Maybe This Kiss

by Jennifer Snow

  “Where are we going?”

  “Back to bed.” She could finish the costumes in the morning…much later in the morning.

  * * *

  He’d never understood the appeal of watching a woman sleep. But standing in Becky’s bedroom doorway the following morning, he couldn’t bring himself to wake her. She looked so beautiful lying on her side, her legs tangled in the bedsheets, her arm extended overhead, with her head resting against it. Her light brown hair was a teased mess from the adventures of the night before, and the expression on her face while she slept was enviably peaceful.

  She released a deep breath as she rolled onto her back. Opening her eyes slowly, she stretched, and the blanket covering her breasts slid further down her chest, almost giving him a peek. He watched her blink several times, then a look of panic appeared as she clutched the blanket and turned to check the clock on the bedside table.

  “It’s ten to eleven,” he said.

  Her head swung toward the sound of his voice and she smiled. “Hi. Good morning. You’re still here.”

  At least she was smiling about that. “Yes, I am.” He entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “Breakfast is made, though I was starting to think about lunch preparations. Do you always sleep this late?” he teased.

  “Only when sexy men keep me awake until dawn. So, maybe once a…”

  “Week?”

  She hit him with a pillow. “I was going to say decade.”

  He leaned closer and kissed her. “We need to fix that.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, and the passion in her eyes was a reflection of his own feelings. “Last night was definitely a treat.”

  He grinned. “I have more. Come with me.” He stood and handed her his discarded T-shirt from the floor, waiting while she put it on before leading the way down the hallway.

  She stopped at the kitchen. “Oh my God, something smells amazing…”

  “Not yet, keep walking,” he said, continuing to the sewing room and opening the door. “Now, I know it’s not as perfect as you would have done, but from a distance, who’ll notice?” He held up the sheep’s costume she’d abandoned the night before. It was finished.

  Her mouth gaped. “You made the costume?” She took it, and he hoped it would pass her inspection. “How did you even know how?”

  He laughed. “It’s amazing what you can find on YouTube.”

  She set the costume aside and hugged him. “You’re amazing.”

  “It was the least I could do for keeping you up so late. Come on, let’s eat.” Taking her hand, they went to the kitchen. “I wasn’t sure if you still liked scrambled eggs and extra-crispy bacon with hot sauce, so I made everything I could find.”

  She reached for a strip of bacon, dipped it into the hot sauce and sat, curling her leg beneath her on the chair. “I could get used to this.”

  He grinned, pouring her coffee. “So, is your life normally this chaotic, or is it the holiday season?”

  “The holiday season doubles the workload for sure, but raising a daughter alone keeps me busy.”

  “This wedding can’t be helping, either.”

  “Honestly, no, but Holly’s like a sister to me, so I’d do anything for her.”

  “Do you still see the rest of Rob’s family often?”

  “Less and less since they moved to Denver. Taylor spends a few weeks a year with them, but it’s hard. Being around us is a little painful, but they try.” She sipped her coffee and reached for another slice of bacon. “What about you? Do you have anyone you consider family in Miami?”

  He poured his own coffee, the late night and no sleep starting to catch up with him. “A lot of really great friends, but I haven’t felt like part of a family in a long time. Not since my dad died, really.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  Standing, he walked toward her and knelt on the floor beside her chair. “The thing is, being with you again feels like the closest I’ll ever be to another family.” He took her hand and kissed her palm. “Spend the day with me?”

  She glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall. “Sorry, I can’t. It’s just two weeks until Christmas and I haven’t even started shopping for Taylor’s presents yet.”

  “I could help.”

  “You want to spend your day off in the mall?”

  He kissed her forehead. “No. I want to spend the day with you.”

  “Okay. Let me call Mom real quick to see if Taylor can stay at her place today.”

  “Sure.” As she left the kitchen, he drained the contents of his coffee cup. He hadn’t had a reason to go near malls at Christmastime for so long, he was actually looking forward to it. At some point he’d have to sneak away to do a bit of his own shopping. The night before she’d invited him to have Christmas dinner with her family, so he wanted to get a little something for them all.

  Unfortunately, she shook her head as she returned. “Mom has a hockey charity event she’s attending with Ben in Denver today. Guess shopping will have to wait.” She bit her lip and he knew she was looking for her next available timeslot.

  “Why don’t I hang out here with Taylor today and you shop?”

  Her eyes widened. “No, that’s too much…”

  “Not at all,” he said, standing and wrapping his arms around her. “It’ll be fun.” He paused. “Unless you think she’d be uncomfortable?”

  Becky shook her head. “No. She really likes you.” She hesitated, checking the calendar once more. “If you’re sure?”

  “I am. Go get dressed.”

  She hugged him tight. “Thank you.”

  “I meant what I said about wanting to be with you, a part of your life. Taylor and I should get to know one another better.”

  A look he couldn’t decipher flashed momentarily in her eyes, but she nodded. “I think that’s a good idea.”

  He kissed her quickly, then, turning her around, he tapped her on the butt and sent her out of the kitchen before he could read too much into her response.

  * * *

  “Did Mom tell you what she was buying?” Taylor asked five seconds after Becky left.

