A Boy's Christmas Wish

by Patricia Johns

  He slammed his car door and headed around to the side entrance. He needed to have this conversation when Luke wasn’t here—and considering that this was the last day of school for the next three weeks, he had limited time.

  Should he wait? Should he calm down first and think this through?

  Dan let himself inside and tossed the keys onto the counter. The thing was, he’d been dreading this for years, and putting it off wasn’t going to change anything. His biggest fear was that Lana would actually show up and start wanting something with their son. And that’s exactly what Luke needed.

  Dan stood in his kitchen and pulled out his cell phone. He stared at it for a moment, then flicked through the address book to Lana’s number. His heart sped up a little. What would she say?

  He pushed the number before he could change his mind again and put the phone up to his ear. It rang twice before she picked up.

  “Yeah?”

  “Hi, Lana.” He let out a breath. “It’s Dan.”

  “Daniel?” Lana suddenly sounded wary. “Hi. How are you?”

  “I’m okay,” he said, sinking down into a kitchen chair. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m pretty good.” She put a hand over the phone and said something in a muffled voice, then came back. “Sorry, that was my boyfriend.” He heard a door close on the other end.

  “I’m calling because Luke’s been asking about you a lot,” Dan said.

  “Has he?” Her tone softened at Luke’s name. “What do you tell him?”

  “I don’t know what to tell him, honestly,” Dan replied. The old anger was simmering again. “What am I supposed to say?”

  “That’s why you called?” She was back to sounding edgy.

  “He’s eight this year,” Dan said. “He’s getting older. He needs answers.”

  “Tell him I’m messed up.” He could hear the tremor in her voice. “It’s the truth.”

  “He wants to talk to you, though,” Dan said. “All the other kids have moms, and he’s been wondering about you a lot. I think if he could just hear your voice, it would be good for him. Nothing more than that. I’m not pushing you for anything—”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said.

  “Lana—”

  “What am I supposed to say?” she pleaded. “‘Sorry I gave you away’? ‘It’s not you, it’s me’?”

  “That would be a great start,” Dan replied. If Luke could hear it from his mom, maybe he’d stop blaming Dan.

  “No, that’s a bad idea.” Lana was silent for a few beats, and he could hear her sniffle.

  “Do you—” Dan closed his eyes, summoning up the courage. “Lana, do you want to see him sometime?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t take him back, Daniel.” She sighed. “And if I see him, I’ll want to.”

  That was his fear, too. If they could have avoided this until Luke was eighteen, that would have suited him just fine, but they couldn’t.

  “What are you doing lately?” Dan asked. “Where are you working?”

  “I’m not working. I’m...you know.” Welfare. No one liked to say that.

  “And you’ve got a boyfriend?” Dan wasn’t sure what he was fishing for here, but he wanted a better idea of how she was—how much of a threat to their life in North Fork she might be.

  “Yeah. We’ve been together for a couple of months now. He moved in. It’s good.” She covered the phone again, and this time he could make out her words when she spoke. “I’ll be a minute. It’s nobody.”

  The boyfriend didn’t know about her son, apparently. Luke didn’t need to be shuttled between Dan’s house and Lana’s. Lana was right—she couldn’t give him stability.

  “I have to go,” Lana said, coming back onto the line. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Dan said. “But wait—Lana?”

  “What?”

  “Will you talk to Luke, at least?” he pressed. “You don’t need to see him.”

  Dan sincerely hoped she wouldn’t see him—he wasn’t about to test how much a mother’s heart could take.

  “I don’t know. Maybe. Give me time to think about this.”

  “Okay,” Dan said. “Email me.”

  She hung up without saying goodbye, and Dan sat there staring at his phone for a few moments, then he put it on the table.

  Dan didn’t want this. He didn’t want to show Luke that world of drugs and parties. He didn’t want to expose his son to the heartbreak of a mom with an inability to put him first. Dan had worked hard to give his son a good life—a sheltered, happy one where he had Christmas pageants and birthday parties and the utterly normal stuff that kids should grow up with. But he’d promised his son that he’d do his best to put him in contact with his mother, and he had to follow through. Because if he didn’t, Luke would just keep looking for her.

  Dan’s heart ached. He still wanted to call Beth, even though he knew he shouldn’t. This was his problem. And her words when she found out about Luke kept running through his mind: Danny, asking me to marry you and asking me to be a stepmother to your child are two different proposals... She didn’t want to be a part of this, and she didn’t have to be. He was the father here—this was his to fix. Or to try to fix. Or to somehow hold together...

  His cell phone buzzed, and he glanced down at the name on the screen. Rick? What on earth could Beth’s father want right now? Dan sighed and picked up the call.

  “Hello?” He hadn’t heard from Beth’s father in ages. The only time he ever saw him was at the Christmas-tree lighting and when he dropped Granny back off at the house when he found her in the street.

  “Dan.” Rick sounded haggard. “I’m glad I caught you. Look—I’ve tried to reach other people, and I can’t find anyone. I need your help.”

  “What’s going on?” Dan asked.

  “My mother is alone at the house, and I need you to check on her. Maybe stay with her? I know that’s a lot to ask.”

