Just Jayne

by Ripley Proserpina

  “We do,” Lee said. “But you were meant for us. It’s our decision to recognize it.”

  “And do something about it,” Klaus said. “We want you to marry us.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “You’re not serious.”

  “We are,” Diego said. He drew his eyebrows together and frowned. “It’s not a joke. We love you and we want you to spend your life with us.”

  “And which one of you am I supposed to marry?” I asked. This had to be a joke. Or a whim. “I’m supposed to marry you. I can’t marry all of you. It’s not even legal.”

  “We want to marry you,” Ten said.

  I held out my hand. “Give me your phone,” I said.

  He looked at his friends, confused, but handed it over. “Why?”

  I did a quick internet search and turned it around. “It’s illegal in the UK to marry more than one person. And if you’re up for some jail time, it looks like we could do seven years for bigamy.”

  “Only one of us can marry you legally,” Lee said. “But we can tie you to us in every other way. All of our lives are entwined.”

  The guys nodded. “We live together. We share bank accounts.”

  “Which the lawyers hate,” Ten added. “We make them crazy, but it’s our decision.”

  “Bands break up all the time,” I said. “What makes you different?”

  “We’re each other’s family,” Diego said. “More so than our parents or siblings. I love my mom and dad, don’t get me wrong, but with my friends… they’re closer than brothers. No one understands me like they do.”

  “It just happened,” Klaus said. “I’m not like Diego.” He sat on a bench and leaned back. The airplane hit some turbulence, and it shook. Ten steadied me. Klaus reached for me, and I let him drag me onto his lap.

  Shell-shocked, I leaned against him. He rubbed his big hand over my back in comforting circles. “I didn’t have a happy family like his. My mother and father were gone, doing their own things, or high. I was angry at the world. Then I met Ten. The only other man who is angrier than I am.”

  “Getting better,” Ten said. He gave me a half-smile and lifted one shoulder. “I’m trying, but I’m quick to snap. We’re not so different, you and me, Jayne. I grew up in boarding schools. On holidays, I went with friends rather than come home to a huge, empty estate. I wasn’t beaten, but I wasn’t loved. And no one gave a shit about me. My parents didn’t care what I did as long as I didn’t bother them. Or embarrass them.”

  “You’re good at embarrassing them.” Klaus chuckled.

  “True,” Ten answered.

  Lee cleared his throat and sat across from me. He drove his hand into his hair, pulling the black strands away from his face. “Did you know I was a musical prodigy?” he asked. “I started playing the piano the same time I learned to walk.”

  I didn’t know that. “I didn’t even know you played the piano.”

  “I don’t,” he said. “I haven’t touched it since I was sixteen years old and put my foot down. I’d performed all my life, but it wasn’t until I met Ten that I actually liked to play.”

  “You met at school?” I asked.

  “I didn’t go to school,” Lee said. “I had tutors. I met Ten when he was busking in the tube.”

  “And the rest is history.” Ten smiled at his friend like it was the happiest memory he had.

  “It’s not that simple,” Lee replied. “Or pretty. Ten was living on the streets. I was performing every night and dying inside. One day I walked off the tube, heard Ten, and quit that night. I haven’t spoken to my family since that happened. It took a while to untangle my money from theirs, but eventually I did, and by then I was ready to play again. Or to try.”

  “Jayne?” Sophie called. I whirled around to go to her, but Diego stopped me.

  “Hold on.” He disappeared behind the curtain and came back a second later. “She needed a new movie, but she’s good now.”

  “She’s my responsibility,” I said.

  “She’s our responsibility,” Diego corrected. “Mine, Ten’s, Lee’s, and Klaus’s. But I love that you take care of her. It’s another reason I love you.”

  “Do you know how long it’s been since someone said they loved me?” I asked. They threw that word around like it was easy to say. “I was fourteen years old, and my best friend, Elena, and I would say it before we went to sleep. So…” I took a breath. “It means something to me.”

