She squeezed Kirsten’s foot gently as her heart soared with the declaration. “So, what happened with John last night?”
Kirsten sighed. “I met him for dinner to tell him I wanted a divorce. He probably thought I was going to tell him we could try again. I didn’t intend on telling him about you, but he asked me if I had feelings for someone else. I just couldn’t lie to him. We might not have had much intimacy in our marriage, but we’ve always been honest with each other.” Kirsten began to cry. “I swear I didn’t want to hurt him, but we never had much of a marriage, and we both deserve more.”
Jordan continued to caress Kirsten’s legs, offering her encouragement and comfort.
“I told him that we deserved more than we could give each other. He asked me if I was seeing someone else, and I said no because at that time, you and I were still just friends. But then he asked me if I was interested in someone else, and I told him. He exploded. He said I wasn’t a lesbian. He asked if we’d slept together, and I told him we hadn’t but that I wanted to.”
Jordan’s stomach fluttered at Kirsten’s words, but she also winced. Despite the arousal that shot through her at hearing Kirsten say she wanted to sleep with her, she almost felt sorry for John. She knew what it was like to lose someone you love to another person.
“Then he stood and crashed into the waiter, sending food flying into the air. When I offered to help him up, he slapped my hand away and told me not to touch him.”
Jordan was seized by the desire to slap him. She no longer felt sorry for him, the bastard.
“I hadn’t planned on telling you until this morning, but I felt so safe in your arms last night that it gave me the courage to admit how I feel about you.”
Jordan slid her body the length of the couch until she and Kirsten were lying facing each other. She kissed Kirsten, a lingering, sweet kiss full of hope. She released the kiss, rested her forehead against Kirsten’s, and closed her eyes.
Jordan’s fear came to the surface; she couldn’t suppress it any longer. This was a life-changing event for her, and she couldn’t hide her anxiety, not from Kirsten. She felt she could talk to her about anything and everything. “I’m scared, Kirsten. I want so much to be with you, but I’m afraid I won’t be enough for you, or you’ll want to go back to men.”
Kirsten grabbed her face and forced her to make eye contact. “What do you mean, ‘go back to men’? Do you think I’ll be like Kelly? That I’ll cheat on you?”
Jordan gave a small shake of her head. “I don’t think you’d cheat on me, but you might realize that you really don’t want to be with a woman…that you don’t want to be with me.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I would never do that to you. I want to be with you, Jordan.”
Jordan was now crying as Kirsten tried in vain to kiss away the tears. “Please don’t break my heart, Kirsten. Please.”
Kirsten held Jordan in her arms, offering silent promises.
Emotionally and physically exhausted, they spent the rest of the morning entwined in each other’s arms, napping. When they woke a few hours later, they spent some time kissing, not the type of kisses to arouse but to comfort. They agreed they were both a little hungry and could stand to have a little snack. They walked hand in hand to the kitchen and began cutting fruit and slices of cheese then brought the plate back to the living room, where they resumed their places on the couch.
They had finished the fruit and cheese and decided to make themselves comfortable on the couch, lying on their sides with Kirsten’s back to Jordan’s front. Jordan wrapped an arm around her waist and started nuzzling her neck. She let slip little sighs of pleasure as Jordan nibbled and kissed her skin.
“Oh, God, Jordan. You’re making it very hard for me not to drag you back to your bedroom.”
Jordan softly laughed near her ear. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to behave myself.”
“You’d better, Ms. Roberts, since it was your idea to take it slow.”
Jordan pulled her closer. “I know, I know. I promise to behave. So, where were we before I so rudely interrupted?”
“I think I was about to ask you what your favorite color is before you distracted me.”
“It’s blue. The shade of your eyes, to be exact.”
