Good for Me

by Aeryn Jaden

  “Where the hell were you and what are all these people still doing here? Did you try to secure the scene? Search for the pack? Block the entrance? Anything besides sitting there like a moron?”

  His rant was quite effective in cleaning the hallway. The freckled kid stayed, unsure of what should he do. A bark from Bain almost caused him a heart attack.

  “What?!”

  “Um… I found him? Should I stay and like, talk to the cops or… something?”

  Our buddies, officer Stevens and friendly cop chose that moment to enter the scene. Stevens let out a long suffering sigh and frowned at me.

  “Looks like you have a busy week. Missed us already, Mister Lucas?”

  “Like a pain in the ass.”

  Ups. I may have said that aloud. His partner didn’t try to mask an amused huff and turned to interrogate the guard. Stevens’ look promised it was going to be a long night. And he’ll enjoy every minute of it.

  Well, at least I had a good excuse to skip teaching the history class. Some of those guys were just now learning that a mouse wasn’t a rodent.

  Some hours later, I was grumpily studying yet another former-white-now-beige ceiling. My prediction about being forced to stay the night enjoying the luxurious hotel named Hospital St Michael had came true. I was still bitter about Bain calling the heavy artillery on me. My brother came with cuffs. I don’t know and I don’t want to know where he got those. And Bain’s look has been too appraising for my peace of mind. Anyway, it seemed that my fear of doctors and their natural environment was hardly a secret from my brother. His off-hand remark to Bain that I was a pansy-ass with childish night terrors made it quite clear. At least he didn’t seem to know how I got that way. I never wanted Sean to find out. His relationship with dear daddy what tense at best and Sean may seem as an easy going superficial fluke of a guy but I knew him better that that. If he ever found out, it’ll be blood for blood and yeah, I did relish the thought of seeing my daddy dearest bloodied to a pulp but not at Sean’s expense. He had a not so clean record from his troubled rebellious phase. I could now accomplish the deed myself if I was keen on visiting the prison. I wasn’t. I wanted to let the past stay in the past.

  The chair creaked under Bain’s weight and I sighed. I was not fair to him and I didn’t want to appear like a spoiled brat even if the thought of being alone in that sterile hospital room made me break into hives and shiver in terror.

  “You can go home, you know. I’ll be fine.”

  “I would believe that if you could stop fidgeting for at least two seconds. You’re a bad liar.”

  Huh, I wasn’t. Usually. I think.

  “But I will go to the supermarket. We need some cards or games to keep you awake. The nurse will come wake you up every 2 hours and I found out from personal experience that it’s just better to stay awake. How’s your head?”

  “Exploding. And if you turn on that light I’ll be forced to kill you.”

  He huffed. I would have laughed at the image of me trying to take down Bain if I could have been sure my head wouldn’t protest that too.

  “Be back soon.”

  He slipped something in my hand and I recognized the shape of my cell phone. The sneak!

  “Cell phones are not…”

  “Yeah, sure. Keep it close and speed-dial one - that’s my number- if anything seems out of the ordinary.”

  The tone of voice made me stop and stare at him in confusion. He ignored me and left before I could think of something to say. My head was throbbing happily and I may have been slow at thinking today but this was shaping an unpleasant scenario in my head.

  Recap. What was that Stevens had said. Busy week? Yes, indeed. Starting with last Monday. First the parking lot, then the break in the lab and all in one night. A couple of quiet days then the thing with Adrian. Mmmh. That seemed unrelated. Then the thing from this evening. All that was missing was my pack. Soo.. somebody was after my pack. What was so valuable..?

  I squinted at the dark window and suddenly I had the impulse to bang my hard head on a wall.

  Of course! I always had my laptop in that pack! The lab, my laptop… My work! But which one of my projects? Several of those could be hot for technological thieves. There was more than one high profile company that would appreciate getting their hands on my work or eliminating the competition I represented. This was useless, even if I now knew somebody wanted my work it was anybody’s guess who that was or which project was targeted.

