by A M Russell
Someone is knocking at the bedroom door. I groan and rollover onto my side again. I just want to scream; and shout “Go Away!” when I recognise Davey’s voice. I let him in.
We sit down on my bed looking at each other cautiously.
‘Do you want some tea?’ he says.
‘Drink or eat?’
‘Drink… then eat.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘It will be here in five minutes. It’s Sam. I know you won’t have a go at him, will you?’
‘No.’
‘Oliver has arrived at the pub. He’s staying there. And Alex is coming tomorrow with all our kit.’
‘Alex?’ I feel a little perkier, ‘The boatman?’
‘Yeah! Alex. Thank the Lord for some good things.’
‘Sorry.’ I say.
‘What for?’
‘For being difficult.’
‘I’ve met you when you are being really difficult. This isn’t it.’ Davey smiles encouragingly.
‘Oh….’ I try not to think of that fight.
‘You can practice on me again if you like,’ Davey is light and still cheery, ‘Jules has been teaching me a few moves.’
‘Judo?’
‘Umm…something like that. He’s a very good teacher.’
‘Will he come with us?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Davey gets up as someone taps on the door.
Sam hands him two mugs, and quickly disappears again.
‘Why didn’t he stay?’ I ask.
‘They are all talking about you, ‘Davey replies, ‘I think it’s more interesting to gossip than to find out facts.’
‘What are they saying?’
‘I think Morel and Sam have begun to like each other.’
‘They both agree on something?’ I venture.
‘Yes. How nuts you are!’ Davey laughed, ‘I’m kidding!’
‘That’s ok…. It is true.’
‘About the gossip?’
‘No. About me being nuts.’ I’m trying to be jokey but it’s killing me, because Davey is my friend and he is the closest thing to a brother I will ever have.
‘You’re ok.’ says Davey.
‘I really am not actually….’ I smile almost, ‘I want to get away as soon as possible.’
‘We can get going in two days. Is that okay?’
‘Thanks… that’s good news.’
‘Set your mind at rest?’
‘It helps just knowing.’ I hold the mug in both hands, ‘good tea.’
‘Marcia made it,’ Davey is cautious again.
‘Okay.’
‘Is she coming on our new expedition?’
‘Of course. She’s the most reliable team member there is. And actually has the Team Leader’s seniority.’
‘That’s your job.’
‘I don’t know about that…’
‘Marcia won’t take that from you. She told me that.’
‘She did?’ I feel a little better, and drink a little more tea.
‘She also said that she would like to come and see you when you’re feeling a bit…err, more yourself…’
‘I’m okay now.’ I say lightly.
‘I’ll tell her that then; when I go downstairs?’
‘If you like.’
‘What shall I say?’
‘Tell her…. tell her.’ I look at him feeling frozen, ‘What should I say?’
‘ “Sorry” might be a good place to start.’ Davey is getting a little more defensive. I start to crinkle up again.
‘Please stop…’ I whisper then.
Davey gets up and leaves quietly. I stare at the empty cup. A while later I click on the bed side lamp. No one comes to the room.
*****
Five
‘Do you have the oxygen bottles?’ asked Marcia.
‘Right here dear Lady.’ Alex bounded towards us, ‘I also bring sandwiches, and coffee.’ He handed them over and turned to me; ‘You seem better than when I last saw you.’
‘I guess.’ I wasn’t quite sure how to take Alex. A cross between Tigger, and a squirrel on caffeine. He slapped me on the back. I stumbled forward.
‘Steady on there!’ he pulled me upright again, ‘sorry, I forgot about the shoulder.’
‘It’s fine.’ I said.
‘You look better,’ Alex was suddenly serious, looking at me intently, ‘I didn’t say great. And this time if you get in to trouble again; I suppose Davey will have to enlist my help once more with style and attitude. Now what else do we need to get ready?’
‘Would you get George to call everyone,’ said Marcia, ‘we need the hardware.’
