Beg for Me
Page 30
“You’re kidding.”
“She’s not. She’s going to be on the first plane I can get her to.” Logan paused. “Actually, the first plane you can get her to.”
“You want me to escort her?”
“Yeah, you okay with that?”
“What about Hunter?”
Logan frowned, it wasn’t like Rocco not to help out. Just as Logan never failed to step up if Rocco ever asked. “He’s gone off somewhere. I think Chelsea told him something about that coffee-cart queen before she and Xander went to Mexico.”
“Oh. Right.”
Logan glanced at his phone for a second to make sure it was still working. Why had Rocco gone so quiet? “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, Roc. It’s just...” he trailed off. He didn’t want to put his relationship with Min into words.
“Yeah I get it. It’s fine. I’ll meet you at your apartment. See you there soon.”
Logan stared at his phone again, but Rocco had rung off already.
He glanced up at his building. He needed to get Dani out of there. He needed to work things out with Min.
He felt like he was standing at the top of a mountain, about to make the run of his life, but he was unsure if the powder was as perfect as it appeared, or if it hid a crevasse—that if he started on the downhill, he might slip through a crack. And fall.
The day, so far, had sucked. Min had tried to talk to Dani—but the other woman had shut her down on the conversation front, hiding out in that bedroom. And truth?
Min wasn’t in the mood for trying to help someone else find her happy place. She was struggling with her own.
He loved... this?
For a few moments, she’d deluded herself that there might be something more to them. That along with the hot sex, there was laughter and connection and a liking.
But it was just the hot sex.
Sure, she’d never thought she’d have a man jonesing for her the way he did. Until last night, she’d thought she could revel in it for as long as it lasted. Because it wouldn’t last. After the heady days of lust, it died out eventually, right? Logan was such a sensual person he’d soon find another partner to stoke those flames to the roaring temperature he liked.
But she?
She’d hurt.
She hurt now.
Hadn’t she been the one to say right at the start that sex was different for her? That it meant more than it probably should, more than he’d ever intend. And even though she’d known—gone into it eyes wide open—that for him this was only about igniting that chemistry, she’d let it come to mean more.
Because it wasn’t the sex. It was him. The joker, the tease, the wild one... but also that loyal, gentle, protective side he kept hidden from most of the world.
He might have been seen naked by millions, but he bared his soul to almost no one. She’d seen the beauty of his soul.
And yeah, when Logan touched her, the rest of the world ceased to exist. She’d always thought that was a cliché, a fantasy that Hollywood movie moguls pedalled. But it really happened. When he kissed her, that was all that mattered. She was utterly engaged, being with him was all she wanted.
Which was insane. Because what he loved, was this. Just sex.
How horribly ironic—when she’d thought she could teach him some kind of lesson? In restraint? Take him down? How arrogantly naïve she’d been.
She stared at the computer screen, still on the main page of her social media manager. She’d barely managed a thing today. Deserved to lose all her clients.
Ugh. Pull it together.
She was going to have to save her business, and get her ass out of here as soon as possible. Resolutely she started typing.
Only then her phone rang. Min glanced at the screen, her throat doing its usual little spasm at the ring tone. Every single time it happened that way—even though for so long, she’d had it so controlled. But it was always in the back of her mind.
The caller was her mom. And she couldn’t ignore it. She’d only ring back. Better to get it over with.
“Araminta, it was good to see you at the weekend.” Her mom was practically purring. “You managed the occasion very well.”
Seriously? Her mom had no idea.
“Uh, thanks, it was n-n-nice to see you t-too,” she said.
“You’ll have seen these pictures? They turned out nicely too.”
“What p-p-pictures?” Min’s hands became clammy.
“Of the party. There’s a lovely spread in that Profile magazine.”
In the gossip mags? Online too? Min quickly searched.
“You’ll have to come and visit me soon,” her mom said.
“Mom, I can’t c-come for a while.” Min watched the screen load.
“Of course you can, we’ll need to start planning the wedding.”
The picture of them on that blue carpet appeared. She looked nervous, he looked as edible and as self-assured as ever. So not a match.
“For heaven’s sake mother, the engagement isn’t even r-real.” She couldn’t stand deluding her mom any longer. Her mom did that to herself too often as it was. “It’s a b-b-business arrangement lasting a few weeks to promote Logan’s public profile.”
“What?”
“It’s not real,” Min said slowly. “It’s a f-fake engagement.”
Because she’d screwed up his stupid social media feed. Because he’d been bored and didn’t want to go to his horror home alone. Because he’d seen her as a sexual challenge.
“But you’re engaged. You have that beautiful ring. You had that big party... there were all those people there...”
Yeah, there had been. Too bad.
“So you’re going to break it off?” Her mom’s anger mounted. “This is so humiliating, Araminta. How could you do this to me?”
“B-better to b-b-break it off than go through with something that’s never going to be right.”
It was never going to work.
