Endgame (Book 1)

by W. A. R.

  “Because I was angry with him.” Brian told her easily. “I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I’m glad he’s alive, but it’s just…I feel so…I don’t know…” he paused, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration.

  “Guilty?” Shelly offered and he looked over at her as they neared the fatally wounded animal.

  “Yeah,” he said, releasing her hand to step over the deer’s fur covered boy. “Guilty. I really should apologize to him. It isn’t his fault things happened the way they did. What matters is we are all here now.” And Shelly smiled slightly, seeing Brian revert back into some version of his old self.

  Shelly knelt down in front of the deer, its eyes faded and lifeless. He was gone. For a brief moment she felt sympathy for the creature; but just as quickly she shoved it away. Dragging footsteps on crunching leaves caught her ears and she stood once more, looking around her as Brian retrieved his knife from his belt loop. “I think you’re right. Who knows; maybe you two will talk and then…maybe he will tell you what happened and everything will be fine.” She told him as her eyes skimmed the forest before her. Her heart picked up pace as she spotted it. She pulled her screwdriver from her pocket and watched as it continued towards them, at least sixty yards away.

  “Wouldn’t that be great?” Brian said an obvious hint of disbelief in his voice. Obviously he hadn’t picked up on Rick’s opening up earlier. He grabbed the deer’s snout in one strong hand and placed the blade against his neck with the other. With one swift movement, he jerked the knife to the right, cutting the animals throat and letting it bleed out. Before, it would have seemed cruel, but now it was a matter of survival. The deer was heavy enough as it was without blood weighing it down. They needed to save whatever meat they could, and if things got too hard, deer brain would have to suffice. Either that or starve.

  Shelly glanced at the Biter, now at forty yards, and moving swiftly, unlike other older Biters. And she was right; the Biter was recent, but not so recent that it worried her. “Yes it would be. Admit it, honey. That is bothering you.” She said, stepping around him and up to the Biter. It’s grey, decaying arms reached towards her and she gripped the handle of her weapon. She often wondered how a virus could affect a human the way that this one had but then again, there were viral diseases before that killed people, distorted people. It wasn’t completely impossible. She reared back her arm, pressing her hand flat against the Biter’s chest for leverage as it snapped and hissed at her. Bringing her arm down, there was momentary silence before the blade on the screwdriver ripped through the skull, and into the brain. She hastily pulled back hard, wishing to remove her weapon before the Biter fell to the ground in a lifeless heap on the forest floor. Whatever virus it was disgusted her every single day. She shook her head and turned to Brian, who stood watching her. “You know that something happened back at Charlotte’s; something that he isn’t telling you. You think he did what he did on purpose and you not knowing what or why is driving you crazy.”

  Brian sighed as Shelly ambled back towards him. “You know me too well.” He said, a small smile turning up his lips, though it didn’t reach his eyes. She knew he was feeling guilty thinking the things that he did. “I will apologize when we get back. Maybe he isn’t too angry.” He said, leaning down to pull on the deer’s back legs, dragging it behind him. Shelly rushed forward to grab the deer’s front legs, attempting to take some of the strain off of him.

  “I think he was more hurt than angry, Brian.” She told him and he merely looked at her without saying anything. She sighed in concession. “He still loves you. You are still Brian to him. Is he not Rick to you?”

  He groaned, seemingly frustrated. “He is…it’s just…everything, Shelly. Everything is just falling apart. Hell, everyone is falling apart.” She bit her tongue, keeping her response to herself. He didn’t know the first thing about her falling apart.

  “I understand.” She told him softly, her breathing becoming heavy from dragging the deer. Nervousness began bubbling in her gut, and she wished she didn’t have to tell him. But she had to, she had no choice. She only hoped that would understand. “Brian I’m sorry about last night.” She told him, her nerves standing on edge.

  “We already went over that honey. It’s okay; water under the bridge. I said some things too that I regret saying.” He told her offhandedly, as if it were no big deal; but it was. It was to her. She had to tell him so he could understand. She sighed, thinking to herself; it’s now or never.