She turned to face Jordan. She couldn’t believe how sweet Jordan was. Jordan made her feel things she’d never felt before, all with a simple declaration or look. Jordan seemed to be open with her feelings, and she couldn’t believe that Jordan cared enough to let her in. “That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”
She kissed Jordan, lingering a little longer than she probably should have considering they were supposed to be taking things slow, but before she knew it, she was probing Jordan’s warm mouth with her tongue, and her entire body was heating up.
As the kissing continued, Kirsten’s heart beat faster, and the butterflies in her stomach threatened to escape. This was what she’d been missing her whole life. This was the passion she’d been waiting for. And she’d finally found it in the most extraordinary woman she’d ever met. Kirsten’s wandering hands found Jordan’s firm ass, and she pulled Jordan closer to her.
Jordan let out a moan before breaking the kiss. “Jesus. Baby, we need to take a time out.”
She started nibbling on Jordan’s neck as she was squeezing the flesh beneath her fingers. Jordan trembled in her arms “And why is that?”
“You’re gonna make me come just with your kisses. Fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on.”
She took mercy on Jordan and moved her hands to the safety of her back and removed her lips from Jordan’s neck. “I can’t seem to help myself. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I just need a few minutes to calm down. Let’s talk some more, so we can both cool off.”
“Okay, but if we’re going to talk, we can’t be lying down on the couch because in this position, I just want to keep kissing and touching you.”
“Fair enough, but just for the record, I love holding you in my arms.”
“I love it, too, sweetheart.”
They sat up, and Jordan looked at the clock. “It’s getting to be around lunch time. Are you hungry?”
“Sure. I could eat.”
“Okay. You stay here and read the paper. I’ll go make us some sandwiches.”
When Jordan went to the kitchen, Kirsten thought about how easy it was to be with her. Even though Jordan was the first woman she’d felt this strongly about, she wasn’t nervous, which surprised her. Everything with Jordan just seemed natural. Her heart warmed when she thought about the way Jordan looked at her and made her feel so precious.
A few minutes later, Jordan returned and placed their plates on the coffee table.
“I have a game tonight. Would you like to go?”
“I’d love to. Actually, I think Brenda’s game is right before yours. Can we get there a little early to watch the end of her game?”
“We can get there to watch the whole thing. Um…are you going to tell her about us? I mean, I don’t know how out you want to be, but I’ll support whatever you choose.”
Kirsten laughed. “Well, she kind of already knows. I mean, not about what happened last night, but I told her I was attracted to you and that we kissed.”
Jordan’s shocked expression made her laugh again, and she continued. “It was the day after we kissed. Bren and I went hiking, and I told her about our time in the pool and that you seemed upset, which made me upset. She helped me calm down. I was such a mess. I thought I had driven you away, and by that time, I couldn’t imagine not having you in my life. She told me to be patient and wait until you were ready to talk. She was right, as usual, and if you tell her that, I’ll deny every word.”
“Brenda seems cool. I want to get to know her better since she’s so special to you.”
“That means a lot to me. I want to get to know Alex better, too. What do you think she’ll say about us being together?”
“She’ll be thri
lled. She’s been on my ass forever to finally give someone a chance, and she really likes you. She’s noticed me developing feelings for you, too, but she’s the type of person to let me find my way while discreetly giving me a little kick in the butt to point me in the right direction. She was with me in the coffeehouse the day I first saw you and was quite amused to see me dumbstruck.” Jordan chuckled. “I had never seen a woman as striking and radiant as you.” Jordan brought her hand to her mouth and kissed her palm. “And I never will.”
Kirsten gasped. “Oh, Jordan, you take my breath away with the things you say.”
“I mean every word.” Jordan kissed her.
Kirsten wrapped her arms around Jordan and held her, never wanting to leave this spot. She sighed and gave Jordan a squeeze. “As much as I hate to do this, I should go home and get ready for tonight. I seriously doubt my dress from last night would be appropriate to wear to your game.”
Jordan leered at her playfully. “Not only would it not be appropriate, but I’d never be able to concentrate on my game. Let me get you some sweats to wear home.”