“But—”
“But nothing.” Min lashed out, her current hurt coalescing with the pain of her teen years. “I’m n-n-not dragging any child of mine through the heartache of crappy divorce after crappy divorce. I’m not f-following your path, m-m-mom. Having to get used to new step-sisters and brothers... only for it all to end again a couple years later? Then start again? It’s never, ever happening.” Min drew in a shuddering breath. “I don’t want your life, mom. And I d-d-don’t want Logan that way.”
She wasn’t settling for second best. She’d rather be without altogether.
“You’re a fool,” her mother snapped. “An idealistic—”
“No, Mom. I’m realistic. Do you honestly think a man like Logan Hughes would stay f-faithful to m-m-me? Of course I’m not m-marrying him.”
And he damn well didn’t want her to anyway. She wasn’t the perfect kind of bride he’d need, she couldn’t maintain the appearances that seemed so damn vital in his family.
“But Min—”
But nothing. “S-s-s-orry, mom. We’ll talk some other—” She just rang off.
Not doing it anymore.
She stared at the picture she’d pulled up on the computer screen. The one taken of her and Logan after they’d landed at Summerhill. She was laughing up at him, he was smiling at her in that wicked way.
So much fun. So not forever.
She covered her eyes with her hands. The image burned her worse than the explicit scenes from his sex-tape had.
It burned her heart.
“Min?”
She looked up with a start.
Logan stood just inside the door. His eyes were the coldest, palest blue she’d ever seen them. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice clipped.
She nodded, unable to speak that second. How long had he been home? She hadn’t heard him come in. He’d only just arrived, right?
“Good.” He glanced away from her. “I need to talk to Dani.”
“She’s b-been in her room most of the day,” Min said softly.
Min sat stiffly in her chair as he thudded the few paces down the hall to Dani’s room. She heard the harsh, repeated rap of his knuckles on the door.
“Dani?”
“Yeah?”
Min heard the door open.
“Dani?” Logan’s voice reverberated through the walls. “What are you playing at? You’re on some kind of holiday?”
Min clung to the armrests of the chair. She didn’t want to listen in, though it was impossible given both Logan and Dani were talking loudly.
Min turned cold, then hot, then cold again as pure discomfort trickled through her veins.
Okay, Dani was now shouting. Min didn’t blame her given the way Logan had gone in all guns blazing. He hadn’t given his sister a chance to talk.
Adrenalin fired through her system. She was still trying to calm down from her own fight, because she’d never lost it with her mom like that. And now seeing Logan again for the first time since his ‘love this’ comment last night? He’d looked hard—and not in a good way. Hard and remote and cool. Now hearing him tear into his sister?
It wasn’t the Logan she thought she knew.
“Modeling?” Logan’s voice went through the roof.
Then Min heard him laugh. It wasn’t a nice laugh.
“Oh for fuck’s sake...” Logan snarled.
“What’s going on?”
Min turned, surprised as Rocco walked in looking unusually pale. But before she could answer him, the Dani and Logan show really exploded.
“You can’t live here. You’re at college,” Logan scolded. “It’s an expensive college and you’re a really bright girl—” His voice lowered. “Dani, you’re...”
Licking her lips, Min shrugged her shoulders. “I thought you gave him the key back?” she whispered to Rocco.
Rocco grimly stared at the wall, as if he thought he could see through it through the hall to the bedroom beyond. “He left the door ajar. He must’ve had his mind on other things.”
“Yeah.” Min jerked her head.
Dani and Logan’s raised voices could still clearly be heard.
“I don’t think it’s g-going so well,” she whispered.
She glanced back to the computer, embarrassed that they were witness to this. Her stomach churned. Rocco stood silent.
“You’re acting like a child. You’re spoilt, selfish child, Dani. You’re not fucking throwing your life away on a stupid whim.” Logan had really lost it now.
Min couldn’t actually make out what it was Dani then screamed back at him, but she saw Rocco’s hands fist.
“You think we should interrupt?” she asked.
Rocco had already walked to the door. But before he could get out of it, they heard footsteps racing. The slam of the front door.
Rocco went out into the hallway.
“She’s run away. Again. Fuck.” Logan turned back to face them, his expression twisted. “I can’t do this—”
“I’ll go after her.” Rocco strode past him.
Logan bent his head. “Good idea. She hates me this second.”
As Rocco opened the front door. Logan called out again.
“Rocco, here.”
Rocco turned and Logan tossed a slim silver phone at him.
“She left this. Had it on the charger, but not turned on. Battery’s flat. And she has no money, Dad cancelled her cards.”
“What?”
“Call Connor, he’ll explain.” Logan ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks.”
Rocco left without another word.
Logan ran his hand through his hair again, wishing he could rub away the killer pounding he had going on inside his head. Jeez, it hurt.
Hell on freaking wheels.
He knew he shouldn’t have stopped to listen to Min’s call, should have let her know he was there. But he’d soon figured it was her mom on the line and he’d wanted to see how she’d coped with her. Because at heart Min was a pleaser, and it distressed her that she couldn’t do and be all that her mother expected. That’s why she’d run away. Why she liked to live alone. Because she didn’t think she could live up to all those dumb expectations.
