Operation One Night Stand

by Christine Hughes

  “Yeah. Be right back.”

  I padded to the living room and pulled a bottle of whiskey off the shelf. I grabbed two glasses and a bottle of water from the kitchen before heading back to the bedroom. Ryan was still lying on his back, his dick limp, though he had removed the condom. Truth be told, I was a little put out that the only orgasm I had came from a hundred-dollar pair of jeans.

  “Here.” I handed him a glass before unscrewing the top of the bottle. I poured him two fingers before swigging straight from the bottle. I winced and coughed and chased the drink with half a bottle of water.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “You keep asking me that.” I reached into my drawer and pulled out an oversize T-shirt.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Getting dressed.”

  “Why?”

  “Um…” I waved my arm toward his flaccid penis.

  “Oh this?” He sat up and downed the whiskey. “This isn’t done. This is a break.”

  “A break?” Holy shit. Steven never took a break. He pumped, dumped, and passed out. “I just thought—”

  “Thought what?” He stood and crossed the room, took the bottle of whiskey from my hand, and took a large gulp. Part of me was jealous because he didn’t choke on it. “You thought we were done? No. No. No. Did I make you come?”

  I shrugged. “It felt good.”

  “That’s not what I asked. Did I make you come?”

  “No.”

  “No. I didn’t. I intend to remedy that tonight. I intend to remedy that a few times.”

  My mouth dropped open and my skin tingled. Goose bumps covered me and I could feel myself grow wet at his words.

  “You are going to feel me here.” He kissed my mouth. “Here.” He reached around and grabbed my ass. “And here.” He dropped to his knees and darted his tongue out, barely flicking my clit.

  My knees gave out and he caught me before I fell. He handed me the bottle of water and stood.

  “Drink that water, Caroline. You’re going to need it.” Ryan chuckled and walked out of the room toward the bathroom. I tilted my head and watched his bare ass until it left my sight. I shivered and chugged the rest of my water, anticipating what he had in store for me the rest of the night.

  Chapter Five

  I shifted under the covers, slowly stretching my arms and pointing my toes until I thought they’d detach from my body. The soreness I was feeling lazily brought me back to a night of mind-blowing sex. My shoulders still ached from when Ryan pinned me to the wall. My hamstrings screamed and I remembered spending quite a bit of time with my legs up in the air. My hair was a rat’s nest of tangles covering the lump that had formed from banging my head on the nightstand. Falling off the bed during sex was not as graceful as it looked in the movies. My ass felt like it had been stretched in a torture machine. And to top it off? My bedroom smelled like a brothel.

  Ahh. The musky smell of sex.

  Last night was definitely not for the faint of heart and had it not been for the ridiculous confrontation with Steven at the bar, I may not have actually gone through with it. I was no longer a virgin to stranger sex.

  I opened my eyes, thankful I’d had the forethought to turn off the lights and keep the curtains closed. Rolling over, I reached for the glass of water I always kept by the bed.

  Looking up, I tilted my head slightly. What the hell is that? Attached to my slow-moving ceiling fan was my pink bra.

  At least the hanging bra signified something other than the relationship I had with sweatpants, movie channels, and ice cream since Steven and I broke up.

  “So, how’d it go?” Sarah startled me out of my reverie as she walked into my room carrying a huge mug of coffee and I pulled my blanket up to cover my boobs.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I rolled over, picked up my phone, and looked at the time. Five after twelve. “Told you I wouldn’t regret anything in the morning.”

  “That you did.” She made herself comfortable on the edge of my bed and handed me a tank top she found on the floor. “So, details?”

  I closed my eyes, remembering what there was to remember about Operation One Night Stand. “It was, uh, nice.”

  “Nice? There’s a broken lamp in the living room and the front door was left open. I thought we had been robbed. Until I found your torn shirt on the floor.” She held up the tattered blouse with her index finger. “I think there’s more to it than ‘nice.’”

  I smiled. It was more than nice. It was crazy. I leaned over my bed and picked up what was left of the new pink panties I’d bought specifically for the night.

