Black Butterfly

by Michelle, Nika

  Sighing I disagreed with her logic. “Why should I forgive them? They hurt me intentionally. Nell just sat back and let me be played. She didn’t care. Maurice just used me as a pawn. I didn’t mean shit to him. It was all just something for him to do.”

  “So, how is the apartment search going?” Dr. Fletcher asked changing the subject.

  That put a smile on my face. “I decided to buy a house in South Beach right next to the ocean. My father is closing the deal for me. He’s handling everything,” I replied.

  “That’s great.” Dr. Fletcher removed her glasses and looked at me like she was in deep thought. “Do you feel that leaving your apartment will help you get over Maurice?”

  “Yeah, somewhat. There will not be so many memories to haunt me. He’d even gone so far as to start shooting up. He lied and told me that he was diabetic. He just got out of rehab about a week ago. He didn’t attempt to contact me, but Seantay told me that he’s been trying to get back with Renell. I should be like fuck him, but I wonder why he hasn’t tried to contact me. If I move I might be able to get over it.”

  “It doesn’t matter where you go, the memories will still be in your mind. You have to stop running and confront those feelings head on. The only way to get over it is to face it and deal with it. You have to sit down and talk to your sister. After that you must confront Maurice and get some closure,” she instructed sternly.

  “Oh no. I will never talk to Maurice. I don’t even think I will ever talk to Renell again either. As far as I’m concerned neither one of them exists to me. I am finished,” I said defiantly.

  “I understand you feeling that way about Maurice, but Renell is your sister. She’s your blood.”

  “So!” I snapped. “That doesn’t matter to me right now.”

  Dr. Fletcher’s oval shaped, mocha colored face was filled with shock at my outburst.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly. “It’s just so hard for me. My sister and I have never really been that close. What she and Maurice did to me seals the deal. She’s no longer my sister. I hate them for what they did to me.”

  “Have you ever stopped to think about how Renell felt during the three years that you were with Maurice? Don’t you think she was hurt too?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t care,” Iretorted.

  Shaking her head Dr. Fletcher looked repulsed. “You have too much pent up anger Seandra. That’s not good. You have to release that anger, but not with so much aggression.”

  I was silent knowing that the time was approaching for our session to be over.

  “Well, that’s our time. I want you to think seriously about what I asked you. Consider it a homework assignment. Put all of your hurt and animosity to the side and put yourself in Renell’s shoes. We’ll discuss your thoughts next week.” Dr. Fletcher stood up and walked me to the door. I left her office feeling like therapy was making me feel worst.

  * * *

  Renell

  My baby sister was becoming one of favorite people. We should’ve been closer all along. If only Seandra could find it in her heart to complete our three way bond. I was willing to forgive and forget about the evil thing she’d done and said to me in the past. If only she could do the same for me. My relationship with Ricky allowed me the openness and courage to reach out and love my sisters. I’d even started spending more time with my parents.

  I’d met Ricky’s parents and younger sister a month earlier. His family was really close and I envied them. His relationship with his sister was really admirable. He’d stressed to me the importance of family. I’d just pulled up to my parents’ estate when Seantay pulled up behind me. I got out of my car and waited for her. She walked up with a huge smile on her face.

  “What has you all giddy?” I asked her as we climbed the steps of the huge mansion we’d grown up in.

  “The WoMon Ross billboards are up. I saw one on 95 today,” she said souding really excited.

  “Oh yeah. I remember you told me about that. You’ll have to take me to see it later. I am so proud of you,” I said giving her a hug.

  “Thanks Renell. I’m proud of you too,” Seantay said.

  “Thanks little sis. I just wanted to stop by and see the folks before they head to Thailand tomorrow.”

  Seantay opened the door and we walked inside of the massive estate. Our parents were in the sitting room watching television. Only a dim lamp shined in the lavishly decorated room.

  “Hi Nell,” mother said and stood up to give me a hug. She kissed Seantay on the cheek.

  Father gave me a kiss on the forehead. “How are you honey?”

