If You're Willing

by Ivy Symone

  “Didn’t you just see it in the picture?”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t that bad. And genetics are fifty-fifty. Every child don’t get the same thing.”

  Eli rolled his eyes and released an exasperated breath. “You would say that. All you nappy heads stick together.”

  “Ooh! I can’t stand you,” Cassie laughed. She suggested, “Why don’t you get tested if you have doubts.”

  “That’s an insult to Kris, right? I didn’t question Avani. We got married and she had lil man. I had no reason to think he wasn’t mine when he was born. But…let me show you this picture.”

  Cassie waited as Eli tapped through his phone once more. He gave her the phone. She was looking at a peanut butter complexion man with dreads standing in the middle of two ladies; one of them being Kris. Eli’s son had a strong resemblance to the man.

  “You think this is his real daddy?”

  His tone began to match the sadden expression of his face. “If he isn’t, then I don’t know who is. I didn’t want to disrespect Kris by going behind her back to find out, but I had to know. And he ain’t mine. I got the results a few days ago. Yesterday, I confronted her about it. We argued and I left. I spent all day at Jazz and Jah’s house. I couldn’t look at her. And the worst part about it is, she named him Elijah. Why would she do that?”

  Cassie didn’t know what to say. She could see that Eli was effected by his discovery. Now, it all seemed to make sense. It explained his up and down moods, his constant texting on the phone, and his forever presence at Jazz’s house.

  “So what do you plan to do?” she asked quietly.

  Eli shrugged. “I don’t know. She won’t have a real talk with me. She lashes out and then run…Run right to him.”

  “So you knew about her affair?”

  “I didn’t want to believe it. I tried not to believe it and give her the benefit of the doubt. But all she talk about is Brother Yosef. And when she leaves, she never take Avani. I mean, she hasn’t really bonded that well with the twins, so I expect her not to take them wherever she go. She’s always left them alone for me to handle. But she always takes lil man with her.”

  Cassie was at a loss for words once again.

  Eli sensed the awkwardness Cassie was experiencing. He didn’t mean to bombard her with his problems, but it felt good to tell somebody what he was going through.

  He said, “I know you can’t give me any advice, but thank you for listening.”

  She offered him a modest smile.

  “But back to this other shit,” Eli said. He became upbeat suddenly. “Do you wanna go back out there this weekend?”

  “There?”

  “Yeah. You know…there.”

  Like a little girl who just made a new friend, Cassie caught her bottom lip in between her teeth and nodded. She wanted to go back without a doubt, but she needed to figure out where things stood between her and Rock.

  _____

  The looks Gio gave Cassie the rest of the week didn’t bother her as much as they did Monday. She didn’t really know how to interpret the way he looked at her. If she was an overly confident woman, she would think he was lusting after her. She tried to ignore him the rest of the week, but when he told her he would be joining her and Eli Saturday, she eased up. She wasn’t feeling as uncomfortable, ashamed, and embarrassed as she was at first.

  “So you’re going back?” Tanya asked.

  Cassie turned her body from side to side to inspect herself in her full length mirror. Into the phone, she said, “Yeah. You ain’t coming?”

  “I can’t go back to that place. It was just…wrong on so many levels. I can’t believe you’re going again.”

  “Well, I’m hoping to hook up with my guy again,” Cassie said.

  “Your guy? Wh-wait a minute. Again? Cassie, you fucked somebody there?” Tanya asked surprised.

  “Yeah. You didn’t?”

  “No!”

  “I thought you…Well why did you act like that when we were all in the car?” Cassie asked.

  “I let this white bitch eat the kitty,” Tanya whispered.

  Cassie started snickering.

  “Bitch, that ain’t funny. I felt so dirty…cause…cause that shit was good. But you didn’t tell me you fucked a person.”

  “I assumed no one wanted to share their experience.”

  There was silence. Cassie fluffed her bangs a little so they weren’t too much in her eye.

