Chasing Harpo

by Alan Black

  A shout from the barn brought Spitter to awareness of his duties as a teenager. He molded his face into that countenance known the world over as a teenager who has seen it all, done it all, and is bored with it all.

  Harpo looked away from the dogs and looked at Spitter for the first time. Harpo waved at Spitter.

  Spitter lost his bored look and waved back. He looked at his hand as if it had acted of it’s own accord and broken some teenager code. He shot the hand out; grabbed a mixed breed hound by the collar and dragged the howling dog away. The rest of the pack yelped and followed Spitter. They disappeared around the side of the house.

  Carl was not sure he could get Harpo to stay in the car, but he knew he could not sit in the driveway all day. He opened the door and stepped out.

  Carl bent down and said to Harpo, “Please stay put for a minute. Let me find Rooster or Daisy May.” He shut the door gently. When he looked up, he saw Daisy May standing in the open doorway to the ramshackle house. The woman looked every bit as hillbilly as her namesake: barefoot, cutoff denim shorts, red and white checked shirt tied in a knot at the waist, and to top it all off, thick blonde hair tied back in a pony tail.

  Carl grinned at the woman. He was constantly amazed that this mother of six still had a figure to rival any of her three daughters. He waved.

  Daisy May did not smile, but she did wave. Then she pointed at the barn in an indication where Rooster was most likely to be.

  Harpo waved at Daisy May.

  Daisy May’s face split into a broad grin and she shouted over her shoulder. A screen door slammed shut behind her as she stepped onto the porch. In answer to her shout, she was followed by her three youngest. All of them skipped easily over the missing board on the porch.

  Carl grinned at the rundown look of Rooster’s place. Having spent many a happy time here, he knew the unpainted walls and rusted old cars in the yard were a front. The inside of the home was spotless. Daisy May’s home would put many a designer magazine picture to shame. Rooster liked it when people made a bad first impression of him. Carl knew there was a first class mind behind Rooster’s hillbilly façade. It did not matter if everyone knew Ramona Darlene Marks as Daisy May-or-May-Not, she was probably smarter than Rooster and Carl put together.

  When she approached, Carl hugged Daisy May. “Hello, beautiful.”

  Daisy May hugged back, but did not take her eyes off Harpo. “Hello yourself, Red. I see you found your way up here after all these years.”

  Carl grimaced at her use of his old nickname. The nickname confused many people when they first heard it because he did not have red hair, a red beard or even a red nose. But, before he could reply Daisy May shouted, “Darren stop!”

  Rooster and Daisy May’s youngest child Darren had been born late to the couple. He had Down ’s Syndrome, but was an extremely inquisitive and active child. He was also the only one in the whole family who was ever called by his real name. He was five years old, but fast. Two of his three sisters flanked him as they crossed the yard. Somehow, he had gotten loose.

  Darren grabbed the car handle and yanked it open. He stretched out a small hand, offering it to Harpo.

  Carl said quietly, “Don’t make any sudden moves.” He began sliding around the front of the car. “I don’t think Harpo will hurt him, but I don’t want to startle him. This is all new to Harpo.”

  Carl wanted to get between Harpo and Darren, but the little boy would not move, he stubbornly stood there with his hand out to the ape.

  Harpo looked at the small boy. He had been used to seeing children through glass. Carl could tell the orangutan was thinking about what to do.

  Without warning, Harpo released his seatbelt, reached out, took Darren’s hand gently and he slid off the seat to stand next to the boy. Darren reached his other hand around the ape and gave him a hug. Harpo patted the boy gently on the head and gave a grunting laugh, grinning at Carl.

  A girl of about twelve looked over at Carl. “Hey, Cousin Red? Can Opal and I pet your monkey too?”

  Carl immediately placed the two girls in their family order. Opal and Pearl were thirteen and twelve respectively. The oldest daughter, Ruby was seventeen and the second oldest of Rooster’s offspring. No matter what their real names, they were Ruby, Opal and Pearl because Rooster said they were all jewels.