  “I’m good,” I said smiling.

  “And Ricky?” He asked.

  “Ricky’s doing great. He’s in St. Louis on business.”

  “Tell him I’m still waiting to kick his butt in a little golf.”

  I laughed. “I sure will daddy.”

  He looked at Seantay. “Good to see that my babygirl made it home in one piece,” he said giving her a hug.

  Seantay told them about the billboard.

  “Good. I’m so proud of both of you. Nell, I always knew you’d be like your old man. I don’t have any sons, but you are a chip off the old block,” he laughed.

  He’d finally said exactly what I’d longed to hear. I was grateful. It seemed like such a simple thing, but it meant the whole world to me.

  Father looked at Seantay. “And babygirl I always told you that you had the face of the future didn’t I?”

  She nodded knowingly. “Yes you did! I’m so excited. I have to tell Raheem.” She bolted up the stairs.

  My visit was supposed to be short, but I ended up staying for dinner. I had begun to realize that I only had one family. They may have not been perfect, but I loved them anyway.

  * * *

  Seandra

  It was time for me to move on. After all of the moping around and feeling sorry for myself I decided to try dating again. Why not? It wasn’t like I had a problem getting a man. I was starting to realize that I was better off without Maurice. He had too many damn issues anyway. I didn’t even want to think about how awful our marriage would have been.

  I applied my make up lightly and rushed to put on my black Manolo pumps. The Skybar in Miami Beach was a celebrity hotspot and I was ready to meet up with Jermaine LaRue. He was a starter for the Miami Heat. At 6’2, 200 lbs, he was extra fine and rich. At the age of twenty-eight he was successful and drug free. He wore a close, wavy haircut, and had smooth cocoa brown skin. A few freckes were sprinkled across his nose and cheeks. I thought he was adorable and he dressed immaculately.

  Taking one last glance at myself I knew that the short, tight, black Gucci dress was perfect for the occasion. I planned to seduce Jermaine and have him begging for mercy. This was our second date. Grabbing my purse I headed out. I hit the highway exceeding the speed limit with the top down and my hair flowing in the wind. I was walking into the Skybar in less than twenty minutes flat. I spotted Jermaine at the crowded bar. He was looking sharp in black Armani jeans, red Armani blazer with black embroidery, black tee, and black and red snake skin Armani shoes. I walked over and covered his eyes with my hands.

  “Mmm, I’d recognize your perfume anywhere,” he said grabbing my hands. “Seandra, baby you smell really good.”

  I sat down beside him and leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Let’s get a table so we can have a little more privacy. I have something to show you.”

  “That’s cool with me,” he agreed anxiously. “What do you want to drink?”

  “Remy on the rocks.”

  He ordered our drinks and led me to the VIP section. “Damn girl, you’re wearing the hell out of that dress.”

  “Yeah, and it’s easy to take off,” I flirted as I sipped my drink.

  He kissed me softly and I could taste the Patron on his tongue. “After you my lady,” he smiled slyly pointing to a small table for two.

  I knew that he wanted to get a view of my ass in my snug
dress. I had no problem delivering as I shook my hips seductively as I passed him. I didn’t bother looking back because I knew he was hypnotized. After forty minutes or so of teasing and flirting I decided to get straight to the point. I was horny as hell and needed some kind of sexual release.

  “Remember I told you that I had to show you something?” I asked playing with the cherry in the mouth.

  He nodded with his tongue literally hanging out of his mouth. I twirled the cherry around with my tongue while holding on to the stem. As I spread my legs to give him a look at my bare goods his eyes widened. He licked his lips greedily.

  “She’s pretty,” he whispered.

  “You can touch,” I said batting my long lashes at him.

  “I want to do more than that.” He slid closer to me. “But touching is a start.” I felt his tongue on my neck and then the warmth of one of his fingers inside me.

  “Mmm, let’s get out of here,” I whispered breathlessly. My arousal was eminent.

  His breath tickled my ear causing an erotic shiver to travel down my spine. “I want to taste you first.”

