groaning like a goddamn choir boy touching his first bitch.

  She looks up with hooded eyes, her mouth pouting beautifully.

  Swooping my arm around her back, I pull her into me and then upward. She wraps her legs around my waist, her arms gently wrapping around my neck as not to hurt her shoulder.

  I walk us into the bathroom and turn the water on hot, as my lips find hers in a search of hunger.

  The taste of her mouth sweeter than any wine and just as hard as any whiskey.

  I can’t get enough, and crave it as soon as she pulls away.

  Her lips fit against mine perfectly. The taste of her my new addiction. I nip at her bottom lip, her tongue sweeping into my mouth and taking over my senses.

  The club turns on music, the place turning into a complete uproar as Anahi and I stay in here, lost in our own world. The song “Behind Blue Eyes” by The Who faintly heard through the walls.

  I don’t wait to take off my clothes or to remove the rest of hers before I step us both into the shower. The glass door shutting behind us as the hot water pelts into our clothes and across our skin. I unclasp her bra, her breasts popping free for my taking.

  Beads of water cascading down her perfect tits.

  Dipping down I take a nipple
into my mouth, the water and salty taste of her quenching my thirst.

  Her head falls back, a sweet moan spilling from those angelic lips. Her hands scramble, trying to pull my shirt over my head. The sudden urge to have me naked lets me know she wants me as bad as I want her. I lift my hands helping her and once the shirt is off, her fingers claw down my skin painfully. Her eyes widening in awe at my bare chest.

  I pull her close, her hard nipples sliding against my chest. My cock presses against my jeans agonizingly and I nudge the apex of her thighs with it. Her head falls downward, her eyes landing on my excitement.

  Her fingers grab at the button on my pants, undoing them quickly before sliding them off my ass. When they drop to my feet I kick them to the side. My dick hard and ready to sink into her warm pussy.

  She drops her legs and I place her on her feet on the shower floor so I can unbutton her shorts, she kicks them off just as fast as I got rid of mine. Her pink panties the only thing left on her, I grip them with both hands and rip them off her hips. I need inside of her now, and don’t care to wait a second longer.

  My eyes rake her from top to bottom, taking in her sultry image. From her dark hair, wet and curling right above her tits to her smooth stomach, wide hips, and thick thighs. She’s got the body of a goddamn Coke bottle for sure.

  I grab her by the ass cheeks and lift her up, her legs wrapping around me once more. The head of my dick instantly finds her heat as I press her up against the glass door.

  “Wait,” she holds her hands against my chest. “Shouldn’t we use a condom or something?”

  I raise a brow and jerk my hips, my dick dipping into her tight cunt.

  “Nothing is keeping me from being inside of you fully,” I growl. Her head falls forward as a cry rips from her throat. She’s so warm and tight, my fingers can’t help but dig into her ass cheeks.

  I smash my lips against hers, taking her cries and moans in one powerful kiss. Her eyes flutter with droplets as her mouth parts against mine. My hips drive into hers over and over, the feeling of her wrapped around me what I’ve been missing in my life. Her body jerks every time I thrust in her, her tits bounce against me like we’re in our own goddamn porno.

  Placing my head in the crook of her neck, I suck the sensitive skin there and her nails caress the back of my head.

  Anahi reveals the kind of pleasure I bring her, losing control of her body she swirls her hips, chasing her own ecstasy and just like that my balls constrict with the need to cum.

  I groan, and slow my hips.

  “If you don’t want me to cum in you then tell me to stop now, otherwise I’m blowing my load inside of you and all down your fucking legs.”

  “Don’t stop,” she pants bucking herself up and down my length.

  I drive my bare cock in and out of her. The ridge of my head hits her just right and a powerful moan rips through her body as she tenses, her nails digging into my back as she cums. Grasping her hips I angle her upward and watch my dick enter and leave her. Warmth and pressure igniting in the base of my cock and spiraling into a world of fucking bliss. I fill her with cum as I continue to thrust in and out of her, so much so that it begins to drip out of her pussy. The sight of it trickling down her ass and onto the floor of the shower is fucking sexy as hell.

  Glancing through hooded eyes I find her staring right back at me with a parted mouth. I lean forward and kiss her. She sucks in a tight breath, her body trembling beneath me as I slip out of her.

  Slowly I let her down and she sways on her feet. I grab her hips, steadying her while she catches her breath.

  “Place your hands on the shower wall,” I tell her and she does as she’s told, looking over her shoulder as she comes down from her orgasm.

  I grab the bottle of shampoo and squirt some in my hand before working it into her hair.

  “Um, what are you doing?” she asks with a laugh.

  I lean into her, the smell of apples sweet and supple. “I’m taking care of you, and if you think you’re going to argue about it, think again,” I reply sternly, giving her ass a slight tap. It gives a ripple against my palm, and I can’t help but give it another ample slap. She jumps and looks at me with flushed cheeks. There is something about her that makes me want to take care of her on some level. To fuck her until she can’t stand, then clean her up and cherish the fuck out of her.