  Bain was worried about me. I still gripped the phone, warmed by his gesture and laughed quietly when I remembered his efficient method of convincing the doctors he was needed here, next to my bed. The man could imitate wild animals on the verge of attack like no other. He had all the growling sounds down to a pat. The fact that even the hospital security guard was intimidated shouldn’t come as a surprise. I frowned remembering something. Bain had pulled the guard from the hallway for a one on one discussion and then things suddenly were settled, Bain could spend the nigh. Weird. I wondered if Bain told them he was my bodyguard or something. That could explain the suspicious looks and the way the staff kept their distance.

  The nurse passed by, checking on me and I started counting the seconds with the clock on the wall. I was tempted to call Bain just to see what he was doing for so long. He had left more than one hour ago and these white walls were starting to close on me again. I was sweating and I had my eyes wide open, knowing that if I closed them I would see things I didn’t care to revisit. I held back my panic by gripping that phone like it was my lifeline. After ten more minutes, I was ready to give up and find my way out in my hospital prison, even if I had to climb out of the window. Bain had the fucking line busy.

  “Yes. Yes, I understand. No, I don’t think so. Yes, I’ll make sure. Yes… No, the incident today...”

  He snapped his mouth shut and gripped the phone so hard his knuckles were white.

  “Yes, I understand. I’ll take care of it.”

  If he had to say another yes and make another ass kissing verbal bow, he was going to be sick. He was already sick of all this bullshit. And he was worried that he was in too deep to handle it. Now, for the first time he dreaded having to lie to stay in the game.

  “I have cross words, cards and a monopoly. You’ll love this.”

  Bain pulled a small lamp from the bag and my lips twitched. It was one of those kiddies lamp with a lot of stars and little birdies on it.

  “Funny. Real funny.”

  Bain expression remained clueless although I could spot a small twitch at the corner of his left eye. The fucker, he was messing with me.

  “Ha ha ha. Hope I made your day. Satisfied now?”

  “Quite so.”

  I was somewhat pacified but my hands were still trembling slightly.

  “Where were you? I called you.”

  “What? What happened?”

  The transformation was so sudden that I didn’t even get to blink. The relaxed stance he had when he dropped in the chair changed to a ready-for-anything one - he was still, alert and was quickly scanning the surroundings. Military training in action?

  “Nothing. Relax. I just…got bored and wondered were you were.”

  Bain remained tense and his searching eyes locked on me, too knowing.

  “You panicked again.”

  I could only give a small nod, ashamed by my weakness.

  “Shit, Ty. I’m sorry. The market was closed, I had to find a gas station.”

  “I’m a big boy.”

  I scrunched my nose hopping to divert the conversation.

  “Since when do gas stations sell that kind of lamps?”

  He smiled mischievously and I started to wonder if this course of conversation wasn’t more dangerous than the last.

  “My niece lend me that. You’re invited to dinner on Friday.”

  “Dinner? With your niece?”

  If his smile got bigger, his jaw will be stuck in that position. I was heading straight for it, whatever
it was, with the last question.

  “Not quite. Friday is family dinner time. Me, my sis and our family. Meaning, parents will be involved. Sometimes gramps too.

  “You want me to…Oh, nonono.”

  His eyes warmed and that intent look held my panicky gaze. It was a lost cause, I could see it.

  “Yes, I want you to. Promise me something?”

  “I won’t let my mouth run wild. I swear.”

  Dinner with his parents? But we haven’t even ….Errr. Dated yet.

  “I like it when you say what you think. It’s relaxing. I never have to wonder.”

  That was strange. And the mood was starting to freak me out.

  “Bain..?”

  “Promise you will call me if anything happens. Anything, for any reason, no matter what. Got it?”

  He was scaring the crap out of me.

  “O-kay. I promise. Speed dial one and you’ll keep your phone un-busy for me.”

  I had seen a lot a smiles coming from Bain but never had one put me on guard like his expression now. Wary, determined, chagrined. What the heck?