  “What are you waiting for?” I asked not caring who was around or how crowded the VIP section was.

  Jermaine looked around before he ducked his tall ass under the table and crouched between my thighs. I felt his warm tongue sweep softly across my clitoris in quick, skillfull strokes. Grabbing the back of his head I grinded into the wet, heat of his mouth and enjoyed the feeling. My heartbeat quickened at the excitement of what he was doing to me. A moan escaped my lips.

  “Oh hmmm…” I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip as he expertly used his tongue and lips to suck my clit. The feeling was deliciously pleasurable and my body jerked in spasms. I was coming quickly. It had been so long and the orgasmic wave that took over my neglected body was much needed. “Yesss…fuck!” I felt him slide two fingers inside me and push against my Gspot. I came again. “FUCK!!!” I was glad the music was loud.

  He reluctantly removed his mouth and fingers from my drenched pussy and appeared from under the table. We kissed passionately and he helped me up from my seat. “Let’s go.”

  I obliged without hesitation. On the way out of the club we were bombarded by the papparazi. “Are you two together now? Are you still depressed about the break up with Maurice?” They asked as their cameras flashed. We just ignored them and got into our cars. I couldn’t wait to fuck his fine ass. Even the mention of Maurice couldn’t change that.

  I wasn’t surprised when the photos were plastered all over the internet the next day. Any press was good press and controvery was good for my career.

  * * *

  Seantay

  What the hell was so urgent? Raheem sounded like he was having a fit.

  “Get over here now Seantay!” He yelled. “Don’t fuck with me woman!”

  He’d never yelled at me before. “What’s your problem Raheem?” I asked. “Why are you yelling at me?”

  My short, white Christian Dior slip dress flapped in the wind as I made my way to my car. He didn’t say anything. “Rah? I just called you with good news and now you’re screaming on me! What’s up?” I got in the car and waited for his response.

  “Get here shawty. Don’t make the old me come out. I’m giving your lil’ red ass thirty fucking minutes.”

  I realized that he’d hung up on me. I just stared at the phone with my mouth wide open. What the hell had crawled up his ass? I sped past traffic and got to his place in thirty-two minutes. Before I could ring the doorbell he opened the door. The look on his face let me know that he was pissed. I had never seen him look like that before.

  After he closed the door behind me I followed him into the living room. No words were spoken between us and the tension was thick.

  “What’s going on Rah?” I asked breaking the silence.

  He shook his head. “I had a special night planned for us. I went to the store to get some of those scented candles that you like. When I got to the counter I saw something that made me sick to my fucking stomach. I was excited that you were excited and I wanted to celebrate with you. My girl. My girl right?” He asked with eyes on fire.

  I nodded. “Yes baby. I’m your girl. What do you mean?” I asked confused. I tried to figure out what he could be so upset about, but I kept drawing a blank.

  “I planned on going to see the billboard. It’s funny how quickly things can change.” He held up a magazine that I didn’t even notice he’d been holding the entire time.

  Like a deer caught in headlights I was stuck. I couldn’t even blink. I didn’t want to because my tears would’ve been like water falls.

  Finally, I found my voice. “Baby, that’s not what you think,” I started trying to explain.

  “Well, what the fuck was it? Huh?’ He asked still holding up the magazine.

  “It was before we made our relationship official Rah,” I defended myself.

  “If you read the article it says that he admits to a relationship with you. Let me rephrase that. He admits to a romantic relationship with you. Look at this fucking cover Seantay!” He yelled angrily throwing the magazine across the room.

  I jumped. There it was. A photo of Dean and I on the night we’d gone out. It all came back to me in a flash. There were paparrazi everywhere. There we were on the cover of Us magazine. I massaged my temples as I felt the beginning of a nagging headache. Damn, this relationship shit was difficult. I was a victim of circumstance.

  “I haven’t been with Dean in any kind of way. I’m with you and only you. Baby, that’s not a recent picture. You had told me about your drama with your ex that night and I went out with him once. Nothing happened between us. I went home alone that night.”