  “Hey Bull, what is your real name?” she asks softly, the sound sweet and innocent taking me from my thoughts.

  I stall, looking at my fingers that are covered in shampoo.

  “Leo Goodman,” I answer.

  “Why do they call you, Bull?”

  I smile. “Why do you think?” I answer suggestively and she rolls her eyes. “Because I’m stubborn,” I finally reply. She tilts her head to the side, her eyes squinted.

  “I can see that.”

  My mouth hangs open at her jab.

  “Oh yeah?” I run my hands up her side, tickling her. The sound of laughter foreign in this room.

  This bitch is sinking her claws in me and is making me a different man. I’ve never felt the need to be carefree and just be with someone. Hell, I never wanted to take care of someone on this level… not even Babs.

  Waking up this morning my body feels so used and abused I barely recognize myself. Rolling over I notice I have a smile on my face, something I haven’t woken up to in well, I can’t remember. Bull is sound asleep, his arms tucked under his head and chest bare. The blanket hanging low on his hips, revealing a happy trail of hair leading to something I’ve grown to love.

  Who knew I would love sex as much as I do now.

  My eyes widen at the internal thought − love. I’m falling in love with Bull.

  I chew on my inner cheek in deep thought, scared at what this means.

  The last man I thought I loved broke my heart, leaving the crow of death to eat away at its rotting flesh. I never thought I would trust anyone again, yet here I am, more in love than I ever have.

  The way he fucked me like he couldn’t get enough of me has my squeezing my thighs together at the memory. His mouth and hands were all over me, then the affection he showed afterwards was something I’ve never experienced before him. I haven’t had someone take so much time and effort on me, if he’s trying to make me fall in love with him it’s working. If he’s not, then I’m screwed.

  Biting my nails I think about how I let him come inside of me last night. How we have had unprotected sex more than once now.

  We have been careless, lost in the moment of us to think about the repercussions of our actions.

  Sitting up, I look over the room. Empty bottles of alcohol littered along the floor from before Bull left for Texas.

  I glance at him, remembering how pale and sick he was when he kicked the booze for good. He left this place because he was running from his emotions. But with all this temptation around, if he gets back on the bottle he may slip back into the darkness and I’ll lose him again.

  Climbing out of bed I pull on a shirt that reads Devil’s Dust. The front matching the logo on Bull’s leather cut. Then I pull on the same green shorts I’ve been wearing.

  I have to see how to earn some money around here to get some damn clothes or something.

  I finger my hair into submission and slip out the door quietly.

  It’s quiet, and the hallway is dark.

  My feet pad along the floor as I make my way to the bar, my eyes looking every which way.

  Just like I thought there’s beer, shot glasses, and every other drink that would make someone who is trying to quit drinking fall to temptation.

  Noticing two double doors behind the bar I head toward them, finding a kitchen on the other side.

  Looking for a trash can I find one by the sink and drag it out of the kitchen and back to the bar.

  My hands start grabbing bottles and cups and I throw them in the trash. Jack Daniels, Bud Light, tequila, all of it goes in the trash.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” a vo
ice startles me, making me turn around and clutch my chest in alarm.

  Dani stands there with wide eyes, looking at me as if I’ve lost my mind. I begin to panic and then remember Bull telling me to push back. To be myself.

  Getting control of myself, I lift my chin and straighten my back. They may hate me in the end, but at least they’ll hate the real me.

  “I’m getting rid of it, what does it look like?” I reply, continuing my sweep.

  “Well stop! Do you realize how many of the club members will be pissed at you?” she asks, grabbing a bottle from my hand. I pull back, and she struggles from the force.

  “Well considering the warm welcome I got yesterday, I don’t really care what people think of me. I’m doing this for Bull,” I inform. Her face goes stoic and she releases the bottle.

  “F- For Bull,” she stutters, her voice taking a tone of sincerity. I pause, setting the bottle on the counter.

  “Yeah, he’s been sober for days, but all this temptation around here it won’t last long,” I inform, looking over the bar.

  She doesn’t move as an unreadable look crosses her face, her eyes never leaving mine.

  “You’re doing this for my dad?” she asks softly.

  I shrug, grabbing the bottle and tossing it in the trash. I am not one to express my emotions or feelings with others. I feel vulnerable and fear people will see it as a weakness.

  “I mean,” I fall short on what to say exactly. If I say I love him she’ll just laugh in my face, telling me I haven’t known him long enough for that. She made a point to ask me my age when we met, she obviously thinks I’m naïve and young.

  She smiles and grabs two bottles of wine off the back wall. I lift a brow at her and watch as she throws one by one in the trash.

  Smirking, I fist a fifth of Jack and throw it in, the sound of glass breaking making me feel good.