Good for Me

by Aeryn Jaden

  “Ty?”

  “You can let go of me now. That pissed off voice it’s probably attached to an equally pissed off brother.”

  At least he looked chagrinned even if that didn’t help us untangle faster or come up with some sort of explication for Sean. Not that I had anything to explain but this was my brother here, the only one who had stood by me until now. I released a put upon sigh and dared look with an eye above the mattress. Bain was playing dead opossum and I had the sudden urge to giggle. It was like a twisted version of the adolescent nightmare of being caught by the parents. Starring a twenty-five year old virgin, a bear-like male partner that was trying to hid under the bed and an enraged little six foot three brother. My day couldn’t get any weirder.

  “Hey, Sean. How are you? Didn’t hear you come home last night.”

  “Shove it, buster.”

  Well, that went well.

  “What the hell are you doing half out of your nighties with that mountain over you?!”

  “Stretching exercises…?”

  “And I’m the virgin Mary in drag. You can tell your honey-bear there, he can get his head out from underneath the bed. Too late to hide, I already saw the goods.”

  Sean’s sarcastic comment brought a snicker out of me when I met Bain’s disgruntled face. He mouthed “honey-bear” at me with an equally irritated look and rose to sit on the bed. He was mostly clothed- meaning he had the boxers back in place. He looked positively yummy to me and I may have lost focus a little bit there.

  “Ty, get your mind out of the gutter!”

  Bain smirked at me, tickled that Sean was repeating his words from the other night and I pulled my tongue out at him. His intent look warned that I should keep that move for when we were alone.

  “This is a lost cause. When you two lovebirds deem me worthy of your attention I expect you in the kitchen.”

  A dark look mapped Bain’s impressive and naked chest.

  “In your clothes preferably.”

  His exit wasn’t as spectacular as the entrance but let us with the appropriate sheepish expressions.

  “Your brother has the snobby act down to a T.”

  “Wait ‘till he starts on his high and mighty attitude. Le Monsieur Carter is always right.”

  “This is when he’ll demand that I take responsibility, isn’t it? Did I got you in trouble with your parents, honey? “

  It was meant to be a joke, I know that. That didn’t stop me from grimacing and he started letting out a downpour of previously unheard pejorative epithets. They may have covered several languages.

  “Jesus, I seem to really like to put my foot in my mouth with you.”

  “Bain, it’s okay. Really. I was just startled. You know, if dear daddy would know I seem to have a preference for the same sex he would probably hire a hit man to clear the family’s name.”

  His expression turned fierce and he stood up, enveloping me in his arms.

  “I’d like to see him try that. Or something. I would enjoy tearing his limbs one by one.”

  He tensed, just now aware of his tone and how his words coupled with his size could affect a poor-abused victim like me.

  I never said I was a pansy-ass crybaby. I took karate with the sole purpose of rendering my dear daddy unconscious the next time he so much as breaths harder around me.

  “Oh, okay then. I could set up a meeting for you two and play the abused victim. You’ll have the motive, I’ll have my front seat. “

  He slowly met my eyes, wearing a comical shocked expression on his rugged face. His eyes started to gleam with humor and he opened his mouth to comment on my bloodthirsty personality.

  “Move your asses right now!”

  We shared another grimace and Bain stopped me from hurrying to the kitchen.

  “I meant it you know. I’ll tear him apart if he touches you again. I’m sorry I left last night. I … When you think you can give me another chance, I’ll like to hear the rest.”

  “Not much left to tell.”

  He studied my face and then leaned for a quick peck administered to my tingling lips.

  “Somehow I doubt that. Now lets get in that kitchen before you brother comes with a knife to get us there. I suspect by that temper that he can apply his culinary proficiency with those Wusthof knives on other areas also. Like my body area. He did seem inclined to protect your chastity.”

  “He knows I never date and he finds me in bed with a six foot six “mountain”. And Wusthof?”