  “No, and I couldn’t tell you even if she did. Besides, it’s probably nothing for you. Doesn’t Santa bring your presents?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I’m turning nine next month, Neil.”

  He shrugged. “So? I’m thirty-two. I still believe.” He poured two glasses of egg nog and handed one to her.

  She laughed and pointed to the cupboard. “Chocolate fudge cookies are in there.”

  Opening the cupboard, he removed the bag. “Do you guys have any peanut butter?” Neil asked and Taylor pointed to the fridge.

  “Mom likes it cold.”

  He took the container from the fridge and grabbed two knives from the drawer. Setting everything down on the table, he grinned. “Now let me show you how to eat these.”

  “Remove the top, add the peanut butter, and squish the top back on?”

  “The only way to eat them,” he said surprised. “You do that, too?”

  She nodded as she twisted off a cookie top and spread the hard, cold peanut butter in the center on top of the fudge. “Mom taught me this trick when I was little.”

  He smiled. “I taught it to her. She thought it was disgusting at first, but then she couldn’t get enough.”

  Taylor studied him as she took a bite of her cookie. “You and my mom used to be really good friends, right? Before you moved away?”

  “Yeah, for a long time, actually. In fact…” He reached into his pocket and taking out his wallet, he found the old photo he had tucked away in the back. “This was taken on our first official date,” he said, handing her the photo of him and Becky at the seventh grade winter formal. It had been in his wallet since it’d been taken. Every time he was forced to get a new one, he thought maybe it was time to retire the photo, but it would always end up tucked right back in there, next to the one of his father in his Air Force uniform. Both pictures
served as reminders of things he’d lost, things he missed, but also the things he was fighting for every day—freedom and family.

  “This thing is like a million years old,” Taylor said, studying the picture. “Shouldn’t it be black-and-white?”

  “Hey, watch it,” he said, ruffling her hair. Man, she was a smartass.

  She laughed. “You guys look so young,” she said through a mouthful of chocolate.

  “We were.” But he knew even then that the bond they had was special. She was special. He glanced at the photo he’d seen a thousand times and smiled. He’d been so nervous asking her to go with him. Partly because she was the prettiest girl in school and partly because he was afraid of her brothers. It didn’t matter that they were younger than he was; he knew the three of them would band together and kick his ass. Still could.

  “She seems really happy since you’ve been back,” Taylor said, handing back the photo.

  He tucked it into his wallet and swallowed a bite of his own cookie, the peanut butter and chocolate combination sticking to the top of his mouth. “I’m happy, too.” Happy and terrified. Second chances didn’t come around often, and he hoped they could get it right this time.

  Taylor was quiet for a long moment, a thoughtful look on her face.

  “You okay?” he asked, pulling out a chair to sit across from her.

  “Yeah…It’s just…She mentioned you’ll be going overseas again soon.” She didn’t look at him, instead busying herself with another cookie.

  He set his aside and took a gulp of eggnog. “Yes, I’ll be deployed again in the new year. I’m not sure when…or for how long.” He and Becky hadn’t talked much about it since the night at the arena, but obviously it was on her mind if she’d mentioned it to Taylor.

  He hoped it didn’t cause her to doubt what was happening between them.

  “I know Mom will miss you.”

  “I’ll miss her, too.”

  “I guess I’ll probably miss you, too…a little bit,” she said, keeping her eyes on the table.

  The words were a kick to the gut. He hadn’t been spending time with Taylor long, but he knew they were getting close. They would get much closer as things progressed with Becky. It wasn’t just their own hearts and emotions they needed to think about this time.

  Getting involved with the family would mean stepping into a position of role model for Becky’s daughter. A possible stepdad if things went the way he hoped. He struggled with the new, foreign feelings enveloping him. He wanted to be someone Taylor could count on and trust…He swallowed hard. “Then I promise I’ll be back as quick as possible, okay?”

  She smiled. “Okay.”

  He took another gulp of eggnog, but the liquid felt trapped in his throat. Becky’s reservations about them had seemed like roadblocks they needed to overcome. But until that moment, he hadn’t realized what being together fully meant.

  Chapter 9

  You look more nervous than I am,” Holly said, smoothing the front of her wedding dress two weeks later.

  “I think I might throw up,” Becky said, curling Taylor’s hair as they prepared for the ceremony. Her stomach was in knots and her hands were shaky. She forced herself to take a deep breath. Going as Neil’s date to the wedding was the right thing. It was what she wanted. The last few weeks with him had been as close to perfect as she could have imagined this stressful, busy time of year could be.

  He’d attended Taylor’s Christmas concert with her, her mother, and Holly. He’d helped her and Taylor dig out their own artificial tree and decorations from the basement, and he’d even braved the bitter cold earlier that week to hang the outdoor lights that she’d planned on forgoing this year.

  He usually spent the night, but left for work before Taylor woke up. The passion between them only seemed to grow each time they made love. He’d been her first, and back when they were teenagers, the sex had been exciting but awkward and usually quick. Now it was tender yet intense, slow yet exhilarating.

