Twisted Forever

by Danielle James

  “That sounds a lot like you want to stop seeing me.” Anais’ voice was sad and I could hear the tears just behind her words.

  “No, but we have to figure something out, right?”

  “Yes. You could always come stay with me. You wanted something more permanent here in Montana, right?”

  “I do but what about Camilla and the kids? I can’t just pick up and leave, Anais.”

  “You could if you wanted to.” I heard her let out a little sniffle and I knew she was crying. “If you loved me.” She said it so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

  “I do love you.”

  “Then why haven’t you answered my calls or texts?”

  “I’ve been trying to be here for Camilla.” I was starting to think that calling Anais was a big fucking mistake.

  “Just…call me when you’re on your way, Alexander.” She ended the call and I felt horrible.

  I wasn’t even paying attention to what I was doing in the store. All I could think about was Anais all alone in a place that I put her. All she wanted was to be close to me and I couldn’t really give her that. Not now. Not when I was so close to being back in Camilla’s good graces. If I left for Montana this week and went to Anais I was certain Xavier would be back in my spot in no time.

  I paid for my things and climbed back in the car trying to figure out how to continue my balancing act. I did tell Camilla that I had to go to Montana at least one more time before I stopped altogether so I had one free pass to use and I needed to make it good. The smart thing to do would be to use my last trip to break it off with Anais. I couldn’t do that though.

  She needed me.

  When I pulled up at home, there was another car in the driveway. It wasn’t Xavier’s and it wasn’t Manny’s though so I was cool with it. When I walked in I saw Cole and Camilla sitting on the couch while Chloe played with toys and Mason played in his playpen.

  “Hey baby!” Camilla hopped up and launched herself into my arms.

  “What’s up, Alexander?” Cole’s gravelly voice greeted me. Instead of tagging behind me like she always did, Camilla broke away and went back to the couch with Cole, propping her feet up in his lap.

  “I told you about those toes, Camilla,” Cole grumbled.

  “You love my toes.” She giggled a little too fucking hard. I looked around the corner of the kitchen into the living room to see Cole giving Camilla a foot rub. It shouldn’t have, but it sparked a flame of anger in me.

  “Told you. You love my toes.”

  “They’re alright.”

  “Whatever.” She giggled more and I started to subconsciously slam cabinet doors.

  “Alexander, you okay?” Camilla asked from the couch.

  “I’m fine. Are you making dinner or am I?” I asked.

  “I’m gonna make it. Come sit down.” She told me. I heard more giggling then she walked up behind me. “Go sit down baby, I got it.”

  “Is Cole staying for dinner?” I asked quietly.

  “Yeah. Is that okay?” She frowned.

  “Sure…I just wasn’t expecting him.” I looked at her and then sighed before walking out. I thought I would be stuck in the living room with Cole but he followed Camilla into the kitchen. It didn’t matter how tired I was, I couldn’t let them be in the kitchen alone. For some reason Cole’s presence had my testosterone raging so I stalked in behind them.

  They didn’t see me there since both of their backs were turned so I got the full view of him resting his hands on her hips while he peered over her shoulder. She was only telling him about the recipe she’d found but it was too close for my liking.

  “Mind if I open the wine?” I asked, causing them to move apart from each other.

  “Of course not.” Camilla was carrying on like nothing was wrong what was happening. I poured a glass and drank it in seconds. “Are you okay?” She asked.

  “I’m fine.” Unfortunately Chloe started whining about something in the living room and I had to go check on her. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving those two alone though. Not with the way Camilla was giggling and the way Cole was touching her.

  “What’s wrong baby girl?” I knelt down to Chloe’s level.

  “I hurt my knee, Alex,” She pouted.

  “Want me to kiss it?” She nodded in response and pushed her knee in my face. I place a quick kiss to it and tried to ignore my fiancé laughing in the kitchen with Cole. I walked back into the kitchen and Camilla was sitting on the counter while the ravioli boiled and Cole was standing between her legs.

