Beg for Me

by Natalie Anderson

  He got out them out of the ballroom, into a small side room where he turned and pulled her into his arms.

  “What are you doing?” She laughed, spreading her hand on his chest. She could feel the heat of him through the cotton. “I was doing okay out there.”

  “You might have been, but I wasn’t.” He brushed her hair back so he could kiss her neck.

  She shivered at the heat of his mouth, the rush of kisses. Yeah, he was hot.

  “You look so good, I want to... When you look at me...” He shook his head. “I should have made you come before.”

  “Crazy man.” She lifted her hand to the side of his face. He was hot, looked so conflicted, something tugged hard in her chest. She gazed into his eyes. That damn beautiful blue. “You should have let me satisfy you.”

  His arms tightened around her. “Hell, Min.”

  Her heart thudded. His hands tightened, pulling her body flush against his. She felt the strain within him. The rigid length of his cock was only one sign of it. Instinctively she softened, leaning against him, letting him pull her as close as possible.

  She wanted to tease, to tell him that all he had to do was ask. But there was something too serious in his expression for her to joke about it. The way he was looking at her?

  Fear suddenly rushed. She couldn’t let herself think there was anything more to this pretense. “We’d b-b-better get... they’ll come looking... could be... disaster.”

  He hugged her tightly to him and groaned. “You’re right.” He drew back and looked at her again. “I knew I could count on you to make this much more fun than it was going to be.”

  Right. Yeah. Great.

  That was why she was here. For the fun. The game. A sexy, easy, not-at-all-serious game that was going to end very soon. It wasn’t real.

  “Go on.” She broke away from his embrace and pushed her hair behind her ears. “I’ll b-be there soon.”

  He looked at her. “Promise?”

  She waggled his flashy diamond at him. “Absolutely.”

  But it wasn’t that soon. She needed to give herself a pep talk first.

  Keep your head. Keep your heart.

  She didn’t need to start believing her own lie.

  She finally re-entered the ballroom, cast a quick glance about for Logan, but couldn’t immediately see him. But her mother spotted her and walked over.

  “Araminta, I’ve been looking for you.”

  “Sorry, mom. It’s been busy.”

  “Of course.” Her mom smiled but as she looked Min over, her eyes narrowed. “The dress is a good color on you, but it doesn’t fit as well as it should around your hips.”

  Oh. Good to know.

  “Logan’s speech was nice. He obviously knows about your little stutter, but you need to get it together. These people have high expectations. Next time you’ll be standing up there beside him and you don’t want to embarrass him.”

  Of course not. “I’ve no intention of embarrassing h-h-h-him.” Damn.

  Her mother cast a sharp glance at her. “Carry on like that and you’re going to fail.”

  Fail at what? Faking? Min squared her shoulders. She didn’t need her mom to exacerbate her vulnerabilities. “There was someone you wanted me to meet?”

  Her mother straightened. “Yes. His name is Keith. Be nice to him.”

  Sure she would be. She’d always tried. Because she’d wanted her mom to be happy. And she’d wanted to be happy herself. But couldn’t her mom could just try to be happy on her own for a while? “Where is he?”

  “Gone to fetch drinks, he shouldn’t be long.”

  “You think he’s the one, this time?” Min asked wearily. “Is he going to be faithful?”

  Her mother’s mouth closed. “Maybe you’d better get back to your fiancé.”

  Why? Because he was as much of a risk?

  If her mother only knew.

  Min reached forward and quickly pressed a kiss to her mom’s cheek. “I’ll bring Logan and come back and meet Keith. I’m sure he’s lovely.”

  Her mother didn’t answer.

  Min turned and scanned the room to find Logan. He was tall, but there were a lot of tall men in tuxedos here. She spotted Connor talking with Hunter. Chelsea and Xander talking to Rocco. No sign of Dani. Or Logan.

  She walked deeper into the crowd. Where had Logan gotten to?