  “Bitch, I’m waiting on you to tell me whatchu did!” Tanya exclaimed.

  “Oh,” Cassie giggled. “It was good girl! I mean it was what I needed. And I need some more.”

  “What if your guy ain’t there this time?”

  “I don’t know. I just wanna fuck him though; nobody else.”

  “Did you get his name?”

  Cassie thought the answer over and responded, “No,”

  “Do you even wanna know it?”

  “I don’t know. Shit, I might need to see him outside of that club. That would mean things would become different.”

  “But Cassie, you don’t know this man’s personal life. You don’t know if he’s married. And if he fucked you there, then I’m sure he’s fucking a whole lot of other women. Did you use protection?”

  She really didn’t feel like getting lectured. And she really didn’t want to disclose who it was. She said, “Yes, we used protection.”

  “Good. Is your brother going? Ain’t Eli going?”

  “My brother is scared. You know he got that damn Lonzo and he don’t want nothing getting back to him. I already told Eli that Romyn wasn’t coming. But Gio is supposed to be there.”

  “You’re not afraid of Rock finding out about this?”

  “Rock ain’t my boyfriend. And Rock is fucking other bitches. Until he’s ready to be serious and actually want a life with me, I’m gonna do me.”

  “Well, just be careful,” Tanya said.

  “Okay,” Cassie said.

  “Love ya!”

  “Love you also.” Cassie ended the call and looked at herself one last time. This time she elected to wear a navy blue form fitting strapless midi-dress with her black five inch stilettos.

  Glossing her lips, she noticed Colette’s reflection in the mirror. She turned to her. “What is it?”

  “You’re going out again?”

  Cassie was taken aback. “What do you mean again? Is it a problem?”

  “No, it’s no problem. It’s just I haven’t seen you fix yourself up like this in a while.”

  Cassie took in her mother’s attire that consisted of the usual ensemble: tight red dress and black platform heels. She asked, “Where are you going?”

  “We’re having our annual black and red party at the club,” Colette answered.

  There was a knock at the front door. Colette went to answer it.

  Cassie could hear Colette greeting whoever it was. She grabbed her wristlet and headed out into the hall and entryway. She smiled at the sight of Eli standing there. As usual, he was dressed nicely, but rather casual. He toned it down with a pair of white paint-print black pants and a white distressed t-shirt. No matter how toned down he tried to be, Eli still had a way of making everything he wore fashionable. And Cassie was almost salivating at the sight of his bowed legs.

  He immediately turned up his nose at her in disapproval.

  “What?” she asked as she looked down at herself.

  “The dress aight, but them black shoes need to go. You’re playing it too safe. Go get something else.”

  Colette chuckled as Cassie groaned.

  Cassie pivoted on her heels and headed back to her room. Of course the man that wore orange pants to work would tell her she was playing it safe.

  When she returned, she was wearing her hot pink ankle-strapped heels. She changed out her black wristlet for a floral print one. She even exchanged her accessories to ones that gave off more of a contrast.

  Now Eli gave a nod of approval.

  Cassie was surprised that
Eli had opted to drive his Porsche instead of the SUV. It was very impressive and gave her a feel of luxury, power and importance. As they drove, the both of them were quiet, deep in their own thoughts. Cassie wondered about living a life like the one Eli was privileged to. She always imagined that a lifestyle as his would make all of life’s problems go away. But she knew that wasn’t true just from hearing Eli’s situation. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many possessions a person have; if there’s no love, they feel empty.

  Once in the club, Eli disappeared on her. She turned to say something to him, and he was gone.

  Like last time, she walked slowly, exploring and watching. A few guys spoke to her, but she made sure her body language was uninviting. This time, she decided to go the direction that Tanya went. Just like the other side, people were putting on an erotic show.

  Then she saw him. His eyes were already locked on her. He waved and smiled. She threw him a quick discreet wave. She then wondered how often Sean came to this place. He liked fucking so it wouldn’t surprise her if he came every time they were open. Just as she was about to make her way to him, he walked away heading to a stairwell. She wondered what was up there. She was curious to find out.

