What Might Kill Us

by M. N. Forgy

She laughs when Kane nearly face plants, the giggle in her voice making me laugh. I like seeing her relax some, she tries to act like us not finding Alvaro doesn’t bother her, but I know her better than she thinks. It fucks with her mind here and there. It has to because I’d be lying if I said it didn’t fuck with mine every time we come up empty on a location for him.

  The song changes to “I Hate You, I Love You,” by Gnash, and everyone climbs off the bar, resuming what they were doing before.

  “You having fun?” I ask, looking down at her.

  “I am,” she yells above the song. Her eyes smiling and cheeks glowing.

  London struts by me, but her eyes aren’t locked on me. She’s focused on Anahi as she climbs on the bar, a cold chill surfing through the club. Her makeup has run down her face and her eyes are puffy from what looks like crying. Jesus, this can’t be good.

  “Hey!” she yells, trying to get everyone’s attention. Anahi stirs next to me, and I instantly tense.

  The music is cut and London waves a paper around clearing her throat.

  “First of all, happy birthday Lip,” she claps, looking at him. Her cheerful demeanor contradicting the hot mess that she is. Lip raises a soda and looks the other way a little confused. “Second, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being on lock down, you?” Nobody answers, knowing it’s for the safety of this club. What is this bitch getting at?

  “Give it a rest, London,” I demand, raising a brow at her.

  “Everyone has grown so fond of Anahi.” The way she says Anahi’s name sounds like it’s poisonous and it pisses me off. “I just want to protect the man I love, not only him but this club too and that’s why I’ve gone to great lengths to find this information I’m about to share,” she continues, ignoring me. Anahi jumps forward at the word love and I have to grab Anahi by the arm to stop her from beating London’s ass off the bar.

  “Don’t let her under your skin,” I tell Anahi, but she just rips her arm from my grip and glares at me.

  “Anahi, isn’t our friend guys, in fact. She is the daughter of our enemy – Augustus.” London tosses the paper into the crowd and everyone starts to talk amongst themselves. A few hang-arounds look back at Anahi like she’s an outsider and not my old lady. My jaw clenches as Bobby looks the paper over and then hands it to me, his face grim.

  I straighten the paper out and look at it.

  It’s an obituary for Augustus’ funeral.

  Augustus Gomez, died at age forty-nine. Survivors include daughter Anahi Gomez, age eighteen…

  I stop reading right there, dropping the newspaper clipping to the floor.

  “Bull, I…” Anahi sobs, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably. Anger and disappointment throbbing through my head to the point I can’t even think straight.

  “That’s not all,” London continues and I wish for the life of me she’d shut the fuck up. Pushing through the crowd to pull her ass off the bar she steps out of my reach. “Bull got the traitor fucking pregnant!” London yells, before throwing a pregnancy stick at me. It hits me in the chest, before falling to the dirty floor.

  Everyone gasps, whispers of betrayal floating through the club. My ears warm and my stomach flips to the point I feel like I might be sick.

  Bending down I pick the test up that displays two pink lines. One is fainter than the other, telling me she’s not very far along but far enough to get a positive pregnancy test. I look at Anahi, her eyes welled with tears.

  “I was going to wait and look at it with you,” Anahi whimpers, her face stunned and pale.

  My chest burns, and fear and anger run amuck in my fucking head.

  “Bull let a monster into our house who now carries a bastard relative of the very person who turned this club on its axis!” London continues, working the crowd up.

  Everyone is looking at Anahi like she’s the fucking devil and I can’t do anything to protect her because I’m fucking stunned. Why didn’t she tell me who her father was? She heard us talk about Augustus, she had to have known. Hell, I even mentioned his name to her!

  I open my mouth to say something and before I can, she bolts, running from everyone’s critical stares.

  My head is reeling with every emotion known to man.

  She is Augustus’ fucking daughter.

  She is carrying my child.

  The two hold two very opposite feelings.

  “Are you going to go after her?” Dani asks, her face pinched in concern. I blink in confusion, not sure what to fucking do.