  He was looking down at his phone and she was looking at hers with her arms around his shoulders. “Look at this shit…” He showed her something and she laughed. Why the fuck was this scene burning me up from the inside? It’s not like they had their tongues in each other’s mouth. They were just too close. I didn’t know how else to explain it. Cole acted like he had ownership over Camilla and he didn’t give a fuck who knew it.

  “Oh my God, Cole.” Camilla laughed and pointed to something on her phone. He chuckled and poked her side.

  “You got jokes?”

  “Maybe.” She tilted her head to the side and stuck her tongue out.

  “Watch that shit.” He smirked and whispered in her ear until she was red. I walked out and went to our room. I called her in and waited for her to get there. We needed to talk about this shit.

  “What’s up baby?”

  “Cole has to go,” I said immediately.

  “What? Why?” She frowned at me.

  “Because yall are too fucking close. I don’t like the way he touches you or the way you let him. Like I’m not right in the house.”

  “Alexander, calm down. You know Cole is my friend. We’re plutonic.”

  “That shit wasn’t plutonic!” I boomed.

  “Okay, you know what? I’m not dealing with this shit.” She tried to walk away but I grabbed her arm and spun her back to face me.

  “You can’t think that shit is respectful.”

  “What?”

  “The way he had his hands on your hips? The way you were blushing when he whispered in your ear?” She rolled her eyes before snatching her arm away from me. “I don’t give a fuck what you say, those aren’t plutonic actions.”

  “Okay, Alexander. Whatever. You want him to leave, you tell him. Make sure you tell Chloe too since she was looking forward to him staying.” She walked out I hated the fact that she was bringing Chloe into this shit.

  I was headed out to talk to Chloe when I heard my phone ring on the couch. When I got there, Camilla had the phone in her hand with a murderous look on her face. She slapped the phone to my chest and went back in the kitchen. I looked down just in time to see Anais’ name.

  Shit.

  I chased Camilla into the kitchen but Cole, who had her hugged up in his arms, shielded her. The sheer sight of it made me fuming mad. I swallowed the rage bubbling inside of me and tried to direct it in a calm way so I didn’t scare the kids.

  “Can I talk to you?” I gritted out.

  “No,” Camilla said angrily. “I’m making dinner.” That’s just what she did too. Angrily and like a storm cloud she cooked the best ravioli dinner I’d ever eaten. Cole cleared the table and I put the kids to bed while Camilla cleaned the kitchen.

  I was barely holding it together. I wanted to drop kick Cole out of my fucking house so I could talk to Camilla alone. With him there it felt like there was a wall around her. As soon as he even suspected she was hurt, he covered her like armor.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute, Alexander?” Cole called to me from the living room. Camilla went into the bedroom and I could hear her on the phone.

  “What is it?” I sighed.

  “You need to watch this shit with Anais.” He told me.

  “What are you talking about?” I quizzed, trying to draw out how much he thought he knew.

  “Let’s not act like you’re not flying up to Montana all the time to fuck Anais.”

  “Cole, none of
this is your business.”

  “It’s my business when you start hurting Camilla.”

  “And why does that make it your business again?” I folded my hands in my lap and looked him in the eye. He never broke eye contact.

  “Because she’s my best friend. Every time you fuck up I have to hear about it.”

  “You sure it’s not because every time Camilla thinks I’m fucking up you’re her rebound man?” I pressed forward. “Because all I’ve seen tonight is how you can’t figure out what’s appropriate and what’s not.”

  “You can try to talk circles around me all day, Alexander. The fact remains that you’re fucking Anais while you’re engaged to Camilla.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m working and you should be minding your business.”

  “I am minding my business.” He shifted in his seat. “I know how clingy Anais is. I know she told you about me.” He was right, Anais had talked about Cole in length about how she cared about him and how he saved her from her abusive husband by persuading him to take her to the hospital when she was hurt.

  “I can’t discuss what my patients talk about during sessions.”