  “Excuse me Miss.”

  Cassie turned to face one of the serving ladies with her tray of goodies. She handed Cassie a test tube with green liquid and a note card. Then she walked off.

  Cassie walked over to where one of the recessed lights was reflecting off the wall. The note read: Have a drink then come upstairs. #14

  Feeling like Alice in Wonderland, Cassie downed the shot, but she didn’t grow or shrink. Her anxiety shrunk; however, her desire grew. She made her way to the stairwell. Once she got up there, she realized there were private rooms with numbers on the doors. She walked around until she got to fourteen. Her heart began to race in anticipation. She took a second and inhaled deeply before opening the door. Her first observation was that the room was red all over, including the lighting. Then her attention turned to him sitting on what looked to be an oversized sofa, but it was a bed. Not far from him sat a tray of things they might need.

  He sat, waiting for her. Cassie’s center ached immediately. He was too sexy and the seriousness of his expression was heightening her desire for him.

  She walked over to him, placing her wristlet down. He grabbed her hand to pull her down onto his lap. His touch was electrifying. It jolted her mind back to their first encounter causing her heartbeat to pound between her legs.

  She straddled him making her dress rise up her thighs. If he leaned back he would have a nice view of her panty-less clean-shaven pussy.

  She asked, “Were you watching me the whole time?”

  “Yes. You didn’t seem to be looking for me so I sent that note.” His hands pushed her dress up even more as he cupped her ass. He smiled at the feel of her nakedness. “No panties; I like that.”

  Feeling coy, she looked away. He kissed her neck then her chin. He was in search for her lips. She turned to face him providing him full access. He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. He was asking if she really wanted to do this a second time. She answered by kissing him. They entangled in an impassioned kiss as they rubbed here and there. Her hands went under his shirt traveling all over his muscular body. His one hand continued to squeeze her ass and thigh on that side, while the fingers of the other hand were stirring up her sweet drippings.

  Cassie became hyperaware of her body’s yearnings. Her breast ached and she needed them touched. As if she had spoken out loud, he tugged the bodice of her dress down to expose her breasts. His lips found their way to them to kiss, lick and suck on her nipples. Her body grew mildly hot and her skin tingled. She craved him. She was hungry.

  He groaned with disappointment when she hopped off of him. He asked, “You don’t want to continue?”

  “That’s not it,” she said. She pulled her dress, that had gathered around her waist, completely off and tossed it. She knelt down before him, flipping her bangs in the process. She needed to clearly see for what she was about to do. This was something that she rarely did, but with him, she felt an urge to do it.

  He smiled and began to undo his pants. She helped him because he wasn’t moving fast enough. She had an unceasing need to have him in her mouth. And when she was able to wrap her lips around him, it was like taking the first bite of a delectable, rich dessert. He was every bit as palatable as Cassie imagined.

  Her method was fierce. She was a savage when it came to fellatio…when she chose to do it. She wasn’t neat and orderly with it either. She sucked his dick like she was a feral woman having gone without food, and someone finally threw her a piece of chicken. It was sloppy and wet. She alternated pace and suction pressure, deep throating it to just tending to the head with her lips and tongue, and the usage of her hands.

  “Shit,” he hissed. He grabbed her hair and pulled her off of him. He lowered his face to hers and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

  It was sensual and unexpected. But this gave Cassie the opportunity to look him in the eyes. She wanted to make sure she was pleasing him. At this point, she was his slave and he was her master. Her Maestro. She would do anything he asked to ensure his satisfaction.

  He stood up towering over her as she remained on her knees.

  “Open your mouth,” he demanded.

  She obeyed. He fed her his dick slowly. She went to wrap her hands around him so she could take control but he smacked her hands away.

  “No touching,” he told her. “Keep that mouth open.”

