If You're Willing

by Ivy Symone

  “Just answer this, did you go with that bitch Eli? And tell the truth?”

  Cassie shook her head in disbelief. “You’re so dumb Rodney. And at this point, I think it’s best if we don’t fuck with each anymore like that. I need to reevaluate this whole thing. So…please just get out.”

  “For real?” He seemed crushed.

  “Shit died between us a while ago,” she said angrily. “You and your baby mamas and then you slinging dick everywhere. It ain’t what I want.”

  “You just a hateful ass bitch,” he snarled.

  “And this hateful ass bitch wanna move on. Now get out.”

  Colette appeared at the end of the hall with her arms folded over her chest. She looked at Rock and said, “You heard her. Just leave.”

  Rock shot daggers towards Colette. She stared back at him stone-faced. Without saying another word he stormed out of the apartment.

  Colette looked at Cassie. “What was that about?”

  “He’s mad cause I went out last night. I always go out and it ain’t never been a problem. He don’t need to concern himself with what I’m doing now,” she said. She headed back to her room with her glass of juice.

  Colette eyed her. “Is there a reason you’re walking like that.”

  Cassie threw over her shoulder, “I got the dog shit fucked out of me last night.”

  Colette laughed. “Ooh! You naughty girl.”

  _____

  When Rock arrived at Jah’s house, the sight of two Yukon Denalis, one black and the other bronze, in the driveway irritated him. He already knew that bitch Eli was inside.

  “What’s up nigga?” Jah greeted.

  “I can’t call it,” Rock mumbled as he made his way in. He could hear the screaming of toddlers coming from the family room. Genesis and Avani were running around the dinette table.

  Rock looked up and locked eyes with Eli. He didn’t care what anybody said, the way Eli looked at him was like he was always fucking with him.

  “Hey Rock,” Jazmin said from the sofa. She was tending to Ja-ja.

  “C’mon,” Jah gestured for him to follow him.

  Rock asked, “Why he always here?”

  “There you go. Stop worrying ‘bout that shit nigga.” Jah snapped.

  Rock made himself comfortable in Jah’s room. He looked around and thought Jah had it made. He had a wife that loved the shit out of him. Not to mention Jazmin was a sexy plus size woman with her own hair that flowed down her back. They already had a daughter together, who was terrible but pretty as hell, and now they just had a son to add to their perfect life. On top of that, they just moved into a brand new subdivision where the lowest priced house started at four hundred thousand. Jah had his own room where he could be as untidy as he wanted to be without hearing Jazmin’s mouth. And though Jah didn’t have the best housekeeping skills, he tried to keep his room straight. It was equipped with quality electronics and furnishings. He had a bar, billiards table, and a poker table. There wasn’t really one specific theme; just all of Jah’s favorite things. However, he did have a specific color palette which was blue, white and red because his favorite football team was the New York Giants.

  Rock wanted what Jah had, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to do what it took to maintain it. His eyes still wandered. He still loved being with different women. He didn’t want to be tied down, but he wanted the life that came with it.

  “Nigga, you worried about Eli being over here all the time, but why you always bringing yo ass over here,” Jah pointed out. “Besides, that’s Jazz’s and my nigga Abe’s family so that makes him my family. Calm down with all that. As a matter of fact…”

  Rock watched Jah leave out the room. Two minutes later, he was returning with Eli. Rock blew a frustrated breath. Why he had to bring this nigga in here, Rock thought.

  “Nigga, don’t be looking like that,” Jah said to Rock. “Get outcho fuckin’ feelings about whatever it is. Eli, whatchu do to this nigga?”

  Eli laughed. “I ain’t done shit to him.”

  “What’s up with you and Cassie though?” Rock asked.

  Eli gave a half shrug. “Nothing. She works with me now. Is that why you got a problem with me?”

  “The way you be looking be having me think—” Rock was saying before being interrupted.

  “Eli look at everybody funny and shit,” Jah said. “That ain’t nothing new.”

  Eli sat down at the bar. He asked, “How do I be looking at you though?”

  “Like you fucking with me.”

