The Cowboy's Unexpected Love: Wade and Sierra (MacFarland Ranch Book 1)
Page 13
“What do you mean?”
“I mean. I’ll be back then, and I’ll have the kids with me. How would you feel about staying up there with them?”
“Why? Wouldn’t it be better to get them settled into their new life with me in San Francisco? I have everything ready. I got them clothes and toys and …”
“And you could have all that stuff sent to you right where you are.”
“You think it’d be dangerous for me to go back? Is that what you’re saying? But why? Since we’re obviously not going to get married, there’s no way he could get my money by killing me.” Her blood ran cold. “Is there? Why don’t you want me to go back, Dax?”
“Don’t be scared. I don’t know anything for sure yet. I just think we’re better off safe than sorry.”
She swallowed. “Or safe than dead?”
“Not going to happen, Sierra.”
“Then why are you so worried that you want me to stay here?”
“Because I can’t be around to keep an eye on you. After I drop the kids off, I’m going to be gone again for a little while. When I told Cash that, he suggested that you stay right where you are – on their ranch.”
Sierra’s heart hammered in her chest. “But I can’t just land myself on them.”
“You’re not. They’re happy to have you.”
Her mind was reeling. Part of her would love to stay here, to have the chance to be around Wade – and everyone else – for longer. But where would that leave things between the two of them? She had the feeling that Wade was only willing to let her stay with him, only wanted to sleep with her, because he knew that she’d be gone soon. And to be fair, she’d only been as honest as she had with him because she’d been looking at it as a now or never kind of deal.
“You still there?”
“Yes.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know, Dax.”
“Okay. I don’t want to make your decisions for you. How about you have a think and I’ll call you again tomorrow – same time.”
“Okay. Does that mean that you’re still someplace where I can’t call you?”
“Yes.”
“But Cash was able to get hold of you?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. He’s not on the teams anymore, but he’s a well-connected guy.”
“All right. I’ll think about it. But how long are you even thinking that I should stay here?”
“I wish I could say. I’d like to find Jared and get him taken care of before you go home. However long that takes.”
She sighed. “Which could be a week or a year, right?”
“I doubt it’d take a year.”
“No. But if we’re here long enough for the children to start school, then it’d be a year because I wouldn’t want to uproot them twice. And …”
“Sierra, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow at the same time and we’ll talk about the children. I want you to be sure about them, too. We can always …”
“No, Dax. You’re not going to pack them off somewhere else. Not unless you think that being with me would put them in danger somehow.”
“I don’t … if you stay there. But I really have to go.”
“Bye, Dax.”
He didn’t reply. He’d already cut the connection.
Sierra sighed. Stay here? What about her life? She made a face. Despite what people thought about the Hartford heiress, she didn’t really have much of a life. The social side of it had all been commandeered by Jared since she met him. Her work was fairly solitary. She spent most of her days in her studio painting. Her only friends … she frowned, her only friend. Apparently, Lori hadn’t been a friend after all. Amelia was the only one who would miss her. And Sierra would more than miss her. She couldn’t imagine not seeing Amelia every day.
She pulled her phone out to text her. It’d only been a few days and they’d spoken several times, but she missed her.
Sierra: Would you miss me if I didn’t come back for a while?
The three little dots that indicated her friend was replying appeared almost immediately.
Amelia: Of course! Why? Do they think you need to stay away?
I’ll come to you if you need me. And how long’s a while anyway?
Sierra smiled. That was a typical Amelia-type response.
Sierra: I don’t how long yet. Dax thinks I might be safer here.
If it were for a while, would you really want to come? I miss you already.
Amelia: Tell me when you want me, and I’ll be there! I can work from anywhere,
you know that. Want to talk instead of text?
Sierra: I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?
Amelia: Whenever you like.
Sierra: Thanks. Love you bunches!
Amelia: Right back at ya!
Sierra knew how lucky she was to have such a good friend. She was hardly a great friend herself, though, was she? She told Amelia that she’d talk to her tomorrow instead of now because Wade was due back any minute. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to know what he’d think about the possibility of her sticking around longer term.
Was it terrible that she wished that Dax had waited until tomorrow before he called? She had no doubts that she and Wade would have slept together. Now, it was a different proposition. It cast things in a different light for her, and it was only fair that she should tell him. She imagined that he’d reconsider, too.
She looked up when the cabin door opened. Her tummy flipped over at the sight of him. He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair and then smiled. She really did have to give him the chance to back out. But that smile made her want to know what it’d be like to be with him for something more than just a rebound fling.
She smiled back and went to meet him, leaning against him when he closed his arms around her. She must be crazy, but she could happily imagine this being her life. Welcoming him home at the end of the day. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against his chest. And that kind of thinking would no doubt freak the poor man out if he could hear it!
