How Deep Is Your Love 3

by Jade Royal

  “Good,” Denzel said. “So if he’s not in the room with you, take that shit off. You know I like to see your skin.”

  “You’re gonna get my riled up and I don’t wanna wake up to a puddle between my damn legs.”

  “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about it. When we meet at the gallery, I’ll give you a quickie.” Charm snickered, as she took off her shirt and bared her skin for him.

  The plan was that for an allotted time she would work at the gallery, and then come back to the house to keep an eye on Terrell. But after the first day of doing so, everything began to derail.

  ********

  “Where’s she at?” Jason asked, looking out the gallery window. They had planned a meeting about more upcoming events, but the damn owner of the company was a no show. Charm was almost an hour late, and she hadn’t sent word out to anyone about what was going on. She’d been home with Terrell for only a damn week and the man had practically taken over her life again.

  “It’s only been a week,” Brianna said. “Imagine this going on any longer.” Denzel was sitting in a corner, quiet. He was afraid to speak, because he didn’t want his anger to start spewing accusations. But he was worried. He didn’t know what Charm was doing with Terrell and it honestly scared him. They talked on the phone every night since she went home with him, but each day, there was something more she had to do for him.

  “There she is,” Jason said, spotting Terrell’s car pull up. Charm hopped out and ran into the gallery. She was out of breath and looked like she got dressed in 5 minutes.

  “I’m so sorry, guys,” she groaned. “I overslept, and then Terrell was screaming for help and Destiny just fucking sat there, and let the man nearly drown in the fucking tub.” Charm shook her head and tried to get her breathing under control.

  “Sis, you look a hot mess,” Brianna said.

  “I know,” Charm said, on the verge of tears. “I just didn’t know it would have been this hard to manage Terrell, plus, keep up at the gallery.” Charm looked at Denzel. His eyes were expressionless and his jawline was tight.

  “Yeah, I’d give that a few minutes,” Jason said. Charm just nodded. They gathered around in a circle and let the meeting continue. It took Denzel about 20 minutes before he was calm enough to talk to Charm.

  “Are you okay?” He asked her.

  “Not really. But I’ll manage.”

  “Has he been looking for that nurse?”

  “Yes. We had a few interviews, but they just weren’t the right match and I’d hate to leave just any random person to care for him.”

  “Sounds like you’re really concerned.” Charm rolled her eyes.

  “Of course, I’m concerned. Just like you were concerned about Gabby when she wasn’t eating and she looked like shit. I may not like the man, Denzel, but I do have a fucking heart.”

  “Don’t fault me for being upset,” he said. “I can’t help it.”

  “I know that. But how about this?” She went into her purse and pulled out the divorce papers she’d gotten from the courts. She hadn’t told Denzel she was getting them, because she wanted to surprise him.

  “I already had James look them over. He said they’re ready to be signed.”

  “When’d you do this?” Denzel gasped.

  “Terrell was taking an afternoon nap a few days ago and I ran out to go do it. James came the next day to look them over. I wanted to surprise you, so I didn’t say anything.” Denzel cupped her face and kissed her softly, before exploring her mouth with his tongue. Charm groaned and melted in his arms. Even though they were supposed to be having quickies to keep up with their sex life, it just hadn’t happened. Either Charm was late, or she had to run off early to take care of Terrell. It all sucked, but she knew in the end after helping him this way, she could plead to Terrell to sign the papers.

  “It’s going to be worth it in the end,” she whispered to him. “I promise.”

  “I just miss you,” he sighed.

  “I miss you too.” He ran his hand through her hair.

  “It’s getting long again,” he smiled.

  “Ugh, I know. I need a trim.”

  “Look, how about tonight you get Terrell to bed early, and I take you out for dinner. You need a break from that man.” Charm’s eyes lit up. Yes, yes she did need a break.

  “Deal!” She said. Denzel kissed her before they both got down to work.

