Alien Exchange Program

by Robert Lubrican

  I hadn't seen the twins for a couple of years. And they'd grown up a lot in those two years. Both of them. Craig looked stout enough to come to work for me any time and stand the rigors of working with livestock. Carly ... well ... when they arrived, I am ashamed to say I thought she looked like a beautiful, well-fucked young woman.

  Of course I didn't know then that she really was recently and well fucked. But when I felt things tighten in my groin I was ashamed of myself. She was my niece, after all.

  And it was Carly who started blurting things out almost immediately. I think she was relieved for someone new to hear the bizarre story. I think it let some of the pressure off. I had to tell her to slow down, and then I used some of the skills I'd developed before I was a rancher. We won't go into that, except to say I had some experience with interviews and interrogations. Who I worked for isn't important.

  Anyway, I took them back to the very beginning and extracted a detailed description of the course of events from them.

  They gave me much more than they intended to. But that's what good interrogation techniques are designed to produce.

  It went in fits and starts in the beginning. For example, I knew something was being left out, based on the body language I was seeing. It turned out that, initially, it was their first exploration of the sexual organs of their "new" bodies. I pulled that out of them, stuttering and stammering, their faces red. The same thing happened when they got to the part where they taught each other how to masturbate ... and helped each other.

  I also confess a shot of The Glenlivet helped. Them, I mean, not me. And before you yell at me for giving alcohol to underage kids, it was only one shot.

  When they didn't see the revulsion and judgment they expected from me, (would have expected from any adult), things got a little easier. There was another speed bump when Sherry got involved, sexually, but after that the atmosphere was less troubled by confessions and admissions.

  And part of that was because I was honest with them too, about how all this was affecting me.

  It gave me a fucking boner.

  I didn't show it to them, of course. But I admitted it existed.

  Their reaction to that was interesting. Trying to explain it without offending them actually opened things up. I can still recall it, though it may be a paraphrase of the actual conversation. Things always change when the memory is being called up. It started after they expressed shame at wanting to masturbate each other again, after that first time.

  "I understand how that could happen," I said.

  "Really?" That was Carly.

  "Of course," I said. "You're healthy teenagers, who have an interest in sex. Being changed into a different body isn't going to affect that."

  "But he's my brother," moaned Carly. I didn't know it, but she was dreading getting to the part about how things escalated to the point that they had sex. I think she was afraid I was going to know it was voluntary, rather than coerced by aliens.

  "And you're a beautiful young woman. Any male is going to respond to that," I said. "Even a brother," I added, just to make Craig feel a little better.

  "Did you ever feel that way about my mother?" she asked.

  "In a way," I said. "I recognized her as a good looking girl, and I wasn't surprised at all that a lot of guys wanted to go out with her."

  "But you never wanted to do ... um ... that kind of thing with her?"

  "No, but I did want to see her naked. Don't you dare tell her I said that, but I did. But it was different with us than it is with you. She was two years younger, and wanted to do anything I got to do. That caused friction and we yelled at each other a lot. I thought she was a brat and she thought I was a prick. That was her favorite name for me, as long as our parents weren't around."

  "My mother called you a ... prick?!" gasped Carly.

  "Hundreds of times," I said. "So you can see that we were never close enough to be in the situation you guys fell into. And on top of the body switching thing, you were already twins, and already close. You don't call Craig a prick, do you?"

  "Of course not," she said, indignantly. She looked over at him and giggled. "If I was that mad, I'd call him a penis."

  "Well, there you go. Suffice it to say I saw Frannie's obvious sexual attributes, but was never in a situation where we would have thought about doing what you two did. And you had a pretty good excuse to do that, by the way. You did need to try to find out how these new bodies worked."

  "We thought we were going to be stuck that way forever," she said.

  "How did you end up getting un-stuck?" I asked.

  Both blushed furiously and Carly said, "We'll get to that later. Please?"

  She was begging. I knew something very interesting was involved in that, but they were cooperating, so I let things take their course. People usually want to confess. That old saying about how confession is good for the soul is true. People know, even if only subconsciously, that getting it all out in the open is the first step toward moving onward in a positive way.

  Usually.

  Anyway, they went on and then it got to the part where Sherry and they were naked, and again I had to opine that, while this was obviously an unusual situation, they were normal inside their abnormal bodies.

  It was at that point, by the way, that I confessed I found all this really exciting, and that it was making me horny thinking about it, and that I had a boner as a result. I apologized for that.

  I didn't put it to them quite that bluntly, but they got the message.

  After that, there came a point where they just gave up trying to pick and choose what to admit to, and just told me the whole story. Part of that was because I convinced them I believed them, and they really wanted somebody to believe them. Another part was because I wasn't projecting any judgement about their decisions. And the rest was that subconscious desire to confess all. Anyway, from that point on, there was almost no hesitancy, and around one in the morning they finished with an exhausted rendition of their trials.