Chapter Twelve
Wade rested his cheek on top of Sierra’s head and held her against him. She felt so right. He closed his eyes and breathed in the pretty, flowery smell of her. Damn. He wished that he’d left the lodge before Ford showed up. He’d spent the afternoon looking forward to this evening – and tonight. She’d asked him if he was going to sleep with her. They’d agreed that tonight … But that was before.
Her arms tightened around his waist, and he realized that they’d been standing there for a long few moments, not talking, just holding each other. He hadn’t even said hello yet. A shiver ran through him when she nuzzled her cheek against his chest. He loved the way she did that. He wanted to know how it would feel when his chest was bare, when there we no clothes between them. His jeans started to get tighter in front. She was so close he knew she had to feel it. He should back away.
But she let out a little sigh and pressed closer, making his arms tighten around her. It’d be so damned easy to kiss her, to walk her back into the bedroom and give her what he knew she wanted. Easy? Yeah, no question about it. But right? That was a different matter. He gave her a squeeze and then stepped back.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
Her lips quivered when she smiled. He couldn’t help it; he lowered his head and brushed them with his own. Not a wise move. Her arms came up around his neck and pulled him down to her. What was supposed to be a brief touch of lips turned into a slow, deep exploration. He loved the way she kissed him. Her kisses were as shy as she was, at first. But as they progressed, she showed him trust, letting him in, opening up to him, and then she grew confident, kissing him back, seeking more. She was warm and soft in his arms. He got the feeling that if he let go, she might fall. She was depending on him to keep her upright. And while he used to get squirrelly at the thought of a woman depending on him for anything, it was different with Sierra. He loved the idea of her trusting him enough to lea
n on – in any and every sense.
By the time he lifted his head, he was hard, and she was making needy little noises that were almost enough to make him forget everything other than getting her into bed. Almost. But not quite.
She blew out a big sigh and her eyes flickered with emotion when they met his. She searched his face, and his heart clenched when the final emotion that settled on her face looked a lot like sadness.
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head with a small smile. “Nothing. It’s okay. I just … I wanted you to get so carried away that we just … you know?”
He chuckled. “Oh, believe me, I know, darlin’. And I almost did, but we need to talk.”
“You’re right, we do.” She frowned. “Although, what do you need to talk about?”
He held her gaze, wondering where to even start. How was he supposed to tell her that other people wanted to organize her life for her – and that as much as he disliked it, he knew they only wanted to do what was best for her? “Ford talked to our eldest brother Cash today.”
“Oh. Of course.”
He cocked an eyebrow.
She shrugged. “I talked to Dax today.” She sighed. “He thinks I should stay here.”
It made sense that this Dax guy would have spoken to her directly – that she’d already know about the suggestion – or was it really a plan? – that she should stay here for longer than she’d initially intended. What he wanted to know now was how she felt about it. “And what do you think?”
She shrugged. “Do you want a beer?”
He nodded and couldn’t help smiling when she took his hand and led him to the kitchen, where she got two bottles from the fridge. She scrabbled in the cutlery drawer for something. Wade popped the tops off the bottles while he waited.
“Oh.” She turned around at the sound and smiled. “I was looking for the opener.”
That made him laugh. He couldn’t think of anyone he knew who used an opener to pop a beer – not even the women. His smile faded when he realized that it was just another reminder of how different Sierra was from anyone he knew. He handed her a bottle and headed for the couch.
She followed and sat beside him, turning and bringing one knee up so that she faced him. He lifted his bottle to her, and she clinked hers against it.
“What are we drinking to?” she asked.
Wade didn’t even know. “Just celebrating that you’re here I guess.”
“Are you glad? That I’m here, I mean.”
He reached out and rested his free hand on her leg. “You can’t tell?” He smiled through pursed lips. “That kiss didn’t say it?”
She smiled. “It did. But that was just being in the moment. When you came in, I wanted to kiss you.” She dropped her gaze. “And more. And I know we kind of agreed that tonight there would be more, but … things are different now, aren’t they?” She peeked up at him from under her lashes.
His heart sank. She was right. He’d been thinking the same thing himself. If she was going to stick around for a while, then it was better if they didn’t go there. He nodded sadly but didn’t take his hand back. Instead, he brushed his thumb back and forth over her thigh. This wasn’t about him. It was about her. It was about keeping her safe. He’d been envisioning them enjoying a couple weeks together – enjoying each other for a couple weeks was more like it. But everything looked different with her sticking around for a while. He had to shift his focus back onto what she needed.
“Yeah.” He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. “I thought I could be the guy who helped set you back on your feet after everything that’s happened. I thought maybe we could make a few memories that’d take the sting out of this time for you.”
She rested her hand on top of his. “You’ve already done that.”
“Good to know.” He gave her a rueful smile. “Then I guess I shouldn’t feel so bad about not doing it the way I intended to.”