  Eli rolled his eyes. “Boy, you ain’t that kind of important. You just Jah’s friend.”

  Before Rock could respond, Jah interrupted. “Squash that shit. Now tell me ‘bout whatchu was sayin’ on the phone.”

  Rock gestured with his eyes towards Eli. An annoyed grimaced formed on Jah’s face. “Nigga, he ain’t finna say nothing.”

  “I don’t know if I can trust him,” Rock said.

  “He straight Rock,” Jah said seriously.

  “Wait,” Rock said before turning to Eli again. He asked, “Did Cassie go out with you last night?”

  Eli answered, “She went out with Tanya, her brother, and me. We met up with some other people.”

  “Was she with a nigga?” Rock asked.

  Eli shrugged without a show of care. “I don’t know. I wasn’t with her the whole time. Did you ask her?”

  “Yeah but her lil ass got smart and shit,” Rock said. Then a thought occurred to Rock. Maybe befriending Eli wasn’t a bad thing. This way he could keep tabs on Cassie while keeping her at bay while he did his thing. “Next time she go out with you, make sure you watch her ass. I think she on some shit. Her lil bitch ass had stains and shit on her clothes and walking all funny.”

  Eli looked at him like he was crazy. “I ain't watching shit and I ain't reporting shit.”

  Before Rock could voice his comeback, Jah clowned him. “Nigga, I told you yo shit was garbage. Cassie ain’t thinkin’ bout yo ass. But how you mad and you doin’ the dirty shit you doin?”

  Eli chuckled. “His shit is what Jah?”

  “Garbage,” Jah repeated.

  “Fuck both of ya’ll,” Rock grumbled. A sly smile spread across his face. “Her mama don’t think it’s garbage though.”

  Jah stopped laughing. “Nigga, you didn’t.”

  “I sho in the fuck did.” He said as if he were proud.

  Eli gasped dramatically. “You fuck that girl mama?”

  Rock started laughing. “Yeah, but this the funny thing. We knew Cassie was going out, so—”

  “Wait. It was planned?” Eli interrupted.

  “Something like that,” Rock said. He continued, “So I stopped through. We was ‘posed to just be talking. I was really wantin’ some mo’ head. But other shit just happened.”

  “What was funny about that?” Eli wanted to know.

  “Oh…The funny part was when Cassie came home. I was in the room with her mama fuckin’ the shit out of her. We didn’t know she had come home. I shoulda left when we realized she was home. But shit when she came out the bathroom she was still moving around and shit. I couldn’t come out the room. Waiting to make sure she had settled in her room, me and Colette ended up falling asleep. So this morning, I just pretended like I had just gotten there.”

  “So Cassie didn’t see your car outside of her apartments?” Eli wondered. He knew he had taken Cassie home and didn’t see Rock’s car himself. He wasn’t looking for it, because he was too concerned about Cassie and making sure she got in safe.

  “Naw,” Rock said. “I didn’t park in front of her building.”

  “You a dirty ass nigga,” Jah said with detest. “And nigga you my friend, but I’m lettin’ you know right now, I don’t condone this shit. You got all these other hoes out here to pick from, and you wanna fuck with Cassie’s mama. Nigga, you foul. You on some Sean shit.”

  “I might be for now. Shit ain’t right between me and Cassie no way. Her mothafuckin’ mama mor
e fun than she is. Besides, I’d rather be with my baby mama than her evil ass,” Rock said. He added as an afterthought, “Cassie call herself not wanting to fuck with me no more, but I’ma let her lil ass cool off though.”

  “So you’re gonna move on with your baby mama, but you’re still gonna fuck Cassie’s mama?” Eli asked. He looked confused. “And you think this shit is cool?”

  “You heard what he said, right? Nigga selfish. He ain’t gonna back down from Cassie’s ass like that. Nigga, just talkin’. He gonna hold on to Cassie so she won’t go no fuckin’ where and when shit don’t go through with other bitches, he gon’ try to convince Cassie he a good dude,” Jah explained.

  “Aw nigga, you act like you a mothafuckin’ saint or some shit,” Rock rebutted.

