If You're Willing

by Ivy Symone

  “Exactly. Was!”

  “I said was because you no longer want to acknowledge that anymore. You’re trying to paint me as this bad person so you can feel better about this dumb ass shit you’re doing.”

  She rolled her eyes in aggravation. She headed out of the room. “I’ll be moving out permanently next week.”

  “Huh?” Eli followed her.

  She bypassed his friends in the kitchen and went to the living room throwing her things on the sofa. She headed up the stairs to go to the kids’ room to retrieve some items for Elijah. In doing so, she realized Avani was in her bed sound asleep. She made sure to be quiet as she moved about the room.

  “Hey Kris,” a child’s voice said softly.

  She turned to the doorway and saw Bria standing there. She offered the young girl a smile. “Hey.”

  “Where’s Elijah?” Bria asked. She saw the clothes in Kris’ hands and asked. “Are you going somewhere?”

  “Yeah for a lil while,” Kris answered.

  “Just you and Elijah?” Bria asked.

  Kris nodded as she headed out of the bedroom. Bria was following her.

  “How come you always gone?” Bria asked.

  “Ask your father,” was all Kris could say.

  “He said you ain’t shit, but he told me not to repeat that,” Bria said.

  Kris stopped and looked back at Bria. She was such a pretty girl, but had picked up her father’s foolish behavior. And Bria wore the same emotionless expression as Eli.

  “Go back to bed Bria,” Kris told her. She turned away and continued her journey back downstairs. Of course he would say something like that to a ten year old. He had no couth about himself at all. That’s inappropriate parenting which Yosef had spoken to her about. Naturally he didn’t want his son being raised in the same house as Eli. She couldn’t really blame him.

  Their three year old daughter Avani was all Eli’s. It was obvious. At first she wasn’t even sure about her. She had been with Yosef before, but once Avani turned out to be Eli’s she felt it was only right to be with him. She had left Yosef heartbroken but she thought she was making the right decision. But at one point she was confused, especially since she kept communication with Yosef. She discovered she was pregnant, and once again she wasn’t sure who the father was, but she didn’t bother to tell Eli. By then they were married, and he gave Elijah his last name. Now Yosef wanted his son with him. She planned to get a divorce. She also would get the Masters name removed from Elijah’s birth certificate.

  Eli waited for her at the bottom of the stairs. She ignored him and gathered her other things.

  “You don’t have to leave Kris. I got this house for you and the kids. It was what you wanted, remember?” He spoke in a low voice. “I can go back to the glass house that you hated so much.”

  “I don’t want this house. It’s all yours,” she said.

  “I really hate you right now. You know that?”

  “I really don’t care,” she mumbled. She went for the door but paused. She turned to him so that he could watch her remove her wedding ring set. She placed it on the entryway table, then proceeded to exit out the front door.

  _____

  Tanya, Cassie, and Romyn all exchanged looks when they heard the front door close. Eli never came back in the kitchen.

  “I’ma go check on him,” Cassie whispered. She got up from the stool she had been sitting on and headed towards the front of the house. She spotted Eli sitting on the stairs with Bria.

  “Are you okay?” Cassie asked with concern.

  He nodded, but he didn’t look at her. His eyes were focused elsewhere. Bria wiped his face and that’s when Cassie saw the wetness of his lashes.

  Bria said, “It’ll be alright Daddy. She’ll come back when she realize she stupid.”

  “She ain’t coming back,” Eli said. “And I don’t want you worried about it. But I’m fine Bria. Thank you for caring about me though. Now go back to bed.”

  Bria gave Eli a hug before she ran back upstairs.

  Cassie asked, “What did she say?”

  “She took her ring off and put it on that table,” he said nodding in its direction.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means she don’t wanna be married to my ass no more, Cassie. What the hell you think it would mean?” Eli said smartly.

  “Okay…dang. You ain’t gotta snap on me,” she said. She sat down beside him on the steps.

  “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

  “It’s fine. I know you’re fucked up right now. For what it’s worth, I think Kris is crazy. She doesn’t realize what she has right here. And what about Avani?”

  “Kris is Sarah all over again,” he said.