  “That’s such bullshit. She’s not your fucking client. Stop trying to make things seem innocent.”

  “I don’t have to make things seem innocent. It appears you have some experience doing just that though.”

  “Yeah okay. Keep turning shit around to me and Camilla. Let me tell you this though, Manny isn’t the only man you gotta worry about coming to see you if you hurt her. I don’t give a fuck what you think is going on between us; I’ll put a bullet in anyone who hurts her. Don’t fuck her life up.”

  No matter how calm I tried to remain, getting threatened in my house over my fiancé pushed me over the edge. Cole and I were face to face in seconds.

  “Don’t threaten me in my own house, Cole.”

  “It’s not a threat.” He grumbled reaching around to his gun. He trained it at my chest and I laughed a little. The threat of being shot had me shaken but I wasn’t about to let it show.

  “Cole!” Camilla hissed. “Stop!” She slapped the gun down and inserted herself between us with her back to me.

  “Get your friend,” I told her. “Get him the fuck out of here. He’s not coming back.”

  “What?” Cole snapped, moving Camilla behind him. “You telling me where I can and can’t go? Who the fuck do you think you are? Fucking prick.”

  “I think this is my goddamn house and you’re leaving.”

  “Cole…just…go. I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

  “Camilla, call me if you need me.” He stuck out two fingers and she grabbed them with hers. She walked him to the door and I watched as they hugged for a long time. He was speaking something into her ear that I couldn’t hear. I pulled Camilla back, separating them and shoved Cole out of the door before closing and locking it.

  “What the fuck is going on? Are you fucking Cole?”

  “No!” She screamed louder than I’d ever heard. “But you are fucking Anais! Don’t you dare lie to me again, Alexander! You sat here and watched me cry to you for over a year about Xavier and you’re doing the same thing?” She was crying now and I wanted to pick her broken pieces up and press them together until she was whole again.

  “Baby, come here.” I called to her but she stood firm, folding her arms around herself. She was so hurt it was radiating from her core.

  “No! I hope you’re fucking happy. You put Cole out and he was the only person in this house I could talk to. He protects me. He’s there for me. You know who else is there for me? Emmanuel and Xavier. Everyone but you, Alexander.”

  “I’m here for you.” I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her body but she was stiff against me.

  “Tell me the truth then.” She stepped out of my grasp and it felt like a part of me was ripping away. Like I couldn’t stop her from distancing herself.

  “Anais shouldn’t have called my personal phone. She only had my number because when I first dropped her off I wanted to make sure she could reach me in case of an emergency. She should have called my work phone. It was only work related, I promise you.” I was digging myself into a deep hole that I would never be able to climb out of but I just could not lose this girl. She helped bring me back to life after Alex. She had my son. I wanted to marry her.

  I had to break shit off with Anais. In that moment, seeing Camilla overcome with pain and uncertainty made me hate myself. I hated what I’d turned her into. I wanted to help her stand on her own two feet but instead I’d only helped her revert. Now she was swinging wildly between men looking for comfort.

  I knew who would be the next and last stop and I would not let Manny take my family.

  “I don’t believe you. I can’t.” She trembled like a leaf.

  “What can I do to make you believe me?” I took her hands in mine.

  “Stop going to Montana. Stop talking to her.”

  It was that moment that I chose Camilla over Anais. I nodded my head and pulled her into me for another attempt at a hug. She still didn’t melt into me.

  “I don’t want to touch you right now.” She sniffled before turning on her heel and walking into the guest room to go to bed.

  The next morning, I made breakfast before Camilla and the kids before any of them woke up. Scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits and orange juice were on the table when Camilla groggily padded into the kitchen.

  “Good morning.” I smiled, trying to smooth things over. She looked at me, then looked at the food and grunted. Even fresh out of bed, Camilla was gorgeous. Her hair was hidden under a satin bonnet but tendrils of golden hair slipped down her neck. She wore a sheer tank top and a pair of panties.