  “Holy shit, Care! When you go all in—”

  “He went all in.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and squealed.

  “Nice!”

  “I didn’t know it could be like that! I had no idea there were so many different ways to bend. Honestly. Thank God for yoga.”

  “So you feel good?”

  “Yeah. Sore but,” I smiled before I pulled my knees up and winced. My hand flew to my crotch. “Ouch!” I couldn’t tell what hurt worse, my vagina or my ass. It didn’t matter. I needed the pain to go away.

  “What’s the matter?” Sarah jumped up. “Oh, fucking gross Care!”

  Sarah leaned down and picked up off the floor what should have been the most embarrassing clue as to what actually went on last night.

  “Seriously?” She turned the item over to read the label. “Lots O’Lube?”

  My best friend was holding up a white tube of Lots O’Lube, complete with a bright green shamrock next to the name.

  “Huh?” Instinctively, my sphincter tried to shrink back to its normal size.

  So that’s why my asshole feels like someone lit a match to it.

  “Ha! You little whore!” Her laugh echoed in the space.

  I squeezed my eyes tight in an attempt to control the throbbing. “I think I may have overdone it.”

  “You think?”

  “My vagina hurts.” I flopped to the fetal position, my hands cupping my very sore lady parts.

  “Just your vagina?” She cocked an eyebrow.

  “No. Not just my vagina. That skin between the vagina and the asshole. I feel like it ripped.”

  “Your taint?”

  “Do girls have taints?” I shook my head. “Who cares? I feel like I’ve been stretched to max capacity.”

  “That big, eh? I’ll get you some ice. Be right back.”

  I placed my coffee mug on the nightstand and flopped back onto my bed. Hugging my pillow to my chest, I closed my eyes. Every touch, tug, pull, kiss, and slap of the ass from the night before flooded my brain. My stomach fluttered at the thought of his mouth on me. Eating, tasting, sucking, licking, kissing. He was a sex god. And that made me a sex goddess. At least I felt like one last night. It was perfect, until…

  “Here you go.” Sarah tossed an ice pack at me and I not so discreetly wrapped it in the scraps of my tattered shirt and placed it on my crotch.

  “Better?” She shoved clothes off my chaise and leaned back.

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  “So,” she began, “now you’ve gotten that out of your system and you aren’t so anxious and all ‘Caroline’ about it, tell me, was it worth it?”

  “Absolutely. It was amazing. And his dick was huge. I mean, like, cucumber big. And his abs, oh my God! His abs! Physically, a perfect specimen.”

  “But?” Sarah knew me better than anyone.

  “But I think I messed up. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.”

  “Messed up? How? I thought it was a one nighter? Who cares if you don’t see him again?”

  “Well…”

  “Fess up, sister. What happened? Did you bite when you should have sucked?”

  “God no! Nothing like that! I sucked like a champ, if I do say so myself. It’s just that, well…” I took a breath. “Toward the end of all the crazy, uh—”

  “Fucking.” Leave it to Sarah to have the right word.
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  “Yeah, that. I sorta, kinda called him by the wrong name.”

  “You didn’t!” Her eyes popped out of her head, reminiscent of old-school cartoons.

  “Oh, honey! Well, you were with Steve a long time. God knows why, but it happens.”

  “It wasn’t Steven’s name.”

  Sarah sat up straight. “Well, then whose name did you use?”

  “Brian’s.”

  “Brian who?”

  “Brian from last night.”

  “Bartender Brian, Brian?”

  I nodded and took a long swallow of coffee.

  “What? How?” For once cool, calm, collected, say-it-like-it-is Sarah was at a loss for words. “Why?”

  “I don’t know! I mean, Ryan was on top of me, pumping like a machine, mind you, and all of a sudden my brain went to Brian. I mean, for a minute I didn’t think he noticed. Brian sounds a lot like Ryan, right?”

  “Right,” she said, obviously not following my excuse.

  “Well, I said it, he looked at me funny, we finished—”

  “Wait, you called out a different guy’s name and he still finished?”