  She remained silent. Hell, sometimes she questioned if she was Colette all over. It felt like the inner Colette in her wanted to bust out on the scene. It was why she couldn’t go back to that club. It would only provoke it.

  Her eyes shifted to Eli and watched him fidget with the gold chain around his neck. Him doing that was equivalent to her knee bouncing when she was bothered.

  A warm smile spread on her face and she couldn’t resist the urge to ruffle his hair.

  Eli pushed her hand away playfully. “Don't touch my hair lil girl.”

  “Are you going to keep this much length to it for a while?” she asked.

  He combed his fingers through his hair, flattening it a little. “You don't like it?”

  She absolutely adored his hair. She always found herself staring at it. Whenever she stood at his desk at work to show him something, she always admired its shine and wave pattern.

  She said, “I love it. It’s you.” Her heart swelled as she inhaled deeply before speaking her next words. “Eli, you know you deserve to be happy. You don’t have to accept Kris’ shit just because you think she’s the only one that understood you at one point. Don’t let her dumb ass upset you or make you feel like you’re not worthy, or even feel like you’ve failed at this marriage. She’s just stupid. Fuck her and if you want me to, I’ll kick her ass.”

  Eli started laughing. “You so stupid, you know that?”

  Cassie grinned and traced his facial hair with her fingers.

  “Why are you touching me like that?” Eli asked amused.

  Ignoring him, she asked, “Why don’t you grow this out like everybody be wearing nowadays?”

  “I thought about it, but that shit look like it catch all kinds of shit. Food, spit, boogers, booty crumbs, pussy residue…Ain’t nobody got time to be washing out their beards all damn day long.”

  “Booty crumbs?”

  “Yeah, you know niggas is eating ass now, Cassie,” Eli said with a hint of humor.

  Cassie’s stomach was cramping up from laughing so hard. A person never knew what would come out of Eli’s mouth. Although he tried to keep a straight face, he couldn’t refrain from laughing either. But that was Cassie’s mission; to get his mind off of Kris and hopefully her kind words made him feel better.

  Cassie’s phone started buzzing in her hand. She looked at it and saw it was a message from Rock. Whr u at?

  Why was he always trying to keep up with her whereabouts? They weren’t together.

  She text back: where you at nigga?

  “Who is that?” Eli asked.

  “Rock’s stupid ass. I don’t know why he’s texting me wanting to know where I’m at,” she said with a hint of annoyance.

  Eli looked at her clearing his throat with uneasiness. With regret, he began, “I need to tell you something.”

  “What?” she asked. Another text came through. I wanna tlk

  Eli hesitated. “It’s about—”

  The doorbell sounded followed by knocking. Eli frowned, “Who is this? It bet not be Yosef’s ass coming to my house.”

  Cassie watched as Eli answered his door.

  “Where Cassie at?”

  Cassie stood up and looked around Eli. “Rock? Who told you to come over here?”

  Eli
stepped aside so they could have a clear view of each other.

  “Can you come out here real quick?” Rock asked.

  She could see the vexation in his face.

  Eli said, “You can come in here if you want.”

  Rock snarled, “I don’t wanna come in your house nigga. C’mon Cassie.”

  Eli was taken aback. “What the fuck is your problem? You act like I done fucked your mama or some shit. Bye nigga!” And he slammed the door in his face.

  Cassie started snickering. Rock was cussing on the other side of the door. She went for the knob. “Let me see what his problem is.”

  “I’ontruss it,” Eli said. “He talking all crazy and shit, nose flaring. Why he so angry?”

  “I don’t know, but I’ll be alright,” she said. She exited the door, closing it behind her. She glared at Rock. “What is your problem?”

  “My problem? Now I see what yours was. You and this nigga fucking? Is that why you can’t act right with me?”

  Cassie groaned with exasperation. “Rock, if you don’t go on with this shit. What possess you to come over here anyway?”

  “I was on my way to Jah’s house and I saw your shit sitting in his driveway. Why the fuck you over here at night?” Rock questioned.

  “Why? I don’t know. Cause I’m grown and I have free will,” she said smartly. “You ain’t got no right to be asking me anything. I told you to leave me the fuck alone. If and when you see my car over here again, keep it moving. I owe you nothing.”