  Later that night, she got Terrell in bed early, but she didn’t give him any meds yet. She wanted to make him take them just before she left, so that way, he’d sleep while she was gone. Destiny was sure enough lying next to him in bed when Charm walked into the room.

  “Here’s your meds,” Charm said, giving him the pills in a small cup.

  “Where are you going?” He asked, looking her up and down. The chiffon shorts and matching top she was wearing looked delectable on her, so much that he wanted to pull her down in bed with him.

  “No worries about that. Take your meds.”

  “She’s going on a date with her man,” Destiny said. Charm rolled her eyes.

  “I’ll be back before midnight, Terrell. If you take your meds, you know you’ll be knocked out way before then.”

  “I feel really uncomfortable with you being gone,” he said.

  “Nothing will happen to you, alright? My ride is outside. I’ll be back in a few hours.” She patted his thigh before walking out of the room. And once she was outside she felt a sense a freedom, especially because she was with Denzel.

  First, they caught a movie, and then he took her out to dinner. But it was during dinner that her phone began to ding repeatedly. She wanted to put it on silent, but then again, if Terrell actually needed her she wouldn’t know. His first messages were just concerned ones, asking how much longer she’d be. But every time she picked her phone up to answer one of his messages, Denzel would give her a look.

  I hope I don’t die while you’re riding his dick, Terrell wrote her. Charm smirked. He was such an asshole. Denzel put his knife and fork down and cleared his throat. When Charm looked at him she say the anger flashing behind his eyes.

  “He’s entertaining you more than I am right now?” Denzel asked.

  “No, it’s not like that. I’m just laughing at his asshole-ness. Relax,” she laughed.

  “It’s hard for me to find anything funny right now, Charm.” Charm’s smile faded. Denzel waved the waitress over.

  “Can I have the check please? And a to go bag.”

  “We’re leaving?” Charm gasped.

  “I’m trying to spend time with you, Charm. And for the last hour you’ve been going back and forth texting him, and smiling at whatever the fuck he’s saying. I don’t care if he’s being an asshole and it’s funny. You’re point blank giving him more attention than you’re giving me and honestly, I feel disrespected. I don’t wanna go hulk in here, so I’m just going to opt to leave. We’ll talk about it later when you have time for me.”

  “Don’t be such a fucking drama king, Denzel. It’s not that serious!”

  “Maybe to you,” he stated. “But if the roles were reversed, you’d have my fucking head for giving Gabby more attention than you. Especially while we’re out on a fucking date, no less.” Charm packed up her unfinished food angrily. She didn’t want to have to fight with him, but he was beyond reasoning with. And she wasn’t going to be victim to his anger again so she kept her mouth shut.

  He paid the bill, then waited for her to get her things before he led the way out of restaurant. As he drove her back to the house, he didn’t say anything. He barely even spoke to her. Charm didn’t want to leave things like that, so when he pulled up to the house, Charm didn’t immediately get out of his car.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. He just breathed deeply. “I’m trying, you know? I really am.” He didn’t seem like he was going to answer her, so Charm leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek. When she pulled away, Denzel pulled her back, and kissed her on the lips. Charm sighed at th
e touch, grateful he at least kissed her. But he still didn’t speak. So she took her kiss and went on her way. She seriously needed to sort her shit out before she lost what was most important to her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Denzel pulled up to his place after dropping Charm off. He was still upset about the whole thing, which is why he had kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to say something he was going to regret again. He wanted to just get inside and flop down in his bed. He’d never felt like drinking before, but now he felt like he wanted a cold damn beer. He was stressed the hell out. In the back of his mind he knew they were going to go through shit like this, because their journey was going to be a rough one. And the road was just getting bumpier and bumpier. Slumping out of his car, Denzel walked slowly up to his place. A small figure was sitting on the front steps of the building with their knees pressed against their chest. It was dark out, so Denzel didn’t see who it was until he got close.

  “Go home, Gabby,” he said. He punched in the code to get into the loft building. Gabby stood, but she didn’t make moves to leave.