She didn’t have to. And she shouldn’t be alone. She should be open and warm the way she’d been with him—and with his friends.
But listening in, he’d gotten far more of an insight than he’d expected. Or wanted.
Now he knew just something of how awful she must have felt when she’d heard her ex and his mates laughing at her. Now he knew how horrendous it was to hear the person you cared about, deny your relationship.
Rejection. It was a killer.
What had her life been like? He knew her father had died when she was young, that her mom had then gone from one marriage to the next. There’d been step-fathers, step-siblings and Min had been too quiet, lacking in confidence to cope with all that influx and pressure. She didn’t want that carousel of heartbreak for her future, or her future children.
Logan wasn’t the guy a girl settled with. He’d been told that before, right?
He was the wild fling, the hot ride. The bit of danger. Not that he was that much danger really. That he’d be unfaithful?
Yeah, he could see why she’d doubt him. He’d told her the truth of his past. Almost all of it.
But that didn’t mean it was the truth of him now, right? Couldn’t he have changed?
His heart shrivelled, trying to pull back from the threat. But there was no escaping the reality that she didn’t want him. Didn’t trust him. Didn’t believe in him.
Sure she liked screwing him. Women did, right? That was the thing he did real good. Only it hadn’t been good with Min. It had been intense and frustrating and fun. And so many things he couldn’t bear to think about. He’d never poured so much of himself into a lover—never gotten as close. Not just sex.
But he wasn’t the man for Min. She knew it. He knew it.
He’d fucked up so many times in his life. Hell, he’d just fucked up with his sister. It was only a matter of time before he fucked things up with Min too.
So the best thing he could do, was to let her go now. Before he hurt her. Before she left him.
Before it hurt more.
He turned. She stood in the hallway, watching him, a concerned look in her eyes.
“Your father c-cancelled her cards?” she asked.
Whose cards? He totally blanked. Then remembered. His sister. His poor, desperate sister.
“My father’s a prick,” he said. Feeling uncomfortably like one too.
“But to leave her without m-m-money?” Min looked shocked.
“He’s ruthless,” Logan said baldly. “And unforgiving.”
His father had never forgiven him for making the choice to walk away from the slopes, the competition. Never forgiven him for not being the champion son he’d tried to rear. He’d never forgive Dani if she left for good either.
Logan’s heart ached.
Unforgiving. The word echoed round Min’s confused mind. She licked her dry lips, wanting to talk more. But Logan looked so closed off.
“She seemed pretty upset...” she tried.
“Rocco will catch her.”
Like she was a troublesome pet who needed to be taken back to the pound?
“You’re not g-going after her?”
He pressed his lips together, then looked down. “I’m not the best person to talk to her at the moment.”
“No,” Min agreed, anger bubbling. “You weren’t talking to her.”
His head jerked up. “Meaning?”
“You were too hard on her. You shouted at her from the second you got here.” She frowned at him, shaking her head. Because she felt sorry for both his sister and him. “You have these crazy high standards.”
He laughed roughly. “You think?”
“Yes,” she said. “You�
��re a perfectionist.”
“Me?” He pointed at his heart. “So not.”
Yes. He was.
“What have you done that’s so b-b-bad, really?” she asked. “So you’ve slept with a few women. You’ve partied. That’s hardly illegal.” She was starting to get really angry, because the guy was standing there like some kind of stone.
“I screwed my team-mate’s girlfriend.”
“I didn’t say you were perfect. I said you were a perfectionist. And your father isn’t the only one who’s unforgiving. You are. You don’t forgive others. And you don’t forgive yourself.”
He blinked. “Where is this coming from? Because I was trying to be a good brother to my childish sister?”
“She’s not a child. She came to you b-because she thought she could count on you. But—”
“I’m not going to stand back and let her throw her life away. My lifestyle is not for her. She can do so much better.”
“Did you explain that to her?” Min waited. “You b-b-barely gave her a chance to talk. You didn’t listen. Didn’t communicate.” She sighed. “You know, you want me to huff and puff and sigh in all my p-p-pleasure, but you don’t communicate at all. Not really. You just decide and don’t discuss. Not about anything important. You’re the one who g-goes mute.”
Like he was now.
He folded his arms across his chest. Glared at her. “What did you want me to discuss?”
What was going on with them? What the ‘this’ was that he’d said he loved? No. He’d gone so cold. The fallen angel looked ruthless.
“You’re so all or nothing, aren’t you?” Her own hurt spilled, loosening her tongue so she lashed out. “Skiing, not skiing. Never returning to Summerhill—”
“I was told never to return. He’s the one who said—”
“But he’s the one who said to come b-back?”
Maybe his father had wanted to talk to him? But Logan hadn’t given him the chance. Logan had taken Min and used her to avoid any confrontation with his father.
And he’d do it to her too. Cut her from his life, once this lust was satisfied.
“That was for the show the other night,” Logan said harshly. “Only for the photos. It didn’t mean anything.”
Just as she’d been with him only for the photos. Just as she didn’t mean anything.