  “We mean it,” Klaus said. “You think I heard that word?” He kissed my cheek and hugged me closer. “My mother said it when we were being photographed. My father never said it, but he grew up with an abusive asshole of a father, so that’s probably why. But I know what I feel, Jayne. I love you and I want you to be my wife. Whatever that looks like.”

  “Legal or illegal,” I clarified.

  “Does it have to be legal for us to be a family?” Klaus asked. “If we’re committing ourselves to you in all the ways we legally can, does it matter if your name is on a marriage certificate with mine or Ten’s? Or Diego’s or Lee’s? We will all call ourselves your husband. And we will all call your our wife.”

  “But it doesn’t matter if you don’t love us,” Ten said. “If you don’t want us, then say it.”

  Not want them? I’d never felt as safe and cared for as I did with them. They set my body on fire, and they challenged me. And they needed me.

  I wasn’t too proud to say I wanted to be needed.

  Did I love them, though?

  For most of my life, love was something in stories. I loved my best friend, but we were children and we were trying to survive. Perhaps my parents loved me, and maybe my uncle, but I didn’t remember.

  Love, for me, was something that wasn’t reciprocated.

  Did I love them?

  I stared at each one of their beautiful faces. “Yes,” I said. “It’s too soon, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I love you. And if you want me to marry you, I will. Whatever that looks like.”

  “You will?” Klaus asked.

  I nodded, and he picked me up, whirling me in a circle as best he could in the plane. “I love you, too.” He kissed me, thrusting his tongue past my lips while he held me pressed against him.

  Someone tore me from him and then Diego had me in his arms. “I love you, Diego. Whatever you need, I’ll give to you,” I said.

  “I just need you,” he replied quietly.

  “Then kiss me,” I whispered.

  He did just as I asked, growling quietly and rubbing his smooth cheek against mine. I cupped his jaw to feel the way it moved.

  “My turn,” Ten said. Was this how it would work? Would they pass me between each of them? Would they get jealous?

  But Ten didn’t look jealous, he looked aroused. His face was flushed, and he grabbed me by the back of the neck, pulling me into his arms. His lips were hard against mine, demanding. I was his as much as I was theirs, and he was claiming me.

  Lee was last. Ever patient, he let Ten have me until he pulled away, breathless. “I love you, Jayne,” he said. “You’ll be my wife.” Not a question.

  “I will,” I replied.

  He glanced at his friends before kissing each side of my mouth. He traced my lips with his tongue and then softly, so softly, pushed inside me. His hands moved down my back, gripping my ass and rocking me toward him. Just like that, I forgot about everything except him and me.

  But the plane hit turbulence and it shook me aware.

  “This is going to be fast,” he said, pushing my hair out of my face. He kissed me again and glanced at his friends. “You’ll be our wife by the end of the week, got it?”

  I smiled. They loved me, and they wanted me to be their wife. This was real. They loved me. Me. I could hardly believe it.

  37

  Jayne

  When the plane touched down in Leeds, it was like California never happened. All the stress and tension the guys had carried disappeared. Sophie was her normal, happy self, and when Die
go told her that I’d agreed to be part of their family and marry them, she screamed so loud, we winced.

  Guilt settled in my chest at Diego’s announcement. What did that mean to Sophie, to know that I was going to be with all of the guys? I knew she didn’t understand sex at her age, but what happened when she began to ask questions about why I wasn’t just with Diego?

  I was quiet on the drive to the manor, and nervous. My life was going to change, and though I had no doubt about my feelings for the guys, the uniqueness of what I was embarking on was a tad overwhelming.

  The car slowed at the first guard booth. “Welcome home,” the man said.

  Lee waved and we pulled through. The car hadn’t stopped before the front door opened and Mrs. Foster came outside. “Hello!”

  Sophie pushed open her door and ran into Mrs. Foster’s waiting arms. “Jayne is going to be part of our family!” she yelled.

  Mrs. Foster froze, her eyes widened and her face paled. “Is she?” She looked at me for confirmation, and I nodded.