  “Brian, the reason I was so upset last ni…” she and abruptly stopped, dropping the legs of the deer. A gunshot was heard through the trees and she shivered. Why had this gunshot bothered her so? She wasn’t sure. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she watched Brian drop his end of the deer with a loud thud before he sprinted. A scream. A pleading, mercy filled scream rent the air. She bolted after Brian, and she heard everything. She heard her heart race in her ears, her blood pumping through her veins; she heard low cries and yells. She swallowed her fear, struggling to keep up with Brian as he leapt over fallen trees and bushes, sidestepping trees and branches. They whipped across their skin, burning and leaving their skin torn and bleeding. Suddenly, they slowed, listening to the wind blow around them. It had grown silent, the only sound a very vague rustling of leaves.

  “Oh my God! Brian!” they heard Amber through the trees and they again bolted in the direction of her voice. “Brian! Miles! Somebody please!” A new fear settled in Shelly’s stomach and she felt tears prick the backs of her eyes.

  “Amber!” she heard Miles yell through the woods faintly. No, no…she begged silently in her mind, her lungs burning from her struggle for oxygen…someone’s hurt. “Go!” they heard her yell. Time crawled by. They ran for maybe two minutes, but it was the longest two minutes of Shelly’s life. Her mind raced with possibilities, but whenever Brian passed through a thicket of trees and froze for a brief second she assumed the worst. There were cries, orders being made, and then Brian leapt forward. “Brian…” Amber cried.

  “Let me see, let me see…Oh my God…” she heard him say loudly, pain and horror lacing every word. Shelly then emerged through the trees, and though she considered so many possibilities, what she saw was nothing she had expected.

  Chapter Thirty

  Buddy stepped slowly over a muddy hole, searching for the squirrel that he had shot down. He tossed a glance over at Miles who walked a few yards away, bow at the ready, with two rabbits hanging from a rope tied to his belt loop. Miles cut his eyes to Buddy, who in turn rolled his eyes and turned back to his search for the creature. Buddy disliked him; he was too calm, too rational, and well…he just simply didn’t like him. He had had plenty of opportunities since they arrived to get to know him but the fact was, he didn’t want to. Buddy understood that his own personality was part of the problem, which, he realized, only a few people understood. George, Derek, and Amber were the only ones who attempted to get to know him. He couldn’t blame everyone else for their lack of action where he was concerned, but it didn’t serve to make him any less bitter. Especially Miles; he was constantly on Buddy’s shit list for things he didn’t even realize; things that were nothing. And ever since Rick came into the picture, Buddy grew to dislike him more and more with each passing day. He knew what part of that was, however, and he’d be a liar if he didn’t admit that he shared feelings for Amber. He was only human after all. He considered her a friend and she did the same for him, but for him it only went deeper. He couldn’t understand why. She was the opposite of him; she was patient, understanding, and calm in the face of chaos and though it should have irritated him to no end, he instead found it refreshing. He had grown accustomed to her attempts at softening his hard edge, had become a part of her, a team.

  It irritated him that he had gone to the man for help the day before and he had refused him. Buddy understood that the others would listen to Miles, would understand his reasoning if he agreed that they needed to leave. But he didn’t agree and when he refused
Buddy’s request, it set Buddy off. All he had wanted to do was help protect those that he now cared about, which already surprised him. He had grown desperate and in an attempt to scare the man into seeing his reasoning, he had opened a can of worms he never intended to open to begin with. Damn him.

  He shook his head, spotting his kill at his feet. Leaning down to pick it up, he tossed another rueful glare at Miles. The man had no idea how to be a friend, he thought, and hell, if he were honest, Miles simply wasn’t good enough for her. He wasn’t sure why he thought that, as Miles had never done him any wrong, not really, or her for that matter, but the anger was still there and he was sure that it wasn’t going to go away. He wasn’t even sure what attracted him to her. Sure, she was pretty, he guessed, for a post-apocalyptic female, but she was no stunner. She was too nice. But then, he reasoned, she had that rough side to her that was developing. Maybe that was what it was that drew him to her. And as if he had an epiphany, he stood, still staring at Miles. He was drawn to her. He had the overwhelming need to protect her, and for some reason, he felt he needed to keep her from Miles, to watch the two of them closely. He was also drawn to George, but not so much so, and it was different with him. George was similar to Amber, personality wise, with the exception of his attitude. It was a little rougher than hers, but he had also lost what meant most to him. Still, the connection was different, and he couldn’t understand why. Then again, he thought with a smile, George was definitely not his type.