  Carl looked at Harpo and Darren as they stood hand in hand. Both grinned and looked as if it were an old friend’s reunion. Harpo held the boy’s hand as if he was afraid it might break. Even though he was much taller than the boy, because of his great arm length, he could hold Darren’s hand without bending or stooping.

  Carl looked at Daisy May.

  She said, “Your call, Red. He is your friend.” But, she had a worried look on her face and watched her youngest, ready to jump at the slightest hint of danger to the boy.

  Carl said, “Pearl, let’s not crowd Harpo too much too fast. We don’t want to spook him. Harpo is pretty gentle, but he is not a tame animal. I think you can pet him before we go. No promises, but we will try, okay?”

  Pearl answered, “Okay, sir.”

  Opal just nodded, not taking her eyes of the orangutan.

  Harpo slipped his hand free from the little boy, bowed out his midsection and let loose a stream of urine with a sigh of contentment. Darren dropped his shorts and followed suit.

  Carl started to say something, but he just looked at Daisy May and shrugged.

  Daisy May said, “Boys! They are all the same no matter who their mama was.” She poked Carl in the chest. “You would be right there with those two if the girls and I weren’t here, wouldn’t you?”

  Darren raced off to grab a flowering weed. He plucked it and brought it back to hand to Harpo. The great ape took the flower. He walked a couple of steps to a grassy patch in the yard. He plopped down and promptly popped the flower in his mouth. After chewing a bit, he spit it out just in time to take another flower offered by Darren.

  The ape took the flower and slid it into the hair on his head. The boy giggled and climbed into Harpo’s lap. The ape sniffed the boy’s hair and combed through it with his fingers.

  Daisy May said, “Girls, listen up. Harpo likes fruit. You two hustle to the back yard. Grab a few of those apples left on the tree. He may be an orangutan, but he is a guest and we should offer him some refreshments.”

  Carl said, “Harpo is used to human company, but mostly with adults. I have never seen him around children, at least, not on the same side of the glass. At the zoo, he always seems to like kids. He has certainly taken a liking to Darren. Still and all, it is hard to tell what he is thinking.”

  Daisy May said, “I feel the same way about Darren. I can’t tell what he is thinking either, but they seem content. By the way, apples okay?”

  Carl said, “He likes apples. Whether he takes them or not is a different matter.”

  Daisy May said with a laugh, “Yes, sir. Rooster likes beer, but I have seen him turn down a cold one more than once.”

  Opal and Pearl came back with an old rusted bucket full of apples. Without asking for permission, the girls sat in the grass in front of Harpo and set the bucket in the middle. Opal took an apple and handed it to Harpo.

  The great ape reached out and brushed his fingers across the girl’s wrist. He took the apple and took a bite. He consumed half the apple with that one bite. Darren grabbed an apple and slurped away at it with small bites. The girls joined in taking an apple in each hand; one to eat and the other to hand to Harpo when he finished the one he held.

  Daisy May pointed at the barn. “Marks is in there. I guess you came to see him, not so much just travelling around like a circus sideshow. I think I will keep an eye on your young one and mine, since they all seem to be getting along together.”

  Carl nodded his thanks and headed toward the barn. Before he got too far he could hear Daisy May saying, “Now girls. Harpo is not a monkey. He is an orangutan. That is in the ape family. The easiest way to tell the difference between an ape and
a monkey is…” Her voice faded as Carl stepped into the barn.

  Just like the house, Rooster’s barn was a façade. The exterior was old, weathered boards, mostly unpainted and warped. Once his eyes adjusted to the light in the barn, Carl could see that the inside bore no resemblance to the outside. A second wall stood straight and upright. Bright white paint coated everything. Primary colors of red, blue and yellow accented the various areas. The floor was concrete and swept clean; there were even parts of the floor with a rubberized coating.

  “Hey Red!” Rooster shouted. “Over here by the Deere.”