  She noticed the people parting slightly for her as she walked forward. They were aware of her but polite enough not to openly stare. Even so, her self-consciousness increased. She lifted her hand, flashing the ring. Kind of grateful for it’s ostentatiousness. It helped her fit in here.

  Because she wasn’t quite good enough. Her mom had that right.

  And for Logan? She was nothing more than a diversion. A fun relief for the weekend.

  As doubts circled, insecurity mocked.

  She didn’t want to be his plaything just because she was at hand. And she didn’t want to be a second rate lover—after the women he usually had? She didn’t want him to laugh for all the wrong reasons.

  Finally she spotted him. He stood in the far corner, talking with a woman.

  Of course he was.

  Logan had his back to Min, but she could see the emotional expression in the woman’s eyes. It looked like they were having a personal conversation.

  Of course they were.

  Min hesitated for a moment, then pushed forward. She wasn’t letting this happen.

  “What are you even doing here?” Logan was asking the brunette. And he was harsh with it.

  Oh there was so history here. Min’s throat tightened. But she was not being publicly humiliated like this. Not now. Not by him.

  Rage flared. She was more jealous than when she’d watched his sex clip. She took the final two paces forward to stand by his side and wound her arm through his.

  Staking her claim. Marking her territory. Call it whatever, but it was about the only weaponry she had. Because words? Right now they’d fail her.

  She stared at the other woman.

  “Oh, hello,” the brunette said, not answering Logan’s question when she saw Min. “You’re Min. The fiancée.”

  Min didn’t answer. She actually couldn’t. But she kept on staring.

  Logan didn’t bother to say anything either. Min’s throat constricted.

  “I’m Cynthia.” The brunette offered a smile.

  Min blinked.

  “I worked with...” Clearly awkward, Cynthia broke off.

  “Cynthia used to work with my father,” Logan said crisply. “But she no longer does.”

  A flash of color in the background caught Min’s eye. Behind Cynthia, Logan’s mom was watching them. Was she eavesdropping? Concerned there was about to be a catfight?

  She needn’t worry, Min wasn’t going to say a word.

  “Okay, well. I’d better get going.” Cynthia’s face turned crimson. “It was...”

  Cynthia didn’t bother to finish the sentence and Min didn’t even try to say goodbye.

  But she looked at Logan.

  He was watching the woman leave. “I never thought she’d show up.”

  He was so obviously bothered. Did the playboy have a heart after all? He’d been hurt? He was too angry not to have had deep feelings for that woman at some point. He probably still had those feelings.

  The little bubble that had been growing in Min’s heart burst. She was such a fool.

  He turned towards her, but Min had had enough. She removed her hold on him and stepped back.

  “Logan, I wanted to thank you—”

  Min took advantage of yet another guest coming up to talk to Logan, to escape.

  She really needed to escape.

  “Min.” Elaine suddenly stepped in front of her. “I’d really like you to meet a friend of mine.”

  Min had no choice but to pause. All she wanted to do was escape. There was a lump like hot coal burning—blocking—her throat. And her eyes were stinging. She so couldn’t cry. She blinked a
nd looked at the middle-aged couple standing beside Logan’s mom.

  “Hello.” She tried to smile. “It’s l-l-l-l-l—” She broke off. She couldn’t even manage the much-practiced platitudes. She tried to speak again, only no sound emerged. She stood, straining, silent, her head nodding uncontrollably, her mouth open as she fought to say something. Anything. But no words came. No sound at all.

  It took too long to stop herself and snap her mouth shut. Her skin sizzled, like she’d been dumped in a furnace. She couldn’t say a word. Totally seized. The worse block she’d had in ages. Here in public. In front of Logan’s family. In front of all their important connections. She had to get away.

  Elaine shot her a look. “Did you want a moment, Min?”

  A moment for what—to bury herself? To go away and pull herself together? She wanted more than a moment. And Logan’s mom wanted her to have it too—wanted her gone. Because she was making a fool of herself, and his family.

  Carry on like that and you’re going to fail.