  “Well, yeah. What else was he going to do? No sense in walking away from a sexcapade like that, right?”

  “Sure, sure. I regularly allow someone to get off after they call me Lucy or some shit. Go ahead.”

  “It wasn’t like that. I was totally in the moment. Totally into it. You owe me fifty bucks by the way.” I pointed at her. “I just had one little slip. Ryan whispered in my ear something like ‘I want you to have a screaming orgasm’ or something and poof! Brian was in my head.”

  “Wait, hold on. What the fuck does Brian have to do with a screaming orgasm? Other than the fact that he’s outrageously hot. And sexy.”

  “That’s the name of the drink he whispered in my ear. I am pretty sure that’s when he started flirting with me.”

  “Not for nothing, he wasn’t the only one flirting. Just saying.”

  “I wasn’t flirting! I was focused on the target! On Ryan!”

  “Yeah. So focused you called out Brian’s name.”

  “Shut up!” I threw a pillow at her and she ducked.

  “Go take a shower. We have to meet Mel for spin class then lunch.”

  “Spin class?” My body went rigid.

  “Yep. No pain no gain.” Sarah let out a huge laugh, the kind that calls you an idiot without voicing the words out loud.

  My stomach growled and I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday.

  “Sarah?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You think I fucked up my first one night stand?”

  “Far be it from me to judge. Seriously. I’ve had more than my fair share of one time romps. But”—she stood and walked to my door—“I have never gotten anyone’s name mixed up.”

  She laughed as the door closed and I threw another pillow, which bounced off the wall. Pouting, I slumped back onto my bed. Part of me was thrilled to have finally popped my cherry, so to speak, on the one-night-stand thing. But another was disappointed that it hadn’t been with Brian. Regardless of my feelings on the subject, I was a girl who’d just been banged to within an inch of her life and had the ice pack on her crotch to prove it.

  Chapter Six

  An hour later, Sarah and I met up with Mel in the lobby of the gym. I, of course, felt like I’d just spent a week riding stallions when, in fact, it had been only one night. Neither the ice pack nor the cluster of pain pills I took alleviated the strange throbbing sensation between my legs. Every step felt like a cross between round five of a boxing match with my labia, a pool of fire, and the prelude to an insane orgasm. Either way, the sensation was a bit disturbing.

  “Good morning, sunshine!” Melody sang a bit too loud for my taste. It may be half past one in the afternoon but I was still in no shape to be in public.

  “Take off your sunglasses. You look ridiculous. It’s overcast outside and you’re indoors.” Sarah yanked my sunglasses off my face and I winced.

  “What the fuck, Sarah!”

  “You are not the only person to ever drink too much. Own it. For one night, you were a drunken slut. No one can take that away from you!”

  “Let your freak flag fly, bitch!” Melody waved her arm above her head and swung her hips in a way that made me dizzy.

  “Leave me alone,” I growled, snatching my sunglasses back from Sarah and shoving them as close to my face as I could. “My vagina hurts.”

  “Ha! What?” Melody shrieked a little too loudly. “Pounded in the pussy, were we?”

  “Not just the pussy,” Sarah mumbled.

  “Yeah, shut it!” I took a long swig of my water. The bottle was already half empty and I wasn’t sure how I’d make it through an hour of Warden Suzy, our spin instructor.

  “Shut up! That’s hysterical!” Melody was finding my pain entirely too funny.

  “I am right here! You don’t need to mock me. For your information, it was amazing. He was—”

  “Hung like a horse.”

  “Sarah!” I punched her in the arm.

  “Oh, sorry. ‘Radiated cucumber big.’” She held her hands a foot apart to demonstrate the metaphor.

  “Ladies! Get your asses in here! This is spin class, not gossip hour!”

  We all rolled our eyes. Sounded like Warden Suzy was in a mood.

  “Get the fuck out of here!” Melody whispered. “I need all the deets. You’ll spill at lunch!”

  “As long as I don’t lose my appetite.” Sarah laughed as we entered the room.