  Carl saw Rooster standing on a front tire of a large, dark green tractor. He was up to his elbows in the engine. Carl marveled at the organization in the garage portion of the barn. Tools covered the wall, each tool hung on its own peg, neatly snugged against an outline on the board. Tall red toolboxes were set where a mechanic could easily grab a tool. Rooster had one tool drawer open and the interior of the toolbox was as organized as the pegboard on the wall.

  “Whoa, Couz. That is one nice mustache!” Carl said commenting on Roosters huge handlebar mustache.

  “Yep, I grew it for a contest at the country fair about two years ago. Daisy May liked it, so I kept it for awhile. Lost the contest, tho’.”

  “Tractor trouble?” Carl asked, pointing at the big green tractor.

  Rooster said, without looking up from the engine, “Nope. Just a little preventative maintenance to keep me out of trouble. I guess that is something you are still not too good at, huh?”

  Carl said, “What? Doing P.M.?”

  Rooster said, “No, you moron. Staying out of trouble.”

  Carl said, “Well, I don’t have Daisy May to watch my back.”

  Rooster glanced down at his cousin, “Old Or-May-Not has gotten me into as much trouble as she has gotten me out of. Remember, I am the one with six kids.”

  Carl grinned back at his cousin. He knew the man would be lost without his family. His grin faded as he said, “Look Rooster, I hope I didn’t bring trouble to your front door, but I needed a bit of help.”

  Rooster twisted a bolt into place, stepped down from the tractor tire, and lowered the engine hood into place. He put a wrench back into the drawer and pushed the toolbox into a spot on the floor marked with the outline of the box. He turned back to Carl and poked him hard in the middle of the chest.

  Rooster said, “If Spud wasn’t listening I would tell you in no uncertain terms, with the language it deserves, what a stupid statement that is. You are my family. Here is where you need to be if you get into trouble. I’ll kick your skinny city backside you ever talk like you shouldn’t have come. Hear?”

  Carl said, “I hear. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Where is your oldest?”

  Rooster said, “Spud’s up there.” He pointed to the heavens.

  Carl asked, “Spud’s with God?”

  Rooster slapped the side of Carl’s head. “No you blasphemous moron. He is in the storage loft.” He shouted, “Spud?”

  Spud shouted back, “Still ok, Pa. They ain’t moved.”

  Before Carl could ask who ‘they’ were, Rooster said, “You have been all over the news for days. Now they got a statewide manhunt, or rather apehunt, going on after you. Where is your ape?”

  “Daisy May and your kids are watching him in the yard.”

  “They safe with him?”

  Carl shrugged, “I guess we would have heard them by now if there was a problem.”

  Rooster shouted, “Spud?”

  Spud shouted back, “They are eating apples like there won’t be none left for pie by supper time. The chicken coop blocks the view of them from the road, so we be cool.”

  Rooster shouted back, “Dang it, you done know better language than that. You better talk right in the Marines or they gonna send you home.”

  Carl asked, “Marines?”

  Rooster looked proud, “Yes, sir. My oldest has decided that he is going to be a U.S. Marine. That will break the heart of an old Army Ranger like myself, but since he is already over eighteen, I didn’t have much to say about his choice of service.”

  Carl grinned. For all of his family’s distrust of authority, it was a family tradition for everyone to do a turn in the military. “What about Ruby? She has graduated high school. I remember sending her a graduation present. I have seen the others, where is she?”

  Rooster looked even more proud. “Ruby is down at Bama U for a look-see. She says college first, then a turn as an officer in the Air Force, just like her Cousin Red.”

  Carl said, “Good for her. What does she plan to study?”

  Rooster said, with a shake of his head, “Computer Information Security. Strange thing for a Marks to be studying, but I guess it is no worse than being an expert on apes. Speaking of which, you and your little buddy need to lay low for a while. This place won’t help for long. Most likely shorter than you think. State A.G. Stan the Man Porrizzo isn’t any dummy. You can bet a cold turd to a hot donut that he already has some sharp people trying to find you. He has been all over the news about putting Harpo down as a matter of public safety.”

  Carl said, “That is why I got Harpo out of the zoo. I have to give him a chance. Moreover, I have a lawyer on the case; I think I do anyway. I need to give the lawyer time to…well, I don’t know, get an injunction, a stay of execution, or something.”