  “I came back for my next fuck,” she said. Denzel chuckled at her.

  “Go home,” he repeated.

  “Or I can just go to the cops,” she shrugged. Denzel ignored her and went inside. Sure enough, she followed him, but he didn’t stop her or speak to her. When he got onto the elevator, she had to squeeze onto it before the doors locked. Denzel leaned against the wall.

  “I told you I was going to come back,” she said.

  “I’m not having sex with you, Gabby. You got what you wanted the first time and that was to secure you didn’t go to the cops. We’re not doing it again.”

  “But we have to!” She snapped.

  “Why?” He asked. “What is it that you’re trying to achieve?”

  “I just want you back,” she said, stomping her foot. They got off the elevator and Denzel turned his back to his loft.

  “I don’t want you back, Gabby. I can have sex with you from here ‘til Timbuctoo. It’s not gonna happen.” Gabby crossed her arms. Her eyes began to water and Denzel saw a break in that tough façade she was trying to put up.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Denzel asked her, softly.

  “Tell you what?” She asked, brushing a tear away.

  “That you had a disorder?” Gabby hadn’t realized that she had seen the name of the pills that had fallen from her purse. She thought she’d took it from him before he got a chance. But maybe it was time to come clean.

  “Let me in and we’ll just talk,” she said. Denzel wanted to know why she hadn’t told him and what were some things that happened that triggered her disorder so he invited her inside.

  “Charm’s not here?” She asked.

  “No. She’s back with Terrell. He’s out of the hospital, so he needed help. Charm is helping him out.”

  “So you two aren’t seeing each other anymore?” She asked, hope filling her voice.

  “Don’t even,” he said. “We’re still seeing each other.” Gabby slumped her shoulders as she sat down.

  “How long have you’ve been diagnosed?” Denzel asked, sitting across from her.

  “Since I was a kid,” she said.

  “Really? And you haven’t said a word about it? In all the years we’ve known each other?”

  “I was embarrassed. I was dating one of the most popular boys in our high school and then college. You think I wanted to tell you that I was sick? That sometimes, shit goes on in my head that I don’t even fucking understand? That I have to pop pills or I’ll lose my fucking mind?”

  “Those things don’t matter to me!” He stated. “I would have supported you, Gabby. You know that.”

  “I was just afraid. Or maybe it was the irrational part of my brain. I don’t know.”

  “Do you think your condition affected some things in our relationship?” Denzel asked.

  “When I disappeared for couple of days, or we didn’t speak, that’s because I was seeing my psychiatrist. Sometimes, I get completely derailed and I have to get reeled in by someone. Often times I think I don’t need my medication and then shit hits the fan.” Denzel rubbed his eyes. Now all her behavioral issues made sense. He just never attributed it to her having a disorder. But she still had her other problems; like her being self-centered.

  “That explains a lot of things. But you should have told me.”

  “Would you have left me?”

  “I left you, Gabrielle, because you want marriage and I didn’t. I didn’t want to keep stringing you along, so I decided to let you go. Plus, you weren’t really acting like wifey material honestly.”

  “See, I don’t know if that was actually me, or my damn disorder making me act a way!” Denzel clasped his hands together. He really didn’t know what he could say.

  “Why were you blackmailing Charm?”

  “I don’t know. I just want you to myself. She’s in my way, and after she beat me up, I thought that was the way to get her away from you. Or at least, in my head, that was the best way to handle the situation.”

  “It wasn’t the right way,” Denzel told her. “That was pretty fucked up. Plus, telling her what you told her after you killed my baby.” He shook his head.

  “I swear, it’s like I don’t even recall the things that come out of my damn mouth.” Silence spilled through the both of them.

  “Denzel,” she whispered, after five minutes went by.

  “What?”

  “I know you don’t want to hear about the abortion, but I want to tell you something.” Denzel clenched his fists and kept his breathing even.