  “Should I believe you Tay? Or did you just think I would never know about it? Shit, you’ve never been in a relationship before. Maybe you don’t know how to be faithful,” he said harshly. Bad intentions laced every word. He wanted to hurt me because he was hurt.

  Before I could open my mouth he spat, “Is that why you went to Atlanta? To fuck that nigga?!”

  “No! Dean wouldn’t say we’re together because we’re not. I never fucked him! I love you and I know how to be faithful because I have been! True, this is new to me, but I told Dean that we’re together now. I went to Atlanta strictly for a business meeting with him. We were discussing the ad campaign and my modeling contract. Dean knows there’s nothing intimate between us. How can you believe a gossip magazine over me? So all this time I’ve been faithful to you for nothing?” Tears stung my eyes.

  “The pictures and the article say it all. Read that shit yourself! It’s a personal interview with Dean. He’s quoted saying that you’re his girl and you’ll be designing with him. He’s talking about the two of you are going to be the next Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons. What the fuck kind of shit is that?” He asked with undisputable fury in his eyes. His handsome face was contorted into a menacing scowl. “I even searched the internet and the story of you and Dean is hot shit right now.”

  “You’re going to believe him over me? If you can’t believe me over a damn magazine article then we have no relationship Raheem!” I stormed out of his apartment in anger and he didn’t come after me.

  Sure I had a past, but he could’ve tried to trust me. Tears streamed from my eyes as I drove in deep thought. I gave him the benefit of the doubt with his situation, but he couldn’t do that shit for me. If Dean had really done that interview I couldn’t understand why. What was his agenda?

  I wiped the tears from my eyes and called Dean. “Dean!” I yelled once I heard his voice.

  “You miss me?” He asked in that cocky, northern accent.

  “What the fuck are you trying to prove?” I asked not holding anything back.

  “What do you mean?” He asked playing dumb.

  “Why would you lie Dean? You know nothing happened between us! Do you realize that I do have a life that you’ve ruined! What the hell made you tell a fucking gossip magazine that we’re t
ogether?!” I was fuming. If he had been standing in front of me I would’ve punched the shit out of his smug ass.

  Dean just let out a light chuckle. “It was just press ma. Think of it as a publicity stunt. You know, to boost revenue. Don’t worry you’ll get paid, with your fine ass. You’re a Beauvois and your fame can sale anything.”

  I was shocked and appaled. “What? That’s all this shit was to you? Do you realize that I had a boyfriend? I guess you didn’t give a shit! This was all about you! You plotted this shit from the beginning! You just broke up my relationship! I don’t need your fucking money! I’m richer than you! Remember!” I was speeding. I always drove fast when I got upset.

  “So, that means you’re single. I have a chance then right? It could be you and me ma. We’d be a power couple for real. You’re sexy. I’m sexy. This could be some hot shit.”

  I couldn’t believe him. “Listen to me you sick, greedy fuck! You will be hearing from my lawyers! The billboard is coming down tomorrow! I will have your ass in court so fast your fucking arrogant ass head will spin! Fuck your little precious WoMan Ross ad! It’ll never hit the shelves! You will be so broke I will have your lame ass designing for me! You fucked with the wrong bitch! I will ruin you!” With that said I hung up and tossed the phone in the passenger seat. I calmed down and lifted my foot from the gas slightly steadying my speed to a slow cruise. I could feel the mist on my skin as I got closer to the ocean. I ended up at Renell’s door.

  Chapter 18

  Seantay

  It was already seven a.m. and mother and father still weren’t home. I was worried because they’d assured me that Edwin would be picking them up from the airport. Their plane was scheduled to land at five. I sent up a silent prayer and sat down in front of the television. There was a news bulletin about a plane crash. I turned up the volume and read the words that flashed across the screen. A plane had crashed before it had even made its way out of Thailand. It was my parents’ flight. The sound of the phone startled me and I jumped up to answer it.

  “Hello,” I answered in a whisper.