  “What’s going on?” Dan repeated. “Is everything okay?”

  “I’m at the hospital with Beth,” Rick said.

  Dan’s heart skipped a beat and then thumped twice as hard to catch up. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine,” Rick said. “She’s having the baby. I need to stay with her, obviously, and my mom—”

  “No, I got it,” Dan said hastily. “I’ll go and check on her now.”

  “Thanks,” Rick said. “I appreciate this. I owe you one.”

  “Wait, Rick—” Dan’s mouth went dry. “Is Beth okay? I mean...is she—” He didn’t know what to ask. Was she scared? Was she in pain? When did it happen? This wasn’t his responsibility—it wasn’t his baby! But he still felt helpless and panicked nonetheless.

  “She’s doing all right,” Rick said. “They’ve got her in a room now, and there are nurses checking on her. She’s—”

  Dan heard a wail of agony, and his blood ran cold. That was Beth—he knew her voice.

  “I’ve got to go,” Rick said hurriedly. “Thank you, Dan. I’ll keep you posted.”

  Dan hung up, feeling shaky. Beth was having the baby. He’d just seen her at the store...that hadn’t been that long ago, and he remembered the way she’d stopped and rubbed the side of her stomach.

  He breathed an oath. He felt almost sick. Had he seen the beginning of her labor and ignored it?

  Still, she was at the hospital now, her father was by her side and he had a job to do—keep an eye on Granny. He looked at his watch. Luke had another hour before school let out.

  Dan grabbed his cell phone and keys once more and headed back to the door. He’d head down to the Thomas house, pick up Granny, go get Luke at school, and they’d all go out for dinner. That was the best plan he c
ould come up with on this short notice.

  Dan locked the side door behind him and jogged to the car. First things first—he’d find Granny.

  Eight minutes later, Dan pulled up in front of the Thomas house and parked. It looked dark, but he saw the curtain move when he got out. Granny must have seen him arrive. He headed to the front door and knocked.

  Granny opened the door and waved him inside.

  “Hello, Daniel.” She smiled sweetly up at him. “Are you here for Beth?”

  “I’m here for you, actually,” Dan said, trying to sound more relaxed than he felt.

  “Oh, how nice.” Granny smiled and ambled back to her chair by the TV. “You haven’t visited me in some time, Daniel. I was just talking to Ralph about the wedding.”

  Dan sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy, was it?

  “What about the wedding?” he asked, wiping his shoes on the mat.

  “The vows. I heard that you two are going to write your own, and while I think it’s a beautiful gesture to put your thoughts together that way, there is something to be said for tradition, too, isn’t there?”

  “Uh—” Dan swallowed. “Yeah, definitely.”

  “When I got married, dear,” Granny said, turning toward him, “we didn’t have many options. We went to the minister who’d known us both all our lives and we asked him to do the honors.” She smiled. “You know that line in that Christmas song, where the couple runs into Parson Brown, and they ask him to marry them in town?”

  Her eyes twinkled. Dan ran a hand through his hair, then walked over to the couch opposite Granny and sat down. This would be easier if he could just hear her out.

  “Just like the song?” he asked.

  “It worked for us,” she replied. “But the thing is, those vows are there for a reason. They aren’t just about declaring your love, because most people who get married love each other, dear. It’s about promising to love each other in the hard times, when you don’t really want to.” She met his gaze meaningfully.

  “In sickness and in health,” he said. “For better or for worse.”

  “Exactly.” She nodded. “If there weren’t hard times, vows wouldn’t be necessary, and it would just be a celebration of loving feelings, but marriage is more than that. It’s not just warm fuzzies, my boy. Trust me. I’ve been married for fifty years now.”

  Dan chuckled. “Got it, Granny.”

  “You and Beth love each other,” Granny went on. “I know it. I see it. But life will test that love, and I feel it’s important to say the vows as they were meant to be said. Don’t skip over the old-fashioned bits, because we old-fashioned folks weren’t idiots. We’ve got life experience behind us, and those words are part of the ceremony for a reason.”

  “I understand,” Dan said solemnly. Play along—that’s what Beth had asked of him. “And I won’t skip that part.”

  “You’re sure, now?” she asked. “You’ll love her in the hard times, too? If she gets sick, or if she gets hurt? If she can’t give you all the things you grew to expect? You get my meaning? If she lets you down or disappoints you? If life goes left? That’s what you’re promising, Daniel.”

  Why did she have to fixate on this year of history? Dan wasn’t marrying her granddaughter, and he’d never make those marriage vows to her. That was in the past, but what was he supposed to do—break Granny’s heart over and over again?

  Besides, Beth was the one who’d needed the refresher on wedding vows and standing by her man. She was the one who’d taken off the minute things got hard. She was the one who’d turned her back on him and his son. He hadn’t been the one confused about commitment—that was Beth, and frankly, he was tired of pretending with Granny. She was muddled, but this was the present, and Beth was the one who’d walked out on him.

  “I understand the importance of commitment, Granny,” he said carefully. “Trust me—I do. When two people get married, they’d better be willing to ride out the hard stuff.”