  I couldn’t stop my hands from slipping under her shirt and rubbing her flat stomach. My lips found the warm skin of her neck and she stiffened.

  “Stop, Alexander.” She moved out of my arms and went to the table so she could eat. She mainly just pushed her eggs around on the plate taking nibbles here and there. When her phone chimed she glanced at it and I saw a flicker of happiness in her eyes. It was warm and genuine and I remembered when I made her look like that. It was probably Cole this time though.

  Camilla plucked the phone from the table and began texting. When she was done she looked over at me and the happiness vanished.

  “Emmanuel’s stopping by.” She told me flatly.

  Moments later my brother was unlocking the door and walking in. Camilla met him at the door and pushed him back outside. I stood up and walked over to the window to see her talking to him quietly.

  “I can’t do this,” she whispered. That’s all I could hear though. Manny ran a hand over his face and pulled her in for a hug. That time she melted. She melted so hard and so fast that jealousy surged through me. It was how she should have melted into me when I hugged her.

  Manny hugged her for a long time and when they pulled apart, she was wiping her face frantically trying to erase any remnants of tears. I was pushing her right back to him, but for some reason he wasn’t taking the bait. I didn’t know if I should be relieved or terrified. Manny was the only man that actually unnerved me.

  Cole, with his temper and guns didn’t really put fear in me. While it was scary it wasn’t him that scared me it was the actual gun. Xavier didn’t scare me at all since he was mostly hot air and swinging fists. Manny though…Manny ruined lives and he would take everything I loved. He was just like me and so different at the same time. He was all the parts of our father that I wasn’t.

  When Camilla and Manny came back in, I eyed them for a moment before greeting Manny with a forced hug. As soon as he was fully inside, Mason woke up making a bunch of noise in the nursery.

  Manny and I both rushed down the hall, but he got there first. “I was going to get him,” I muttered. I watched Manny scoop my son up and smile at him like he was the brightest light in the entire world. I couldn’t place the feeling it planted inside of me, but it wasn’t good.

/>   Mason giggled happily and grabbed at Manny’s face until he kissed him over and over pretending to eat his face. I held my arms out for my son and reluctantly Manny placed him in my arms and left the room like he couldn’t stand to be near me either. At his absence, Mason erupted into cries until Camilla came to the rescue with a bottle.

  “I think he was really hungry,” I told her.

  “Mmm, probably,” Camilla huffed. Not at Mason though, more so at me. Actually, it was all directed towards me. I had to end it with Anais, I had to come clean to Camilla, and I had to set this shit straight.

  Back in the living room, Manny was reconfiguring the plate I’d set aside for Chloe.

  “You gave her too many eggs. She doesn’t like anyone’s eggs but Xavier’s so whenever you make her some, give her as little as possible.” He looked over at me with a grimace. It was about more than eggs though.

  “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”

  “You know you’re on the verge of losing your family right, little brother?” There was the other shoe. I knew it was going to drop at some point.

  “No, I didn’t know that, Emmanuel. Enlighten me.”

  “Don’t pull that psychobabble shit with me. The minute she tells me things are over with you. That you’ve done something she can’t forgive anymore…it’s over.” His words were like lead pulling me down into darkness.

  I imagined Camilla, Chloe and Mason living with Manny and being a perfect, happy family without me. It threatened to steal the air from my lungs.

  “I don’t know what you’re thinking but you can cut it out now. Camilla is upset over me working so much. That’s it.”

  “You’re fucking your work though aren’t you? As usual.” A cold smile spread across his face. “You know, Alexander, I thought things would be different this time around. You had seven years to grieve over Alex and I thought you’d found a new start with Cami. I thought you were a changed man and that you would give her the normal life she deserved. I thought you were a better choice than me.” He paused to chuckle at the thought.

  “I was wrong though. You’re still the same Alexander, fucking all the broken women you come in contact with then leaving them. Like you left Alex.” His voice was calm but devilish like the serpent itself was slithering around me, speaking.