The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4 (Bill The Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, Holier Than Thou)
Page 123
“Dead? Do not be so naïve,” she said dismissively. It was all I could do to keep from launching myself across the desk and throttling her. “Had he died, his scent would have lingered with his ashes. This is different. It is hard to explain. It is as if it simply ... changed. One moment it was there, the next it vanished.”
“Changed is a good word for it,” I said. It wouldn’t hurt to let her know that part. “He completely lost it after the Icon got iced. He transformed and tore Remington to shreds. When it was all over, he just took off running. He was gone before I even fully realized what was happening. I haven’t seen him since.”
Now it was her turn to look surprised. Her eyes opened wide, excitement shining in them. “You saw him?”
I nodded. It had been the first good look I had gotten of him after a change.
“Was it as marvelous as I have heard?”
I considered this. I had to admit it was definitely not what I had been expecting. I’d have to remember that when he got back. It bore ... consideration. To Gan, though, I simply nodded again. No point in going into further detail. It would only encourage her.
“What of the others?”
“Remington’s forces were obliterated to the man. Ditto with the mages.”
“No, I mean the others who sided with us – more specifically, the witch and her human. Our alliance is over. I meant what I said about punishing them for their treachery.”
I don’t know why, but the lie came out of my mouth without even a moment’s hesitation. “You’re too late. After Bill changed, he went nuts. They didn’t make it. I’m lucky I did.”
Gan raised an eyebrow. She might look like a little girl, but she was perceptive. For all I knew, she could smell the deception on me. Fortunately, I was no amateur when it came to untruths. The best way to fake out a watchful eye was to marinate the bullshit in a little bit of truth. When it came to cooking up lies, I was an Iron fucking Chef.
“I assume you have no quarrel with Bill’s other friend. I managed to pull him out with me, dead weight that he was.”
“Why would you do that?”
Now that was the first good question she had asked. Why had I done a lot of things as of late? There I was, saving Christy and Tom’s asses. I had put my own on the line for Bill and his wannabe girlfriend. Hell, I was even developing a soft spot for his human roommate. What the fuck was wrong with me?
It was a rhetorical question. I knew the answer: Bill was what was wrong with me. He had started off as a means to an end, a way for me to finally claw my way out from being Jeff’s plaything. At some point, though, things had changed. Despite my best efforts, he had become the first real friend I had made in decades. The fucker’s humanity was starting to rub off on me. Now, with all this Icon crap, I even found myself thinking back to my own early days of being turned ... something I really was not particularly nostalgic for. What was the world coming to?
Rather than give Gan that insight, though – not that she would care – I simply said, “I was curious as to what would happen to him.”
“He is awake?”
“Not yet.”
“You should kill him.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely intrigued. It wasn’t like her to take an even passing interest in a human, other than as lunch perhaps.
“He is ... an anomaly. Turned by one of us, yet saved by the Icon. He is undoubtedly changed by the experience, but into what, I do not know. The seers speak not of such a thing ever occurring. Such an aberration is not foretold.”
I hadn’t considered that. I figured he’d either wake up normal, or turn anyway regardless of the Icon’s ministrations. Now I was more intrigued than ever. Talk about living in interesting times.
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
“Do so. Alas, I cannot see to it myself at this time.”
“Oh yeah, you had mentioned something about departing,” I said offhandedly, the sarcasm zooming way over her diminutive head.
“Yes. I must leave for home. The Alma have made their first strike against my forces. It was repelled easily enough, but I do not doubt they were simply testing us. I wish to be there to ensure they are laid low like the dogs they are. The rest of my people are securing transport even as I speak.”
“How’d they fare?”
A look of irritation passed through Gan’s face for just a moment. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take some amusement from it. “One of the Magi, perhaps two, escaped. There is no sign of them. My assassins are well aware of my displeasure at such.”
Well that was just fucking great. “Shit really is starting to pile up.”
“Crude, but apt. Indeed it is. Do not fret, though. I shall return when it is time for my beloved to fulfill his destiny.” She took my silence as cue to go on. In reality, it was because I was confused. “I had thought that the eve of his glorious fate was upon us. I have since come to the conclusion that he needs further maturing. His destiny is still yet to come.”
She stopped as her eyes focused on something leaning against the wall behind my desk. I knew exactly what she was looking at.
Without invitation, she walked around me. Gingerly, she reached out toward it, but then pulled her hand back without touching it.
“The Icon’s sword?”
I nodded. “I figured it would raise too many questions if the cops found it. Besides, it’s an antique. Seemed a shame to leave it behind.”
“I am surprised you could touch it.”
“I can’t, at least not without my hands blistering to all hell. Fortunately, Remington didn’t need his trench coat where he was going. It made for an excellent oven mitt.”