  Chapter Six

  I found out what the big deal was sooner that I thought I’ll be able to pull it out from Bain’s glued shut mouth. Another damned dark hallway. Namely the blasted one leading to my lab. This particular event closely involved my lab’s door.

  Bain had stayed all night entertaining me at the hospital. In the morning when those prison guards otherwise called doctors deemed me ready to be paroled, he received a call and got that wary expression again. I went home with Sean, Bain having had left immediately after the call. He offered to wait for Sean to get there but I could see he was distracted and he kept watching the door anxiously so I set him free.

  Too free.

  Free enough to have his tongue down the throat of some fluffy blonde with long legs and a very short skirt. I say very short because Bain’s hand had lifted it up enough for me to notice the little hearts that made the pattern of her panties.

  Times like these I regretted not smoking. I could almost see myself leaning on the wall, waiting for them to notice me and stop abusing my poor door. And my heart. It would make a great pose. I stood there frozen watching him put to work the same trick he used to shut up my mouth and make my knees tremble. A teasing bite on the lower lip, a lick, some tongue and the body rubbing.

  Very educative, I thought with a distant wince. I felt numb all over and I didn’t know how I should react. I wanted to run and pretend I never saw anything. Somehow, the thought that I desperately wanted to erase what my brain was practically recording now didn’t sit to well with me and I got a little queasy. My head was still throbbing painfully and I should probably not be at work today. I wonder if Bain had counted on that.

  I must have made a sound eventually since I saw his shoulders tense and he slowly turned his head in my direction freezing with an unreadable expression when he saw who was interrupting.

  “Conner? Who is there, sweetie?”

  I twisted my lips in a mock smile. Sweetie, huh? That meant it wasn’t a first for them. I wondered at my ability to still coldly analyze and just stand there when I could feel my insides crawling and twisting. Call it survival instinct. My heart may be screaming harder that my head was but I had learned a lesson long ago. Never show any weakness. I broke that rule with him and I deserved what I got. So I swallowed hard and met his gaze calmly. He may have flinched but I was beyond carrying about his sensibilities. I could have been looking at a stranger for all I knew. Hell, he was a stranger albeit one I entertained the notion that I knew and could trust. That hurt.

  “If you excuse me, I need to get through that door.”

  The fluffy bunny gasped and hurriedly stumbled from the door she had been plastered to.

  “Teach… I …we…”

  I watched her struggling for an explanation while I observed her messy appearance and noticed that her bra was open. Bain had opened that bra.

  The man was currently silent and just stood there with the same cryptic expression. Did it matter what he had to say? He had spent the night with me while I was scared, kissed me senseless, telling me that I was important. That he cared. He made me care back. In such a short time. My first kiss. Huh, my first crush, wasn’t it? Would have been my first time too. Even now when my ice wall was starting to crumble and I began to feel how hard it was to breathe, I still wondered. I had wanted him to be my first. He could have been my only one too, since I was who I was. Twenty-six years old virgin with romantic notions I was just discovering, apparently gay and with deep rooted trusting issues. When I commit to something or someone I do it for life. Had he known that or just considered all this a game to pass the time?

  No, it didn’t matter. It was my fault anyway. Jesus, what was I, a kid? I knew the guy for like twenty-four hours before spilling my guts to him.

  I laughed and it resembled a bitter screech even to my ears. I got what I deserved. Bain seemed to flinch slightly. I probably imagined it, the man was made of stone.

  “No worries. Is it Judy?”

  “Julie.”

  “Right, from Economics 2. Well, I’ll be on my way. Take care next time. Bye, now.”

  Bye now.

  Bye now bye now bye now.

  Bye.

  The door supported my weight as I slowly slid to the floor of my dark lab.