‘Alright,’ said Alex, ‘but do you think it really necessary to carry so many knives?’
‘Absolutely.’ said Marcia strapping on the thigh sheath.
‘Righto then,’ Alex stepped forward, paused, half turned to me and said rather weirdly, ‘we all expect trouble; and you are next in line for it.’
‘What?’
‘Davey is really freaked out about something. And his girlfriend has already made an improper suggestion to me this morning.’
I haven’t a clue what’s going on. So I wait until Marcia goes through to the other tent.
‘Tell me.’ I say.
Alex perches on a stool and picks up a nearby clipboard, ‘You think this is all necessary? There has got to be a simpler solution than just taking the bait.’
‘I’m open to ideas.’ I watch him carefully. He doesn’t react in a way that is easy to read.
‘You are really, totally fucked up,’ Alex says, ‘so I suppose there must be a woman involved?’
'Are you going to tell everyone that?'
'Of course not! If Davey wants to go on an adventure with a bunch of nutcases, I'm all in favour of it!' Alex stares at me hard, 'I guess I'm trying to get you pegged so I know how much being annoyed you can handle.'
'Err...'
'That's alright. I'll go easy on you until you are fully initiated. Shouldn't take longer than six months. You're already part way there!'
'I bear that in mind Alex.' I'm smiling in spite of myself, and take the cup of coffee he passes to me.
'Nice suits you kids wear. ``````````````If I was going on an expedition?'
'I think so. But they are all made to measure.'
'You must get me the name of your tailor.' Alex and I both laughed; I swigged more coffee.
‘Just a minute,’ I say backtracking with sudden realisation, ‘you meant Janey? She said something to you?’
‘Yes,’ Alex frowns then, ‘the blonde chick. Small and delicious. I thought I couldn’t be shocked.’
‘What did she say?’
‘I think I’d rather not say. But it did involve something deviant and sexual in nature. I am quite open-minded, but I think Davey may be making a big mistake by hooking up with that sexy little fireball.’
‘That…. little fireball is my sister!’ I tried to sound bossy, but it came out as a slightly choked croak.
‘You are strongly advised by Uncle Alex to handle this situation with extreme caution.’ He stood up, and prodded me in the chest, ‘I’m on your side Chief. By reason of Davey being so devoted to you and all that. I’ve yet to fully understand why that is....no offence!’
‘None taken.’
‘Good Man.’ He grinned at me, ‘now where do you want them all to gather for the ritualised leave taking?’
‘Near the Icelandic.’
‘That reminds me of a girl I used to know…’ Alex smirks.
‘So why haven’t you got someone?’ I’m genuinely curious.
‘I have already met the perfect woman,’ Alex goes all dreamy, ‘I saw her…and it was Love at first sight!’
‘Wow!’
‘Yes…. she’s one of Davey’s old friends. I want him to introduce us. But he says he doesn’t have her number.’
I’m trying to work out who he’s talking about, but Alex saves me the trouble.
‘Yes; she is g
orgeous, and blonde, and not too short. And looks great in the rain. My kind of outdoor girl.’
‘Really?’ I sit down, this is all getting a bit much.
‘She was in Davey’s back garden…can you believe that?’
‘His back garden?’
‘Yes. He was just about to go back and find you. The mad bat! I think it must be worth it considering the turnout. I mean look at them all.’ Alex pulls back the tent flap.
I see a gathering I never thought to see. They were all there…. All the original team even Nikolas; Aiden, Ellen and Kay; Dieter, George, Sam and Kyle; then Violette was there standing near Jules; and my family gathered around the smallest transport vehicle we had been able to “borrow”. Karis, Leo and Laura turned towards me; then in a ripple of silence they all stopped talking, and faced me. Alex prodded me in the back. I moved forward reluctantly, facing all those pairs of eyes. Silence, and waiting for someone to speak. Leo caught my eye and nodded a fraction. I wasn’t comfortable with this at all; but they seemed so expectant, so much in need of some encouragement.