  The thought of Anahi getting knocked up didn’t bother me so much before, but now it’s a fucking reality that holds more than my heritage.

  Taking my eyes from the test I look at Dani. I missed her whole childhood, I know nothing about raising a kid. What if I’m a terrible dad? I’ll have nobody to blame but myself.

  My head is in a fog, the sound of everyone drowned out by my own reality. I suppress so much emotion when it comes to relationships because I’m scared of getting so deep with someone only to have them ripped from me.

  I love her.

  I was just scared to ever admit it.

  Dani shoves me in the arm, pissed off. “Are you!?” she bites out, her face turning red. That fire that Shadow sees in her rearing its ugly head

  Narrowing my brows, my fog slowly lifts bringing me back to the here and now.

  “Move,” I bark.

  I push past Dani, ignoring her temper tantrum. I need to find Anahi, I need answers but most of all I need her.

  Cherry busts through the front door before I can reach it. Her face etched in terror, her red hair sticking to her red lipstick. “Anahi left the gates and needs help!”

  Fisting the pregnancy test I jog out the doors to inspect what is going on. As soon as I step outside I hear Anahi screaming for her life on the other side of the gates.

  She left the gates by herself. FUCK!

  My body tingles and the breath in my lungs seizes to exist. Panic races through me from one end to the other as I sprint to the gates, my heart beating wildly at what I might see when I get there.

  “Anahi!” I call after her, needing to hear her voice.

  “Bull! Help!” she screams, her voice sounding like she’s struggling.

  Reaching the gates, a black truck starts its ignition and does a U-turn in the street, running over mailboxes and the curb before driving off like a bat out of hell.

  “Fuck!” I shake the gates in frustration, before turning around and heading toward the club.

  Kane races past me and slips between the gates, running to his truck parked by the curb before driving after them.

  I pull my phone out and call him. My hands shaking so bad I suddenly feel like I have two left hands as it takes me longer than it should to dial his number.

  “I’ll follow them, see where he’s taking her,” he answers the phone, knowing exactly why I’m calling.

  “Stay back and don’t let him see you. If he stops, take him out and get my woman back,” I demand before ending the call. My palms sweaty and pulse drumming in my neck, I feel like I may have a goddamn heart attack.

  I can’t lose her. I won’t survive losing another woman I love. I should have defended her instead of standing there like a fucking mute.

  Heels click behind me, females shouting is heard behind the club. Taking a step to the side to inspect what else it going on I find Dani and Cherry beating the shit out of London. The streetlight hitting something on Cherry’s hand just right. She flexes her fingers and that’s when I realize it’s brass knuckles. I turn my head, London did more than run my woman off. She went against me, and tried to turn my club against me.

  “What do we do? You want us to go after her?” Bobby asks, Shadow right behind them.

  I narrow my eyes at them; surprised everyone wants to go save her after hearing who she is.

  “Don’t look so surprised. How many of us wish we could have picked our parents?” Shadow sneers, crossing his arms. He hated his mother and s
he definitely put this club through a wringer with her drug addiction.

  “Yeah, it’s not like Anahi had anything to do with it. You don’t get to pick your DNA,” Lip adds, forcing me to remember how his own brother killed one of our own.

  Hearing my boys have my back feels good, but I ain’t got time for sentimental shit right now. I need to get my woman.

  “Let’s ride out and find Kane,” Bobby begins putting the plan in action. “He will lead us right to her and that crazy motherfucker.”

  “A murder on my birthday? You really shouldn’t have, how you going to top that next year?” Lip throws out, rubbing his palms against each other excitedly.

  The weight that is hanging over us tonight is the reaper standing by, waiting to drain the life out of corpses that lay cold and still before vanishing into a shadow that creeps through the night. I’m going to deliver the entire fucking Cartel of Mexico tonight, before jumping on my motorcycle and riding into the night.

  I’m about to show them exactly why we are called The Devil’s Dust.

  The truck veers to the left and right quickly, throwing me into the seat and door like a bouncy ball.

  “Let me out!” I scream, trying to pry the door open. It doesn’t open, and I start slapping the glass.