  “Get on your bikes, ladies! We need to work the weekend off your asses! I can see some of you went a little overboard.” I swear to God, the warden was looking at me when she said that. “We will remove the aforementioned excess today. Now mount up.”

  In unison, twenty-two people in the room mounted their stationary bikes while I, the twenty-third, stood and stared at it.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Sarah whispered, her gaze half focused on me, the other half on Warden Suzy.

  “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “You’ve done this almost every Sunday for the past two years. You’re good. Get on before she notices and calls you out.”

  Whenever Warden Suzy called someone out, they were forced to spin next to her, facing the class. Thankfully, it had never happened to me, but I’d seen enough mortified faces to know I never wanted it to.

  “But my crotch hurts.”

  “Man up.”

  “Fine,” I whined as I settled the too-tiny bike seat between my legs. I honestly felt like I was sitting on jagged rocks. I could barely even bring myself to wear underwear and the bike shorts I was wearing did absolutely nothing to alleviate the pain. I shifted left before leaning right. Sliding forward then nudging back, there really was no comfortable way to sit on a bike seat. Of course, after the night I’d had, the odds at finding any comfort on any seat were stacked against me.

  Whether you are a man or a woman, spin class will bruise you in places you had no idea could be bruised. It is crotch torture. But once you see the transformation your body makes after a few classes, you’ll put up with the pain. And, to be fair, the pain really does lessen the more you ride.

  However, after last night’s festivities, I felt like a newbie again. Biting my lip, I focused on the music and Warden Suzy’s shouts about slaying the cellulite monster and shrinking our fat asses to drown out the pain.

  A bead of sweat formed at the base of my neck and slipped haphazardly down my back, absorbing into the fabric of my sports bra.

  With each pump of my legs, my grunting became more and more pronounced. Sarah and Melody, on either side of me, started to giggle. I scowled and continued on.

  My sports bra was completely soaked with sweat no longer confined to rogue beads of perspiration and each new drip slid down to my ass crack. I shifted to find some semblance of comfort.

  “Holy fucking hell!” I yelled out, much to the astonis
hment of nearly everyone in the class. Warden Suzy thought, of course, that I was in beast mode.

  “That’s right, Caroline! Ride through the pain! Ride, bitch, ride!”

  Sarah slumped in her seat, her head on the handlebars, her body vibrating from laughter.

  Melody joined in the warden’s chorus. “That’s right, bitch! Ride it like you own it!”

  Of course that did absolutely nothing to take the focus off me. Warden Suzy thought I was working the bike whereas Sarah, Melody, and I knew I was about to die from the aftermath of riding a giant cock all night.

  “See ladies! Do it like Caroline! Pump! Pump!” Warden Suzy was so into my grunts, she failed to see that I was in actual pain. “Feel it, ladies! Feel it inside you and ride that bitch until you own it!”

  It was too much for Melody; she actually fell off her bike. Thankfully, she was on the end and didn’t hit another spinner. I don’t think it would have mattered much—she was on the floor in the fetal position laughing above the din of the music. Sarah had just stopped spinning completely, lost in the words of our revered and feared instructor.

  “Fuck you,” I muttered under my breath.

  “Ride, Caroline! Pump!” She snorted.

  “All right, ladies! Melody get up! Time to take it harder!”

  Honestly, when did spin class become so perverted? Then again, like Melody always said, having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations more interesting. But this wasn’t interesting. It was torture.

  “We’re going to do up downs. On the count of three.”

  Oh, shit.

  “One!”

  Oh, shit.

  “Two!”

  Oh, shit.

  “Three! Uuuup!” Warden Suzy screamed until her voice broke. I forced my legs to hold me up and bit my lip.

  “Down!”

  I dropped to my seat. Oh my God. I’d never felt such pain.

  “Up!”

  I pushed myself up. My panties were actually crawling up inside me.

  “Down!”

  That was it. I joined Melody on the floor, holding my crotch like it was going to fall off if I let go.

  “Motherfucker!”

  A few classmates whipped their heads around to stare.