“Interesting,” she said, strolling to the front of my desk, a thoughtful look upon her face. “She will no doubt want it back when the time comes to face my beloved in their final conflict.”
I guess she had missed that part earlier about the Icon buying the farm. “I hate to burst your bubble, but you might want to consider that the whole prophecy was nothing but bullshit.”
“Why?”
“Wasn’t it foretold that Bill would kill the Icon, or the Icon kill him. Well, it didn’t happen.”
“I know. That is obviously still to come.”
“Newsflash, sweetheart, since you missed the show, but the Icon is dead.”
“No, she is not.”
“Yeah, she is. I was there. She took a fifty-caliber slug to the face. You don’t get up from that.”
To both my surprise and undying irritation, Gan actually started to laugh. It quickly turned into a full-on cackle. I looked to her companion for some clue, but he stood there silent and stoic. Lot of fucking help he was.
“Oh, I thank you,” she said after a few moments. “I have not laughed like that in some time.”
“Am I missing something here?”
“Indeed, child. Tell me, was your weapon consecrated in the sacrament of the Black Tngri?”
Black what? My only reply was a blank stare, not understanding a word of her gibberish.
“My apologies. It is known in the West as the Ritual of Baal.”
Yeah, like that helped at all. “Never heard of it,” I replied, reaching up to twirl an errant strand of hair that had fallen out of place.
“That is not surprising. Very few of our kind have. Even during the days when Freewills and Icons waged war openly on the battlefield, it was a secret known only to a handful. Still, I would have thought the other vampires would have come prepared with sanctified weaponry. Odd they did not.”
“I’m not following.”
“To put it simply, if it were so easy to kill the Shining Ones, they would not be considered the great threats they are. We would have merely launched volleys of arrows at them from afar and been done with it.”
My mouth dropped open. She couldn’t be right. Wouldn’t James have known about this? I could understand Colin being in the dark, but I found it unlikely one of the Draculas wouldn’t know. What the hell was going on?
“To that end, I shall leave Monkhbat here when I depart.”
“Huh?” I muttered, entirely distracted by her revelation. The phrase holy shit didn’t begin to do it justice.
“I said I shall be leaving Monkhbat behind.”
What? “Not even gonna try hiding that you’re spying on us, are you?”
“No,” she replied smugly. “He shall remain here as my eyes, but I do not leave him as a burden to you. He shall be entirely at your disposal. Use him as you will to help rebuild your coven.”
“And he’ll be reporting in to you at every step of the way?”
“Of course.”
I considered this. It irked me, but perhaps the devil you knew was better than the one you didn’t. Before then, we hadn’t even been aware she was keeping an eye on us. Now, at least... “Entirely at my disposal?”
“Yes. He shall serve you loyally. Albeit take care.”
“Let me guess, don’t cross the line or he’ll turn on us?”
“No,” she replied, looking slightly offended. “I simply wished to convey that you should keep your commands simple. His English is not so good.”
“Oh.”
She turned to leave. “Farewell, Sally. We shall meet again.”
Sally? What happened to whore? “Wait a second. You said you stopped by to see me, not Bill.”
“Ah yes,” she replied, addressing me over her shoulder. “I had almost forgotten. I wished to convey to you my respect. You have proven yourself far more capable in this endeavor than I had foreseen.”
“Thanks ... I guess.”
“Dr. Death has chosen well for his second. He could do far worse. I am comfortable leaving, knowing he has you to guide him.”
I was nearly stunned. That was the closest the little witch had ever come to being remotely civil with me.
“I’ll do my best,” I replied, finding myself at a loss for a wittier comeback.
“I know you shall,” she replied before again turning to leave. “There is just one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Have a care, whore. Bill is still mine. Should I perceive that your intentions for him are anything more than the physical services you provide, I shall kill you without a moment’s hesitation.”
With that, she walked out.
Motherfucking little bitch!
♦ ♦ ♦
I finally put down the phone. Several hours had passed since I had ordered Starlight to get me the numbers to every morgue in the city. Gan’s warning had completely freaked me the fuck out.
After Bill had run off, the rest of us had gotten off the roof ASAP before the authorities could arrive. I hadn’t even given consideration to Sheila’s survival. Hell, I had seen Remington plug her at close range with a silver bullet. Something like that would have put down a vampire of even James’s power. It was nearly inconceivable that someone could take that and live.
Now, having made call after call, I was forced to reconsider. No one even remotely resembling her appearance had been delivered to any of the bone houses I had contacted.
♦ ♦ ♦
Two hours later, my questions were at least partially answered. After sending Monkhbat out on a bullshit errand to get him out of my hair, I had turned on the police scanner. Turns out an ambulance had gone missing shortly after our battle ended. It had just been found parked in an alley in northern Manhattan, the driver unconscious. There had been nobody else on the scene. Nothing had been stolen except for the driver’s coat. The address the ambulance had been en route from when it disappeared: the Office.