  Next week passed in a blur. Classes, some updates from the police- they were investigating the technological espionage angle- and work and more work. I must have spent most of the night in the lab and it seems like my first heartbreak was good for my projects. The days kept rolling and merging and I was still numb. I preferred it that way. I preferred that I pass down from exhaustion when I managed to get home. I avoided thinking too much. Bain had made himself scarce and I was grateful. I was unsure of my reaction when I will see him. Time helped to build back the defenses that I lowered for him. I did see Judy-Julie. That was fun. I felt strange seeing her, like it was happening to someone else. All week had felt that way. Some part of me was afraid I’ll never feel again, another part was busy not giving a damn. It was a liberating feeling. Huh, that was funny indeed. The thought that I should be grateful to Bain for showing me how to hide my thoughts and just continue not giving a damn about everything passed my mind and froze the last of my churning insides. I was safer that I ever was. I twisted my lips in a grimace and snickered.

  Nothing happened out of the ordinary. No cars speeding in the parking lot and no more hits to the back of my head. It was surprising considering that my laptop had been at home when I was assaulted and the thief hadn’t got it. Courtesy of Sean and the viruses he’d managed to acquire, I had left it home that day planning to clean my system. Thank god I had backup for all my data or I would have been forced to kill somebody. Anyway, Sean was making himself scarce too and if I had been in a better state of mind, I would have wondered about that.

  I was busy.

  On Friday I confused the mouse with my soda and almost fried the damn thing. The scare brought to my attention that I haven’t saved the work done during the last two days and that maybe I was getting careless. Anyway, the numbers kept dancing in front of my eyes, a clear sign I was way overdue for a break. I felt tired enough to just crash there on my desk but a hot shower was waiting me at home. And I was in dire need of one of those. I’m lucky that I don’t have a lot of facial hair or I would be unrecognizable. Even so I got some wary looks when I left the lab. I was getting annoyed with myself and the entire situation. After one week of just burying my head in the sand even I, the super-geek that just loved to lose himself in the virtual world of programming, yearned to speak with another living being. If I still felt an ache in my chest when I close the lab’s door I chose the ignore method.

  To say I’m stubborn would be an understatement. It’s one of my finest qualities and I cultivate it with diligence. I got lost a little bit there, carelessly caressing the wood of the door with a frown on my face. Avoidance hasn�
��t worked all that well for me, and I had found myself more than once wondering what did I miss and what went wrong with Bain. I was confident in my instincts, I had honed them from a young age. Instinct had told me Bain could be trusted. And all that I observed about him made me more confused. Things didn’t add up and I knew I was missing something. Maybe at the moment I had been too shocked to think clearly but now I was almost sure that me stumbling on them making out was a intentional thing. I mean, come on, right on my lab’s door? All this didn’t make it hurt less. With hurt came anger, then my familiar preferred auto-protection measure. Closing in, walls up and reinforced. I cared but I didn’t. I was determined I wasn’t felling what I was and I didn’t allow myself to linger on it. So what if Bain has orchestrated the whole thing for whatever reason? Fuck it. I didn’t need this. Fact was he had lied either way with that small act in the hallway. I may have understood if he had simply been attracted to somebody else. I don’t have too many illusions about my sex-appeal. Hurt, but I would have understood and we would have parted friends.

  Lies are another thing. So he wasn’t two-timing, didn’t matter since he wasn’t honest with me. How could I trust him then? I couldn’t. It hurt but I knew myself.

  I lingered there in the hallway and allowed myself to fell a last pang of regret. If I was right, Bain would eventually make an appearance with an explanation for his actions. Little did he know that it won’t matter whatever that explanation was. I had been lied one time too many.

  He hated this shit. And the sentiment just kept growing. Bain watched Tyler walking towards his house and managed to suppress the curses. The guy looked terrible. Unshaved, messy hair, dirty clothes. He knew for a fact that he had been home just once this week, preferring to work in his lab. Hell, he even knew the last time Tyler ate, and that being yesterday didn’t do much for his cool. But the thing that hit him the hardest was this almost vacant cold look Tyler had on his face for some days now. That spelled trouble. Jezz, did it now?!