  “Good.” Granny nodded. “I feel better. You’re a good man, Daniel.”

  Dan felt tears in his eyes. She’d always seen the best in him, this sweet old lady, and if things had worked out differently, he’d have been honored to be her grandson.

  “Granny,” he said quietly. “You remember that Beth is pregnant, right?”

  “Yes, and ticktock on that wedding,” she said, arching one eyebrow.

  Ticktock, indeed. “She’s in the hospital now, having the baby. I have to pick up my son from school, and then we could go out for supper while we wait. What do you think?”

  “My goodness!” Granny leaped to her feet. “That’s exactly what we need to do! Oh, my...what should I bring... What will she need?”

  Granny rushed past him into the kitchen. He heard drawers opening and closing, and he went to the doorway, watching her. She had pulled out a ladle and a can opener and she was staring at them in confusion.

  “We don’t need to bring anything, Granny,” he said softly. “She’s got everything she needs. Rick is with her. We’re just waiting for him to call us. That’s it.”

  He wasn’t a part of this any more than Beth was part of his problems. Why did that hurt a little to admit?

  “Are you sure?” Granny asked uncertainly.

  “I’m positive,” he said with a nod. “All you need is your boots and your coat. How does pizza sound? Or we could do that new Chinese place.”

  “Oh!” Granny smiled again. “Have you seen Ralph?”

  Dan suppressed a groan. It was going to be a long evening, but maybe it was just as well. Waiting would be harder still without the distraction.

  “He went for milk, Granny,” Dan said. “I’m sure we’ll run into him later.”

  “Milk.” Granny nodded, then sighed. “All right. Boots, you say, and a coat.”

  They were headed in the right direction. Dan would have to take it.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  BETH HAD THOUGHT that she’d have a little more time to prepare before delivering her baby, but that was not to be. After she got to a room, the nurses took over and Beth found herself briskly changed into a hospital gown and settled into a bed. It was all happening so quickly that Beth couldn’t help the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. Today? It seemed impossible, and yet it was bearing down on her whether she was ready or not.

  The contractions continued over the next few hours, and as the pain swept over her, her dad stayed by her side. Rick sat by her head, refusing to move as Beth labored.

  “Doing good, Beth,” the nurse said as she checked her progress. “We’re almost there. It’s going to be time to push on the next contraction, okay?”

  “No!” Beth gasped.

  “Oh, yes,” the nurse replied with a low laugh. “You’ll do fine. Breathe now.”

  “Dad, I’m not ready for this!” Beth said, turning toward her father. His face was ashen, but he seemed much calmer than she felt.

  “Sure, you are,” Rick said, taking her hand. “You’re already doing it...”

  “I mean...” Tears welled in her eyes. “I mean, being a mom—”

  “No one’s ready for that,” her father said. “Your mom and I weren’t ready for it, either. You can plan all you want, you’re never ready.”

  Was that the case? Because she felt like she needed more time, more advice, more plans laid so that she could do this properly. She needed backup plans, and just-in-case scenarios...

  “I don’t know how to do it alone,” she whispered.

  “You aren’t alone, kiddo.” Her father tightened his grip on her hand. “You’ve got me, okay? You’re my little girl, and I’m going to be here no matter what.”

  Another contraction swept over her, and Beth shut her eyes against the pain, everything else evaporating around her. Her body squeezed and Bet
h struggled to pull in a breath...

  “Push!” she heard the nurse say, and her father’s hand tightened on hers as she did as she was told. The pain was overwhelming, and she lifted her head, pushing through the pain and the fear. It felt like it would never end, but then it subsided, and she dropped back against the bed, gasping for air.

  “Okay, this next one is going to do it, Beth,” the nurse said. “You’re almost there, okay?”

  For the next few minutes, as Beth pushed through the most searing agony she’d ever experienced, she listened to the voice of the nurses as they cheered her on. She squeezed her father’s hand and heard his low voice beside her.

  “Come on, Beth. Good girl. You’re doing it! Come on, Beth!”

  “We’ve got the head!” the nurse said. “Oh my goodness, the hair on this baby. Your baby has a full head of hair, Beth! One more push—”

  The pain peaked, and then there was the sound of a baby’s wail, the nurses’ cheer, and it was over. Beth fell back against the pillow, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “It’s a girl!” the nurse said. “You’ve got a healthy baby girl...”

  Beth strained to see her baby, and in a moment, a tiny bundle wrapped loosely in a warmed blanket was placed on her stomach, and Beth felt a flood of relief.

  Her baby...her daughter. Beth waited while someone cut the umbilical cord, and then she pulled her baby up into her arms and looked down into the squished little face.

  “Hello, Riley,” she whispered. “I’m your mommy.”

  Beth looked up at her father to see tears in his eyes. He bent down and pressed a kiss against Beth’s forehead.

  “Good job, kiddo,” he said gruffly. “You did great.”

  Riley was so small. She had a shock of wet black hair, and a button nose. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but she opened them a crack when Beth leaned over her. And as Beth looked down into the face of her newborn baby, she felt a swell of love like nothing she’d ever felt in her life. It came from deep inside her and welled up like a tidal wave of protectiveness.