  “Congratulations,” she said and held out her hand to shake. The formality and stiffness of her posture wasn’t lost on me. She didn’t approve.

  While I had expected her to be surprised, we were after all, committing ourselves after only knowing each other a short time, she seemed more than shocked. She seemed… unhappy about it.

  The guys didn’t notice. They hugged her, grabbed my hand, and dragged me inside. It was morning here, since we’d traveled west to east, going forward eight hours from LA to London. And I was exhausted.

  For a short time, after I’d returned to my seat, I’d slept next to Sophie, but it hadn’t been restful. I’d dreamed horrible dreams that I couldn’t remember, but that left me with a sense of dread.

  I glanced up at the house before we walked inside. This was my home now. From the corner of my eye, a beam of sunlight reflected off one of the panes of glass. It was from the south wing and the floors above my room.

  “Jayne?” Klaus kissed my cheek. “I don’t suppose you feel like a nap?” From the gleam in his eyes, I could tell he had more in mind than a nap, but it sounded perfect.

  Suddenly shy, I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “I didn’t sleep on the plane.”

  “Who has Soph?” he called out, pulling me toward the house.

  “Me,” Diego said. “She’s going to help me with some wedding planning.”

  The little girl squealed and giggled. Klaus shut the door behind him and then swept me into his arms. “Klaus!” I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

  “Remember how you said I must have great endurance?”

  I didn’t remember that. “Oh! With drumming.”

  “I’m going to show you another kind of endurance,” he whispered and took the stairs two at a time. Considering he held me in his arms, it was an impressive gesture.

  He brought me down the hallway and into his room. It was bigger than mine, like it was two or three rooms made into one. He had a drum set in the center. Next to huge floor to ceiling windows, was his bed.

  Everything in the room was dark. Dark furniture, dark red drapes, dark bedding. It was the perfect Klaus room.

  I stepped away from him when he put me down, anticipation building in my stomach. I wished I was sexier, maybe blessed with an hourglass figure that could rock a corset, but the thought left me as soon as I met his eyes.

  “Damn, baby,” he whispered. He began peeling off his shirt, revealing the defined muscles of his arms and chest. “It’s a good thing you didn’t look at me like this on the plane. I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from taking you. And our first time together shouldn’t be in a bathroom.”

  I laughed and fiddled with the buttons of my shirt. He was so confident, standing there with his pants unbuttoned and his shirt off.

  Taking a deep breath, I unbuttoned my shirt. He watched me, gaze as hot as the heat building between my legs. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

  He trailed his hand along his chest, down to the bulge in his pants, and rubbed himself. “Hurry up and take that off.”

  Slowly, I peeled the shirt off my shoulders.

  He stalked toward me just as it fell from my wrists and then he swept me into his arms. He lifted me up until he could reach my breasts. His mouth was warm and wet through my bra. He moved from one breast to the other, drawing hard against the cotton. I arched in his arms, desperate for more. Harder.

  Moaning, I pushed my fingers through his short blond hair. He hadn’t shaved and his stubble burned me as he moved his face from my breast to my neck. When he was finished with me, I’d be marked.

  He dropped me on the bed, and I bounced. I barely had time to right myself before he flipped me over onto my stomach and yanked my pants down my legs. “I feel like I should get down on my knees and thank some deity for you.”

  I glanced at him over my shoulder and shivered. It wouldn’t take much for me to come; he had me ready to go. He pulled off his jeans, kicked them off his feet, and placed on knee on the bed. His erection was pointed toward me, begging for my mouth, and I turned, putting my ass in the air so I could swallow him down.

  “Fuck.” He leaned forward, dragging his hands up and down my back. Each brush forward drove him deeper into my mouth, and I sucked hard, swirling my tongue around his tip when he retreated.

  “Not like this,” he said. The world spun again, and I found myself on my back, with Klaus between my raised knees. He gave me a long, deliberate lick, and my body shook. I sucked in air, willing myself not to climax before he was inside me.

  Without thinking, I brought my hands to my breasts, squeezing them as he continued to swirl his tongue around my clit. “Klaus.”