  “I ain’t claiming to be no goddamn saint, but I ain’t stupid either. You think I’m finna fuck up what I finally got with Jazz?” Jah asked.

  “But I ain’t got that with Cassie,” Rock stated.

  “But you fuckin’ up yo chances of ever having it,” Jah pointed out.

  Eli interposed, “If you don’t want Cassie for whatever reasons, why don’t you try salvaging the friendship and getting it back to a place the two of you were before. But you gotta stop fucking with her mama. Let that be a one time thing and forget it ever happened, never to be talked about again. Then you take your lil happy ass on and find you a new duck.”

  Rock gave it some thought. He wasn’t making any decisions on that issue just yet. If Cassie would act right, he would think about cutting all of the other women off. However, Colette already said if he stopped their little fling, she would tell Cassie with no hesitation.

  Chapter 8

  For a man to have everything, Eli felt as if he had nothing. Every day seemed like a struggle to put on this facade of his. To make matters worse, his marital problems with Kris were spiraling out of control. It was why he started spending so much time at Jazz and Jah’s house. He was afraid if he didn’t get as far as away from Kris as he could, he would put his hands on her.

  Jazmin suspected something was going on, but Eli would deny it. He felt like he needed to talk to someone about it though. He just needed to get it off his chest, and every time he tried to talk to Kris about their issues, it would turn into a big argument.

  He looked at Cassie at her desk through his office’s glass wall. She looked like she was actually working. Usually she spent too much time talking to other employees. Today, however, she was being studious. He was sure she was being quiet and focused to avoid looking any of them in the eye. She was ashamed of her behavior at the club. Maybe even embarrassed. He was surprised she showed up at all.

  He dialed her extension from his desk phone.

  “Yes?” she quickly answered.

  “Come in here for a sec,” he told her.

  As soon as she hung up, she popped up from her seat and came into his office. He looked her in the face but she refused to make eye contact.

  “What do you need?” she asked.

  “Have a seat.”

  She sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

  “Why are you looking like that?” Eli asked.

  “Like what?” The tone of her voice was sullen.

  “Like the way you looking. Smile or something. I haven’t heard your loud ass cackling all day. Why you so quiet?”

  She shrugged.

  He lowered his voice. “Are you still messed up about the club thing?”

  Her eyes shifted briefly to his before she nodded.

  “Ain’t nobody judging you. We’re all grown,” he said.

  “I know…it’s just…” she let her voice trail into a deep sigh.

  “Would you ever want to go back?”

  This time she looked at him searching his face. “I…I…I’m not sure. I don’t know…Maybe.”

  “What about doing the same thing you did Saturday?”

  “I don’t know. I mean…it might turn into an addiction or something. I felt embarrassed, but I can’t deny that I enjoyed it.”

  “Mmmhmm,” Eli hummed with thought.

  Cassie’s lips formed into a smile. “What does that mean?”

  “You a freak,” Eli replied casually.

  She flushed with embarrassment.

  “But hey…do you,” he said.

  Meekly, Cassie asked, “How do you know about that place anyway?”

  “Kreme came to me, interested in a discreet location for his club. I liked the idea of it and wanted to invest. I’m like a silent partner. I leave the operations of the club to him though.”

  “Oh.”

  “That’s why y’all were able to just come along. It’s my shit.” Changing the subject, he asked, “How is your relationship with your mama?”

  Cassie was confused by his interest in her relationship with her mother. “It’s okay…Eli, are you bored or something? You called me in here just to have leisure conversation?”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  Cassie shook her head with a chuckle. “You’re crazy.”

  “It ain’t like I can get fired,” he pointed out. “Hell, the owner or shall I say owners, are fucking or have fucked my mama at one point. Shit, I’m blood.”

  Cassie gasped. “Why are you saying that?”

  “Cause it’s true!” Eli exclaimed. “That’s why I said I understood your pain when it comes to our mamas being hoes. Me and my brothers got different daddies and it’s taken her this long to know who fathered who. Sarah was fucking a whole family.”

  “Stop talking about your mama like that,” Cassie fussed.