My feelings were decisively mixed. On the one hand, I was sort of glad. She gave Bill hope and I didn’t want to see that die. The flip side of that, though, was she was also a distraction for him, a dangerous thing in these times. Her survival had been Bill’s – our – goal. Everything we’d gone through over the past few days hadn’t been for naught after all, but it also meant all of those fucking prophecies were still in play. Fate wasn’t finished with us. That was perhaps the most frightening thought of all.
Then there was that ritual Gan had mentioned. Had James purposely kept Colin in the dark, letting him send those vamps on what was surely a suicide mission? In that, I had more questions than answers.
Either way you looked at it, things were just beginning. I stepped to the window and surveyed the darkness beyond. The weather had let up a little, but I wasn’t fooled. If anything, this was the calm before the real storm.
“Bill, where are you?” I said to myself more than anyone.
“Any sign of him yet?” a voice asked from behind me, Starlight.
“No, but he’ll be back.”
“How can you be sure?”
“He always comes back,” I said with more certainty than I felt, the burden of leadership finally beginning to weigh on my shoulders. “The dopey little fuck is full of surprises.”
She was silent for a moment, but then asked, “So what do we do now?”
I smiled. That part, at least, was easy. Freewill or not, this coven wasn’t rudderless. Not to toot my own horn, but I could keep the fires burning until he got back. “We do what we need to. We rebuild and recruit.”
“I thought we weren’t supposed to...”
“There’re bad things coming, Star, and I want this coven up to full strength. I don’t know what’s out there, but I don’t want us caught with our pants down again.” A small grin tugged at my lips as I said that. It was something that Bill would have had an assholish reply to. Amazingly enough, I actually missed the sound of his voice.
“And then what?”
“And then we hold tight for the Freewill to return.”
“To lead us into battle?” she asked, repeating the oft-said prophecy.
“Maybe,” I replied, keeping my true feelings on the subject to myself.
“But what if he doesn’t?”
“He will,” I said, silently adding I hope to that. A thought then hit me. With it came a smile and even a little chuckle at the irony of it all.
“What’s so funny?”
“Bill will be back and maybe things will even turn out okay in the end.” I turned and put a hand on Starlight’s shoulder. “We just need to have a little ... faith.”
THE END
The adventure isn’t over yet! The Tome of Bill continues in:
The Tome of Bill Series: Volume Two
And Sunset Strip (A Tome of Bill Series Companion)
♦ ♦ ♦
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this tale and I’d absolutely love it if we could stay in touch – whether you’re interested in new releases or just shooting the breeze.
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Author’s Note
Welcome, dear reader. I hope you have enjoyed books one through four of the Tome of Bill. My goal since day one of this series has been to entertain, delight, and maybe even shock you a little. If I have done any of that, then it has been my express pleasure.
As I write this, I’m already hard at work on the second half of the series and I can’t wait to show you what I have in store. Perhaps you’ll be good enough to join me again as we walk the night with a nerdy vampire and his snarky sidekick. There’s still a lot of Bill and Sally’s tale left to tell and things are only going to get crazier from here.
I have a lot of fun writing these books. I sincerely hope you’ve felt the same reading them.
Rick G.
About the Author
Rick Gualtieri lives alone in central New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he’s not busy monkey-clicking words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.
Defilers beware!
Rick Gualtieri is the author of several books, including:
Night Stalker: A Tome of Bill Series Companion
Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill - 2)
The Mourning Woods (The Tome of Bill - 3)
Holier Than Thou (The Tome of Bill - 4)
Sunset Strip: A Tome of Bill Series Companion
Goddamned Freaky Monsters (The Tome of Bill - 5)
Half A Prayer (The Tome of Bill - 6)
The Wicked Dead (The Tome of Bill - 7)
Shining Fury: A Tome of Bill Series Companion
The Last Coven (The Tome of Bill - 8)
GET BENT!
Bigfoot Hunters
Devil Hunters
Lycan Moon
Midnite’s Daughter
Bonus Story: Ren-Faire
This story takes place approximately halfway between the events of Bill The Vampire and Scary Dead Things. It was created as part of the Rule of Three blogfest and takes place in the shared world of Renaissance (created by author Stuart Nager).
Part 1: Bill
They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I’m pretty sure whoever first said that had a roommate as monumentally stupid as mine. Tom, the dumbass in question, sat in the shotgun seat while my other roommate, Ed, was behind the wheel of the parked car. The street, the only one in this jerkwater town from the look of things, wasn’t exactly crowded. Even so, the few locals milling about were giving us more than our fair share of bewildered stares. That probably had something to do with Tom being dressed in full warlock regalia while I sat in the back wearing a cloak and executioner’s hood. Ed, the only one of us with any shame, was dressed normally.