  “I’m going to ride you,” he said and pushed his throbbing dick inside me. I threw my head back with a moan and dug my nails into his back. “Hard.”

  He drove into me fast, and I ground on him, swiveling my hips in rhythm with his pumps. It didn’t take me long. A few thrusts and I was done, clenching down around his cock as my entire body exploded.

  We locked gazes, and I wrapped my arms around him. He gritted his teeth, the muscles in his neck standing out as he spasmed inside me.

  “Oh God,” I cried out and came again.

  My body trembled, and I held him tight. He pulled out of me slowly, but wrapped me in his arms and dragged a blanket over us. “Get some sleep,” he told me. “Because I’m not done with you. In a few hours, I’m going to wake you up with my tongue in your pussy so you can come with my name on your lips. And then I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

  Holy shit. Holy holy shit. But then he softened. He took my hand and entwined our fingers before lifting it to his lips to kiss.

  “I love you, Jayne, and when we’re done tonight, you’ll never—not for one second—doubt it.”

  “Jayne is a girl who lies.”

  I stood in the middle of the auditorium at Gatesdale School. Dr. Moore was wearing a cleric’s collar and held a Bible. The scene of my dream shifted. Dr. Moore was still with me, but we were no longer at Gatesdale. There were no cinderblock walls or hard plastic cafeteria-style tables.

  We were in the manor. I stood in front of the beautiful fireplace, the one where all of the band’s records and awards were displayed.

  Across from me, Lee stood and stared at me, a deep frown on his face. “Why would you lie to us, Jayne?” he asked.

  Behind me, people gasped and whispered, and I glanced over my shoulder. There was Mrs. Foster in the front row, glaring at me. Sophie sat next to her, crying.

  Marisol and Daniel. Warner. Blanca.

  Aunt Augusta. Cierra. Georgie. My cousin Gregory was even here, arms crossed and wearing the smirk that had haunted me for years. “I told you she makes shit up. I never touched the bitch. She’ll ruin your lives,” he called. “Just like she tried to ruin mine.”

  “I can’t do this,” Lee said. “I
don’t love you.”

  “Lee wait!” I reached for the sleeve of his tuxedo as he turned away from me, but my feet were stuck to the ground. Dropping the bouquet I was holding, I yelled for him. “Lee!”

  The other guys had stood next to him, all in matching tuxedos. They passed by me, one by one, all with heart-broken expressions on their faces.

  “Why would you do this?” Diego asked.

  Tennyson merely shook his head, like to speak to me wasn’t worth his time.

  Klaus stopped. “Did you really think we loved you? You? Plain, boring Jayne? Good thing we learned just who you were before we made a huge mistake.”

  “It’s not a mistake, Klaus, I love you!” I cried.

  He laughed, a cruel bitter laugh. It was as if he stabbed me. My legs wobbled and I fell to the ground.

  But no one cared. The house emptied until there was only me, watching Klaus walk out the door, his body a dark shadow against the bright sun.

  “Klaus!” I sobbed. “Klaus!”

  Gasping awake, I sat straight up in bed. In the cool, dark bedroom, my breathing was loud and labored. Next to me, however, Klaus slept on, undisturbed.

  My stomach roiled, and I pushed back the covers to jump out of bed. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. The dream left a film of discomfort and guilt all over me.

  It was as if my cousin’s words, Dr. Moore’s words, and what everyone had always thought of me had followed me out of the nightmare.

  “You didn’t lie,” I whispered to myself. “They know everything. They love you. They said so.”

  As soon as I told myself that, I heard Klaus’s voice in my head. Mistake.

  I stood and turned on the faucet, cupping my hands beneath the stream to splash cold water on my face. What if the dream is right?

  I stared at my pale face as I wiped away the water with a hand towel. Maybe sensible and logical, words I’d always ascribed to myself, were just another way to say boring. And sensible, logical Jayne knew that love didn’t happen this quickly. Nor did it happen between four beautiful, famous men, like the ones of Rochester’s Pathos, and me.