  “Tell me.” He braced himself for the conversation, knowing it was going to be hard.

  “I told my sister that I was pregnant. She’s the first person I told. And this was after I was highly upset that night we had our date, and you said you wouldn’t marry me. So I was crying to her, saying that I was pregnant, and I didn’t know what to do, because you didn’t want to marry me. She told me that if you wouldn’t even marry me, then you probably wouldn’t want a baby either.” She paused and grabbed up a napkin to wipe her eyes.

  “I panicked, because I started to believe you’d reject the baby too. I hadn’t been taking my meds, because I thought I had everything under control. And then the next thing I know, I’m at the fucking clinic, and the nurse is telling me the procedure went well. I don’t know what decisions I made, but obviously, I made it myself. My signatures were everywhere and it was done. So I made the appointment and I got an abortion, and now, when I think about it, it’s like a fucking blur. Like I blacked out or something. I knew what I did and I knew you’d be upset, so I hid from you until I recovered from the process.” By the end of her rant, she was full out crying and Denzel had to strain to hear her.

  “And then I keep having those fucking dreams about the baby with the locks, and I know it’s the baby I killed. And I’ve felt like shit ever since then, and I just wanted you back. I don’t want to move on without you. I can’t.” Her shoulders shook as she cried. Denzel watched her, feeling sorry for her. Knowing that she had a disorder didn’t deter the fact that he would have still wanted the baby. But he didn’t know if he was still supposed to be angry at her about what she did. What if she just didn’t know what she was doing?

  “Oh, Gabby,” he sighed. “I wished you would have told me.” He grabbed another napkin and gave it to her so she could wipe her face. She sniffled and took several deep breaths before finally looking at him. Her eye was still black, but it was started to fade. Her nose was red.

  “I know it doesn’t make you forgive me,” she sighed. “But it was worth it that you know.”

  “Do you think you can do my a favor?” Denzel asked him.

  “What?” She questioned.

  “Can you stop trying to ruin what me and Charm are trying to build?”

  “But her husband-”

  “It doesn’t matter, Gabrielle. If she goes back to Terrell, then so be it. Me and you
still won’t work out. So just let everything play out the way it’ll play out and not try and sabotage it. Please.”

  “I don’t want to let you go,” she whispered.

  “You have to,” he said. “The man you’re looking for is probably out there. Don’t be blind to him because you’re running after me. And face it, it’s making the both of us miserable.”

  “I’ll stop everything,” she said. “Under one condition.”

  “Oh boy,” Denzel said, getting up.

  “It’s not bad,” Gabby said, standing as well.

  “What?”

  “I’ll stop sabotaging you and Charm, and causing a mess of things, IF me and you can still just be friends.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it was that simple.

  “Hm… Maybe in the future,” Denzel said.

  “Why not now?” She asked. She blinked at him her eyes almost childlike. Denzel had to think in terms of her disorder again. She probably just didn’t get it.

  “You threatened to get the woman I’m trying to build a relationship with, locked up, unless I had sex with you. We’re not going to be friends right now. But maybe in time.” Gabrielle nodded in acceptance.

  “Thanks for talking with me,” she said. Denzel went to his front door and opened it. He knew the next step was her asking him to stay over, but he wasn’t dealing with that. Not tonight. Thankfully, she just gave him a hug then hurried out of the loft.

  ********

  “Thanks for the food, baby,” Terrell said, as Charm cleaned up his plates. He rubbed her arm, but Charm knocked his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me, and don’t call me that,” she said, firmly. He only smirked at her if he knew he was getting under her skin. Charm left the room and went to the kitchen to wash up and put things in the dishwater. Destiny was lurking around as usual, rubbing her barely existent baby bump. Charm went straight back to Terrell’s bedroom after picking up the divorce papers from her room. Since she had them she was actually a little nervous about talking to him about it. But after the date went wrong with Denzel, and now days later, he wasn’t really talking to her like he used to, Charm wanted her man back.