  “She knows she a hoe. She thought I was her late husband’s son but she never got him tested. She just assumed I was his because Lu and Antino came back not my daddy. But guess who my daddy is?”

  “Who?”

  “Lu’s daddy!”

  “Hell naw!” Cassie started laughing. It wasn’t so much of what he said, but how animated he was being. She asked, “How did you find out?”

  “Well, both Antino’s and Lu’s test results came back excluded. However,” Eli said inserting a dramatic pause. “Lu’s wasn’t exactly zero percent excluded, but the probability wasn’t high enough to be considered not excluded by that particular company’s procedures. Just knowing that, was enough for us to think it was someone related to Lu. Sarah denied that there could be anyone else in the family.”

  “So she lied?”

  His eyes widen as he said, “With a straight face too.”

  “But look,” he continued. “That nigga is like eighty years old. So he was about fifty when she fucked him. So I’m Lu’s brother and my brothers’ uncle and brother. Ain’t that some hot ass mess?”

  “So where is your daddy?”

  “He’s in Italy. He came for a visit and confessed to Lu that he slept with the puttana. That means prostitute whore in Italian.”

  Cassie couldn’t stop laughing. He was telling this information in such a serious way, not once cracking a smile.

  “Stop it Eli,” she said. “So how did ya’ll find out you were his son?”

  “We went and got tested. And when it came back that I was his, I was like goddamn! I didn’t talk to my mama for a whole month. That doesn’t make any sense Cassie. Hell, do you know who your daddy is?”

  Cassie chuckled. “Yeah, I know who he is.”

  “Oh…cause the way your mama was having all of those reunions at the cookout. You sure you know who he is?”

  “Yes. Besides, I’m not mixed Eli. I’m straight Black.”

  “Okay,” he said with uncertainty. “You know skin complexion don’t mean anything.”

  “I know. But Charles Stephenson is my daddy. Romyn is biracial though. And our sister Nicole isn’t but she’s lighter than me.”

  “So y’all have different daddy’s too?”

  Cassie nodded.

  Eli shook his head pitying the situation. “I really despise a woman who don’t know who her children’s damn daddies are.
Which brings me to why I really asked you in here.”

  “What?” she asked. She eagerly watched him tap through his phone. Once he got to what he wanted, he turned his phone to face her so she could see the little boy that was on the screen.

  “Do he look like me?” Eli asked.

  “I don’t know. Let me see,” she said as she took his phone. She studied the image closer. She had seen Eli’s wife Kris, in person. The boy resembled her a lot. They both had those simple faces with not a lot of features that stood out. Whereas with Eli, he had prominent features such as the shape of his nose, his thick eyebrows, his pinkish nicely shaped lips, and high cheekbones like Sarah. Eli had a golden complexion with brown undertones. And his hair was fine with a wavy pattern. Cassie found it hard for this little boy not to at least look like he had some other race in him.

  She handed him his phone back. “I really don’t know. Why are you asking? You don’t think he is?”

  “Well,” he started. He leaned forward resting his arm propped up on its elbow on his desk. Placing his face in his palm, he pouted. “I know he isn’t.”

  Cassie looked at him with sympathy. “You do?”

  “When she first had him, it was hard to tell. As he started to get older, I wrote it off that he looked more like her. But Avani resembles Kris a little, but you can tell I’m her daddy. I used to look at him like…who yo’ daddy? I mean, I had convinced myself that if you back up, turn around three times, blink about four times, hold your head upside down and squint you can kinda see me in him. Abe was the first person to really point it out to me. Lovely said she couldn't see the resemblance either.” He laughed at his own joke.

  Cassie snickered, shaking her head. “Boy, stop that.”

  “Okay you see Avani’s hair, right? It’s like Genni’s but you know Jah got that rough shit. With Jazz’s input, she saved Genni from looking like you. So my lil boy hair—”

  “Hold up! Did you just take a dig at my hair?” Cassie asked feigning insult.

  “C’mon Cassie,” Eli mocked with a twist of his lips. “You got your hair done now, but if you go too long, that shit get beady.”

  “Whatever Eli. So what about your lil boy hair?”