  “I’m aware I can be quite a shock, thank you. And what? I like to chook. Those knives are state of art beauties.”

  I gauged his expression to see if the size references upset him but he mostly seemed embarrassed by his cooking hobby and I forgone the conversations about how his size was actually what attracted me first for worrying about what I’ll find in the kitchen.

  While I knew my brother would stand by me no matter what, as he has proved countless times, I was a bit nervous about suddenly telling him I was gay. His opinion counted. An dhis jokes were terrible.

  Bain was sticking to my side like we were joined at the hip or something and I realized he was worried for me. This was his way of showing me his support and proving to Sean that we were an unite fort. It made him more endearing and I took his hand on an impulse. He squeezed back and smiled down at me encouragingly. In his eyes, he had just outed me to my brother. Little did he know.

  “Finally! I was preparing to send a search party.”

  Sean snickered at me and I wanted to cover my innocent ears since I knew his expression didn’t bode well for whatever sensibilities I was left with after living with the devil for the last four years.

  “Some juice? Beer? Some salve or unguent, Tyler?”

  “We just slept, wiseass. Jesus, did it take you long to come with that one?”

  “No, some five seconds after I opened your bedroom door to see you asphyxiated beneath that wall behind you. By the way, did you meet a vampire recently?”

  My hand quickly covered the mark on my neck in an almost protective gesture and I frowned.

  Bain’s chest rumbled with amusement and my accusing eyes turned up towards his amused face.

  “Don’t encourage him. He’s got an unlimited supply of jokes and little taunts just ready to unleash on my head. I’ll never live this up…”

  So maybe I was whining but seriously, my brother has no mercy when it comes to getting his kicks. I was sadly his preferred subject.

  Sean just ignored me and put some plates with breakfast on the table (probably some sort of last meal to the condemned in the prison of ever-lasting-butt-of-jokes).

  “Always knew you’ll eventually take to butt sex since you’re such a butthead. Ketchup?”

  I threw my hands in the air and acknowledged my defeat when Bain started laughing so hard the glasses were shaking like during an earthquake. That was the ground shifting under my feet to make room for me to hide…

  “Take the left seat Ty, I put a pillow on it for you.”

  Do I have to say anything else?

  “And here goes my peace and quiet…”

  Chapter Five

  Almost one week later, our long awaited first date still hadn’t happened. After a most painful morning with my brother dishing bad jokes on my expense like he was the fast food cook of digs and Bain, the bastard, laughing at each and every one of the horrible puns, I started to lower my mental anxiety level. Sean was okay with my apparent gayness and took it all in stride. I don’t even want to mention the “Ultimate Gay Sex” and “The Gay Man’s Kama Sutra” volumes that appeared out of nowhere in my bedroom. I had to change my laptop password twice since “someone” hacked in and bookmarked a bunch of sites that were now of interest for a butt virgin (really , that was the name of the folder the links were saved in) and then managed to accumulate a variety of viruses by downloading an impressive collection of -what else?- gay porn . Um, I do have to admit that some of those proved to be…instructive. My size and compa
tibility issues were more or less addressed. I don’t think they had someone of Bain’s size in mind when they wrote that stuff (I was talking about the sites, not the videos! Pervs.).

  Now I was finding myself in class, trying to put on my “mister teacher” serious look and failing miserably. Not that anybody noticed, everybody was too busy with reviewing the last lesson to study my twitches, grumbling and frowns. Bain must have rubbed down on me. Huh. Even my mind has started to make dirty analogies lately. Not that I had seen much of the man in the last few days, just some lunches and breaks in the park. That was another thing bugging the hell out of me; Bain has seemed a bit distracted. I may not know the man too well, um, make that hardly know, but usually when somebody looks at a tree like it holds the mysteries of the universe, something is weighting down on his mind. And the stubborn mule kept silent and just changed topics by asking about the cop’s apparently pointless investigation or my current projects. A very clever diversion tactic if I ever saw one as when I start talking about my pet projects I can go for hours and I don’t stop until somebody makes me. Bain still has the best ideas to shut my mouth when I get lost in algorithms. I sighed and risked a quick peek at the guy in question. He was in a front seat and was looking down at something with that permanent scowl on his face. I almost sighed again like a girl with her first crush and got back to business.