‘Thank you…. for being here,’ I say. I can feel that darkness swirling in some other room in my mind. I force the door shut, and focus on my parents.
‘Thanks for believing we can do this…. we are all part of this line of consequence. And I know you all wanted to be part of what we are doing here. Please accept my…. apologies; we must keep the team small. Sorry… but know this; everyone who wants to stop the Bank Collective from controlling our destiny is valued beyond anything else. We are here not to make history…. but to save it. And I….’ here I felt my throat constrict, ‘….am glad that everyone has come willingly. Sam will read the roll now.’ I stepped back and bowed my head, partly to block out the faces of all these friends. I couldn’t bear it. But they came towards me in ones and twos, with a word or a touch on my shoulder or (in Ellen’s case) a tight hug.
Lastly my father stepped forward. He turned to the rest of them, his arm around my shoulders.
‘Will you listen to me?’ he said softly. They all turned to him.
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘It is time. We have nothing to fight for except our friends. And by that we have infinitely more. I have seen it…. the sky ablaze and all the world’s history poisoned. I know what this man…this Rimmington; this Mr Alexander can do. There are many parallels…so many worlds that could be valued and saved. But we can save only one. Our own….’
They all were still for a moment then began to go about their business. There are final checks to do.
‘We’ll go in.’ Marcia touches my hand and smiles as she passes me, and Laura follows her with a glance at Leo, saying something with her eyes to him.
In the pools of soft light, we stood as evening falls so quietly today, with no breath of wind. And there is a little time before we will be called inside. He turned to me then, and placed his hands on my shoulders as before; and softly, so softly said to me; ‘Jared; my son. Remember….’
I was then in a dream so vivid I thought it was real: I was standing in a dark place, and I saw the sky ablaze. I saw dark shapes searing through the twilight. I saw the sunrise and there was smoke. There were many falling from the sky. They burned the grass. And as the sunlight crossed the landscape I saw many dead and dying. I was in the middle of a war zone. And I was terribly afraid. The sound was dreadful. And the smell of burning seared my lungs. But then in the sunrise I saw a glinting and a bright light, brighter than the sun itself. And in the sound of battle I heard another sound. At that moment a solider stumbled towards me, his eyes round with pain or fear; I didn’t know which. Just in front of me there was a swirling of violet light and a circle of rippling waves flowing on the surface of everything. I could not see it clearly. Because there were knives of light springing towards me like spears. “Child! Run!” the soldier ran past me and into the forest behind. But I could not move, rooted to the spot sheer terror. There were people in the clouds…. silvery people spinning and dodging beings of black and red that smoked with trailing ribbons of oily blackness. I had the sense to drop to the ground, as two of these combatants fell from the sky to within 20 feet of me. They were fighting with swords dodging this way and that churning up the ground and sweeping with arcs of ringing metal that scrapped and clanged so loud. And then there was a mighty roar of a voice. It was calling them in. Suddenly they began to fall like leaves around me; the dark people rushing for the door way in space; trying to escape. I heard another voice “Hold! Do not follow…. Hold now!”. The silvery people appeared to chase them all until they were forced to run through the door way. I looked again. It began to close. There were two or three stragglers racing on drunken wings of smoke and coals to escape through. I ducked as the two who were fighting circled round each other again. The door way was getting smaller and smaller. The silver people had seen me; and were pointing across the gap between the trees. They came forward building a circle around the two who were fighting. I heard the sound of rushing water…. like voices but I could not work out the words. They were trying to talk to me. They circled round tighter and tighter. Quite suddenly the swirling doorway shrank to the size of a dinner plate then popped out of existence. The sun rose over the tree tops. The silvery soldier’s wing tips brushed my face; the one fighting the dark creature. He glanced towards me. And at that moment the dark thing plunged his sword into the silver man who had fought him. He dropped to his knees… in his last breath he said: “my sisters, my brothers…. look to the child!”