  “So that’s how you playin’ me?” Rock asked. “You can’t do shit with me but you all in this nigga’s face. You here at his house. You can’t tell me ya’ll ain’t fucking.”

  “Hey, if you had a house I probably would have visited you too,” she said wryly.

  “I hope the mothafucka give you AIDS,” Rock said with hate.

  Cassie snapped. “You one dumb mothafucka. You know that? If anybody get the shit it’ll be your hoe ass sticking your dick in every goddamn thang that smile at you. I ain’t with your stupid ass because you can’t fuck worth shit, lil dick bitch! Always fucking whining and shit. I think I know why you don’t like Eli now. You wanna fuck him, don’tchu? Or maybe you want him to fuck you, you bitch!”

  Rock palmed her face and pushed her as hard as he could sending her flying backwards. The only thing that kept her from hitting the ground was the bushes by the porch steps.

  “You mothafucka!” Cassie screamed before she lunged at him. She was so enraged that she didn’t realize the door had opened and Tanya, Romyn, and Eli had come flying outside.

  When Rock went to repeat his actions, Eli swung on him and connected with his jaw. Not only did the hit stun Rock, but the fact that Eli had been courageous enough to hit him. Infuriated, Rock retaliated.

  Tanya started trying to break them up and screaming at the same time. Then out of nowhere, they heard someone shouting at them. It was Jah running towards the house.

  “Goddamit, ya’ll mothafuckas stop this shit!” Jah shouted. He ran up on Rock and Eli, trying to pry them apart, but something snapped in Eli. He wanted to seriously fuck Rock up. It was evident that people really underestimated Eli’s masculine capabilities.

  Cassie stood back actually impressed. It took Jah having to restrain Eli and push him back towards the house.

  “Bitch! Putcha hands on her again!” Eli shouted angrily around Jah.

  “Fuck you, faggot mothafucka!” Rock spat.

  “C’mon nigga. Take yo’ lil strong ass back in the house,” Jah urged. He was out of breath as he pushed Eli. Over his shoulder he said, “Rock, getcho dumb ass off this man’s property!”

  Rock wiped at the blood oozing from his busted lip. Nostrils flaring and glaring at Cassie, Rock began to walk away.

  Tanya looked at Cassie. “Are you okay?”

  Cassie nodded. “Let me go in here and check on Eli.” She shot Rock one last look. She didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he was no longer her concern. He fucked up big time.

  Chapter 11

  Being at work for two days without Eli’s presence felt weird to Cassie. She ended up working close with Tanya and Gio while he was gone. She called and checked on him, but he assured her he was okay; he just wasn’t in a talking mood.

  “Is he alright?” Tanya asked. She waited for Cassie to end the call with Eli. It was Wednesday and Cassie had called him every day.

  “He sound the same as he did Monday,” she said. She looked troubled. “I wonder if he’s mad at me.”

  “Why would he be?” Tanya asked. “You’re not the one that acted a donkey, Rock did. Rock had no business coming over there asking anybody shit.”

  “I know, but Eli was defending me. He probably mad cause I got his pretty face bruised up. You know how he is,” she chuckled.

  Tanya laughed. “Oh yeah bitch. He mad about that shit.”

  Gio came walking around the corner wearing a big grin. In his hand was a bouquet of yellow red-tipped roses.

  “Somebody is very special today,” Gio teased.

  “Who them for?” Tanya asked.

  Gio walked up to Cassie and handed them over. “They’re yours. I was up front when they came. There’s a card in there.”

  Cassie was flabbergasted. She had never had a man to give her flowers. She took the roses from him and plucked the card out.

  “Bitch, these are pretty. Who sending you flowers?” Tanya said excitedly.

  Cassie shrugged. She looked at Gio. He was still grinning and waiting for her to read the card.

  Silently she read: I crave you Princess

  Cassie’s breathing quickened and her heart began to pound in her chest, sending its echo to her pussy. God! She said she wasn’t going back to that club. She told him Saturday, that she didn’t think they should continue this. He act as though he understood. She tried to clear her mind of him, but every night when she closed her eyes, he popped into her mind leaving her having to satisfy herself. Now he was sending her roses making her panties wet.