  She let him fuck her in the mouth how he wanted to. He held her by the head and pumped in and out. He got carried away causing her to gag when he jabbed her in the back of the throat.

  He pulled away when it got to be too much. He bent down and kissed her again. “Get up here.”

  Cassie did as she was told. She lay down and watched him remove the rest of his clothing. She was genuinely grateful for the view. His body was perfect. And his dick stuck straight out; no curves or crooks. She was tempted to take him back in her mouth.

  Before she could do so, he was on her. They fastened their lips in an intense heated lock. She could feel the hardness of him brush between her thighs. This caused her clit to start thumping. Her pussy started contracting, remembering what he felt like and was in anticipation of having him inside her again. It was like being ticklish, but before being touched, had a person already giggling because they knew it was coming.

  She felt for his dick. She tried to bring him to her opening but he pulled away. She thrusted her hips forward hoping to get him inside her.

  “You’re going to get it; just hold on.” There was a tease in his voice that drove Cassie crazy. It was like he was purposely evoking more arousal just from making her wait. He took a second to place a condom on. Again, Cassie wasn’t thinking about prophylactics; he just wanted the dick.

  Being limber had its advantages. The ability to have wild, rough sex was one of them. She slowly opened her legs and let them fall on either side of her. It left her wide open for deeper penetration.

  “Now you showing out,” he said with a simper.

  She caught her bottom lip in between her teeth and gave him a sneaky smirk. Just as he fed her orally, he fed her pussy the dick. Once she received him fully on one long, deep stroke, the games stopped. There was no sense of personal intimacy. He savagely fucked her. He let her know who was in control. That cockiness she had when she spread her legs, disappeared. Her legs no longer wanted to be at her sides. Just like the last time, her hands tried to prevent the brutal dick stabbing.

  “Move…”

  She hesitated removing her hands from him.

  Politely, he said, “Move your hands please.”

  She didn’t trust him as she whimpered. She held onto his biceps as he plunged into her several times. She tried to resist the urge to push him and take as much as she could, but it was too much.

  “Jesus!” she cried out as he ea
sed up.

  He started short stroking her while rubbing on her engorged clit. “Are you going to squirt for me?” His voice was thick with seduction.

  She could see the drunken lust in his eyes as he looked down at her. It caused a shiver to course through her body. Her pussy started to grip his shaft repeatedly. This only stimulated her clit even more. She could feel it pulsating against his thumb.

  “Spread your legs again.”

  She did. He pulled out of her and began to eat her pie. Her hardened bud was delicately handled by his tongue. Her breathing deepened. Euphoria blossomed from her gut and spread throughout her body. Her hips rocked back and forth. She clutched at the bed with her mouth gaped, letting out a throaty wail as her body trembled with an overwhelming orgasm.

  She was still whimpering and convulsing when he entered her again. He kissed her lips in a soothing reassuring way to calm her down. That made her crave him more.

  He whispered, “Do I make my Princess feel good?”

  Calling her that was so endearing. It made her heart flutter and caused her to gush even more. Wearing an anguished expression, she spoke hoarsely, “Yes.”

  “Let’s see if we can get this pussy to squirt.”

  She allowed him to push back her legs until her knees were touching her shoulders. He began to fuck her in an unrelenting, unapologetic, deliberate painful manner. But it got his desired results. Her fountain spurted sending her into an orgasmic convulsion. Every time she did it, it drained her.

  Her body was still jerking with aftershock as he positioned her on top. She leaned forward as he eased his dick in her. She released a quivering breath as he filled her up with as much dick as he could. He felt even thicker and harder.

  She worked her hips, thrusting back and forth massaging his shaft. He began to meet her thrusts causing her to bounce. His arms encircled around her waist, and he began pounding her from underneath.

  Her howling turned into the growl of a vicious animal. Her teeth clenched, as she tried to stifle her groans. He groaned with her as the pace quickened.

  “Fuck!” she screamed as she poured on him. She released a guttural sound as her body tensed up.