  “What in the hell are you staring at?” Miles snapped, breaking him out of his reverie. Buddy’s small smile immediately fell into a scowl and he began tying the rope he had on his waistband around the animal’s neck to hold it while he walked.

  “Nothin’.” Buddy grumbled, slinging his gun onto his shoulder and taking a step forward.

  “Damn right nothin’.” Miles muttered back, looking around the woods surrounding them for any signs of animal life. Buddy shot him an angry glare, attempting to bite his tongue. He didn’t want to stir up more trouble, not after his smart mouth had gotten him into trouble with Brian that morning, but he really felt like being an asshole to Miles. He considered it to be the highlight of his day…every day.

  Anticipating the worst, he decided to speak. “Why don’t you run along back to the house?” he asked, stopping in his tracks. Miles slowed to a stop, lowering his bow and arrow before turning a heated glower at Buddy. “You’ve killed two rabbits to my six squirrels. Besides, I didn’t want to come out here with you anyways. So do us both a favor and go back.” He said and Miles simply laughed at him, catching Buddy by surprise.

  “You are a real piece of work, aren’t you?” he said, his smile turning into a frown. “Besides, we have a few things we need to discuss before anyone goes anywhere. Number one: your attitude.”

  Buddy ground his teeth together. Who in the hell did this man think he was? “You think I’m gonna talk to you about anything? Fat chance.”

  Miles’s eyes scanned the trees around them, thinking about his next words before speaking. “You don’t have to talk. In fact, I’d rather you keep you big mouth shut, because let’s be honest, you never have anything important to say. I’m just telling you that your attitude towards everyone isn’t helping our situation.”

  “Oh yeah, and playing house helps a lot.” Buddy remarked drily, sarcasm dripping from every word. Miles narrowed his eyes at him and involuntary, Buddy smiled. Truth was, he wanted to piss him off, and he wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t explain why he did, said, or felt the things he did lately, but heaven help him if he was going to stop it. He enjoyed actually feeling something.

  “Which brings us to point Number Two: your attitude towards me.” Miles replied, moving the strap on his bow to settle on his shoulder. Buddy stared hard at the man, a smug smile on his lips. Miles wasn’t exactly working on his nerves; fact was, Buddy felt he needed this talk, but the man had everything that Buddy didn’t, and that ate at him. It pissed him off.

  “Oh no. What are you going to do? Hurt my feelings?” Buddy replied in mock fear. “Please. You are not intimidating in the least.”

  “I’m not trying to be.” Miles said quickly and calmly. “Not yet.”

  “Yeah, right. Listen asshole, if you think that my opinion will change about you after this little heart to heart, you’re wrong.” Buddy said, taking an easy step forward and looking around them at the tree branches. He briefly wondered if Amber gave Miles advice on how to be patient and understanding. It was starting to get to him, making Buddy want to reach out.

  “I just want to know what your problem is with me.” Miles said patiently, turning and scanning the ground around them.

  You have what I have always wanted, Buddy thought, A family. “Whatever.” He grumbled, easing forward once more. Miles hesitated in his steps, turning and casting an understanding gaze at Buddy. Buddy wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that look meant.

  “I know what it’s like to be alone. I lost my son when this started and I wondered for months alone. Even before the outbreak, it was just me and him.” Miles admitted, and Buddy glanced at him. He could see that Miles wanted to be distant and pissed with him, but there was a war raging in his eyes and it was clear that the better side won. He narrowed his eyes at him.

  Buddy felt an anger brewing inside of him and he shot daggers at Miles’s now unmoving form. “You don’t know the first thing about being alone.” Buddy shot back. Miles turned to look at him and he caught a glimpse of sympathy in his eyes. He wanted so badly to be angry with Miles. It was easier that way. He couldn’t be however. These people were beginning to rub off on him.

  “Whatever you say.” He replied with easiness and Buddy was grateful for his reluctance to pursue the subject. “Number Three: your attitude towards Amber.”

  Buddy couldn’t say he was surprised about this turn of events. Instead, he only smiled deceptively. “What about it? She and I get along perfectly.” Which was true, he reasoned. Sure, there were times he tried to push her buttons, because he honestly wanted to see her fly off the handle, just one time. Then again, he thought, some of the nicest people are the scariest when pushed to their limits. He respected that about her.