  Attendance all checked. Of course, Sean was playing hooky again like he had for almost a month now, but today I was too distracted to get annoyed. Just in front of me, in the second seat to the window, Adrian –that being the beaten kid’s name- was trying to make himself disappear in his chair , under the glare of the three stooges: Billy, Geoffrey and Astor, which were strategically placed around him. His bruises were almost gone, but I suspect- not forgotten. He was somehow different, like he would jump at the smallest noise and I hated that. The fact that the morons got off hook with only a warning and a pat on the back did nothing to improve my mood. The principal hasn’t involved de police and without Adrian’s support, I had my hands pretty much tied up.

  I was thinking of contracting somebody to teach them a lesson.

  I’m kidding.

  I think.

  I didn’t know I was growling until Bain caught my eye with an understanding (read that amused) gaze and shook his head a bit.

  The door opened and my giant little brother sauntered in, prowling like he owned the place. The color of the week seemed to be purple, since the hair and “accessories” were in that color. Besides the hair color we had little in common in our appearance and since Van Goth here liked testing the rainbow’s colors from his painting palette on himself, it was hard for me to remember the last time I saw his original hair color. Probably when he was sixteen or so.

  I opened my mouth to throw him some acid remarks but the little shit wasn’t paying attention to me at all. His eyes went straight to the small figure at the window. Huh.

  Then he looked at me and I almost jumped out of my skin when I met his darkened eyes and determined expression.

  This is my little brother? Ok, where were the aliens that had lobotomized him? What divinity did I have to worship for his change of personality?

  But seriously now, I wouldn’t want to be on the other end of his rage. Probably my eyes were sending the same message regarding the situation ‘cause he nodded like we agreed on something and headed toward Astor’s chair.

  “I’m making up today for last Tuesday. Sorry I’m late, teach. Won’t happen again.”

  And strangely, I knew it to be true. Those little green aliens apparently have accomplished a miracle. He was possessed by the demon of serious and committed behavior. Maybe he needed to be committed.

  Sean seemed to have decided something. And if that strange expression on his face when he looked at Adrian had something to do with it, I knew we needed to have another little talk soon regarding those bees and honey.

  Yes, maybe he could share some expertise since I was totally lost, I thought rolling my eyes upward.

  Damned if Bain didn’t catch my eye again exactly then, making me fidget and my blood rush toward distinct parts of my body so fast that I was becoming lightheaded. Shit.

  I sighed.

  It was going to be another looong class.

  When I heard a chair tumbling down, a muffled curse before the predicted bang of a body hitting the floor I didn’t even bother to check. Whichever of the three stooges got it was all the same to me and in this case politeness and playing by the rules seemed to have gotten me squat. If Sean wanted to play the knight in white armor and guard the kid’s back it was fine by me. I trusted Sean to take care of how he behaved around the shy figure hunched by the window and wondered if maybe Sean’s upfront and rebellious attitude wasn’t exactly what Adrian needed to get his feet under him.

  This was all like back in high school. I sighed again and started the lesson.

  I’ve hated high school.

  Two hours later I was running ragged to my history group, having already been ten minutes late. I just took the corner and started on another quiet hallway- jesus, but this building looks creepy after five o’clock- when I heard a shuffling noise behind me. I started to instinctively turn around and the last thing I remember seeing are the dark patters of the tiles I landed on with a muffled grunt.

  “Easy there, teach.”

  I blinked and then blinked again when the kid’s hair remained the same shade of burgundy. He also had the freckles to mach that color and I busied myself with squinting at the big nose I saw protruding from his face. I suddenly felt marginally better about my teen’s period.