Kirsten got dressed, gathered her things, and walked with Jordan to the door. Jordan cupped her face and kissed her good-bye.
“I’ll see you soon, baby. Drive carefully.”
“I promise. See you in a little while.”
As Kirsten drove away, she marveled at the sense of peace that had stolen over her. What she had with Jordan was still so new, but she felt they were off to a great start.
Chapter Thirty-five
Kirsten drove back to Jordan’s, so they could drive to the gym together. She decided to leave her overnight bag in the backseat of her car, not wanting to be presumptuous in thinking Jordan would invite her to stay over.
Hormonally, she was more than ready to make love to Jordan. When Jordan kissed her or nibbled on her neck or caressed her body, she became wet and more aroused than she’d ever been. She was also ready emotionally. She hadn’t been entirely honest the night before when she’d told Jordan she had feelings for her—she was already in love. She’d fallen long ago.
But she also knew about Jordan’s history—and her fear—and she didn’t want to scare Jordan with the depth of her emotions. She knew in her heart that Jordan had feelings for her, too, but her phobia of being hurt again would hold her back. Kirsten decided she would let Jordan be in control and decide when she was ready to give her heart fully. I can be patient. I have waited all my life for her, after all.
She knocked on the door. Jordan answered wearing her baggy sweats; her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Kirsten thought they looked like polar opposites, with her being all dressed up and Jordan wearing her basketball clothes, but she knew Jordan would dress similarly before they went out after the game. Jordan smiled when she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her neck. Kirsten reached up to kiss her.
“I missed you,” she murmured against Jordan’s lips. Jordan had a way of making her knees weak.
“I missed you, too.” Jordan kissed her a few more times before leaning back and looking her up and down. “You look spectacular. Maybe we’ll just come back here after the game. I don’t want to have to beat up any girls tonight at the bar. ‘Move along, ladies. She’s mine.’” Jordan moved her hand in a shooing motion, making her giggle.
“Yours, huh?” Kirsten was smiling so broadly, she thought her cheeks would crack.
Jordan looked trapped and horrified all at once. “Uh…”
“Your what, exactly?” Kirsten couldn’t resist teasing her.
“Uh, you know. The proverbial mine.”
“I see. So I’m proverbially yours, huh?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, if you want to be. I sort of thought we had already established that.”
“We never talked about specifics, but I’m really glad you think so. Nothing would make me happier than to be yours, proverbially or otherwise.”
“It makes me happy too, baby. I think we should kiss to seal the deal.” Jordan grinned and puckered up with fish lips.
She cupped her hand behind Jordan’s head and gave her a scorcher. When Kirsten finally released her, Jordan’s eyes were a little crossed. “Come on, we have to get to the gym to cheer Brenda on.”
“Right. Brenda. Gym.” Jordan laughed as she grabbed her gym bag and led her to the car.
They arrived at the gym right as the buzzer sounded to start the game. They sat and cheered on Brenda and her team until Jordan had to go warm up for her own game. When the game ended, Jordan took the floor to join her team, and Brenda slipped into her sweats and came up into the bleachers to sit next to Kirsten.
Kirsten gave her a hug. “Great job tonight, Bren.”
“Thanks. I’m glad to see you here. How did your dinner with John go last night?”
Her smile turned into a frown. “Ugh. It was a huge mess. I told him that we should get a divorce and that we both deserved to be happy. He asked me if I was seeing someone, and I told him no. But then he asked if I was interested in someone, I told him I was interested in Jordan. I’ve never lied to him, and I wasn’t about to start. Well, he flipped out and caused quite a scene. I hated hurting him, Bren, but he deserves to have a wife that will love him the way he should be loved.” Kirsten wiped an errant tear from her eye. “I was so upset, I didn’t know what to do. I got in my car to go home, but before I knew it, I was knocking on Jordan’s door.”
Brenda hugged her. “I’m so sorry the night turned out so badly.”