  I said "almost" and the explanation for that is that, to this point, they were still sticking to their "official" version of things. That is to say that they skipped over the part about having sex multiple times after they switched back, and the plan to explain things to their parents. I knew something had been left out, but didn't want to interrupt things to get that out of them. Not until Carly ended up by saying, "And now my mother thinks that the aliens are trying to make Craig and me have a baby."

  "But they're not," I suggested.

  "Not what?" asked Craig. They were both tired. I could see it. That was exactly what I needed to extract the rest from them.

  "Well, first of all, if there are any aliens, they've left you alone since they changed you around. That much is clear."

  "Why do you say that?" asked Carly, warily.

  "Because everything that happened to you after the switch was a perfectly natural progression for two young people in that situation. That assumes that anything at all could be natural about it. After they changed you, everything that happened was you two, trying to figure out how to live in these new bodies. The aliens, if they exist, didn't make you do anything after that."

  "But what about the bright light that surrounded us when we ... when we ... did it?" she asked.

  "That was bullshit," I said, confidently.

  "What?!" they both said together. It was a twin thing, and I loved it.

  "There was no white light," I said. "Not like at the camp fire. At the camp fire you lost consciousness. Whether it was aliens or some other phenomenon we don't know anything about, you were taken out of your bodies at that point and were not aware of how it was done. Isn't that right?"

  "Yes," said Carly, tentatively.

  "But then you say that during this second white light, you were aware of everything, but couldn't control anything. I don't buy that. Besides, anybody could see that you were going to end up like that sooner or later."

  "Why do you say that?" asked Craig, nervously.


  "Come on," I scoffed. "She's a babe. You were playing with her and she was playing back. That's called foreplay. And it's the most natural thing in the world to progress from foreplay to having sex. It happens millions of times a day."

  "But ..." Carly sounded miserable.

  "But what?" I asked.

  "But if what you say is true ... then ... people would think we were horrible."

  "A lot of people would think you were normal," I insisted. "Given the circumstances, I mean."

  "Our parents wouldn't think we were normal," said Craig, heavily.

  "Of course not. And, to be honest, lots of other people wouldn't either. I know I said 'people' but that was presuming they knew the circumstances. They're not going to. But I can't give you any advice unless I know everything. So give."

  They stuttered and stammered and eventually exacted a promise from me that I would not share everything they said with Fran and Jack. I agreed, not because I thought they should be able to keep secrets from their parents, but because I needed to know the real story ... all of the real story. I couldn't give them any advice if I didn't.

  I'm sure that part of what made them crumble and finally give up everything was the fact that they were exhausted. But that's part of a good interrogation too, so I kept pushing. An hour later I had everything, and understood completely why they wanted me to promise I'd keep things to myself.

  And I have honored that for the most part. What you are reading could be called a violation of that oath, but only if Fran or Jack reads this. I changed the names and locations to protect the not-so-innocent, but there are still five people in the world who would recognize who is actually involved in this story instantly, if they read it.

  "That's it?" I asked. "That's everything?"

  "That's all of it," sighed Carly, who looked tense, and worried. She watched as I drained the last of my Scotch in one gulp and set the glass down on the end table beside me.

  "Well, that's not so bad, then," I said.

  Even as tired as they were, that perked them up again.

  "Explain," said Carly, tersely.

  "Well, something bizarre happened to you. You dealt with it to the best of your ability. Along the way, you got to explore things sexual a lot more than most kids. At least we hope it's a lot more than most kids." I grinned. "And you found out about a natural attraction between you ... a sort of twins thing on steroids ... and you explored that too. That actually turned out to be the best thing you could have done, because I think it was the fact that you were so close that allowed you to exchange bodies again, this time without any aliens. Or whatever it was. If you hadn't had sex with each other, you'd still be in the wrong bodies."

  "So you think it's okay that we ..." Craig swallowed, and I finished for him.

  "Want to have sex again? No, I don't think it's okay, but I do think it's normal. Do you understand the difference?"

  "I'm not sure," said Carly.

  I sighed. "Nobody is going to say it's fine and dandy for you two to jump into bed and act married. That won't happen. But it's perfectly normal, considering what you've been through, for you to want to. What that means is that, if you continue this activity together, it's imperative that nobody finds out."

  "Nobody?" Carly sounded worried.

  "Nobody else," I amended.

  "Except you and Sherry?"

  "And your parents," I said.

  "No way," said Craig. "They're not going to let us do that."

  "I think you're wrong," I said.

  "Well then you're crazy," insisted Craig.

  "Think about it," I said. "Right now they think aliens are trying to make you have a baby. How could that be avoided?"

  "By splitting us up!" barked Craig. "That's what they think has to be done. They want to send one of us here!"

  "I'd be happy to have you working on the ranch," I said, looking at Craig.

  "What about me?" asked Carly. Apparently she felt neglected. Foolish girl.

  "It wouldn't be good for me if you were around all the time," I said.

  "Why not?" I could sense outrage.

  "Because I'd start thinking about you the same way Craig thinks about you," I said, calmly.