  “You okay? Your eyes look funny.”

  The guy made a twirling motion with his finger and took a step back to let me get in a sitting position. My neck felt all cramped and my head was pulsing with pain. I saw little stars dancing before my eyes when I moved more briskly that my rattled brain approved.

  The walls seemed to lean in my direction and the flowers on the tile patter were dancing before my eyes. It was one out of two: either I had taken some blue pills from the stash my brother thinks I don’t know about (I don’t give him hard time about it since it’s always the same number of pills and I suspect they’re more of a memento), or I had a concussion. I badly wanted it to be the first one, but the security guard running down the hallway towards me hinted I had nil chances at that.

  The happy flowers told me gleefully that this time I wasn’t escaping a visit to the good old hospital. My pocket started to vibrate against my hip and I jumped startled, moaning after I checked to see if my head hasn’t tumbled away with that idiotic move.

  Luckily the phone was put on vibrate and “Indestructible” from Disturbed didn’t assaulted my screaming head. Personal joke. On Bain’s expense.

  “I hope I didn’t catch you during classes.”

  “Bain.”

  My voice was frail even to my ears and the guard started to make signs for me to close and tell what happened.

  “Tyler? What’s wrong?”

  “Bain.”

  Those damn flowers were closing on me again. I wanted Bain there with me.

  “Social Sciences Building, 3rd floor. Pick me up? Please?”

  The last was almost a whimper but I was beyond caring. And it didn’t actually occur to me that saying 3rd floor wasn’t exactly telling in a building this size. My head tried to roll down again when a door closed noisily somewhere close and the phone slipped from my hand. I heard somebody talking but I was too busy keeping myself conscious to give a damn about my surroundings.

  Some time must have passed and I suspect I might have zonked out a little or more since suddenly Bain was there, next to me on the floor, putting the fear of God and six foot six angry man in the crowd formed around my resting place on the hallway’s floor. Those tiles were not for lying on them let me tell you. I couldn’t feel my butt and I felt too much of my head. But Bain was there holding my offended scalp in his lap and I relaxed a bit.

&nb
sp; I didn’t realize I had closed my eyes until his firm voice brought me back to reality.

  “Open your eyes and keep them that way.”

  I’m quite sure I didn’t care much for the tone. Bully.

  “What happened?”

  Was he asking me?

  “Tyler, what the fuck are you doing bleeding on the fucking floor?”

  I blanched and jerked my head to see if I was indeed bleeding. Bad, bad move. The pain cleared my head and I started regretting that I told Bain to come. Asshole, I was injured here! The soft massage of my forehead made me swallow my retort and I risked another look around, slower this time.

  Yep, I was still on that blasted flowery hall. With an overly entertained audience. My reputation kept growing…

  “Where is my pack? I had my pack.”

  “The one you carry around everywhere?”

  “Yes, the pack.”

  I processed facts for a couple of seconds then turned seriously pissed off eyes on him.

  “Somebody knocked me down and stole the damn pack.”

  “Knocked you down?!”

  “Bain! Exploding head in the vicinity!”

  He had a mean volume when he was riled up.

  “Jesus, are you okay?”

  “Sure, I just thought I’ll take a nap on these lovely tiles.”

  He stopped checking my body integrity and smiled relieved at me.

  “If you can still be a smartass then you’ll probably live to see another day.”

  His smile turned into a scary predatory expression and I knew I wasn’t going to like what he’ll say next.

  “It’s hospital this time, Ty. You don’t mess around with a head injury.”

  Maybe I could stay unconscious for the whole deal.

  “If they want to keep me overnight, you’re staying with me.”

  I don’t know why that made him so happy. He stole a quick kiss under the avid gazes of half the students currently in the building before turning a cold look at the fidgety guard. I suspected they knew each other if I judged by the guard’s wary expression.