  “Not too sure about having a lawyer?”

  “I haven’t actually spoken to the man. I have a friend, Gary, who is setting things up with him. I need to make a couple of calls.”

  Rooster pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and handed it over. “Dial away, Red.”

  Carl started to hand the phone back. “I’ve got my own cell. Still, I didn’t think you had reception all the way out here yet.”

  Rooster laughed and pushed Carl’s hand away. “Let’s get out into the yard to keep an eye on the kids.” Once out the door, he pointed to the top of a small hill. “See that big pine tree out on the point of the ridge? That thing gives us the best cell reception outside of Mobile itself.”

  Carl shook his head and said, “Listen Couz, I know that you got a college degree in mechanical engineering, but how do you make a tree give you good cell phone reception?”

  Rooster said, “Yep, I am a mechanical genius, but I ain’t that good. Tain’t a real tree. Cell phone company put up a relay tower in a giant plastic tree. I hear tell they’re doing it all over the country, southern California gets fake palm trees, Arizona gets big fake cactus, Kansas gets fake church steeples. Me? I got a fake pine tree and they pay me more for that than Daisy May gets off her whole tobacco crop.”

  Carl looked around, not seeing any tobacco fields. “Really? When did you start growing tobacco?”

  “Don’t really. ‘Cause it is too much hassle to deal with the big tobacco companies and I sure don’t want to mess with the A.T.F.E.’s G-men. Daisy May actually grows tobacco plants in a greenhouse ‘round back and sells them as ornamental houseplants. What our friends and neighbors do with the plants after they buy them is not our business. Nor is it anybody else’s business if she gives away pamphlets on how to cure tobacco leaves with each of her houseplants.”

  “Still, you can take your cell phone back, Rooster. I do have one.”

  Rooster slapped Carl’s hand. “You put your cell back; turn it off first. Dang it, pull the battery. Don’t you ever watch TV? No, I don’t guess you do. Still, you must have seen enough cop shows to know that they are probably tapping your cell number or trying to get a GPS fix on its signal by now.”

  Rooster pointed at his cell phone Carl was still holding. “You make your calls with mine. It doesn’t have a GPS function. It isn’t listed by my name no how, even if they was trying to trace the calls of everyone you know. I’ll go watch the kids, you get your business done.”

  Rooster shouted over his shoulder. “Spud! You keep an eye open up there.”

  *

  IN THE WHITE PICKUP TRUCK, one man said to t
he other “Too many people around. We will kill them when they come out or we will go kill them after dark.”

  The other man nodded. “Maybe we should call Mbotu? We don’t know how many people are up there and you know how well armed some of the uneducated rednecks are. Maybe we should get reinforcements?”

  EIGHT

  JACK KEEGAN leaned against the state patrol cruiser’s trunk. His temporary command post was in the parking lot of the Cops-R-Us Donut shop. It was not a good spot, but everyone knew where it was. The parking lot was full of police cars, private security vehicles, state police cruisers and even a huge armored car.

  The zoo might have been a good place to stay. They would have been closer to the original scene of the crime and they would have access to the zoo’s security facilities. He decided against it. The zoo was preparing to open to the public for the day. He did not want his investigation to become a problem for the zoo. There was bad press enough without a scary police presence.

  Jack often wondered about the average person, who did nothing wrong, but was nervous around police officers. He thought people should become more comfortable, more relaxed and be more open with someone who was on their side, committed to serve and protect them. He guessed people worried about the crossfire between police and criminals. Most people enjoyed watching a gun battle on TV or in the movies, but they are not eager to experience it up close and personal. Maybe they just did not trust the police to really serve and protect. Maybe someone who always looked for the bad in people made people nervous.

  He and Natalia spread a city map of Birmingham and a state map of Alabama across the trunk lid. Jack read and re-read the file on Marks. There was little to go on. It was just an employment file of a good employee. It consisted of an old and probably out of date resume and job application. It had copies of employee evaluations and salary increase notifications.