  "Oh!" Her eyes widened and the "O" froze on her lips. Then she blushed and I saw body language that said she was pleased.

  Silly girl.

  "There's another way to thwart the aliens," I said.

  "What?" they twinned at me.

  "You could finally get that box of condoms," I said.

  *****

  I sent them to bed. Separately.

  I could tell they didn't like that, but they didn't argue. Part of that was because as I ushered them to their rooms, I said, "I'll run to town tomorrow and get some condoms."

  I let them sleep in the next morning. I had to go out and take care of stock, so I left them a note to make their own breakfast. When I took a break for lunch, I swung back by the house and picked up Craig to go to town with me.

  The poor boy was mortified when I stood there and educated him about condoms, talking about each kind available and making him read the boxes. But he got over it. Nobody paid any attention to us anyway, with the exception of little Jennifer Halverson, who was working the register that day. She's cute as a bug and graduated from high school the previous spring. She got caught up in a scandal involving her sister, who was "engaged" to a young fellow who went off to be in the Navy. Then one day somebody from the government came around and announced that he had tested positive for HIV, and they wanted to test her too. Her test was negative, but it was the talk of the county there for a while, and suddenly none of the local young bucks in the neighborhood seemed interested in either her or her little sister. The older girl had gone off to somewhere, ostensibly to college. Jennifer hung around, waiting for the male of the species to come to his senses. It hadn't happened so far. Which was a shame. Like I said, she's a cutie.

  She looked us both over as she rang up the purchase.

  "Haven't seen you buy these before," she commented, as if it was normal to talk about it.

  "They're for him," I said, giving her a twenty.

  "Really!" she said, giving him another look.

  "He already has two girlfriends," I said. "He doesn't need more trouble."

  "Two!" She giggled. "At the same time? Don't tell my sister!"

  "It isn't like that. From what I hear, they do a threesome every once in a while," I said, straight faced.

  "Oh my gosh!" squeaked Jennifer. I'd finally pushed things farther than she was willing to go.

  She handed us the bag, blushing and sneaking looks at Craig, and we left.

  *****

  Back home, we found a bored, yet excited Carly waiting for us.

  There followed another bout of education about condoms, and an explanation for why we had chosen the brand we had.

  She examined one foil-wrapped package curiously.

  "Can we open it?" she asked.

  "Are you asking me if you can use it?" I returned.

  She looked startled.

  "No." Then she looked thoughtful. "I mean ... can we?" Her cheeks got pink.

  "You don't have to have my permission," I said. "This is a decision you two have to make."

  "Oh," she said.

  "And you have to live with the ramifications of whatever course of action you decide to pursue," I added.

  "That takes all the fun out of it," she mumbled.

  "No it doesn't," I said. "It's just the adult thing to do. And having sex is an adult thing." I looked at Craig. "Whether it's with Carly, or your other girlfriend, Sherry, if you don't want to become a father, it's your responsibility to protect them." I looked at Carly. "And if you don't want to have his baby, or any other man's baby, then it's your responsibility to communicate that to him and either take steps yourself, or demand that he take them to prevent that."

  I saw them nod, perceptibly.

  "After that, you can have all the fun you want," I s
aid.

  Carly looked at me, and then her brother, and then back to me, and then down at the packet in her hand.

  "Craig?" she said. "I think we should examine what's inside here. Just so we know what it looks like."

  "And how to properly put the thing on," I said. "Read the box."

  She swallowed.

  "I think I can do that," she said.

  *****

  I have to admit it again. Perhaps there's some pervert in me. I'd like to think it's genetic, considering how the twins felt about each other, but there has never been any hint of like-mindedness in any of the rest of our family. At least not that I'm aware of.

  Whether it's genetic or not, when I heard those bed springs squeaking in there, and knew what they were doing, I had to take care of things in my own pants. Not being married, and having no girlfriend at the moment, I had to do that alone.

  It's been quite a while since I had anybody to help me out with that kind of thing. My last girlfriend ran a dance studio in town. She got a chance to try out for the Rockettes in New York City. When she got the job, she stayed there. We wrote back and forth for a while, but that tapered off. I still get a Christmas card from her every year, but that's about it.

  Yup. Hearing those two make those bedsprings sing like that makes me think that maybe it's time I found me another girlfriend.

  Maybe Jennifer Halverson might take a chance on me.

  Epilogue

  As I read over this journal of sorts, I realize that, if I publish it where I stopped taking notes, which is what you just finished reading, there will be many questions left unanswered. I wasn't going to publish it at all, but enough time has passed, and it's such a fascinating story, that to keep it to just the six of us who know about it would rob the world of something they need to know about. And I'm not talking just about the possibility that you could be snatched up by aliens and switched into somebody else's body.

  But that could happen.

  So I've changed the names and places, with the exception of my ranch in Wyoming. You can try to find that, if you like. Even if you do, it won't get you much. If you found me I'd just say it was a flight of fancy, fiction that I thought up and tried to pawn off as fact. And it would be your word against mine.