He lay still on the grass, and brightness surrounded him. And then in a blaze of pure gold his essence dissolved. The others, looking beaten up from the battle, surrounded the dark man in an unbroken circle. I was inside the circle also. The silvery people were edging closer. They were nearly touching me. Their intention I supposed to move so that their ring of bodies was between me and the dark one. But this one had other plans. He came towards me speaking softly. He looked then less like a terrible soldier with a black sword and more like an old man with a crooked stick. I heard another voice. But I did not understand what he was saying…one of the silver men stepped into the circle. But this was actually a woman…a beautiful angel, with a ragged arm bloodied from the fight. “Leave the circle.” she said to me. But I was terrified and my legs were like jelly. The dark man was doddering towards me…. He spoke too, it sounded odd but I could understand; “they are trying to kill me! I’m out numbered; I’m afraid…. That was self-defence!” he bent towards me. Then at a rush two of the silver people tried to grab him….
All of a sudden he ran towards me, and disappeared. I was sat on the grass then; and everything went muffled as if the sound had been switched off; like putting your head underwater. I bent forward nauseated and crying with pain and fright. The silver girl bent near me. “This boy is a traveller.’ she said. The others were putting away their swords. “Don’t frighten him.” said another.
“How did you get here?” the silvery girl asked me. I looked up at her. She was pretty with blue eyes and wavy long hair that was tied with red rope away from her face.
Don’t tell her anything… the voice inside said. I just stared. There was a sound and suddenly I heard running feet. All these people were alert and looking about. The moment she turned I scrambled away and ran as hard as I could into the forest, in the same direction as the soldier. There were dead people in the forest, and blood stained the ground. I just ran until my lungs felt they would burst. At last I collapsed into a grassy hollow and waited, and prayed. For the longest time nothing happened. I was thirsty and crawled out of the hollow and down a little banking to a small stream. I drank and drank. Then crawled back into the bushes and hid.
Well done….
“Who’s there” I said out loud. But now the forest had fallen into silence. Not a sound, no breath of wind. It was eerie and lonely. Then I felt sick. I was about to crawl back to the river again; but was afflicted with a terrible purging vomit. I retched until there was nothing left. I covered the mess w
ith dead leaves and went back to the water. I sipped a little and waited. I cried and then fell silent until the sun left the sky. And under some leaves near the water…. much, much later the lady found me; a seemingly ordinary girl in a green tunic and long skirts. She dipped a cloth in the stream and wiped my face. Then she picked me up and carried me to a dark place that smelled of herbs. I was dazed and sleepy. There were aromatic scents of exotic things, like flowers. I don’t know how I got home. But later it faded out, until it was gone. My mother tended me. And in my mind, she and the lady in the green dress were mixed together so that memory could not tell where one ended and the other began. And I clung to her and cried a lot. A little while later those keys were put in place. I could not travel in time. And I was anxious to forget all of that until it became clear there was something else wrong apart from just a bad experience. That thing….it could find no exit door. Its escape route had been closed. It did what it would do in that situation; find a suitable place to hide.
I turned away from the buggy stood there now in quiet empty space. I turned and buried my face in Leo’s coat. Everyone else had gone into the mess tent.
‘The power of forgetting,’ said Leo then, ‘has hidden this. But now we see.’
‘I can’t go with them!’
‘It will not come out in this place. You have to find the place that it wants to escape to. Then it will leave you.’
‘That thing…hitched a ride inside me. It’s been in there all this time?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why didn’t you get it out?’ I blasted at him crying now, ‘I was a little kid! I didn’t know.’
‘You were a child.’ Leo is very still, and isn’t angered by my outburst, ‘and now you are a man. Your mind is your own Jared. You have to choose now. If it was forcibly ejected by us; it would come back worse: probably angry. You have resisted this….it is nearly time.’