  Alvaro grips me by the hair, pulling me back into the seat.

  “Get off me!” I strike out, but miss his face.

  “Fuck you’re feisty,” he chuckles, pushing my wrists into the seat with his knee. “Give me the zip tie,” Alvaro holds his hand out to the driver.

  “Here boss,” the familiar voice says, before holding out his hand and looking over his shoulder. It’s Potzi, of course he would be the one to help Alvaro wrangle me in.

  “You’re fucking pathetic,” I snarl, as Alvaro ties my wrists together. “You’re so fucked, do you know that? Bull will—”

  Duct tape covers my mouth tightly, forcing me to breathe through my nose. My anxious state, paired with my harsh breathing is making me feel light headed with the limited air.

  Alvaro wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. The smell of spice and alcohol strong. I eye him, trying to control my fear.

  “Surprised to see me, hermana?” he whispers into my ear. I can’t help but whimper and try to pull away from him. “You didn’t think I was just going to let you go, did you?” I stare at him with wild eyes, wishing I could hurt him so badly.

  “So did they kick you out after figuring out who you were, or did you run on your own?” he asks seriously. My eyes widen, my cheeks flaring with anger.

  “That’s right, London I think it was. She was a great puppet.” His brows rise with pride and I want to vomit.

  He fucking gave that information to London somehow, and of course she would use it to get rid of me.

  He caresses my face before gripping my cheeks so hard I want to cry out. “You chose them over me. Why?” he breathes into my face. “I told you I was sorry for working so much and we could start over, but that wasn’t good enough for you, was it?” he sneers. “You tried to kill me in fact. You failed of course, and now it’s my turn to repay the favor.”

  I mumble against the tape, trying to reply.

  He grips the corner and rips it off my face. It instantly smarts and my eyes begin to water.

  “You don’t care about me, Alvaro. Just the idea that I am with someone else is what upsets you.” He nods, a tight lipped smile fitting his shadowed face.

  “Wrong!” he barks, making me jump.

  “You chose fucking gringos! That is the problem. You being a slut, that is the problem!” he argues, and I laugh.

  “Say what you want, you’re just fucking crazy.” I shake my head.

  “I’m crazy?” he asks, the question rhetorical. “It’s crazy to want to keep you to myself, to want to smell you whenever I want? To touch your skin whenever I fucking please?”

  He raises his left hand, a black gun palming it. He runs the barrel along my collarbone, his head tilting to the side. “Then this is going to sound psychotic, because I’m going to kill you before I ever let you leave me again.”

  I whimper, my eyes threatening to spill tears.

  “Plus, dear old Uncle Benito said you’re a liability now and what he says is prayer,” he leans closer to me, his tongue snaking out before sliding up my cheek. The warm, scratchy feeling making me yell out as I try and escape the contact.

  He laughs a malicious sound, before pulling me into him.

  “Hey, at least you’ll be with your parents now when I kill you,” he says cheerfully.

  Riding with my men we head out toward Arizona hours later. Small updates from Kane along the way isn’t enough. I need more. I’m nervous he is either taking her back to Texas, or worse… Mexico. If it’s the latter, we’ll have to intercept sooner rather than later because there is no way we will get across the border.

  My pocket vibrates and I fish out my phone, opening the lock screen it’s a text from Kane.

  They’ve stopped, sending GPS location. –K

  The location pulls up on my phone, and it’s literally in the middle of fucking nowhere. I can get there in a half hour if we fucking speed.

  With that, I speed up, passing Bobby and lead the way with only one thought in my mind.

  I’m coming Anahi.

  “Hey Uncle, I’m here, she is too. We’ll deal with her, then pass into Arizona for the drop. Understood, bye.” Alvaro hangs the phone up and points out the windshield.

  “Pull off up here, Benito said he’d meet us,” Alvaro informs Potzi who is driving us.

  “Ah, baby. Don’t cry, this is what needs to happen. You just weren’t cut out for this life and well, I’m going to end it.” A Joker smile crosses his face as he grabs one of my hands like he actually thinks he’s doing me a service in offing me.