  It was taking all her strength not to think about how much she would miss him when he deployed in the new year. He’d yet to get a ship-out date, but she knew whether it was now or sometime in the future, being apart from him while he went overseas would be a reality of their future together. A reality she needed to decide if she could live with.

  She finished the curl and handed Taylor a mirror. The little girl wrinkled her nose.

  “Wow, I barely recognize you,” Holly told her.

  “Remember our deal.” She pointed a finger at her aunt.

  Holly nodded. “Fine. You’re wearing a dress and you’re hair isn’t in a messy ponytail, so you can wear your sneakers…but no high-tops!”

  Taylor ran off to get her shoes, and Becky turned the curler on her unruly hair. She wasn’t sure why she was even bothering. The curls would last five seconds out in the snow, but she wanted to look nice when Neil first saw her at least.

  Her breath caught again. Nerves caused her hand to slip and she burned her scalp. “Ow.”

  “Let me,” Holly said, taking the curling iron from her.

  Becky sighed as she sat on the edge of the bride’s bed. “I’m supposed to be helping you get ready.”

  “I am ready,” Holly said. “And thanks to you, I look stunning.”

  It was true, but Becky couldn’t take all the credit. Her former sister-in-law was breathtaking on any given day. The dress and makeup just enhanced her perfect hourglass shape and delicate features. “Are you sure being there with him—actually together—is okay?”

  Holly wrapped a new section of hair around the barrel and looked at her through the mirror. “It’s more than okay. I’m so happy that you finally realized you’re allowed to fall for someone else again. Neil looks at you like you’re the only person in the room, and the way he treats Taylor melts my heart.”

  She swallowed hard. She’d had a similar reaction whenever she’d watched them together. “What about your parents?”

  Holly released the last section of hair and loose curls fell around Becky’s shoulders. “They care about you and Taylor. They’ll be happy to see you happy.”

  Her friend’s words didn’t soothe her nerves as much as she’d hoped they would. And when the doorbell rang a moment later, she nearly fainted. “That’s him…” She got up and paced the room.

  Holly laughed then sighed. “God, I miss that new relationship buzz. It’s my wedding day, and I’m calm as shit.” She laughed again. “Go let him in. You look amazing.”

  Her legs felt unsteady on the three-inch silver heels, and by the time her shaky knees made their way to the living room, Taylor had already let Neil in. Her anxiety subsided when he turned and smiled. “Wow,” he said, letting out a low whistle as she approached.

  “Wow yourself.” In his faded jeans and T-shirt, he was gorgeous. In his uniform, he could melt the panties off of her. But there in the tux she’d altered for him, he made her want to bail on the wedding altogether. His short hair was gelled, and she breathed in the scent of his cologne as he approached. The soft yet manly smell had her wanting to climb inside his jacket.

  Taking her hands, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her gently.

  “Gross,” Taylor said at their show of affection, but it was half-hearted and she giggled when Neil grabbed her next and kissed her cheek.

  Becky’s mouth went dry at the sight of her daughter’s blushing cheeks. The two of them had gotten so comfortable so quickly. There was no doubt they adored one another. Holly was right about that. Was she right about everything else?

  “Can we go now?” Taylor asked as Neil released her.

  Holly entered and checked the time on the clock on the wall. “Yes, let’s go. Our flight to Mexico leaves in eight hours.”

  “She sounds more excited about the honeymoon than the actual wedding,” Neil whispered as he helped Becky into her coat.

  “She’s not in the infatuation stage anymore—she says, at this point, the wedding is just a formality.”
>
  “What about you? Are you still in the infatuation stage?” he asked, lifting her curls over the edge of her coat and turning her around.

  “Oh, I’m completely beyond infatuation,” she said, her gaze locked on his.

  * * *

  An hour later, tears gathered in her eyes as she watched Holly walk down the aisle. The dress fit her perfectly. The church looked beautiful with the holiday decorations, and Taylor played her role as flower girl with ease, despite being uncomfortable in a dress.

  At the altar, the bride and groom were saying their vows, and Becky’s weren’t the only wet eyes in the room.

  Being there with Neil didn’t feel nearly as awkward as she had expected. The extended Christiansen family, who didn’t know their history or the current situation, seemed to accept her paired up with the groomsman without question, and while she’d seen her former in-laws as they’d taken their seats in the church, she’d yet to talk to them.

  But even that didn’t cause her as much anxiety anymore with Neil standing across from her. No matter what, the Christiansens were a part of her past. But Neil was what she wanted for her future.

  “This couple has chosen to show their love for one another here among family and friends on this day. They have chosen one another, and they will go forward in an uncertain world, certain of one another,” the pastor was saying, and his words brought a lump to her throat.

  An uncertain world…certain of one another…

  The truth of the words as they applied to her own feelings, her own heart, and her own future with Neil made her chest tighten.

  Every love was a leap of faith.

  Despite her casualness earlier, Holly’s voice broke as she said her vows, and the groom’s love-filled expression made Becky believe they may not be so far from the new love buzz as Holly might have thought.

  At the back of the church twenty minutes later, she hugged Taylor. “You did great.”

  “It was walking a straight line and standing there—not exactly challenging, Mom,” she said.