His gaze dropped to watch her breasts rise and fall as she sighed. “I haven’t decided for sure that I’m going to stay yet.”
That brought his gaze back up to meet hers. She chuckled. “I know it makes sense for me to not go home until things are resolved with Jared. Until he’s been found and … well, I don’t even know what’s going to happen with him. But the children are coming to a whole new life with me. I don’t want them to start a new life here and then have to move them to San Francisco after a few months or however long it takes.”
“That makes sense.”
Her gray eyes bored into his. “Do you want me to stay?”
He closed his eyes. That was a loaded question if ever there was one. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, Sierra. It seems to me like you have enough people in your life who do that.”
“I do. I always have. I’m not weak – at least, I don’t think so. I’ve just always been … I don’t know … like I’m the passenger along for the ride on someone else’s life.”
“When we first arrived here, when there were no rooms at the lodge and you thought that you were going to have to find somewhere else to stay, you told me you needed to get back in the driver’s seat. It seems to me that now might be the time to do that in your life.”
“I know. It is.”
“So, what do you want? Do you want to stay here, or do you want to go home?” His heart thundered in his chest. At the beginning of this conversation, he’d thought that he wanted her to go home, so that they could spend the next couple of weeks enjoying each other’s company – and bodies. But while he waited for her to respond, it hit him that he really didn’t want her to leave.
She gave him a sad smile. “I don’t have a straightforward answer to that. I think I’d like to stay here. I think it could do the children good to come here rather than to San Francisco.” She surprised him by pressing her lips against his. “But I know that if I’m going to be here for longer that I won’t get the chance … we won’t … you know. You were expecting me to be a quick fling who you could say goodbye to in a couple of weeks.”
His hand tightened around her thigh. The way she said it made it sound like he was just looking to get laid. “It’s not like that. I … you’re right. I thought maybe we could enjoy each other’s company for a little while and then that would be it. But only because you don’t need anything more than that. You’re not in a place where … you’re supposed to be on your honeymoon right now.” He gave her a rueful smile. “And I’m not …” He was going to say that he wasn’t looking for anything serious or long-term either, but the way his heart was still pounding made him wonder if that was true. “I’m not exactly the kind of guy you’d want for the long haul anyway.” That much he knew was true.
She brought her hands up to cup his face and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. “I know we come from different worlds, but you’re exactly the kind of guy I’d want. I just didn’t know that you existed before.”
He gave her a wry smile. She was too sweet, trying to make him feel better. He knew the score. She was out of his league and they both knew it. “So, where does it all leave us?”
She shrugged. “Dax said that I should think about it, and he’ll call back tomorrow – he didn’t want me to feel like everything was already decided for me. I think I probably should stay here.”
“But? It sounds like there’s a but coming.”
“There is. I think I should probably stay here, but if that means that we don’t get to … that you don’t want to. Then I’m seriously considering going home anyway. Just so that we can spend the next couple of weeks … like we thought we would.”
Damn! He hadn’t meant for her to have to go all the way out on a limb like that, but he was glad that she had. “Don’t go.” The words came out before he could stop them.
“Are you saying that you don’t want to –?”
“No. I do want to, more than you know. But I don’t want you to go home just to make it okay for us to go there.” His mind was racing. Sure, the circumstan
ces had changed, but the way he felt about her hadn’t. The more time he spent with her, the more he liked her.
“How about …” A little wrinkle furrowed her brow, and she rolled her lips together before she continued. “How about we carry on as we were? We thought we only had two weeks and we were both prepared to make the most of them. When it comes down to it, we still only have two weeks. After that, I’ll have to find a place to stay, and I’ll have the children. So, even if you wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to … spend time with you in the same way.”
She had a point. It made sense. Wade smiled. “You might be onto something there.”
She smiled back at him.
“What do you mean about needing to find a place to stay, though? I thought that the whole point of you staying is to be here – on the ranch.”
She frowned again. “I couldn’t ask you to let me stay here in your cabin for who knows how long.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.
“Especially not with two children.”
Ah. That was true.
She shrugged. “And your whole family has been so kind, but there’s no way I would stay at the big house. It wouldn’t be right, for your brothers or for the children.”
Wade nodded.
“Ideally, I’d like to find a rental. But I’m sure the vacation rentals will be all booked up – we’re heading into the summer after all. And I don’t know if there are such things as annual leases out here.”
“Annual?” The thought of her staying for a whole year had his heart rate picking up again. He just wasn’t sure why.
She nodded. “I imagine that’s what I’d have to look for. I doubt there’s anywhere that would let me rent month to month. It doesn’t make sense for the vacation homes to do that.”
Wade couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “I know a place you could have.”
“You do?”
“I do. I have a cabin that was supposed to be rented out for the whole summer, but they canceled at the last minute. It’s available for the next three months. And if you need it for longer, it doesn’t have any bookings for the fall yet anyway.”