“I was a mess, but Jordan was so sweet. She took care of me, told me I could talk about it when I felt comfortable, and held me while I slept.” She lowered her voice and leaned close to Brenda. “I told Jordan I was falling for her. She feels the same for me.” Her smile returned, and she was giddy.
Brenda looked shocked. “Really?”
“Yep. But she wants to take it slow. I don’t want to tell her story, but she was hurt very badly by a girlfriend when she was younger and is afraid to get hurt again. So we’re going to date.”
“Date, huh? Exclusively?”
Kirsten was a bit uncertain. “Um, I assume so. We haven’t really discussed that part of it. Oh, God, Brenda, what if she wants to continue dating other women?” She was sick to her stomach.
“Now hold on there, honey. Don’t panic. You can talk about this with her and agree on what’s best for both of you. I think it’s a good idea to date and not get too serious too quickly, though. You just decided to divorce your husband, and that’s going to take a lot of time and energy for you. Just relax and enjoy each other.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, you’re right. I have to tell you though, that woman does things to me that I’ve never experienced before.”
“Tell me!” Brenda said excitedly.
“Not here. Why don’t you come over tomorrow? We’ll float in the pool, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“You got yourself a deal. I’ll bring some food, and we can have a late lunch or early dinner.”
“Wonderful. We’re going to Lucy’s tonight after the game. Are you going to be there?”
“Of course. I just have to run home and shower, but I’ll be there.”
“Good. I want you to get to know Jordan better, and I know she wants to do the same. She’s really special, Bren.”
“She seems like it. I look forward to talking with her more. You know, as your best friend, I may have some questions for her regarding her intentions toward you.”
Kirsten laughed. She knew how much Brenda cared for her, and if the situation were reversed, she would do the same. The buzzer sounded throughout the gym, and Kirsten leaned forward with her elbows on her knees to watch Jordan show off her basketball skills.
The game ended up being a blowout. Jordan’s team beat their opposition by almost twenty points. Kirsten and Brenda walked down the bleachers, and Kirsten greeted Jordan with a warm hug and a beaming smile.
“You were great, sweetheart.”
&nbs
p; “Thanks. Hey, Brenda. You want to join us for a beer in a little while?”
“Absolutely. I’m going to go get cleaned up, and I’ll meet you there. Save me a seat.”
Kirsten wrapped her arm around Jordan’s waist. “C’mon. We have some celebrating to do.”
*
Jordan and Kirsten arrived at Lucy’s just after ten p.m., and Kirsten went to find a place for them to sit while Jordan got the beer. When Jordan got to the table, she found Brenda chatting with Kirsten. She put the three mugs and pitcher down, and Kirsten started to pour.
“Hey,” Jordan said to Brenda. “Did you just get here?”
“Yeah, just a few minutes before you did. I was talking with my friends at the pool table when I saw you two walk in.”
Jordan took a seat near Kirsten and placed her hand on Kirsten’s thigh. She had to stifle a laugh when she felt Kirsten’s muscles tighten. She always loved the responses she was able to evoke from the women she slept with, but with Kirsten, it was different. It was more than desire with her; it was much deeper, more profound, and Jordan loved this much more. She looked into Kirsten’s eyes and smiled. “Did you tell Brenda the good news?”
“I did.” Kirsten smiled back with adoration in her eyes.
Jordan turned to Brenda. “So, what do you think?”
Brenda smiled, too. “I’m happy for you both.” All too quickly, Brenda’s smiling face turned stone cold. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Jordan, but Kirsten is my best friend, and if you do anything to hurt her…”
She didn’t need Brenda to finish her threat. “I know you know I’ve slept with a lot of women without any attachment, but I feel differently toward Kirsten. The time I’ve spent getting to know her made it clear to me that she’s special and deserves to be treated as such. I promise both of you that I will never intentionally hurt her, and I will always show her respect. I’m a little out of practice, but I want to take her on dates and get to know her better. She deserves to be wooed, and I want to be the one that woos her.”
New Beginnings Page 17