  “You have feelings for her. I’m not an idiot.” Miles snapped, and Buddy could see anger simmering in him. Buddy sighed on a forced smile. Was he envious of what they had, that they had each other to count on or jealous of Miles’s presence in her life? Yes on both counts. He couldn’t deny it if he wanted to.

  “What of it?” he asked, hoping to drag on the perpetual torment that Miles was surely going through at having that conversation.

  “Back off. She doesn’t need that shit with everything else going on.” Miles demanded, and for a second Buddy stiffened.

  “Back off?” Buddy scoffed. He had had it and he spoke before he realized what words were tumbling from his mouth. “Tell me, what is she going to do whenever you aren’t there anymore, huh?” Buddy asked, noting how Miles’s jaw clenched. He smirked at the angered man. “You can’t even feed her or those kids properly.” He said motioning to the rabbits on his side. “What makes you think you can take care of them when they will need it most? You can’t always be there.” He told him harshly and Miles began his slow stepping process towards him. Buddy stood his ground. He was antagonizing the man, and a part of him regretted it. He had done nothing wrong; Buddy was simply spurring for a fight.

  “You obviously don’t know me or them very well. I have people depending on me to bring back food safely. I will always find a way back to them. You however…I could kill you where you stand. Who do you have waiting or worrying about you?” Miles growled and Buddy opened his mouth before he had time to think.

  “You’re fucking girlfriend.” He said calmly, tauntingly, before he felt Miles’s knuckles hit his jaw. He grimaced at the pain that shot across his chin, cheek, and jawline. He had asked for it, he knew; he went too far. He turned his eyes up to look at Miles, who had stepped back, his hands clenched i
nto fists at his sides. Buddy’s own regret was mirrored back in Miles’s eyes.

  “You’re probably right; that is the kind of person she is, but don’t you dare do that again or it will be ten times worse.” Miles said pointedly, turning and walking away slowly. Buddy turned his head, rubbing a hand absently across his jaw.

  “She’s turned you into a weak, sorry excuse for a man.” Buddy said to him hatefully, attempting to hide the onslaught of emotions roaring through him. Miles didn’t deserve any of the things he had said, and yet still, he was provoking him. And for a brief moment, he understood why he was so angry with Miles. Miles reminded him so much of himself, and he hated that. He hated himself. He could see the anger that rested in Miles from the turmoil that was life, he could see loss, the pain, and yet, there was the part of Miles that he wished he could grasp; the part he strived to be. He wished he could let go of all of the pain of his past and move forward, but he couldn’t. He had never been able to. It was only recently with Amber, George, and Derek he had revealed aspects of himself that were only ever seen by one person before.

  “Whatever Buddy.” Miles replied calmly and Buddy immediately felt saddened. “I’m choosing my battles and this isn’t one I wish to spend time or energy on. So, go ahead and toss me your best off-handed sarcasm so we can move forward from this.” Miles said and Buddy grimaced. He was pushing, as he always had. He had always pushed at people that attempted to help him. It was a habit of his. He owed Miles an apology, but he was unsure of how to do it. He was never one to apologize for his actions.

  “I went from foster home to foster home.” Buddy began, unsure why the words were tumbling out of his mouth, and to Miles of all people. Miles turned to face him curiously, disbelief evident in his eyes. “I was always alone. I never let anyone close without a price. The only person that ever understood was Sam. We worked together at a mechanic shop, and he was like a father to me.” Buddy paused for a moment, wondering if he could let someone know the truth. No one else knew what had happened; not even Derek, who had found him wallowing away in self-pity a week later. He sighed, shoving his own contradictions from his head. “When the outbreak happened, I went to find him and he was holed up in his house. I fought my way through some Biters and made it to him, but he had lost his mind. He thought I was one of them and he tried to kill me. Long story short, I walked away with a knife in my leg and a bullet hole in my arm and he was dead. We had wrestled for the gun, and he turned it on me, shooting me in the arm, and when I tried taking it away from him, he pulled the trigger and it hit him in the heart.” Buddy told Miles, who stood there with a blank expression on his face. Buddy groaned and advanced towards Miles hastily. He needed him to understand. “I fucked up one time with someone, the only person I ever cared about. I am not going to do it again. I care about Derek, George, Amber, and those kids and my attitude towards you is because I want to protect them. I need them to be safe.” He paused before continuing. “Hell, I would die if it meant they got to live.” And he felt as if he had never been surer of anything in his life.