  Tanya snatched the card from her. “Let me see this.”

  Cassie wondered if Eli planned to return to the club the upcoming Saturday. He probably wasn’t in the mood after what went down Sunday night. She could go on her own now, but it would feel weird arriving there by herself.

  “Damn!” Tanya exclaimed. “They craving you. What the fuck you got between them legs? Whatchu done did Princess, got a nigga craving your ass?”

  Cassie blushed. “Nothing.”

  “Are you going to tell me who he is?” Tanya asked.

  Cassie’s eyes shifted to Gio. He was smiling knowingly. She got up from her chair at Tanya’s desk and walked into Eli’s office. She sat behind his desk to use his phone and dialed his number.

  He answered, “Hello?”

  “Hey Eli, it’s me,” she whispered.

  “Cassie? I thought it was somebody important calling from the company. Didn’t we just get off the phone?”

  “Yeah, yeah…we did. But I just got a delivery of roses, right? They’re from my maestro. And even though I said I wasn’t going back to the club, I think I need to go this Saturday. Are you going?”

  “Time out. Your what?”

  “My maestro,” she giggled.

  “What the fuck is that? Ain’t that like a music conductor or some shit?”

  “Well, it can also mean whiz, master, expert…In my case, it’s master. Maestro of my body,” she said.

  There was a pause on Eli’s end.

  “Eli?”

  “You dumb as hell, you know that? But anyway…Why are you calling me?”

  “I wanna go back to the club. Are you going?”

  “Why are you whispering?”

  “Cause I’m at work nigga. Should I be screaming this shit letting everybody know I want my boss to take me back to a sex club?”

  “And you bet not either,” he threatened. He said, “I’m not sure if I’m gonna feel like it, but I’ll let you know.”

  She was
disappointed. “When will you let me know?”

  “Probably Saturday,” he said.

  “Okay.”

  With a curious tone, he said, “I thought you said you weren't going back though. What changed your mind?”

  Cassie’s smile grew so big, her face ached. “The flowers; he’s thinking about me. And now I’m thinking about him.”

  “What color did you get?”

  She was confused. “Huh?”

  “The roses.”

  “Oh,” she giggled. She looked at them and said, “They’re yellow with red tips.”

  “What do you think your maestro is trying to convey with that color choice?” he asked.

  She had no idea. She shrugged as if he could see her. “I don’t know. I’ll have to look it up.”

  Eli laughed. “Bye Cassandra.”

  She snickered as she placed the phone back on its base. She went back out to Tanya’s desk and sat down. “Hey, look up rose color meaning.”

  Tanya pecked away at her keyboard. She clicked on a link that took them to a list of various colors of roses and their meaning, with a diagram of each. They found the one that resembled hers. It said: friendship and falling in love.

  Tanya’s mouth dropped open. “This nigga falling in love with the pussy. No wonder Rock tripping. Cassie must got that snapper.”

  “Shut-up,” Cassie said playfully hitting her. She wanted to gloat and enjoy the giddiness bubbling inside, but she had to keep her feelings in check. This could go in a direction she might not be ready to go in.

  She got up again, with the roses. “I’ll be back.” She went back in Eli’s office. This time she called her friend. She couldn’t let Tanya hear her conversation, because she would be shamed for even talking to him. But she had to go back to the club just to see her maestro.

  _____

  The following day in the office, Cassie was glad to see Eli had returned. He was there before she got there which was unusual. Leave it to Eli to return looking runway ready. From one day to the next, they never knew what they would get from Eli. One day, he could wear black slacks with a black button down and look completely normal. The next day he could show up in some bright ensemble that didn’t match in pattern or color, but he made it hot. Today, he wore pink slacks with the matching vest over a baby blue dress shirt finished with a solid navy tie. The beige leather belt matched the beige Versace loafers on his feet. She only knew the shoes were Versace because of the gold-tone logo in the front. The gold logo complemented the gold chains and buttons of his vest along with the gold of his jewelry.