  Thanks for the advice, Mom. But she already had.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  #Lose

  “Min?”

  No way, he’d followed her?

  “What happened?” He caught up to her as she ran through the tunnel, grabbed hold of her arm and drew her to a halt. “I saw you...” he trailed off awkwardly

  He’d seen? Oh her humiliation was complete.

  Min tugged her elbow free. Her throat was so tight. And she was so tired. She couldn’t bear facing him. Why had she thought she could pull this stupid party off? Why had she thought she could get away with any of this? Why had he made her?

  “I d-d-don’t want to do this anymore,” she whispered, looking down at the thickly carpeted floor.

  “That’s okay, we’ve put in a long enough appearance, thank heaven.” He sounded harried. “We can go upstairs.”

  “No,” she said in a low voice. “I d-don’t want to do this.”

  He lifted his hand to her face.

  She jerked back. “D-d-don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me.”

  She was so not the person for him and he was definitely not the guy for her.

  “Min?” He looked at her intently with those ice-blue eyes. “Babe?” He stepped closer, smiled. “I know that was—”

  “No.” He didn’t know what that was. That was the whole point.

  “Sweetheart—”

  “Don’t.” She knew that look. Did he really think he could just pull out some flirt talk and make it all better?

  “But Min,” he said softly, settling his hands on her waist. “I’m getting addicted to it.”

  “To w-w-what?”

  “You.” He pushed her back against the wall. “To feeling your warmth when you lean into me, to tasting your heat... the way you hold me, the way you eat me with your eyes when you look at me. You’re so hot. You warm me up.”

  He was pushing for it now, wasn’t he? He wanted sex. Wanted warming. That’s all he wanted. “Because you’re a zombie?”

  He stiffened.

  “Because the only time you feel human is when you’re having sex?” she asked. Her eyes stung.

  She refused to feel bad for him. She’d just totally humiliated herself. And she was furious with him for bringing her here for his own amusement, for putting her in a situation she’d normally do anything to avoid, for making it worse with her mother present. And his friends. His ex-lover.

  “Min.”

  “Just l-l-l... Go.” Leave her alone to lick her wounds in private.

  “What happened? What’d I do wrong?” He glared at her.

  “How can you not know? I hated that,” she whispered. “All those people looking at me. I’m supposed to talk to all of them? You’re so selfish. This was all about you not wanting to be here. Well, I didn’t want to be here either. You’re using me to distract yourself like I’m your on-board entertainment system. Like screwing ‘round with me is your anaesthetic to stop you from feeling... whatever it is that’s the real p-p-problem here. But I don’t want to p-p-play anymore.”

  Because the second she’d turned her back, he’d gone hunting elsewhere. Because for him this was absolutely not real. And for all his promise that he wouldn’t embarrass her, he couldn’t help himself. He’d admitted he’d cheated before and she knew—once a cheater, always a cheater.

  It was dé-jà vu. Bryce had cheated on her—she’d found him at a party with another woman. She’d seen her mother get cheated on. And she wasn’t putting up with it for herself. Not again. She wasn’t having her heart broken all over again.

  And she could never, ever be the freaking princess at a party, there to smile and talk to everyone.

  He dropped his hands from her waist, only to brace them on the wall either side of her head, penning her in. “You don’t want me to touch you anymore?”

  “No.”

  His eyes narrowed, she could almost feel him drilling into her skull, trying to read what was going on in her head.

  “No,” she repeated.

  Slowly he lifted away. “Fine. Message received. I won’t bother you again.”

  She didn’t reply, just watched as he stepped away.

  “What a great end to a fucked up night,” he muttered.

  Yeah, he’d wanted another end altogether, hadn’t he? He’d wanted to use her. And maybe, a couple hours ago, she’d have gone along with that—and enjoyed it.

  But not now. She’d had the wake up call just in time. Remembered just what it was she didn’t want in her life.