  “The only thing I would be crying about, is not killing you sooner,” I growl, leaning forward so my threats brush against his face.

  He grips my chin harshly, and I wince, gritting my teeth in reaction to the discomfort.

  “Tough words for a little girl,” he brushes his lips against mine and I bite down on his making him holler out in pain right before he backhands me. The impact throws me into the door, my bottom lip burning viciously.

  “Fucking punta!” He shoves me for good measure, and I glare at him as if my eyes were throwing daggers into his soul.

  I swallow hard, my eyes stinging with the urge to cry. If Bull comes for me, then I know we were meant to be together. I know it wasn’t just a fairytale I was pretending to live in. If not, then I know my newfound family was just another one I didn’t belong in.

  “You know what…” He grabs my forearm and starts ripping my leather vest off my back.

  “Stop it!” I panic, trying to push him away. Reaching in his back pocket he whips out a sharp knife and I instantly freeze. He slices it right along the seams under each arm, on each side of the jacket and jerks it off me. Instantly my body cools, but rage fills my chest.

  “Give it back!” I demand, my voice cold. He holds the knife up and my nostrils flare. He grips me by the hair and my scalp stings from the hairs snapping. He climbs on me, pressing his knees into my ribs. The hard pressure burns across my chest and I can barely breathe.

  “Get off me!” I wheeze, trying to kick him, but he presses down harder. I elbow him in the face and he finally falls off me laughing. Sitting up, I situate myself in the seat and find Alvaro holding a chunk of my hair in his hand. He runs it under his nose, his eyes closed as he smells it. I gasp in disbelief, using both of my hands I feel at the ends of my hair.

  “A little something for me to remember you by after I slit your fucking throat,” his voice dips, hitting me in all the wrong places.

  Alvaro jerks open the door, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “Keep an eye on this bitch. I’m going to go take a piss and wait for Benito,” he informs, slamming the door, my cut up vest in his hands.

  Sitting up,
a tear falls down my cheek. That leather means more to me than I thought, and now I not only see but also understand why Bull was so irate with me the day I took his.

  I earned that cut; it’s a symbol of respect and love. And Alvaro just shredded it.

  I bounce my leg out of anxiousness, and my foot kicking something in the floorboard.

  My brows furrow in question and I bend over to inspect what it is.

  A tire patch kit that has been opened meets my sight. My eyes widening when they land on the T-handle tire puncture tool. It looks like a sharp screwdriver with a handle.

  I glance up at Potzi who is more consumed in a game of Candy Crush than what I’m doing. Using both my hands I lean over and fish out the tool, being careful not to make a sound as my hands are tied, that simple task proving to be anything but. Gripping it in my hand, my heart beats a mile a minute with what I’m about to do.

  Second guessing for a brief second, I almost drop the tool back down. But then it hits me, I am not just fighting for me anymore.

  I’m a mother, and this is me fighting for my unborn child. This is me fighting for my freedom and my family. I got a taste of happiness and if I want it back, I have to take it back.

  I lunge myself forward and puncture Potzi right in the neck. Blood sprays all over my face and chest, as I continue to maliciously stab him over and over again. The phone drops to the floor, the game saying “Juicy,” as he flops like a fish in the driver seat, gasping for air. His legs kick beneath him as blood continues to spurt from his neck and onto my hands.

  When he finally stops moving, I can barely breathe from the adrenaline rushing through me. A sob rushes past my lips and I place the back of my hand to my mouth to get ahold myself, my eyes catching Alvaro walking back towards us from taking a piss.

  I shove Potzi with all my strength into the passenger side and slide behind the wheel.

  Maneuvering my body so that I can use the gearshift, I put the truck into drive and stomp the accelerator to the floor.

  The truck jerks forward, the headlights bouncing along Alvaro’s body as we race toward him. A look of concern crosses his face right before the grill of the truck smacks into his body with a loud thud. The truck jostles back and forth as the tires run over his body, I can’t help the emotion that spills from me as I shift the truck into reverse and back over him again.