  He walked five paces away, then turned and shot her a burning look. “I’m gonna go blow off some steam. Don’t wait up.”

  Logan strode out of the hell that had been his childhood home. No happy memories had been made tonight that was for freaking sure.

  He’d known it was gonna be a nightmare. Only now it had ended worse than he could have imagined. His father standing there sucking up all the attention like he deserved it. His mother frigidly putting up with all kinds of crap—that Cynthia had the gall to show up?

  The only light in the whole evening had been Min, and now she’d pushed him away?

  He’d thought she was coping okay. That she was enjoying it even. He’d gotten Chelsea to keep an eye on her when he’d been tied up with the formal family bit. He’d hoped she’d see she had nothing to worry about, that she should get out there and enjoy life—and people.

  Enjoy being with him.

  Turned out it had all been under sufferance. She’d hated it and she blamed him. And it was his fault, right? It always was. His recklessness, his risk.

  The spark in him that always sought to win. And yeah, maybe to escape. Maybe he’d wanted her to be there—for the fun.

  “Where are you going?”

  Logan froze at that harsh question. He turned to face his father.

  “Wasn’t much of a speech.” Rex stood in the doorway like some cantankerous feudal lord.

  “Wasn’t much to say,” Logan answered.

  “You wasted your talent.”

  Seriously? This was the first time they’d spoken alone in years, and he was just going to re-litigate old dramas?

  “You could have been so much better.” That old disappointment sounded.

  Logan looked at the tall man for whom nothing was ever enough. “So could you.”

  He turned and walked into the freezing, dark night. The bitter wind was lifting, damp cold seeped into his tux. The storm that had been forecast wasn’t far away. He ought to go back inside. But to have the wind whistling in his ears was exactly what he felt like right now. Space, fresh air, time out. That always put things into perspective, right? He was burning on the inside, he needed to chill. He needed to push it.

  Because he wasn’t staying where he wasn’t wanted.

  Don’t wait up?

  What, like she was going to just drift off into sweet-dream land when she was still a hot mess of mortification? She glanced at her phone. Again. No messages. It was
ninety minutes since he’d left her. He’d obviously gone back to the party. That was totally fine. It was his family, his show.

  And she didn’t want to see him anyway.

  But two hours later, she started to worry. Another hour passed. She paced the floor of their bedroom, listening to the howling wind. That storm had raced in, even with the stone exterior, insulated walls and double glazed windows, the whistling was inescapable.

  He must have gone to sleep in another room. Jealousy, insecurity seeped in through her vulnerable cracks. Surely he wasn’t reckless enough to go with another woman the night his ‘engagement’ was celebrated?

  But then this was Logan Hughes.

  But he wouldn’t have, would he?

  Doubts raced in her head. Her imagination fed worst-case scenarios to her, followed by even worse case.

  Yet another hour later, she opened her door and leaned out, listening for party sounds over that lashing wind. There were none. Maybe the festivities were over?

  So where was Logan?

  Doubts expanded, enlarged, doom-infested. He hadn’t gone out in that storm, had he?

  At six in the morning, she couldn’t handle it anymore. She grabbed her phone. They had to work out some kind of plan for the next few hours. She couldn’t go downstairs not knowing where he was. Surely even he’d understand that. Wouldn’t he want them to present a united front for the last few hours before they left Summerhill?

  Then they could do the big public break-up back in Manhattan.

  But the call went straight to his answer phone. So did the next call.

  And the next.

  Min showered, trying to warm up. Despite Logan’s high-heat setting for the room, she was freezing. She dressed, checked her phone again.

  No messages. No Logan.

  She couldn’t hide in the bedroom all day. He’d be back before they were due to fly out this afternoon, right? He wanted to get out of here more than anything, didn’t he?

  An hour later, she knew she was going to have to go downstairs. Have to fake it at the breakfast table.

  She’d be irate, if she weren’t really starting to worry.

  Her hands like ice, she quietly went down to the dining room. Dani and Connor were there, both looking far too bright-eyed.